Joshua you should stop thinking,’ Hansol had said to him one and it was true. He thought way too much and he shouldn’t. But one thing had bothered him since he got home, should he telling the others about this?

They were a group. A family. They should be able to trust each other, but he wasn’t sure if it was the best idea or the best situation to put the younger in, especially at a time like this. He sighed. He really shouldn’t think to much. 

He caught himself staring at Hansol’s thighs for most of the car ride home. He couldn’t help it. When Hansol was nervous or scared, and when he was sitting he would pull his knees up to his chest. Slim-thick muscles brushing against each other. But there was almost nothing there. 

He had a thigh gap, an obvious one and his thighs barely brushed up against each other except high up, hips thin as he thought if he squinted he could see them poking out a bit. Even his wrists that were atop his knees, bones sticking out a bit along with the blue veins in his hand. 

His cheeks were more pronounced than ever and he wasn’t able to see the baby fat that he have since pre-debut. Joshua sighed, continually flicking his eyes between the road and his boyfriend. He gingerly reach out to pat his thigh. 

“.” He mentally swore to himself because duh, Hansol cut last night. He look over at the younger who was looking up biting into his lip with a look of slight pain across his face. Muttering a silent apology he turned his gaze back to the road. 

Joshua decided that he would wait to tell the other members. Telling them now would get them rather work up for no reason, so not telling them would protect himself and Hansol from the wrath of Yoon Jeonghan. 

——————

Jeonghan was not happy to say the least. For the past week and a half he kept loosing two of his “children”, Joshua and Vernon. Ever since Hansol broke his arm the two went from inseparable to almost always apart. 

It’s like they we’re broken up with each other. Which Jeonghan did not want to have to deal with. He stood pacing around the apartment with a prominent scowl across his face. 

“Seungcheol? Do you know where my kids are? They been gone for hours.” He stated loudly into said person ear making said person jump with shock and at the volume. Running a hand through his medium length hair as he waited for an answer. 

“I know as much as you do, though Joshua a left a little while ago,” he said, with the ‘as a matter of fact’ in his voice as well as an ‘ow my ears.’ “Since when were they your children.” 

“Since for ever, do you not pay attention? Jeonghan’s baby, Jeonghan’s idiot, Jeonghan’s flower,” he said. “And there’s also Jeonghan’s star-“ 

“We need to stop this before we end up with Jeonghan’s table or something.” S. Coups said. 

Jeonghan shook his head. Still waiting for the missing people to show up so that he could scold them for not being —wherever they were supposed to be— and for not telling him. Yeah they had it coming. And really his table? 

————

If Seungkwan have to admit it then he would have agreed that the dorm was much quiet then it usually was, especially without him and Vernon bickering and having their “friendly rivalry” about things that don’t matter. 

His shared room was quiet then he was used to and it kept him up at night. It was cleaner and he didn’t have to yank a blanket off of a very tired and cranky Vernon who would have complained about nothing that was even happened at the moment.  

Dance practice was weird. Nobody had to leave to go and find him, or yell so loudly that Hansol would still not here them. Or have to yank out his headphones cord to be able to talk to him. And there was less of the weird rap battles that were pointless. 

Who else would Boo Seunkwan hit relentlessly for no reason? He realize that he was kinda lonely even though he wouldn’t admit it. He thought sometimes that if one member leave there wouldn’t be that much of a difference, but even with Hansol gone for a few minute it wasn’t the same. 

—————

Joshua cleared his throat to try to break the silence that was so tense you could literal slice it with a knife. He gulped, he knew that voice his opinion any other time wouldn’t be a problem but this was different. This time he wasn’t the one who need the attention. It was Hansol. 

Hansol need to tell the group about this, and Joshua just need to make sure that he could do this without having a panic attack, or pass out or whatever. He let out a small groan because he know How stubborn Hansol could be. 

“Sollie? We are gonna be home soon, all of the other members are really worry about you. I think that you should tell them what’s wrong or at least make an effort,” he knew the answer already before he even finished. 

Hansol didn’t say anything at first. Switching his gaze from the road to Joshua but never look up to meet his eyes. Hansol brown eyes hidden by his hair and astray. He shook his head. Cheeks flushed and face pale like he’d see a ghost. 

“N-no. They’d pity me and think it was all their fault when it was really my fault, b-because I’m not good enough. And if I told them that then they would get really protective of me and...then I would feel worse and-“ he pressed a hand to his mouth. “J-Joshua...I-I’m g-gonna throw up.” 

Joshua skidded the car to a stop, walking around to open the door so that the latter could collapse on the side of the road heaving up bile, and some water, no food which mean he didn’t eat, although Joshua had expected that. The only thing that he could do was rub small circle into his back and tell him to calm down. 

He partially know that this only happened because he made Hansol stress to much so he pushed back some stray hairs and let him lean against him once he was done. 

He could feel the younger chest heaving a little bit with exhaustion. He assumed the dizzy feeling was consume the latter as well, running a hand through his hair as a sympathetic gesture muttering som “I love you’s” and “it’s okay.” 

“Baby I really think we should tell them. You don’t have to speak but it’s best if we tell them ya?” 

He feel the younger nod against his chest. 

—————

Mingyu noticed just like everyone else in the hip hop unit that it was awfully quiet without their dancer baby. They had nobody to hover over to make sure he wasn’t push himself to hard, or panting with exhaustion. 

Hansol was their something special, usually falling over something during practice and graceful on the stage. There lyric “genius” and could light up a room with his laugh or his smile. Sure he wasn’t a perfect member of the maknae line but he was their light. 

Mingyu spend most of practice with his headphones in and pretend to hear what S. Coups was teaching them about the choreography and something. Nodding and agreeing with whatever the others were saying running to the bathroom to text Joshua about wether or not they would be come home today. 

‘Yes’ 

————————

Jeonghan gathered all of his child’s into the living room. Circling them up as the text was sent to both him and Mingyu. 

“Listen up guys. So I know that some changes will be made and that we been missing some member for a while. Joshua is bringing Vernon home with him and he also say that we need to be respectful because of some of the issues going on-“ 

Jeonghan stoped talking as the sound of metal rubbing against metal made itself clear. As the lock clicked unlock the door was slightly push open. Joshua gripped the hand of his boyfriend who walked in slowly looking down at the ground. 

“Jeonghan-hyung? There is something we need to tell you all.”