~

As soon as Youngjae Oppa opened the door, I was met with a resounding blast of All I want for Christmas by Mariah Carey and it wouldn’t have taken a genius to guess who was in charge of the music today.

For a slight second I really considered going home, but Oppa pulled me inside before I could follow through with that thought.

“Could we maybe change this song to, I don’t know, anything else but this?” I whispered, handing Oppa his present.

He chuckled as he took the bag from my hand, “I know, it's a genuine problem".” He almost looked as pained as I felt. “Hyung has a thing for Mariah Carey I guess.”

Really? I couldn’t tell.

“Thank you for this by the way, I won’t open it till later.”  He jiggled the bag a little.

I responded with a proud grin, because I knew he would love the pair of premium Nike trainers I got him. Not that it was anything special, but because he’d been wanting them, oh-so coincidently for the past month. The fact that he’d been repeating that he wanted said trainers to my hearing for the past month was also a coincidence - of course.

I followed him through the corridor and into the living room where I expected to find Boss and Soo but did not. I scanned the space, assessing their attempt to create a festive mood. By attempt I mean they had balloons everywhere and tinsel strewn in random places.

But hey, at least the Christmas tree was standing upright.

“Where’s Myung-Soo? I thought he’d be here by now.” I asked, glancing at the clock.

“He is, well was. He walked in, commented on how we didn’t do a good job with the decorating and proceeded to be shocked by how much food there is.” I nodded my head agreeably, just by looking at the centre piece, there was a lot of food just for the four us. “He packed a few things and said he was going to the homeless shelter a few blocks down to share with them and Hyung offered to go with him. They just left, I figured you saw them.”

I smiled, Myung-Soo and his thoughtfulness never ceased to amaze me.

“That smile of yours, you’re thinking about lovey-dovey Myung-Soo aren’t you?” Oppa asked, shuddering as he did so.

I bit my lip catching myself. It had been only a few weeks since Myung-Soo and I told Oppa the situation we had going on and to say that he was surprised would be an understatement, but it wasn’t in the way I would’ve thought. It turned out that Oppa knew about Myung-Soo’s feelings for me long before I did, so once he heard that we had taken things a step further, he couldn’t contain his excitement.

I didn’t know how to react at first, but knowing he supported us made me happy.  

“And what if I was?” I quipped.

“If you were my dear dongsaeng,” He spoke as he shuffled closer to the record cabinet, “Then they better be pure thoughts.”

I blinked, failing to hide my blush in response to his random assertion. “I…”

“Gosh, I was joking Hyun-ah, were you really?!” He laughed and I picked up a cushion from the couch, aiming it at him.

“Are you going to keep teasing me?” I threatened with another cushion held in the air ready to throw.

“Hey, I haven't seen you as often these days, I think I’m entitled to a little teasing.” He reasoned and I lowered my arm with the cushion still in my clutches, unable to not laugh myself. “In all seriousness,” Oppa continued. “Are you happy? Does he make you happy?”

I didn’t need to think about the answer to that question, because it was yes. Myung-Soo made me happy, in ways that I wouldn’t have ever thought possible.

“He does.” I said softly, hugging a cushion to my chest.

“Then that’s good, I don’t have to beat anyone up.” He ruffled my hair and waved an MJ cassette in front of my face. “Right, so should we mix the music up a bit?”

“Yes please.”

The evening went by with Myung-Soo and Boss returning and a series of tunes that did not consist of the words ‘All I want’ in it on full blast. The gathering was going nicely, it was simple like I liked. No extravaganza or anything, just the presence of the people I was close with.

Minus Boss.

Okay that might be a bit harsh, we weren’t complete strangers but we weren’t exactly BFFs. I hoped to change that tonight simply because he’s my boss and not at all because I planned to ask him for annual leave to fly back home for Bo-Ra’s wedding next week.

No ulterior motives whatsoever.

I had given attending the wedding a lot of thought, and call it weird but I even weighed up the pros and cons. A part of me was apprehensive because Bo-Ra didn’t actually invite me, although I wasn't surprised considering how we left things in an unstable state. On the other hand an even bigger part of me wanted to move on and just send Bo-Ra off into her new life without either of us pondering over the scars we received.

Hopefully she would see it that way too.

I drew myself out of my thoughts and back into the game of charades we were playing, not really knowing what body position Boss was trying to make. He was on the floor looking like a fish out of water.

“Free Willy!!” Oppa shouted and Boss shot up excitedly.

“Finally!” He screamed.

Ah, that would explain the fish resemblance then.

“How about we play Monopoly this time?” Boss suddenly offered and the three of us silently gave each other knowing looks. A few years ago, we’d donated the game to a charity and made a pact to never play another round of Monopoly due to a fight that almost broke out between the families.

That game was dangerous. Very, very dangerous.

Instead of risking severing ties and possibly broken teeth, I opted for making everyone crowns of tinsel as we all took turns in taking silly photos. This was by far better than the Christmas alone last year and although a part of me was sad that I couldn’t spend it with my parents, spending it with important people turned that around.

These were the kinds of memories that I knew would stay with me for years to come.

Feeling slightly famished, I stepped into the kitchen and like promised there were boxes of deep-pan pizzas ready to be devoured. I had refrained from eating the whole day just so I could get as many bites of doughy heaven as humanly possible.

I went to pick up the most delectable pizza of all time, when a voice prevented me from doing so.

“You’re an abomination!”

I jumped back, startled at the sudden sound. I turned around to find Boss staring at me with what I could only place as uttermost disgust.

“E-excuse me?” I held one hand to my chest as the other had a tight grip on a limp pizza.

“That thing in your hand.” He pointed at my pizza, “It has pineapples on it? I thought Youngjae was bluffing when he was ordering it, but I’m seeing it with my very own eyes… I’m going to have to reconsider this partnership of ours.”

I stepped back offended by the insult to my favourite pizza topping. I looked him directly in the eye and took a huge bite of my pizza, making sure to chew slowly and swallow gratifyingly.

“First of all, pineapple on pizza is one of the best things to have happened to the pizza world alright? And secondly, don’t be so dramatic that’s Oppa’s thing.”

He studied me for a few seconds, likely letting my reference to Oppa settle in.

“You’re right, that’s much more his thing.” He relented, “But I’m still surprised.”

“To think a piece of fruit on a pizza is what it takes to cut ties with you.”

“What can I say, I’m a man with important values.” He winked as he slid towards the fridge and I shook my head strangely amused by his outburst.

With my pizza in hand I sat on the nearest stool, noticing a pile of newspapers and magazines on the surface top.

I had been updating myself on the news back home as often as I could, by reading thought the international section when I had the chance. Just because we were out of the country didn’t mean we needed to stay out of touch from things. I checked out the Japanese sites from time to time, mainly the finance section to see if there would be any mention of my father.

If he wasn’t going to update me on his well-being, the news would have to suffice.

As I flicked through the L.A Times blandly, my eyes caught sight of a headline that immediately sent my heart sinking.

“Korean war-men found dead after tanked spy attempt – The failed Battle of Yeosu!”

I gulped.

The moist bite of pizza in my mouth, journeyed its way down my throat forcibly.

The political and military stance in South Korea was not one that I was invested in, but even for people like me who did not actively seek out news of it, the disparity between the North and South was common knowledge.

It had been ingrained in us from young.

In the past I had no personal affiliation with anything pertaining to the military, and as bad as it is to say, I didn’t want to have one.

That being said, my thoughts couldn’t help but land on Seung-Ho.

Having moved on from the past did not mean that I lost all compassion and care for him, memories of a lifetime friendship didn’t just disappear with a heartbreak and a 16-hour flight across the world.

It just doesn’t work that way, not even if you willed it to.

I briskly whisked my eyes through the article looking for any information on any casualties but I could only gather the bare minimum. For a news report, they didn’t really do a good job at actually reporting. ‘Four navy men found dead in torrent between the North and the South’ – how telling. Nothing on which side the men were on, how any of this happened, simply an article written to mock the current political climate of Korea. There was even a caricature at the bottom to top it off.

I found myself trying to control the thundering of my chest by swallowing down my saliva, but my mouth ran dry. All I wished for was that he was okay.

Not that I wanted anyone dead, but the only thing that seemed to ring in m