*** Chapter 4: Panic Attack ***

"What..are..you..guys..doing..?"

There was a moment of silence.

It had not been an hour passed since Taehyung was home. Jimin should have been in his workplace at the moment. Jihoon was shocked. Just moments ago, he declared that he did not want Jimin to catch them red-handed. But seeing their situation right now, how would they manage to escape from the crisis?

Jihoon was stunned.

He was horrified.

And surely, it led him to become vulnerable to his panic-attack.

He found himself suddenly hard to breath. It felt like something was binding his chest so tight that he couldn’t inhale anything.

Taehyung felt the sudden change of the boy in his embrace. The smaller boy’s body was stiffening. His chest moved up and down frantically. He was trembling.

Taehyung was at loss of words to see his lover got into another panic-attack.

Panic-attact was a known company of Jihoon. Sometimes Jihoon himself knew exactly why he was in panic, but most of the time, the attack could come suddenly without any prior warning or certain causes.

It was one of the things that made Jimin became over-protective towards his only brother.

And he couldn’t stand the sight of his brother’s suffering.

“Jihoon-a!” Jimin was the first to react after seeing his brother clutching his hands hardly in own chest.

“He gets a panic-attack?” Jimin asked Taehyung who hadn’t let his arms off of the youngest boy. He was still literally hugging him.

“Yeah..” Taehyung tried his best to hide his own shock.

“How long has it been?” Jimin urged.

“It.. It has been a while…” Taehyung answered.

“What is the cause? Did it come suddenly?” Jimin kept asking Taehyung. He knew it well that it would be useless to ask anything to Jihoon. The youngest boy wouldn’t be able to speak properly at times like this.

“It came suddenly,” Taehyung lied. “We were just thinking to play games when he suddenly trembled.”

He knew well of Jihoon condition after living under the same roof for three years. He was sure that Jimin wouldn’t find his story was all made up.

And Jimin really was consuming anything Taehyung told him.

“Jihoon-a..” the older Park boy moved to sit on the other side of his brother. He was claiming Jihoon in his embrace too. Taehyung knew it well to let Jimin win this time.

After all, every time Jihoon was attacked, for whatever reason it was, Jimin was the one who could save him the best.

“Jihoon-a… Hyung is here… You are safe…” he gently caressed his baby brother. “I’m with you..”

Jihoon didn’t mind that Taehyung had exchanged his role with Jimin. On the contrary, he snuggled closer to his brother, and rested his head on the older’s chest.

“You’ll be alright, Jihoon-a… you’ll be alright…” Jimin kept whispering close to him to soothe the younger. He felt that the smaller boy’s body was a bit hot.

“Are you sick, baby? Do you feel any pain?” he asked slowly.

Jihoon was not responding. It worried Jimin more.

“Do you need anything, Jihoon-a?” he asked again, but tried his best not to sound urged. “Please… say something…”

The younger boy opened his mouth. His chest was still moving up and down violently. But he was able to make some sound. “Nothing.. hyung… just…” he kept gripping his chest because it hurt so much.

Jimin grabbed his hand and gently squeezed it with his.

“Jihoon-a… what about we sing a song? Hmm?” Jimin came up with another idea.

Gom se ma ri ga
han jibe isseo
Appa gom, eomma gom, aegi gom
Appa gom eun ttung ttung hae
Eomma gom eun nal ssin hae
Aegi gom eun neomu gwi yeo wo
Hui seuk hui seuk jar han da…

Jimin repeated the song, and this time, Jihoon was slowly following him.

After another round, finally Jimin could feel that Jihoon was slowly calmed down.

If moments ago, Jihoon found it hard to breathe, now when he started to breathe normally, he felt like he no longer have the energy. The attack exhausted him badly.

“We better move you to your bed, shall we?” Jimin asked, and Jihoon nodded weakly.

Taehyung who kept silent for the while, stepped in to help Jimin carry his brother. But his bestfriend was actually capable to do it on his own.

He had done it all his life, of course. He was used to it.

Jimin safely landed Jihoon on his comfy bed. He pulled the blanket, covering his brother properly. Then he sat on the bedside.

“Do you need anything else?” he asked again.

Jihoon shook his head once. He looked up to his brother, and unknowingly, tears started to form in his eyes.

“Ssshh… Don’t cry, Jihoon-a… You should keep your energy… Don’t waste it on crying…” Jimin tried to throw a joke.

But Jihoon couldn’t smile.

“I’m sorry, hyung…”

“No.. don’t…”

“I always make you worry…”

Jimin shook his head. “I do worry about you, Jihoon-a. But it’s all because I love you. You are my brother. It is normal for me to worry about you…” he affectionately caressed the chubby cheeks.

“But…”

“Ssshhh… no more buts…” he cut. “Now, rest..”

Jihoon still tried to counter but Jimin bit his lip, showing an upset expression, but in jokingly manner.

“You better keep your energy from debating me,” he playfully threatened.

His baby brother pouted, though still looked weak. But pouting Jihoon a.k.a mad Jihoon was a sign that the cute boy had returned to normal mode.

“Have you eaten any dinner?” Jimin asked.

Jihoon let out a small sigh. “Why do you guys keep asking me the same question? Am I such a glutton in your eyes?”

“It because I think you are so light when I carry you just now. You should be a lot heavier…”

“Ah, hyung… I’m too chubby already… Am I not fat enough?”

Jimin chuckled. The fact that Jihoon already able to have a little verbal fight, although his voice was so weak, was a good sign that he was getting better.

“No… you look fat because you always wear oversized cloths. You are actually thin. You should eat more. Besides, I know you’re getting more intense in your boxing training. You REALLY should eat more to balance your energy..”

“Speak for yourself, hyung…” Jihoon retorted. “Who was the one that faint during a dance practice, huh?” he attacked.

“Well… I admit that I was in a severe diet that one time…” Jimin shrugged his head. “But my effort was worth it. I got this nice abs for that performance.”

“At least I never faint on the gym..” Jihoon did not want to lose. The fact that Jimin already got his perfect muscular body sometimes triggering him to do better, or at least come par, with his brother.

“I see you already get your strength back to diss me..” Jimin teased.

The younger frowned, “You can leave now. I’m feeling better. Thanks for that. But now I want to sleep.”

Jimin beamed, and he raised his hand, ruffling his brother’s hair. “Have a good rest, Jihoon-a…”

The younger boy rolled his body showing his back to his brother. Jimin rose from his seat and left the room.

Taehyung was waiting outside this entire long.

“Is he okay?” he asked the first thing when he saw Jimin.

“Yeah… he’s better,” Jimin answered. “Thanks, buddy.. Lucky you were at home with him.”

“It’s lucky that you came home fast. What happen?”

“Namjoon hyung asked to exchange shifts with me. He has something to do tomorrow.”

“Ahh.. I see…”

Jimin took a glance to Jihoon’s room which door was still ajar. “He said he is going to sleep, but can you check on him for a while? I really need to use the bathroom.”

“Yes, of course,” Taehyung did not hesitant for a bit.

Jimin walked away, and Taehyung did not waste anymore second to see his beloved boy.

It was as if Jihoon knew that Taehyung would come in next. He rolled his body to find his dear lover kneeling at his bedside.

“You okay know?” Taehyung was truly worried. “I’m sorry, Jihoon-a…”

“No, hyung.. please.. don’t..” Jihoon knew what Taehyung was going to say. “It’s true that I was shocked that Jimin-hyung was already home. But it wasn’t enough to turn me frantic like that. It really was a sudden attack…” he tried to explain.

And he wasn’t lying.

“But… you admit it or not, I’m sure it was the trigger…”

“No, hyung…” Jihoon denied. “When I know the cause of my distress, my mind cannot forget the thing and keep stressed on it. But when it was sudden like what happen just now, I lost my mind, I can’t think of anything.. It’s true, hyung..”

Taehyung grabbed Jihoon’s hand with his. “Either way, Jihoon-a…”

“Hyung, please…” he stopped him. “I’m fine now. That’s what important, right?”

The older boy heaved a long sigh. He knew he couldn’t win this battle.

“Okay,,, fine..” he surrendered. Jihoon smiled in victory.

Taehyung squeezed Jihoon’s hand lightly. “Is there anything you need?”

The younger boy cutely shook his head. But then he thought of something. “Actually….”

“Yes?”

“I want you to stay here with me… Until I fall asleep…”

Taehyung tilted his head, “Fair enough… Now sleep!”

“But I still want to look at you…” Jihoon’s mischievous nature was back.

The older clicked his tongue. “Aigoo… I know I am handsome.. But you don’t have to keep staring at me that way…”

“Aigoo… my boyfriend is too confident..” Jihoon clicked his tongue too.

Taehyung was putting his fingers under his eyes, drawing his famous V-sign, his trademark of being confident.

“Promise me you won’t leave until I fall asleep..”

“Okay…”

“And when Woojin come home… make sure he won’t disturb me..”

“Consider it done.”

Taehyung’s smile was really assuring and it brought Jihoon peace in his heart and mind. He closed his eyes capturing his lover’s smile as the last thing he saw that day. And slowly, he was drifted into the dreamland.

Taehyung loved it so much when he’s able to watch the love if his life fell asleep peacefully. His hand was still holding Jihoon’s, and all of his concentration were focused on the boy.

He didn’t notice anything else.

He didn’t aware that Jimin already stepped inside the room, standing behind him.

He almost froze when Jimin tapped his shoulder.

“Tae...” Jimin whispered, “I need to ask you something...”

He slowly turned his head.

Jimin’s eyes were shot straight to him, “Let’s talk outside.”

*** to be continued ***