Choi HaSeul

I was ready to sleep in YongGuk arms when he called out my name. I opened my eyes with difficulty. We just made love and it made me so relaxed I felt really sleepy. YongGuk was the one who initiated the kiss when we came back from our date and everything escalated very quickly.

Clothes on the floor and impatient kisses. Were we even aware of what was happening ?  It felt so natural.

“HaSeul tomorrow morning can I walk around the neighborhood ? I wake up around 5 and ...” YongGuk didn't end his sentence. He was really embarassed.

It felt so good to connect with someone on the physical level. Just our body touching. I touched his cheeks, thinking about it. Knowing he won't be here when I wake up tomorrow morning was a bit hard to swallow.

 “Do you have to go ? You can stay … with me. And it's very cold." I protested. I was being capricious.

“I don't have any control on that... I just need to walk a lot. Or else I feel as if I suffocate.” He whispered slowly, my hair.YongGuk sighed. I knew it wasn't as simple. He couldn't stop doing that just because I wanted him to.

We crossed eyes and I sighed, nodding. “No problem. Thanks for telling me, I just don't like to wake up alone without knowing where you've been. But .... I mean ... how did you cope in jail ?”

I felt his body stiffen hearing that world. “At first it really wasn't easy. I had a lot of panic attacks. The room is very small and is shared. But after a year, it was ... bearable.”

I stood up and putted back a shirt. YongGuk confused, imitated me, putting back his clothes.

“I think we need to move.” I said, mischevious. He raised an eyebrow and I giggled. I took his hand and lead him upstairs. “Maybe it could help you.” I lead him to the bedroom he first slept in. A  traditionnal bedroom, with a lot of natural light. It had even a skylight, a huge one that enabled us to stare at the stars. YongGuk smiled. "I absolutely love this bedroom."

We layed down the bed and I looked at YongGuk look at the sky thought the window, he had a little smile and looked just breathtaking.

I hugged YongGuk, and  moved a bit, making my head at his chest level. “Let me feel tiny at least in our bed.”

YongGuk chuckled lightly.  I wanted at least to make him feel at ease.

“Now only good things will happen to you. I promise.” I whispered with a small voice, kissing his bruise on his chest. I wanted him to know that he could rely on me.

"It can't be worse than jail anyways." YongGuk said with a light tone. He wanted me to laugh a bit yet I started to sobb, unable to stop my tears.

"I guees my joke wasn't that funny ... Sorry. HaSeul don't cry like this." YongGuk hugged me, patting my back. When I was all calmed down, YongGuk wiped my tears and kissed gently my forehead.

" Don't ever use such a light tone when nothing about it was fine ... I'm so relieved you are out of there." I warned him.

YongGuk nodded. "Alright, I won't, now just sleep. You need to rest."

*

Bang YongGuk

When I woke up around 6, I felt energized. My girlfriend was still sleeping soundly and I gently kissed her good morning; she turned away and I giggled. I woke up slowly and left the room.

I decided to eat breakfast before leaving and sighed. Well, the fridge was pretty much empty. I needed to buy food if I wanted to eat something this morning. I walked around the neighborhood searching for a supermarket and instead I found a little market. It was early and it was still very quiet.. I approached them and started to buy things to cook breakfast and fulfill the fridge. A fridge wasn't meant to be empty like this and given my huge appetite, I should provide for the food. I picked the basics first : kimchi, chili, meat and veggies. I ended up with a tons of bags.

The grandmas looked at me with interest. “What an handsome man like you is doing in our neighborhood ? Aigo, I have a gorgeous little niece for you.”

I had a nervous laugh. “I ... came to cook breakfast for my girlfriend.”

They shouted out of surprise and gave me more than necessary. Grandma took time to explain to me how to cook even writing it for me. I left thanking them and felt happy. They made my day. I barely interacted with people since I got released. I guessed that with my hair, I migt look like a guy released from his military service.

Talking with those women who took time to explain me how to cook the soup, what should I be doing first,  was endearing. I always tried to wake up early to walk around, I didn't like to see people around, being alone in the streets in a sleepy city just make me feel at peace. But I might admit that this morning at the market I liked how the women guided me, they geniously wanted me to cook a delicious breakfast for my girlfriend.

I came back to the house and settled down in the kitchen. It was around 7pm, I largely had time to cook until HaSeul would wake up. Starting by the kimchi stew, something simple I used to make back in the days in my student appartment.  I fried the meat and cooked the side dishes with a lot of attention. I forgot how relaxing it was to cook. Or just being alone for real. Nothing or no one would disturb me here. After I cooked, I made sure to clean the table and  pack everything in the fridge. I smiled. The fridge looked better now.

I was tasting the meat, thinking it was a bit bland when I heard a question.

“What are you doing ?”

*

Choi Haseul

I got downstairs and the scent of soup came to brush my nostrils. It smelled like food. Like delicious food being cooked. I walked to the kitchen and found a unique view. YongGuk was frying some meat,