~Chapter Song1: 10cm 'Everything'~

~Chapter Song2: B.A.P ‘With You’~

So-Hyun woke up early this morning to Podo shuffling in her bed. She was still having to adjust to the addition of the puppy in her home and she didn’t know what she did, but he always stuck to her wherever she went. Luckily the rest of her family were okay with it and they all got along with him. After feeding him she checked in on her brother and mother before stepping out to make her way to Seung-Ho’s place. She was supposed to clean it with his mother tomorrow, but she decided that doing it before she got there would mean less work for Ms Lee. So-Hyun usually has the weekend off and on cleaning as of recent had become a way to combat stress on Sundays.

When she got to his apartment it was in the exact state that she had left it in and there wasn’t much to clean. Everything was the way it should have been. There were even times she contemplated making a mess of things just so that she would have something to clean up. Deciding to clear out his fridge for the side-dishes his mother would bring, she moved to the kitchen.

She let out a small smile upon hearing the sound of the security system, his mother must have had the same thoughts as her. They were both too considerate for their own good. “Eommoni, you really couldn’t wait for me could you…”

“People say I look like my father more than I do my mother but…” His voice rung through her ears and her grip on the milk carton tightened. Turning around she blinked several times, even rubbing her eyes to make sure she wasn’t seeing things.

“…Oppa?”

“So-Hyun-ah!” He walked the distance to the kitchen and embraced her in a hug, surprised to see her there. “Did you stay here whilst I was gone? Hmm? I was meant to surprise you, but you surprised me first.” He brushed her hair aside.

There he was, in all of his handsomeness. He even had an English flair to him now; his skin was a little tanned from the late Spring sun and his hair was dishevelled from the night flight.

He had definitely surprised her.

“W-what are you doing back? I thought you weren’t going to be back for a few more weeks?”

“I wrapped up as soon as I could. London is nice, but it’s not as nice as being here, with you.” He paused giving her a smile, “Should I go back? I’ll just take my luggage-” He made to walk towards his bags until So-Hyun tugged his elbow.

“You know that’s not what I mean. Come here…” She called out to him softly, opening her arms so that he would hug her again. This was it. The same scent she had tried so hard to recreate whilst he was gone. With her head in the crook of his neck she inhaled deeply. There’s nothing like the real thing. “I’ve missed you so much.”

She had been wondering how she was going to try and get her act together so that Seung-Ho wouldn’t sense any change in her, but she didn’t think he would be back this soon. In her calendar she still had three more weeks. She fixed a smile on her face hugging him tighter.

“I’ve missed you more… You lied.” He pouted, pulling back slightly to take a look at her, “You said I wouldn’t be able to feel the time go by. It feels like a year since I last saw you… Why didn't you video call me?” He asked, and she tried hard not to tense under his gaze.

She brushes off imaginary dust on his shoulder and lies, “I’ve just been really busy, and the time difference was also a big part of it. I’m sorry, but look you see me now.”

His face lit up and he pulled her closer, “I do see you. Your hair has gotten longer, you’re still beautiful and your lips are looking kissable as always…” He leaned in slowly, capturing in a soft kiss. She carefully hung her arms across his shoulders and pressed her lips harder to his as if to let him know that she was his and only his.

His hand fell to her waist and he paused noticing that she had lost weight he became worried. He broke apart, his lips still on hers. “Are you sure that you’ve been well? I know that you’re busy with work, but I hope you’re eating three meals a day at least…”

So-Hyun nodded, her lips brushing his as she did so. “You have to see your family, right?” She asked, hoping that her topic change would work.

“Hmm…” He wasn’t convinced, but then again, a woman’s weight was almost a no-go area. “Yeah, I have to see everyone, including Eommoni and your brother. I got them a little something.” So-Hyun narrowed her eyes ready to tell him that she shouldn’t have, but he tucked her hair behind her ear to stop her. “I wanted to buy them So-Hyun-ah… Plus, I won’t be going for a few days anyways. I want to spend the today with you.” He dimpled.  

Leaving his luggage behind he lifted her up into a hug and So-Hyun instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, “Let’s have fried chicken for lunch? The chicken over there tasted like rubber.” So-Hyun nodded silently, hanging onto him as he walked them to his sofa.

After having chicken for lunch, they lazed around his house with Seung-Ho showing her all the pictures he had taken and the places he wanted them to visit in the future. She could see that he was genuinely happy coming back from his trip and it brought a small smile to her face. She suddenly felt like she did the right thing by not worrying him with everything back then.

“You were so busy, what kind of time did you have to be missing me?” She teased with a pout, sliding through some more photos of London. She paused when she sensed his burning gaze from the side of her face and she could feel herself reddening from it.

“Do you know how many times I wished you missed me the way I missed you?” He asked, in a scolding voice soft with affection. “Always saying that you didn’t miss me… I almost believed you. I know a lot of it was my fault, but I couldn’t help but feel like you were being distant with me.”

She gave a shy smile, replying honestly, “I missed you more than just telling you over the phone could have expressed.” She lifted up her hand to his cheek. “So, how much did you miss me? Besides a lot.”

“A heck of a lot.” He dimpled, leaning into her touch.

“What exactly does 'a heck of a lot' look like? Can you show me?” Her doe-eyes bore into his dark orbs expectantly.

“What do you want me to do?” He asked.

So-Hyun kept her hand on his cheek a little longer before gently lifting herself up from the sofa and drawing closer to him so that she snuggled into his lap. Leaning upwards she pressed their lips together, slowly sending them both backwards so that So-Hyun was laying on top of him. Her kiss wasn’t too hard nor was it too soft. It was just the right pressure; their movements were slow and the feel of her lips on his were supple.

Pulling apart slightly she leaned in closer and she whispered into his ear, “Make love to me.”

"Here?"

"Here." She confirmed.

Seung-Ho welcomed her suggestion, turning his face so that his mouth could meet her neck. He nibbled gently, carefully marking her collar bone with kisses and he let out a low groan at the way So-Hyun's warmth tickled his skin. Gathering his arms around her, he pulled her closer to him. As his hand sauntered under her shirt and around her waist she took pleasure in the way his touch sent sparks all over her body. A feeling only his hands could elicit. The only hands she ever wanted touching her.

His mere presence was like air to her and now that he was here, perhaps she could breathe again.

^^^^

Cold. That was the first sensation that So-Hyun had felt when she woke up which meant that she was too far from his body and so she snuggled closer to Seung-Ho for warmth. He was just waking up too and his eyes caught the time on his watch, “We’ve missed dinner. Should we order something, or should I cook?” He asked. She patted his bare chest whilst pondering on his question, and at the thought of wanting to stay like this a little longer she chose the first option.

After taking a shower they ordered sashimi and moved to his lounge to watch TV. They had been mindlessly watching programme after programme whilst drinking the wine he bought from duty free.

So-Hyun had finished her first glass and being the poor drinker she was she was already feeling sleepy. Whether it was the effect of the wine or Seung-Ho’s presence she couldn’t say, but she welcomed it. She barely had any rest as of recent. When the next programme turned out to be a wedding project show neither of them said a word, they simply sat in each other’s arms watching it silently.

People around her had been talking about marriage recently and she didn’t know how to respond to their questions. And by people she meant Seung-Ho's mother, her own mother at times and of-course whenever she bumped into Ara she never failed to remind her of her disapproval of any future plans. She tried not to pay too much attention to it because she felt that she was still young and there was no rush for her to get married. So-Hyun would be lying though if she said she hadn’t thought about getting married with Seung-Ho, because she had, more than once in fact. She was more than sure that she wanted to marry him, no one could compare to him and even with her non-existent history of dating, she doesn’t think she’d want any other man.

“Do you think it’ll be fun?” She started, something akin to a smile lingering on her lips, “Do you think it’ll be fun if we got married?” She finished with a whisper, before closing her eyes and resting her head on his chest.

Seung-Ho peered at his girlfriend who had only had a glass of wine in amusement. Lifting her from her position on the sofa, he carried her into the bedroom and he lay her on the bed. Removing her socks, he then tucked her in brushing her hair out of her face. He stared at her with a smile on his face.

It was funny, the few words that she had said tipsy were the same words that were on his mind constantly in his sober state. If he had learned anything during their time apart, it was that he didn’t want to be away from her again, voluntarily or not. He wanted to spend his life with her and had planned to tell her that soon, but he wants to wait for her. “It’ll be more than fun… It’ll be the best decision of my life.” He whispered.

So-Hyun tried hard not to stiffen at his words, she was semi-conscious, and she could feel his gaze penetrating her skin, but she didn’t have the confidence to face him.

“Will you marry me?” He echoed silently, scratching the nape of his neck shyly before going to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Yes. I want to.

Emotions can sometimes obscure the intellect and when it comes to life-long decisions like marriage, great care should be taken. So-Hyun knows this, so why would she choose to blurt out such random thoughts? It’s true she had thoughts of spending her life with Seung-Ho, but she would like to attribute her earlier words to the tv programme and also to the time that they were apart. What she just said was just a fleeting emotion of happiness and relief that he was in the same country again… Right?

But, the minute she said heard the affection in his voice, the thoughts that had been tormenting her for the past few months came back to haunt her again. The same questions that ran through her head, not letting her sleep comfortably at night resurfaced effortfully and soon she was awake and very sober.

She doesn’t take the time to look at his sleeping form as she tip-toes into his kitchen, searching through his cabinets for anything to help her sleep. She knows better than to seek for medication as a remedy, but she couldn’t help it. Her mind was telling her how unworthy of Seung-Ho that she was. How unclean she was and all she wanted to do was to shut them down.

Everything is my fault. It’s all my fault. Why did I have to do that to myself?

She had stepped foot into the realm of self-blame and there was nothing she could do to control it. He