||Chapter 6||

Jeonghan paces back and forth at the pool terrace of their house. Once in a while he sits on the pool lounge chair before he stands up again and continue walks back and forth. Since this evening he's waiting for the time he can talk to Mingyu, however till now he still unsure whether Mingyu will come home or not. He takes a look at his watch for the nth time. It shows 10.40 pm, he's already been here since 10 pm after confirming the time Mingyu's last schedule with Mingyu's assistant and it just only 5 minutes passed from the last time he checked the time. He sighs. Jeonghan changes his mind by going upstairs to monitor the car porches from the balcony. He still back and forth there for almost half an hour and finally Mingyu's car comes inside makes him immediately moves toward their bedroom.

Jeonghan anxiously sitting on the armchair waits for Mingyu to come inside. Suddenly the door is being opened and Jeonghan automatically gets up from the chair. He could see Mingyu just give him a cold glance before puts his briefcase inside the wardrobe and takes off the tie from his neck. Jeonghan slowly walks toward Mingyu and he calls his husband's name softly. He's relieved when Mingyu didn't ignoring him by turns his body to face him.

"Mingyu, I'm sorry... I'm really sorry, I--I just shocked when I saw you was holding that picture, and I'm sorry I made your hand like this, I didn't mean to hurt you," apologized Jeonghan, he tries to reach for Mingyu's injured hand but Mingyu quickly pulls his hand away, "I was trained as a bodyguard, I've experienced more than this," said Mingyu flatly, he stays expresionless. 

"Mingyu, I was confused, you treats me well, you seems want to stay beside me and I really didn't know what should I do with you and when I saw you hold it, I feel like you wanted to throw away the picture, wanted me to forget Wonho and all the memories so you can replace him to stay by my side," explained Jeonghan.

Mingyu looks Jeonghan straight in his eyes. He knows Jeonghan is sorry but he still could not erase the hurt feelings he feels right now.

"I know I just the replacement for the beginning but I never want to replace Wonho's place in your heart or even by your side, I just want to be someone you can lean on when you have nobody to, I still know where is my place Jeonghan, I'm not the same level with you and Wonho, I realize it and I never forget about that, so you don't need to worry about that and if you think I really need to go away from your life right now, okay let's do it properly," said Mingyu, he already thought it over, maybe this is the only way for them to live comfortably without hurting each other since the main purpose of their marriage was for Jeonghan's father. 

Jeonghan rushes and grabs Mingyu's arm, he hugs Mingyu on his waist tightly, does not want to let Mingyu go away and what happened last night to be repeated.

"I'm sorry, I know I was wrong, it's all my fault, I'm sorry... the truth is-- I--I already started to like you, I was confused, I was mad when my feeling started changing towards you and I was scared when I realize I started looking for you everytime and everywhere and that made me think I've betrayed Wonho that is why I mad, I mad at myself actually, but I vented it out to you, I'm sorry Mingyu"

"I love you Jeonghan but honestly I never hope you to return my feeling because I know how much you love Wonho and I know who I am but... at least can't you think what might I feel if you say something like that?" Mingyu takes a deep breath and exhales it, "I'm also a normal person, it really hurts me to hear that from you when I thought you already accept me as your companion even though I know you never see me as your husband cause I know you never wish for our marriage to last forever... So, when the time come just tell me you want me out from your life, I will go but at least for the time being I hope we can live without giving pain to each other," said Mingyu.

Jeonghan tightens his arms on Mingyu's waist, he knows this time he is already went overlimit, Mingyu is really hurt. 

"I'm sorry... I'm really sorry... I shouldn't said that, I'm sorry, please forgive me, I'm sorry," Jeonghan keeps apologizing. 

Mingyu could heard the changes in Jeonghan's voice, slowly he drapes his arms around Jeonghan's waist. He's still hurts but it hurts him more to see Jeonghan almost cried regretting his all doing and he really couldn't ignore Jeonghan's sincere apology. He is someone who had been taught to forgive when being asked and to be thankful when receive the help. 

"I'm sorry," Jeonghan says it again.

"Let's forget about this and go to sleep, I know you are tired right? me too," said Mingyu softly, slowly releases his hold after they stayed like that for a while. 

Jeonghan nods slowly, also loosen his arms around Mingyu's waist. He feels relief after Mingyu caressed his face gently and smiled at him. He hugs Mingyu once again before he lets Mingyu go to clean himself.

The truth is the idea of divorce and separation is already left Jeonghan's mind quite a while and it had been replaced by the idea of them being together but Jeonghan who was still in confuse state tried to deny all the idea which came into his mind. However yesterday's incident made Jeonghan opens his eyes wide and see the real score between them. He also admitted to himself he's already too attached to Mingyu's presence. With the disappearance of Mingyu last night, it became the lonely and unsecured night for Jeonghan. Since Mingyu moved in, even though they just sharing the bed, Mingyu gives him the security vibe only by his presence, also as a companion when he was lonely and sad. 

"Mingyu~~ you won't spend your night outside anymore right?" asked Jeonghan when they two already lying on the bed after Mingyu took a shower. 

Mingyu hums the answer while smiles. Jeonghan puts away the bolster which become their border since they started sharing the bed. He moves closer to Mingyu and puts his arm around Mingyu's torso. 

"Jeonghan?" Mingyu shocked since they've promised they won't go beyond the border.  

"I want to sleep like this starting today. I don't want you to sleep anywhere else, if you really need to sleep anywhere else, bring me with you," said Jeonghan, tightens his hold around Mingyu.

"Since when you become so clingy?" Mingyu smiles.

"Since you slept outside last night, I know I deserved to be left alone but I really can't sleep when you were not here beside me," revealed Jeonghan.

"Jeonghan-ah, if you being like this I don't know how long I can hold in," whispered Mingyu. 

"What?" queried Jeonghan.

Mingyu chuckles, "Nothing, just sleep," Mingyu pulls Jeonghan by his shoulder and pats him gently as he lulls a baby to sleep.

Jeonghan snuggles up against Mingyu, "If you can't hold in, then just let it out," Jeonghan's voice is muffled on Mingyu's chest.

"Mmm?" It's Mingyu's turn to ask.

"Good night Mingyu," said Jeonghan, smiles.

"Good night, sweet dream," replied Mingyu. 

________________

"Mingyu, come here," called Jeonghan, pats the bed.

Mingyu who just came out from the shower after came back from the office, walks straightly toward Jeonghan and takes a place in front of him on their bed.