..

His chest is burning. His eyes is getting watery and it’s getting difficult to breathe.

He wants to go and breaks the two people in front of him apart.

He wants to punch that ing Junsu in the face so again.

God knows how badly he wants to…

But he cannot do it. His body just turns cold like he is freeze.

And yeah he is really freeze because he cannot move even when he wants to. The scene simply locks his movement.

When they breaks apart and Woohyun turns to look at him in the eyes, Sunggyu’s breathe halts for a second.

It’s a cold stare, somewhat emotionless. Sunggyu cannot read what it is or maybe his mind is not clear enough to read those eyes now.

He closes his eyes, simply cannot handle the gaze anymore. He gulps the lump that is forming down his throat. Gathering all the courage, he opens his eyes again and takes the step.  

 

A step down the stair, escaping from the scene.

 

He doesn’t want to know whatever the is going.

The fact that Woohyun will be that guy or choose that guy and not him. He doesn’t think he can handle all of those.

First teardrop spills from his eye when his feet touches the ground floor. He tries to hold everything in but it’s just hurt.

He bitterly smiles as he wipes the tear off with his thumb. Sunggyu wants to scream his lung out so that all the pain and frustrated feeling will drop off from his chest.

His leg starts to pick up the speed and runs as fast as it can. He doesn’t care if he still have another class to attend or that note to prepare for the council meeting tomorrow. He just wants to go and cry his heart out somewhere.

 

---

 

What just happened?

Woohyun doesn’t know but Sunggyu’s hurtful gaze somewhat throbs his heart though his cold stare preserves.

“Woohyun ah, Are you okay?” Junsu’s question snaps him out of his mind.

“Yes, Yes” he quickly answered then turns to look at the door where the person just disappeared into.

“I think he won’t bother you again” Junsu said with a smirk, while holding Woohyun’s shoulder but the latter does not notice it as his mind is replaying with the certain hurt expression that he just witnessed.

 

I don’t understand.

 

---

 

“Yah! Kim Myungsoo, Open the door!” Sungyeol yells while knocking on the front door of an apartment.

“Coming, Coming” a faint voice coming from inside, before the door is yanked opened, showing the dark slight curly hair, looking annoyed.

“Do you really have to yell when you already texted me?” Myungsoo murmured, hating the fact that his owl-eye boyfriend has to yell that loud.

“You are taking forever!” argued Sungyeol with his loud voice.

“It’s just few minutes” Myungsoo shot back, furrowing his eyebrow harder.

“Yah! Keep the argument to yourself, Where’s hyung?” Hoya interrupted the couple fight as he and Dongwoo is not having this at all when they have come here on a different purpose.

Myungsoo let out a sigh “in his room, not talking to me at all… What happened? Woohyun again?”

Dongwoo just shrugs while Hoya takes a big breath before responding

“Don’t know. Only see his bag in the room and cannot reach his phone so we assume something happened since forgetting a bag is too much no matter how clumsy a person is”

 “Here is your brother bag. Now make way~~” Sungyeol said while shoving a light blue backpack into Myungsoo’s hand.

They step into the small apartment and wasting no time in going to knock the door on the right.

“Sunggyu Hyung!” Hoya shouts while knocking on the door.

 

No response.

 

 “Yah! Hyung!”

“I’ve been doing that for sometimes now with no result” Myunsoo said as he leans against the wall beside the door.

“He’s sure a stubborn guy” Hoya said as he knock another knock on the door.

Myungsoo shrugs giving the you-know-that expression.

 

After an hour, they give up trying to get the response the guy behind the door. It was nothing.

But instead of going home, they decided to do a sleepover at the house.

Myungsoo pulls out some food from the fridge and some alcohol along with it. Who care about being underage for drinking.

“I left food in microwave; just heat it if you are hungry at night” Myungsoo shouted in front of Sunggyu’s closed door. Again, only silent comes back.

Knowing his hyung, He simply walks back to join the guys in the living room.

“He wanna starve himself or what” Sungyeol said as Myungsoo plops in next to him on the sofa.

“He’ll live. He’s been worse” Myungsoo mumbled, reaching out for cup on the table.

His friends give him a curious look. Getting the odd look, Myungsoo adds “Before knowing you guys”

“Does Woohyun affect him that much?” Sungyeol asked.

“You can say that. In a way” Myungsoo lazily replied.

“You are the same as him when you fought with Myungsoo” Dongwoo blurted out at Sungyeol.

“Geez, I don’t”

“Like you literally didn’t eat too”

“Yah!”

 

They continue to talk about random stuffs when suddenly the door of the closed room is opened and shut almost immediately with a loud slam.

“Hyung!” Myungsoo yelled out while looking at Sunggyu who is already at the door, slipping into his shoe.

The guy completely ignores the call and exit, slamming the door shut with a loud bang.

Dumbfounded by the situation, all of them do not make any moves until they heard the sound of engine starting that they rush to the window to see.

 “Where the hell is he going?”

“I have no idea”

“I hope he knows what he doing”

 “I will just assume he knows what he’s doing” Hoya muttered out.

 

----

 

Sitting behind the wheel, Sunggyu stares blankly at the road. He wants an escape.

But where can you escape when you simply cannot? Then there is only one thing,

 

Alcohol…

 

It’s not like he likes the bitter tasted liquid but it helps him forget stuffs for a moment.  

 

An escape…

 

Although, it’s a temporary one but he does not care that much now. He just wants to clear his thought out of everything.

He steps into that convenience store and straightly walks to the alcohol corner. He just grabs whatever on the shelf in a great number.

The cashier looks at him in a weird stare as she is scanning one bottle after another. Noticing the stare, Sunggyu returns her a deep dark gaze that clearly say “don’t ing mind my business”.

She clears and hurries away with her work. After paying for everything, Sunggyu grabs the plastic bags in each hand and walks out of the store.

He’s definitely gonna drink his thought away.

From a certain someone.

 

----

 

Hours later…

 

Shot after shot, Sunggyu doesn’t know how many bottles it is that he is emptying.

“Hyung, come on. Myungsoo said you didn’t eat anything today” Dongwoo warned but it only falls on the deaf ear as Sunggyu took another shot.

Hoya extent his hand to hold the glass in Sunggyu’s hand, stopping the guy from getting more liquid into his system.

“Come on, Hyung”

“Let go” Sunggyu whines in annoyance.

Hoya looks at Myungsoo and the others for help in which Myungsoo mouths “Let him be”. He knows that his brother can get really aggressive sometimes when the liquid gets into him.

Hoya bits his lip and let go of the glass with much hesitation.

 

Few more bottles were gone when Sunggyu starts to cry; literally cry. He’s becoming a sobbing mess.

As he cries harder, sobbing hard. Dongwoo pulls him into a hug while patting his back. People in the room looks at each other in hopelessness. They have very little idea of what to do. After all, the solution to this person’s problem now is not something they can solve.

“I just… want him back…why can’t… he just… see it?” Sunggyu choked out between the hiccups.

 

“I admitted… I was wrong… for dumping him but I…didn’t mean to”

 

“Is one time…. mistake forever…. a mistake?”

 

“Why can’t I… get another… chance?”

 

“If I can go…. back in time, I would”

 

“But I ing can’t!”

 

“What else does he want me to do?”

 

Sunggyu continues to cry while holding onto the edge of Dongwoo’s shirt.

 

Can we just go back to our time again, Woohyun ah…

 

That’s Sunggyu’s last murmur before falling into complete silent, leaving the other four guys in the room looking concerned at him.

  

-------

 

Woohyun’s eyes wander around the class and immediately notices the empty space where he’s usually lost in thought while staring at.

Kim Sunggyu is absent. That’s new…

 

 Or not…

 

Was I being too much? The question keeps appearing in his head sometimes now.

While eating lunch this afternoon with Junsu, he was staring a hole at the empty spot where Sunggyu and the other usually sit. He doesn’t know why his brain keeps thinking of the incidence and what Sunggyu may feel.

Woohyun is so occupied in the thought that does not even notice the teacher dismisses the class.

“Woohyun, class is done” the teacher said while clearing his throat.

The said guy dazed out of his thought and looks at his teacher who is gathering stuff while shaking head at him in disapproving. Woohyun’s face turns red in embarrassment as he bows slightly showing apologetically manner. As the teacher leaves, he quickly shoving his stuffs into the bag and heads out of the class as well.

As he’s walking out, he contemplates whether to go to the practice room. On one hand, he wants to go and see if the guys are there or maybe Sunggyu is there; on the other, he should not be concern about the latter at all.

 

At the end, he finds himself walking to the practice room.

 

I will hate myself for this…

 

He pushes the door handle as he arrived in front of the room. It wouldn’t crack open.

It’s locked.

Woohyun hits himself in the head at his stupidity as he realized he does not have the key neither the one of the guys’ phone number.

Except Kim Sunggyu’s.

He sighed and slide down on the floor with his back against the door. He looks at the silent hallway in hope someone would suddenly appear.

But

Silent…

 

30 minutes had passed when his phone vibrates slightly, indicating a message. He pulls it up and see a text from Junsu.

Junsu: Where are you? Wanna hang out after?

His body cringes a bit at the word “hangout”, remembering the experience last time.

Woohyun: Nah. I’ve got work today.

He shortly typed the response and get up as it looks like no one is going to come.

 

---

 

Friday comes quick, and Woohyun still hasn’t seen any sight of that familiar caramel head around the campus.

It’s like for the whole week now. He should be happy that the guy is no longer around him but he cannot ignore that strange feeling to wanting to see that certain caramel head in class or at lunch. Woohyun doesn’t know if he just wants to make sure the guy is okay or what.

 

Pff…Why would I even care if he’s not?

 

He currently finds himself in front of the familiar room. It’s been locked for two days now and there is no shadow of Hoya, Dongwoo or that big eye Lee Sungyeol.

“Hey Woohyun”

Woohyun whirls his head to look at the source of the voice. His eye brighten as he sees Hoya and Dongwoo is walking in his way.

“Finally” Woohyun mutters with a grin as he cannot hide the joy to see these guys finally show up.

“What were you whispering about?” Hoya asked as he pulling the piece of metal to unlock the door.

“No no, nothing” Woohyun answered, obviously trying to cover up his joy. Seeing only Hoya and Dongwoo, his eyes start to wander at the hallway. Hoya can sense that he’s looking for a certain person.

“Are you looking for Sunggyu Hyung?” Hoya challenged the apparently unsettled Woohyun as they step in the room.

“Uhh.. No” he quickly denied even though it comes out so obvious.  

Hoya’s lip curves up in a sly smirk before answering. “He’s sick, cannot come”.

Woohyun hums in response, wanting to appear not interested though his mind is already battle the information he just got.

He’s Sick? What happened?

How is he now?

Will he be okay?

He wants to ask those questions but it never escapes his mouth.

As the guys start dancing, Woohyun decided to go along with them. Probably music will heal him for a while.

 

Few hours later, their bodies are covered in sweat and decide to call it a day.

“Let’s go eat!” Dongwoo shouted as he claps his hand together.

“Woohyun, you are coming?” Hoya asked before gulping down the water.

“For sure!” Woohyun replied with a smile.

 

Just like that the three guys walks out of the school gate with direction to Dongwoo’s favorite bbq place. As they get a little further, Woohyun feels the vibration in his trouser pocket. He pulls his phone out and answered it.  

“Oh Junsu ah”

“Hey Woohyunnie, didn’t see you reply my text today”

“Oh, Sorry. I was busy”

“Nah, it’s okay. Are you busy now?”

“Yeah, Kinda” Woohyun answered while looking at his two friends who is now standing, waiting for him.

“Look to your left” he is confused by the reply but as he turns to his left, he sees Junsu standing there against his car.

 “Oh Junsu”  Woohyun gasps out before looking back and forth between Dongwoo and Hoya and Junsu, who is walking closer to them.

“It’s Friday night so I figure we should be on a date?” the approaching guy suggested along with a sly smile.

It took Woohyun by surprise at the sudden suggestion.

“A date? I thought we are f-“

At Junsu’s eye signal does he realize the “plan” thing that is going on between them.

He turns to the guys and indeed he wants to go with Dongwoo and Hoya instead of Junsu but that only makes this fake relationship he is creating unreal.

“Dongwoo, Hoya, You guys can go first. I’ll be going with Junsu”

Hearing the words, Hoya raised an eyebrow as if to ask him are you sure?

“See you on Monday” Woohyun said, waving his hand to them and walk away with Junsu.

The two guys look at each other, feeling worry at the scene. Just as the car is leaving, Hoya pulls his phone to text someone.

 

-----

 

Sunggyu is laying lifelessly on his bed, when his phone vibrates. He turns to stare at it for a while before picking up to see what it is.

Hoya: How are you, hyung?

Hoya: Woohyun went with Junsu again.

Sunggyu’s eyes narrow at the second message.  He swiped left to call the sender.

After a few beep, the other line is picked up.

“Oh hyung”

“Hey, Hoya, where did they go?”

“Don’t know. Just he’s got in the car with Junsu”

“You know Woohyun’s house, right?”

“oh yeah… Been there once”

“Tell me the address”

 

---

Sunggyu sits restlessly in his car for hours, waiting in front of Woohyun’s house. He bits his lip, feeling unease as the digital clock flashes 10:12. In fact, it’s a bit late now, his mind wonders where they would be.

Just as he about to pick up his phone and calls, a familiar car pulls over in front of the house.

The familiar dark hair guy get out of the passenger seat and walks around the car to get in the house, but not before stopping to talk to the driver.

He sees the driver lean in to kiss the guy’s cheek and the shed of red appears on the latter’s face. He doesn’t know if it’s from the freezing weather or the dark hair guy is blushing. He hopes it’s the former.

Nonetheless, the sight triggered familiar pain in his left chest.

 

Is he really losing Woohyun to someone else?

 

With another heavy sigh, Sunggyu murmurs into nothing.

 

Woohyun ah, Please look at me again.

 

 

---------

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is a bitshort and a bit lame as well hahaha but I’m stuck so here you go! 

 

Thank you all my 71 subscriber and esp those who left comments! You all keep the spirit for me to keep writing this! I’m very busy with work so cannot really update that fast (sorry)

 

anw, the last expression is more of korean expression than English one lol so it sounds a bit lame. In korean, that term used to express the feeling of wanting the person you Love noticed you... so when I wrote their conversation, a lot of korean sentence comes to me so I can’t help it lol 

 

you can look look it up. I put it as the title lol

 

till next time.