Choi HaSeul

I woke up this morning feeling really weird. Yesterday I haven't slept a lot. Just thinking about what I got myself into. Me visiting prisoners ? Gosh that ad was really convincing and like an emotional fool I called them and said I wanted to be a volunteer. I prepared myself lost in my thoughts, enough to try to pour milk over my noddles. I was really overtinking about that. 

I went to my job at the library, a bit jumpy when customers wanted to give back books or ask a question. I ate almost nothing on my plate, making my colleagues worry.

"Are you okay HaSeul ? You've been very quiet today."  I blinked a bit at Mi So  question and smiled reassuring. "It's my volunteering job that is stressing me up a bit."

JaeKyung scoffed. "Who told you to go and volunteer ? You can always says you changed your mind. After all you're giving  your time."

I thought well about what she said when I left the library and sighed. Why I really call and say I changed my mind ?

No, not after all those hours being trained to talk with these people. And those people are surely expecting to see me. I couldn't deceive them.

I took the bus to the jail and once being in front of the building, my confidence disappaered once again. I suddenly became exaspered at myself and entered. The man at the welcome board looked at me approach him without any smile.

"I'm a volunteer from FRIENDS. I have to meet with a prisonner this afternoon."

" Oh, it's been a while anyone came. " The man said. He eyed me from head to toes and smircked. " They did send us a woman. Are they aware we're a prison or not ?? "

I smiled, not letting his words having an impact on me. After all, Himchan told me the staff here didn't like when he sent female volunteer so that behavior didn't surprise me.I took time to tie my hair to look a bit more polish and looked at my usual attire. I wasn't even feminine looking. I had Mom jeans I ordered online because I'm a giant for korean standards and a baggy sweater with minimal make up. 

He sighed at my behavior and after checking my identity, gave me my badge. We crossed a lot of rooms and halls. I wouId never record of all the walk here. I really hope someone will help me to get outside. The volunteering organisation had strict rules, we didn't know anything about the person we were visiting. After that first meeting, the prisoner can decide to see us again or try another person and we can also refuse to visit them anymore. For the thing they did to end up here, we didn't know either. It was up to the prisoner to tell us or not.

The person told me to sit here and wait. I looked at the glass separating the rooms. From my side I could see the chair the prisoner will be sitting on. The glass dividing us looked thick. Nothing could happen to me. I knew it but I was still scared. If those persons are here, it seems they've done something bad. From thief to or even murder, tortur. I shivered. Maybe I wasn't ready to meet a prisonner, even after all the warnings Himchan gave me. I touched the glass running my hands on it. Nothing will happen. Choi HaSeul, nothing bad will happen to you.

I gasped as the door opened and two men entered the room. The guardian was holding the guy shoulder in a harsh way and made him sit in front of me. The guard greeted me before going at his desk, in the other side of the room. My eyes finally landed on the man sit in front of me.

Well, I had another vision of the prisonner. That man was young and really handsome, manly. His grey uniform with his number "457" catched my attention and I quickly stared elsewhere, not wanting to make him embarassed. 

We crossed eyes and he was looking at me, equally shocked. Apparently he didn't know of me coming there instead of Himchan.

" Where is HimChan ? Who are you ? "

His voice was really deep, he looked a bit annoyed not to see his friend. Himchan was our mentor. I was struck for a bit before clearing my throat.  " Himchan got a new schedule. From now he can't attend to those visits very often. He asked me to replace him. "

He frowned and crossed his arms. " You still didn't present yourself. "

I blushed. Oh it's true. " I am Choi HaSeul. I'm a rookie at Friends. "

The man slowly nodded, staring at me very intensely. " I guess Himchan told you about me. "

I looked down, very impressed by his character so far and noticed  he had gorgeous hands. Did those hands commited a crime ? Were they stained with blood ?

I shook my head, trying not to think about this. " Himchan got promoted in the national branch of the charity association. He just told me to come to the jail at a certain hour. Can I know about your name ? " I asked to him gently. Himchan told me to behave really quiet and be really polite.

" Bang YongGuk. " The man said to me quietly

I nodded and took my bag with a smile and took time to write his name on his gift.  " I have a gift for you Bang YongGuk. " Earlier today, I went to the bookshop and bought a book for him. I chose a book I enjoyed, unsure if the person would enjoy reading. I pushed the goft in the little opening and waited for him to grab the gift with a smile. He didn't move at all. It was becoming awkward now. Suddenly, he clarified the situation.

" I have to ask autorisation. " He called over the guardian and looked at the person open right away the package, check the book inside, flip it open almost tearing it apart. I sighed, that must be frustrating yet the prisoner didn't show a single emotion to that breach of intimacy, he didn't even look at the guardian do that. As the guardian nodded and gave it back to YongGuk, the man had a moment of shock.

" You got me a book ? " He smiled for the first time and flipped though the pages. " Are you sure Himchan hasn't told you about me ? I love books. "

I gasped, happy that I made a gift that he liked. " I didn't know what to buy so I just buy a book I liked. "

" Thanks you, I'll read it well. " He rested his large hands on the book and looked at me, probably seeing how uneasy I was. "Are you even an adult ? To be visiting prisoners ? I thought they checked ID at the door. "

I gasped in shock, making him laugh. " I'm a full adult. I'm 26 years old. "

He nodded, with a little smile. " You're a student ? "

" A librarian. " I said. I worked at the Incheon Public Library for a year now. It was always my dream to work in a library. The job seemed boring to a lot of people but I really enjoyed my job.

He looked  surprised. " You have a nice job ! "

The conversation flowed well. It was fluid. YongGuk was very funny, I forgot he was a prisonner as we talked