Joshua place the sleeping body of his boyfriend in the passenger seat of the car. He text Jeonghan and S.Coups to tell them they are on the way back home. He pulled into the drive way and he was reluctant to wake up the sleeping body, he just looked so soft when asleep, so childish. He had those features in his face when tired or sick. 

He carded his hands through the brunettes hair and sighed at the soft groan from the latter. He gently shook the boy awake, carefully so as not to aggravate the concussion. “Come on baby we are here, wake up. I promise you can sleep once we go inside. I’ll even carry you if you want,” Joshua bribed the sleepy boy  

The latter finally groan and shifted. A slight whine exited his mouth as he stretched crammed limbs. He gave Joshua a slight yawn and then a small nod. Something about the situation made Joshua coo, his boyfriend looked so small, maybe it was that he was barely fit the bed that he was assigned. 

Maybe it was that a tired Vernon was the cutest Vernon. He was so soft and squishy when tired... Joshua made it a goal to see this side once more soon. He slid his hand under his boyfriends legs and heaved him up bridal style so that the boy was still able to sleep. His soft brown hair brushing against the side of his neck and collarbone. 

Joshua gave his dongsaeng’s and hyungs quick nod of acknowledgement as he set foot upstairs to lay the latter down. He places the sleeping boy on the bed and flicked the lights off as he left the boy to sleep. 

“How is he?” Jeonghan asked the pink haired male as he crept back downstairs. Joshua shook his hand to represent okay. “He’s been better, he has a concussion and a fracture in his wrist, he should be okay and 3-4 weeks with his wrist and the concussion should heal by 3 weeks,” he whispered. 

Joshua pointed upstairs and then gave a curt reply. “He said his head hurt and he fell asleep in the car. He is now sleeping upstairs.” Jeonghan nodded. He wasn’t surprised with the concussion, because the boy had been squinting when lights went on and off during the day, and his phone was alway at he lowest brightness possible for about a day or 2 before the accident. 

“Any news on why he faint? Did it have something to do with he concussion? I would make sense but..” Jeonghan trail off for justification. He looked back at Joshua for an answer. 

“Yeah, he...he....it had to do with the concussion, the doctors said it was normal to seen with fainting spells with concussion,” he said. A half truth, he figured an accidental overdose was not the best thing to tell a stressed out mother goose. And especially not after that mother goose had one of her kids just end up in the hospital. 

Jeonghan nodded and he pushed Joshua out of the kitchen so he could make dinner for his “children”. Joshua made his way back upstairs to sit beside his boyfriend again. Just to make sure he didn’t need anything. 

After a few hour, Joshua decide to wake up the latter. “Hansol, come on dinner is almost ready, and you need to take your medicine so that the pain isn’t worsen.” 

“It already did,” was the muffled response from the blanket fortress. Joshua threw off some of the covers and tossed the latter a sweatshirt and skinny jeans. He then lead the boy by the hand and drag him down the stairs. 

“Yah...Kwon Soonyoung...come down from-“ Jeonghan winced when he saw Hansol squeeze his eyes shut at the sudden change of volume. “Yah...sorry Hansol,” Jeonghan said as the younger sighed as he closed the eyes. 

Hansol nodded, and opened his eyes. He gave a slight smile before he sat down next to his older boy- friend. He felt his stomach flip flop after a few bites and he let out a small whimper to Joshua, who nodded back at him. “You don’t have to eat it all, I know that you still feel nauseous from the concussion, it’s okay baby.” 

Hansol took one last bite before asking to be excused to go to the bathroom, the nausea catching up with him once again, as he pulled on Joshua’s hand to get him to follow. Hansol collapsed in front of the toilet and released all his contents from his stomach, he bit the lower part of his lip so as not to worry the elder. 

Hansol moaned at the pain that was caused in his head by throwing up, and at the discomfort. His stomach hurt and he tried to force himself to stop so as not to aggregate the pain in either place any more then he have to. “Baby please, you will feel so much better if you do, just let it out,” Joshua tried reassuring his younger boyfriend as he got sick in the bathroom. 

Joshua lightly circled one arm around the slim waist of Hansol, and use the other to rub circles into his back and mumble reassure words to him as he vomited into the toilet. Hansol lean his body back on his boyfriend and panted, trying to regain his breath. 

“Do you want me to go get you some medicine? For the pain and the nausea?” Joshua asked the boy as he groaned when he shifted position, the response was wordless but a curt and swift nod answered the obvious question. 

Joshua return with a glass of water and two white pill in his hand. He held the glass, unsure of how weak his boyfriend was after being sick, and allowed the boy to place the pills in his mouth, tip the glass back on the soft pink lips of the boy. Hansol silently thank the boy and motion to the bedroom. 

Joshua tried staying awake until he felt his boyfriend fall asleep but he was tired and ended up falling asleep much before the latter. He said one lady goodnight before he ended up falling asleep. 

—————

Once Vernon knew the older was asleep he crept out of the room one last time to enter the bathroom. He slid the door shut quietly. He sighed as he squatted down beside the toilet, he lean forward on his knees and he pressed two fingers to the back of his mouth and threw up bile. 

There was nothing in his stomach that he could expel so he had to settle for the familiar burning liquid that slid up the back of his throat and out of his mouth with force. He felt the strong acrid smell fill his nose and the bathroom. 

He wiped the bile off of his mouth with a paper towel. He then support himself against the sink of the bathroom and leaned against the cool surface. He unwrapped part of the splint on his wrist and ran a finger over the previous scars as he slowly opened the cabinet and pulled out a razor, he slowly slid the blade over the inside of his wrist and watch the blood bubble over. 

‘This is for being useless, you have made your boyfriend worry so much about you and you  have done nothing but be an annoyance.’ 

Another cut form under the first. 

‘This one was letting down the Carats and Pledis. You are already not Korean and you are clearly the most unworthy out of all of them and the most easily replaced.’ 

And the last one was placed perpendicular to the other two. He smiled at the blood that had bubble over the cuts he had placed. 

‘This last one was if someone ever found out about this. Think about how much this would kill your boy-

friend. That you are such a looser that this is what you resort to. What a complete failure. You should be kicked out immediately.’ 

Once he was satisfied he pressed a wad of paper towels to the cut until the bleeding stopped. He then deposited the bloody wad into the toilet and flushed it. He placed a new wad to the cuts and re-wrapped the bandages on his wrist. 

He washed the bloodied razors on the sink making sure that nothing was left behind that could be questionable. He then trashed them and then he closed the door to the bathroom. He slipped through the door to his bedroom and he lay down next to his sleeping boyfriend. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered even thought he knew that nobody could hear. He the pink hair of the boy and wrapped his good arm around his boyfriends waist and smiled. 

“I’m sorry but you know I deserve this. It’s to obvious that I do,” he said. A single tear slid down his cheek and he fell asleep like that. In his own sorrow and his own fake facade.