♦ A/N: Please always take note of the date, it's really important and also to avoid any confusion of the timeline. Happy reading! ^^ ♦

→ APRIL 13, 2018 - FRIDAY

Renjun didn't believe it was possible until it happened. But, he reckons that he started seeing Jaemin differently during their first year in high school. 

It was actually the worst possible day to find someone attractive. It was on his birthday and he just lost his grandmother due to a heart attack. He remembered he was gloomy all throughout day. He avoided having conversation with anyone both including his friends and family. His grandma meant a lot to him; she was a warm person who raised him and provided even better parenting than his actual parents. Stricken by the sudden loss, he remained quiet as a rock - not even entertaining their guests who came to pay their respects - and just staring soundlessly at his grandmother's casket. 

But somehow, on that day, Jaemin got to him.

→ MARCH 23, 2014 - THE PAST

After the call from his father through the phone, the fourteen year old Huang Renjun marches straight to his room. As soon as he enters his private quarters, he locks the door, jumps forward to his bed, and covered himself up with his blanket. The message of his father was ringing in his ears almost close to making him deaf. 

She didn't make it.  His father beckoned sternly over the phone and Renjun does not need to hear anymore details of her death. Just those words alone are enough to tear him apart. 

It was when he finally felt it - the tears. He's been holding it back profusely since after her grandmother didn't wake up despite their countless effort in doing so. When they took her to the ambulance, he didn't even went in. He fears the reality that he'll soon face.  

He grips on the cotton texture of his blanket tightly as he forces those tears inside once more. There'll be no tears coming out tonight. He tells himself. And soon enough, he still manages to fight it off.

Of all the days that she has to die, why must it be on his birthday?

→ MARCH 28, 2014 - THE PAST

The funeral service is much worse. People he barely even knew flooded their house wearing western black clothing and giving out half-meant condolences. "I'm sorry for your loss", "She was a great woman", "I know how you feel", are the topmost overly used words that he often hears as they exit the mourning room. It was all too cliche for Renjun's liking. It was like they memorized a script right before arriving here. Ultimately, he hated them all. They hardly even pay his grandmother a visit when she was still alive and of all the times that they have to, they chose her death day to do it. Pathetic.    

Renjun is still adamant on not talking to anyone. It's been five days since she passed and the redhead still hasn't utter a single word even to his friends. After the first day of the funeral service, he went straight to his room, hurling his black suit and white collar away to the side and once more hides underneath the blankets. He doesn't know how long he's been in his room. But he figures it was long enough for his mother to knocks on the door and urges him to eat dinner. "Renjun honey, you need your strength. Will you please come out?" His mother beckoned.

He remains silent hoping that it will serve as his response to his mother. Soon enough, the shadowy appearance from the doorsill shifted and finally his mother's gone. He's really not feeling it today - not even starvation rattles his repulsiveness.

Barely even a minute after, he started hearing footsteps again coming towards his room. It was his mother once more and he rolls his eyes as she knocks like the last time and says, "Hey, your friend Jaemin's here. Would you like to see him?"

I don't want to see nor to talk to anyone at the moment! Why can't anyone understand that?! Renjun screams out internally. He's starting to get annoyed with the people around him. He doesn't want to get comforted by anyone. He needs to do this alone amd prepares himself for the days to come. He's placing himself in a simulation wherein his beloved grandmother is no longer there. This will serve as his practice to go through day by day without her. He was hoping at least someone would get that. 

His mother just lets out a sigh and just like before she leaves without hearing any response from him. The redhead exhales quietly on his bed as he finally gets the silence that he needs. He rolls in a supine position, then stares at the ceiling filled with luminiscent stickers of moons, stars, and other planets. It was his grandmother who placed it there, hoping that his dreams will take him far away in some unknown universe where he's having an exciting adventure.

He sighs once more upon remembering that. His room is filled with stuff that reminds him so much of her. Even his hair color. He touches a strand of his hair then plucks one from his head. As silly as it seems, he always wanted to be the red ranger from the power rangers. When he was a kid, he told his grandma about it and to his surprise she wanted to turn him into one but sadly they couldn't find a red helmet to make him look like the red ranger. So, without giving it much of a thought, his grandma dyed his hair red and ever since then he has sticked to that color. It earned a huge protest from his parents of course. but being the more superior one, his grandma made his parents to let him off. Granny Jojo fulfilled one of his many wishes as a child and he was so happy.

But now...she's gone. And who else would be willing to give him happiness without him demanding for it?  

Upon that realization, the tears that he was resolutely holding back were suddenly accumulating on his lower eyelids. He can feel the heaviness of it. As if they were waiting for his command to go down. No, no, no! He yelled at himself while straining his eyes, even giving it a light slap just to push them back.

Then, suddenly he heard a ruckus outside his window. He props up from laying down and slowly takes a peek at the source of the sound. And he was right, it was indeed coming from outside. The branches from the walnut trees adjacent to his window were shaking as if someone is climbing up. He didn't have the courage to check who it was. What if it was a burglar? So, he just went back to bed, blankets himself up, and pretends he was sleeping.

Yet the shuffling noises from the trees continue and it wasn't when he heard a loud thud from the walls when he decided to make a run for it. 

He gets from his bed with speed, does a double take to the window, and was surprised upon recognizing the very familiar figure. "Jaemin?" He motioned as he was about to exit his room.

"Hey." The fourteen year old, pretty boy Na Jaemin uttered. "Um...can I get some help?" 

Renjun immediately rushes towards his friend and opens the windows for him. It was then that he realized what Jaemin's been struggling about - his feet got caught up in one of the branches. He helps him by pulling him inside but Jaemin suddenly stops him. "Wait a sec, get this inside first." The pretty boy said as he heaves a rather huge pillow, throwing it inside the room which surprises Renjun a lot.

"What the ? What is this for?" Renjun asked disturbingly.

Jaemin was pulling and shaking his feet off the branch as he says, "Well, I can't sleep without my favorite pillow." With a huge grunt, he finally able to untangles himself from the branches then Renjun moves away as the pretty boy stumbles inside through the window. Jaemin looks like a mess, all sweaty and his clothes were disheveled including his hair. But he still manages to plaster a big smile on his face. "That took a while huh?"

Renjun clears his throat loudly. "Who says you can sleep here?" He was infuriated.

Jaemin lets out a sigh. "Okay...I know you don't need anyone's company right now -"

"You're right! I don't know!" Renjun immediately interjects then prances back to his bed maddeningly. He hides beneath his blanket once more, even sealing the edges tightly in case Jaemin tries to get in with him.

"You're mad, I can see that, but...you're not suppose to go through this alone." There it goes again. Why must everyone has to say that? 

Since he's underneath the blankets, Renjun failed to noticed that Jaemin gets up from the floor and fixes himself up then slowly and quite carefully rests into bed with him. It was when the cushion lowers from the latter's weight that Renjun feels Jaemin's presence beside him and so he turns to the other direction, still hating the fact that Jaemin doesn't understand him.

Beside him, he heard Jaemin clearing his throat rather tentatively. "As much as I feel bad for you, but really, I do..." The pretty boy begins. "I also feel bad about the people who got to taste your mom's cooking. I mean, come on, don't tell me that beef soup doesn't look like baby's poop." Renjun's irritation rises tenfold. Is that suppose to make him feel okay? Really? Insulting his mother's cooking?

A momentary silence comes after that and Jaemin did not utter a single word. The only thing that Renjun can hear from the pretty boy beside him is his steady breathing. Renjun figures he was probably thinking deeply what he's supposed to say but really, he prefers it if he just remains quiet. But he was deemed wrong when Jaemin suddenly speaks out, "My favorite memory of Granny Jojo was when we went with her to the vet..." Jaemin begins, already cracking up upon remembering the funny story. "...to get Momo his monthly check up and she haha..." Jaemin giggles and tries to cup it using his hands, finding a hard time to finish his sentence and Renjun can't help it either as he too quietly chuckles inside the blankets knowing the details all too well. "...she forgot to bring the dog HAHA. I mean...who forgets to bring their dog when they go to the vet, oh my jesus!" And Jaemin's laughter volumes up and that was when Renjun finally gets out of the covers and joins him with the laughter. 

"And we didn't noticed it either! HAHA!" Renjun added and the two laugh like crazy, already grabbing their bellies as it's already aching from too much humor.

It got louder and louder until tears started coming out from Renjun's eyes and in a flash he was actually crying. Jaemin takes this as his chance to embrace him and allowed him to release the pain that he was holding since he found out that she was gone. The redhead's tears came in like a waterfall accompanied by his loud screech of torment.

Granny Jojo was indeed a great lost. He promised her one day that she'll be able to watch him on tv playing in the pro leagues and representing their country through soccer. What will happen to that promise?

"She-she's not su...ppose to die...she's not suppose to die!" Jaemin tries to shush him. "Who will watch me play soccer now?" He beckons as he continues to sob while thrashing his hand over the covers. 

"I will!" Jaemin said, which surprises Renjun a lot. "I'll hold out a HUGE banner of your name during your games and I will force the others - Mark, Jisung, and Donghyuck - to bring out war drums, yeah, so that you will know where to find us when you needed that extra boost. We are here for you. I promise you that!" Jaemin finished and continues to ruffle his hair calmly. Renjun cried his heart out all night until he didn't have enough energy left and ultimately he passed out.

He woke up thanks to Jaemin's extremely loud snoring. It was half past three and he feels his face drench in tears. He gets up into a sitting position, wiping out the trail of tears that he created moments earlier. He turns his attention over the sleeping beauty beside him and laughs at just how his mouth gets wide everytime he releases a snore. Now, that's something he doesn't see often.

He cannot believe it. He let someone in at the most painful day of his life. And it was such a gallant effort on Jaemin's part, even risking his life by climbing up a two-storey house using the thinning branches of an oak tree. "I can't believe you even brought your favorite pillow with you." He said smilingly as he leered over the sleeping figure of Jaemin. 

He reaches out tentatively to the latter's hair, its smooth surface tickling him in the inside. And as he stares at the sleeping Jaemin, somehow he becomes unconditionally bound to him. Like he was being gravitationally pulled towards him, accompanied with an indescribable glowing heat seering inside. And in that moment, everything in his life - even his recent lost - becomes secondary,