~

I spent the next week in a routine fashion, I would wake up, have breakfast when I had the time, attend my lectures and meetings, work at the restaurant, go back home and study some more for the test. I hadn’t noticed the time go by, but with my newly established schedule vacancy where basketball training should have been taking place, I was at liberty to spend more time studying and sleeping.

After the test today, I was feeling good. Apart from a few questions that threw me off, I was pretty confident that I had aced it. Studying had brought me this far, it sure as hell was not going to leave me hanging in my most crucial year.

The class was split into two rooms for the test earlier and I was in a separate one to So-Hee. I felt a little relieved, because it meant that I wouldn’t have to have more awkward experiences after last week.

It was interesting, because I wasn’t going out of my way to purposely avoid her, it just turned out that way. On mornings where we would usually bump into each other outside our dorms on the way to class, she was nowhere to be found. I could have been overthinking things considering that she also had to study for the test.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t mind taking a few days off from being the mediator slash punch bag. It really is as exhausting as it sounds, but I still love her, so I’ll resolve things soon enough.

As soon as I left the hall, I made my way to meet Myung-Soo, Ji-Soo and Bo-Ra for their promised meal. The streets were bustling with people as I tried to fight through the sea of bodies, bobbing and weaving my way out of the subway and out into the city. I would always expect there to be more breathing space when I got out, but I was still greeted with more people and more polluted air. The location of the restaurant was directly in town and quicker to get to by the underground, so I had no other choice but to take it.

I was the last to arrive at the restaurant and I rushed in to join Bo-Ra and Myung-Soo on the floor. I would love to say that I ran here because I was late, but that would be a lie. Hungry is not a sufficient word to describe the panging in my stomach right now.

This was the first time I was seeing Bo-Ra since that morning last week, being busy with preparing for the test I didn’t have the opportunity to do so. She would message me to try and test whether I knew what she thought I knew she had said. I feigned ignorance though.

I wasn’t planning on telling her what I heard them talking about in the changing rooms nor would I bring up my knowledge of her having spilled the beans to So-Hee about my feelings.

The milk was already spilt, trying to gather any of the remnants wasn’t going to do anything else but create more mess.

I felt warm at the sight of the food that they had already ordered. When I greeted her as normal, I could sense a wave of ease come over her and she started to act more like her.

Like nothing had even happened. 

I couldn’t help but question the status of our friendship, and whether she seemed to value her relationship with So-Hee more than our own to the extent that she would talk about me behind my back. Although I didn’t put much blame on either of the girls, I would be lying if I said that it didn’t hurt to have them discuss my feelings for Seung-Ho in a laughable manner.

Even I looked pathetic in my own eyes, why wouldn’t they think so too?

“Where’s Ji-Soo?” I asked, noticing his absence.

“He’s still got rehearsals, but he said he’s on his way.” Myung-Soo answered me.

“Hyun-ah, don’t forget we have the board meeting for Journalism next week.” Bo-Ra reminded me, and I shut my eyes at the reminder.

Journalism.

The enthusiasm that I had in first year made me join a couple of different things and it’s coming back to bite me in the backside. Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed it, it just took a lot of time and effort and brainstorming for new ideas or concepts.

“Are you guys still in that Journalism thing?” Myung-Soo perked, and I nodded, blowing the steam away from my buns.

The hot buns in Seoul were mundane compared to the ones we had in Busan, but they were still delicious. We all lived in Busan before coming up to Seoul for University. Bo-Ra was the only one who refused to use her Seoul dialect outside of school, so hers was probably the strongest when she really wanted it to be. The only reason why we didn’t really adhere to the usage was because the rest of our parents weren’t from the countryside and so we were taught to follow their way of speaking.

Busan was a big place, and because we were all dotted around the city we couldn’t just walk to each other’s houses, so we chose different locations as our hang-out spots. One of my favourite places to meet up was at Old Jung’s buns store. His stuffed buns were heavenly.

I once asked him how he could get his buns so chewy yet packed with flavour, but he wouldn’t give me a straight answer. He’d only said he’d be willing to share his secret if I was willing to work for him and take over his store when I grew up – Mr Jung, didn’t have any heirs nor was he married so the store was his and his alone.

I had considered his very offer, and even told him that I’ll be back after I graduate to think about it some more. Of course, we were joking, but the sincerity was there.

No, I need to stop thinking about it. The more I thought about the succulent spices of stuffed chicken and vegetables, the more I’d be put off the one in front of me and I can’t let that happen. I was paying for it after all.

“Two years going strong.” Bo-Ra chimed, and we made eye-contact knowingly.

“They’re going to want us to come up with more ideas for the paper don’t you think?” I asked, finally taking a bite. Bo-Ra nodded at me, already full. “Any ideas?”

Bo-Ra shook her head and hushed me so that she could focus on her food. I agreed silently. What else better than food to nurture our minds and produce fresh ideas?

When I eat I don’t particularly think of anything, I simply just eat and focus on my food. I’m hoping that the ideas will actually come after I’ve devoured my steamed buns. Not paying attention to my surroundings, I didn’t find it any different when the door rung with the entrance of new customers.

That was until the other two’s chewing sounds had grown a little too quiet and I looked up suspiciously from my bowl to find Myung-Soo’s eyes drifting between the entrance and me. Bo-Ra was biting her lips guiltily again.

I swung my head to the entrance where I saw So-Hee standing by the door and quite awkwardly might I add. A lightbulb went off in my head and I internally sighed.

They did it again.

We never really liked it when either of us had a falling out because it would make everything uncomfortable. When it came to me though, it seemed like the others would do all that they could to help me patch things up with whoever I had fallen out with. Including making impromptu invitations to dinners that I was paying for.

I turned back to the two culprits, reading their faces. I could see that they were being extra sensitive and careful with me, as if they expected me to scream for So-Hee to get out or something. I’ve never done that, and I probably never will. They’ve always seen me as the silent angry type in that I don’t say much but when I’m really upset I would blow up like a volcano.

That was partly true, but I didn’t make it a habit. I tried not to harbour negative feelings for as long as possible and with what happened last week I didn’t think this was worth it any longer. I meant it when I said I was planning to sort things out soon.

I looked back to So-Hee who was still standing there and flashed her a smile. “What are you doing just standing there? Come have some!”

I could see her visibly relax and the small sighs that I could hear from the side also told me that the other two were relieved. I turned to them with a smile still on my face and as expected they were a little surprised at my actions. Myung-Soo’s lips curved up a little and I stuck my tongue out to him at which he grinned even wider.

This was how it went. I would always do the right thing, well what I thought was the right thing, and give in. So-Hee wouldn’t say sorry first and I hadn’t expected her to, the very fact that she made an appearance tonight was enough to let me know that she felt an ounce of regret.

That’s what I liked to think anyway.

We didn’t exchange many words that night and it wasn’t far from what I expected. There was this unsettling feeling rising from within and I couldn’t blame her really.

I did have a thing for her boyfriend at the end of the day.

~

As soon as my shift at Halmeoni’s ended, I made my way home. Today was a Saturday and Halmeoni closed earlier than usual for my sake. She usually did so from time to time, because she knew that as a student I couldn’t be free at all hours and I was openly grateful for it.

The second I got to my dorm I allowed myself a thirty-minute (turned into an hour) nap and woke up so that I could get on with reading for my assignments.

That was a terrible idea though, because it only meant that I felt groggy and too tired to even do anything, but I couldn’t let it stop me. Although I was struggling, I was managing to get through some material and actually understand it.

There was a sudden knock on my door, it was so sudden that I got scared and because it hadn’t been long since I got up, I could feel my heart rate increasing. I checked the time on my alarm clock, it was only 8pm, but I most definitely wasn’t expecting anyone this evening.

As I opened the door, my eyes widened in surprise at the figure in front of my door. “Oh? What are you doing he