a/n: Well here goes more angst

hate me for it, I can’t help it

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Yuta curled himself on his bed, hugging TY closer to him and crying. He hated himself for being this weak, but Taeyong pushed him to his limits. Who is Taeyong anyway and why is everyone on his side? Yuta was the victim here yet everyone thinks of him as the perpetrator or the evil one. Yuta cried himself to sleep and it reminded him of nights when he lost Ms. Taeyon.

Yuta moved on fairly easily, ignoring the fact that Taeyong existed and it seems that Taeyong did the same, if the barren kitchen was any indication and no traces of the said Korean was seen, at least they knew how to avoid each other. School was a , but when was it not? And Yuta found soccer practice suffocating, even Hansol was glaring at him. Yet Yuta would not step down on the pedestal that he was at because Taeyong was a nobody and he did nothing particularly wrong to merit such hate.

It came to the point where Yuta lived as if Taeyong never existed and reverted back to who he was before, an egoistic jerk.

Fall was around the corner and Yuta will be celebrating his birthday soon after the summer heat had passed. It also meant that he was going to celebrate his birthday and the nightmare that comes with it. Yuta felt that the air was colder this time around and he hated to admit it that he missed Taeyong’s food and company. But he sighed and shook his head, erasing those thoughts from his mind as he wandered his way around his university.

Sicheng met him at lunch one time and the angry expression on the younger was not good news for Yuta. Sicheng rarely gets angry  or mad, but when he does, it meant business.

“I won’t be celebrating my birthday with you.” Sicheng merely said and stormed off and away from him.

Yuta merely nodded and walked the other way, what good was celebrating his birthday when he knew he’s just as broken as he was since that fateful day? This was good, at least he could just wallow in pain on his own without judgement.

The apartment seemed so cold and empty but Yuta wouldn’t apologize and bring Taeyong back, he had lived a life without him, he could survive without him. Yuta sighed every now and then though, frustrated with how draining it was to be this emotional, and he was sure that he’ll have panic attacks soon. But he looked at TY and held the toy close to his body once more, and he promised himself that he’ll find him soon enough.

Soon enough came sooner than expected.

Yuta glared at his alarm but when he realized what the day was, he sighed and rubbed his temples. Today was the day that he will mourn for the rest of his mortal life, for today was the day that Ms. Taeyon sacrificed her life for Yuta to continue living.

On Yuta’s sixth birthday, he came to Korea to spend time with his family and finally get to meet TY. Ms. Taeyon was excited too, because after so long, she’ll finally get to meet her son. Ms. Taeyon had informed her mother of her arrival and she couldn’t hide her excitement to hold his precious son once more. Yuta was excited too because he will finally meet TY and celebrate his birthday playing games and eat food their little tummy can allow.

But even before they could meet, there came trouble. As the Nakamoto’s were famous and powerful people, many had targeted them in favor of getting their fair share of gold. Yuta’s life was put in danger when the car that they were using suddenly got ambushed. Yuta whimpered and cried when the car jolted and they heard gun shots outside. Ms. Taeyon pulled the back seat of the car and shoved little Yuta inside.

“Don’t make a sound. No matter what you hear, do not make any sound okay?” Ms. Taeyon instructed.

“But I am scared!” Yuta whimpered and cried but Ms. Taeyon grabbed the bunny and handed it to Yuta.

“It will be alright Yuta, just stay calm and think of meeting TY. You’ll meet him soon enough.” She smiled and kissed the kid’s forehead before she closed the back seat, locking it so it can’t be open easily.

She knew the car had secret compartments and they are bulletproof, she just wished that Yuta could survive this and meet her son to tell him that she loves her very much. She then pressed a panic button and that sent a signal to 119 for emergency; she just prayed that Yuta can be saved for he is still too young to perish.

Yuta gritted his teeth as he pounded on the shower wall. It had been years since the ordeal but he still blamed himself for losing a person dear to him, and in turn lost the only friend he considered. He shouldn’t have hidden away inside the car trunk and allowed Ms. Taeyon to protect him, if living it after was a pain. He cried yet the water washed it clean, and it’s somehow comforting like Ms. Taeyon’s embrace and soft words.

“I will find TY for you Ms. Taeyon.” Yuta gritted and with a determined soul, he finished washing up and changed into his formal clothes.

It has been a tradition on his birthday to come and visit Ms. Taeyon’s ashes where she was laid to rest. Amidst the silent marble the housed her urn, Yuta found comfort in the silence and coldness the room offered. There were hundreds more of urns that were laid to rest in the columbarium but Ms. Taeyon’s pink and purple urn stood out. He lighted the incense as usual and prayed for her eternal repose. He could only offer such prayers for her as his gratitude, for saving his life back then. He placed the incense on its older, yet he noticed something odd, there was a lighted incense already. It never happened in the past years that he had been visiting the place. He was always early to visit her and he had never spotted anyone who does the same. His eyes widened, could it be TY? Was he here?

Yuta looked around him, no one was present, not a single soul.

He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists, he could have met TY already.

He placed his palm on the glass and tearfully looked at the urn as regret washed over him, how could he fail her so much. He let the tears fall and cried out the pain in his heart, yet it wasn’t easing up, it never did. After a couple of minutes, he wiped the tears from his eyes and cheeks and kissed the glass to convey his love for her, his gratitude and his promise, but when he opened his eyes to stare at the compartment, his eyes widened and his jaws dropped.

A College diploma was already placed inside, a recent addition because he knew the contents by heart, and it bore a name he thought he could never see ever again.

Lee Taeyong

An enigma.

Lee Taeyong is an enigma yet one at a time, Yuta is discovering him in a new light.

“TY” Yuta muttered and then bolted out of the columbarium in search of the person who he was searching for but failed to recognize he had all along.

a/n: I am not sure if I messed up the timeline. But I had to drop this one to keep the story going. There will be more secrets to be revealed by the coming chapters and guess what, we are going to conclude this soon! Aren’t you all excited that one story is going to end and you won’t be bugged to wait for updates?