Bang YongGuk

 I woke up and turned myself expecting to see the face of my cellmate in his bed in front of me. I sat up as I faced a white wall and felt confused. It took me some seconds to remember  yesterday events. I stared at the clock and almost gasped. It was already noon. No one woke me up. I stayed in bed for a little while and when I felt really hungry, I decided to go search for some food and Himchan. I didn't find Himchan yet kind volunteers gave me food and sat with me as I ate. They didn't ask questions, just smiling at me very warmly. I was thanksful that they didn't try to chitchat with me because I would have barely answered. Then,  I had the luxury to take a long bath with hot burning water and it was pleasant. In jail, we just showered with lukewarm water and some soap without any scent. The bodywash smelled like amber and I liked how sensorial the bath became.

When Himchan came back, he came to my room and asked me how I was feeling. It took time to realize I was out of jail, suddenly. Everything changed and I had to adapt to that. 

*

A week later

I needed some help for real, I felt wary and irritable. And Himchan sent me to a psychologist to talk about my experience my fear and anxiety.  Even with Himchan I could have excessive anger. It was hard taking care of myself alone. For a whole week I stayed there, lying around sleeping a lot. I worried a lot of people around me. The only thing was that I had a good appetite, I was eating things I didn't even know I was craving for, spicy food especially. Himchan always took me to the restaurant for dinner, looking at me eat with joy in his eyes. But I wasn't talkative about how I was feeling or if I felt okay. I was just living. When Daehyun had a free day, he asked me to spend a day with him and  I agreed. It was someone I was seeing everyday and it was weird not having him around.

I didn't speak much even if I was really happy to see him. It was also my first time seeing Daehyun in casual clothes instead of his usual uniform. We ate in a restaurant, went to do some shopping and finally sat down in a park.

" YongGuk, what about HaSeul ? She must be so happy. Have you seen each other yet ? "

I avoided his eyes. " Gosh, why would she even see me again ? " First I was a loser, just released from jail and second, I behaved horribly with her.

Daehyun looked confused. "But she worked so hard on your case, she devoted herself and ... Did you at least thank her ?   "

" I don't want to bother her. " I answered. I was of course too ashamed to admit I didn't thank her at all.

He rolled his eyes. " Anyways, let's have ice cream with me. To cheer you up ! "

We  headed to his favourite ice cream shop. Daehyun was almost dancing instead of walking. He was a big eater and always talking about food. Daehyun shook my arm as the person was ready to take our order. " Hey, what taste do you want ? "

I shrugged. " Whatever, except  chocolate. "

He sighed frustrated and gave me a cup of ice cream with different colors, like rainbow I tasted it and felt things exploding in my mouth. Daehyun bursted in laughs seeing my reaction and had to calm himself so he could explain to me. " This ice cream is called Shooting star, there's bubbling stuff inside, you know like the stuff inside lollipops. "

I nodded with a smile, amused by his childish reaction as I ate my ice cream. He stopped when a woman entered inside the ice cream shop " Ya what are you doing here ? "

A pretty woman approached him and Ifelt like I've already seen her somewhere. She sat just next to him and laughed. " You came to eat ice cream too ? " He asked him, lending her his spoon.

She ate the spoon of icecream and grinned.  " Yeah, what a surprise to find you here. Who is your friend ? "

I felt a bit shy around her and gave a look to Daehyun. " This is Bang YongGuk, I decided to invite him since he's cleared out now. YongGuk I showed you pictures of my girlfriend, right ? "

" Oh, hello. " I said, greeting her.

She clapped in her hands." Hello, I'm Jin Hee. Daehyun talked a lot about you, you're a friend that counts a lot for him. "

Daehyun blushed. " I mean I worried a lot about you too. I'm so glad you're out now, you never did anything bad. "

I nodded with an amused smile.. "Is he as talkative as he is with me ? "

Jin Hee laughed. " I can't stop him at night when he perfectly knows I need sleep. I see you two already ate most of your ice cream. I'm taking one for me, who wants to share ? "

I shook my head and looked at the couple bickering on the flavor. They looked cute doing that and they finally settled for half coconut and half vanilla. Daehyun smiled as he looked at her ordering and clapped in his hands when she came back. 

"That HaSeul volunteer she is fabulous. What she've done for you that's really devotion." Jin Hee said. I wasn't surprised. Daehyun was talkative and she must be her confident. It was normal between lovers.

I looked down into my ice cream cup. "Huh  but she must not be wanting to see me either. After what I told her." I blurted out. They looked at me with wide eyes, ready to comfort me. I added quickly. "I feel guilty for that. I'm not sure she's willing to see me and I understand her. "

Daehyun sighed, patting my shoulder. " Did you at least thank her ? She got you out of there and you treated her like she was the one who made you a inmate. Why did you hug Solji and behave badly with HaSeul ? "

" I don't hate her. That night I was just really ... I wasn't expecting that and I just vented out my anger at her. "

Daehyun took a spoonful of icecream and looked disappointed. " I feel bad for her. She did all of that and you won't even thank her. "

*

Himchan had a meeting in the association building and I was waiting for him to finish this to finally go and eat dinner with him. As the meeting ended, a lot of people went out of the room, including HaSeul. As she was heading to the elevators, Himchan asked her to comeback. They talked to each others for a long time, Himchan gently patting her shoulders and trying to cheer her up. I looked at them with surprise. Were they close ?

HaSeul finally bid goodbye to him and came next to the elevator. She was rumming though some papers and I cleared my throat. "Hi, Haseul." 

The girl raised her head and looked at me completely shocked. " Oh YongGuk, hi. "

" What are you doing here ? " I asked, curious.

HaSeul became livid. " I'm leaving. I just came to the meeting."

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