(GIF from moonlightsdream on Tumblr) 

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It felt like we'd been waiting forever. No one was allowed into the labour room but we were all made to wait outside, listening to the excruciating sounds coming from the other sides of the doors. 

Seung-Ho made all the effort to be here too, wearing his black shades and hospital gown. He was sitting opposite me and though I couldn't see his eyes, I could feel his gaze resting upon my body. 

It reminded me that we were in the middle of his confession and I felt a hot shiver run through my body. The way he confessed so earnestly, so desperately took me back to the days we were younger. If I was the So-Hyun I was back then, perhaps I would have jumped at the opportunity to be his lover but yet... things have changed.

Why does a part of me feel angry? 

Why couldn't he say any of this back then? Why now? Why when I'm in love with Soo.

I kept my eyes fixed on him and recalled every emotion like it was yesterday. I was madly in love with this man and part of me thinks that I still do love him. Perhaps I'm no longer in love with him but I love him. I wouldn't be able to deny it, but if you wanted proof hook me up to a lie detector and that'll give you more evidence. 

What would I say to him? How would I even respond?

I have Soo. My sweet and patient Myung-Soo. He's done me no wrong, he's loved me in the ways I've always wanted to be loved and more. 

My chest started to grow tighter and it became difficult to breathe. I needed air. As soon as I stood up to get some the labour room doors burst wide open with a loud cry and the wailing of a healthy baby. Bo-Ra's husband strode out with tears 'It's a boy!' 

Before I knew it, I was able to breathe again. 

'How is she?' I asked and he replied with a bright smile. Thank heavens I sighed internally. 

"You can't see her just yet but she's doing well. Both of them are." 

Collectively we all let out a sigh of relief. To think we were all uncles and aunties now. To think that SeungHo still has his sight and could see us all together. As I looked around the room, the smiles on all their faces I started to cry. 

X

After some days, we had all been taking turns to tend to Bora and Seung-Ho. 

We hadn't spoken about his confession since he did it, we managed to have conversations about everything and anything except that day. I could sense he knew I was ready to run away that day and if the labour door hadn't opened I wonder what would have happened. 

I didn't tell Soo. Not because I wanted to hide, but rather because I felt I didn't need to. Soo knew more than anyone else the dynamic we were all in and if I brought it up I would question myself. Do I keep hurting him? Each time I looked into his eyes I could see his love, I could see him working so hard to glaze over the pain he was in. The pain I've had a part in. 

"Hyun-Ah, I can hear the wheels turning in your head." Myung-Soo, held my hand tightly as we walked through the hospital canteen. "You don't have to think so hard." 

"How do you know I'm thinking?" I nudged his harm softy with my elbow. 

"I've observed you closely since we were young. I can tell when you have a lot on your mind. You're going through loops and loops of scenarios and questions right now. You're probably feeling like part of this is your fault." I slowed down for a moment and moved a little by his recognition of me. 

He turned to face me fully, placing his hands on my shoulders. "You're not at fault. None of this is your fault." 

I placed both my hands in his coat pocket, I could feel his phone in one hand and his keys in the other. I then looked at our feet. They were both facing each other, the difference in our foot sizes wildly apparent. His leather-bound shoes faced my black laced boots. 

I took a deep breath. 

"He told me he loved me," I said softly.

I peered up at him to see what kind of expression he would make but his gaze didn't change. He just gave me a small smile and suddenly I was being held softly in his embrace. Gently, he patted my back and we stood like that for a few breaths. 

"I'm sorry."

"Are you sorry because you still love him... Or are you sorry because you feel this is your fault?"

"I'm sorry because I'm confused." 

"It's okay." He whispered. 

"Are you going to ask what I'm confused about?" 

"Do you want to tell me?" He smiled, my cheeks with his warm fingers. I did want to tell him, but I also felt confused about what I was confused about. 

I'm in love with Soo. I was in love with Seung-Ho for years. Rather than.a question of who do I want to be with I was starting to see myself as the cause of all of this. "Seeing him the way he is now, it... It breaks me." I say honestly. "If I had done