~Chapter Song1: Kim Na Young ‘I’m okay’~

(Ruler OST’s were just bomb TT.)

~Chapter Song2: BEAST ‘Without You’~

This really did start off as a short chapter, mian.

The next month came all too quickly for So-Hyun and dead on the dot of six in the morning, fuelled by a warm cup of caramel macchiato from her favourite café by their house, she made her way to work. Scanning the empty office upon arrival, she walked in and sunk into her chair with a sigh.

Shedding off her jacket she stood back up again with her drink in hand, walking towards the windows to pull up the blinds. Glugging the last bit of her coffee down, she threw it in the bin closest to the window. It was quiet as usual being the first one there she allowed herself to be free, exhaling and taking in the view.

Whenever she walked those streets with Seung-Ho everything seemed quiet, but as of recent to her she had started to become aware of the busyness and the noise. Even at the crack of dawn cars lined the roads and people in suits shuffled back and forth.

“I must have looked like that this morning…” She mutters to herself.

She suddenly took notice of her reflection, and she examined it. Her hair was in a tight bun and her light blue work shirt was tucked tightly into her trousers. Taking in another deep breath, she stretched her arms, turning to go back to her cubicle. Her newly assigned desk was by the door, she had asked to swap with Ha-Na so that she wouldn’t need to sit right next to Sun-Woo and Ha-Na was more than pleased to do so. She didn't close the door so from the corner of her eye she could see when and if her colleagues arrived.

Thinking that something had passed by her, she leaned back from her desk to double-check but didn’t hear or see anyone. Relaxing back into her seat she picked up her phone to check the time but jumped when she heard a sudden thud outside the door. Turning to the source she broke into a soft smile when her gaze landed upon counsellor Jung-Ah.

“Oh, So-Hyun-ssi you’re here early?” She perked with a grin, seeming to be struggling with a few items. Her coffee, morning newspaper, handbag and car-keys were fighting for a position in her hands, not to speak of the files that were currently on the floor.

So-Hyun rose quickly to help her. “Counsellor Jung-Ah, good morning. Let me get those for you.” She insisted, gathering the files and walking to her own office.

“Thank you, sorry to bother you, but good thing I met you this morning. Sometimes I think I’m superwoman really.” She mumbled when they arrived, and So-Hyun could only give her a sympathetic smile. Excusing herself she turned around only to notice a piece of paper on the floor. She picked it up thinking it was one of the loose ones that fell earlier, but her eyes couldn’t help but catch the words on the sheet. It seemed to be records of a counselling session.

“Counsellor… Sorry, I didn’t mean to read it.” So-Hyun apologised, she was well aware of confidentiality and was lucky enough she didn’t see the name of the client.

Jung-Ah took the paper and gave a small smile to reassure her, “Don’t worry. These are just transcripts from case studies that we’ll be using for our session later today.” She then handed the paper back to her. “Would you like to have a look? I’ll make sure you have a different one to work with later?” She winked.

So-Hyun hesitated for a while, but since the paper was already in her hands and she really didn’t have anything else to do till everyone else clocked in for work she took it. Accepting the seat Jung-Ah offered her, she read through the transcript. 

“What do you think?” Jung-Ah asked after a while.

So-Hyun raked through her brain for something to say, but each time she read through the final statements only one thing came to mind. “I’m not too sure, but for the basis it seems like they’re trapped in the past, perhaps blaming themselves for what happened to their parents or how they were treated by those around them and holding onto the guilt. It doesn't seem like they were nurtured with the truth growing up. I also noticed that when something goes wrong they're quick to compare themselves with others who are living life the way they would like to live.” She looked up to Jung-Ah who was currently staring at her with her chin resting in her palms.

“Did I get it wrong?” So-Hyun queried, but received a grin and a wave of a hand in response.

“There isn’t always a right and a wrong, but I see where you're coming from. The whole idea or thought that your life needs to look like others is a complete lie. That person didn’t know that and what they had gone through in the past took control of them, and in many ways they used it as a standard to compare their life with others. Believing that you're the only one suffering is another lie, the same people that the client was comparing themselves with may have also been going through things that weren't visible to the eye.”

They were both silent for some time, digesting their thoughts. "It must have been painful thoigh, being abandoned and mistreated by the people closest to you." So-Hyun murmured, her eyes falling on the paper again.

“So-Hyun-ssi did you know that? As catastrophic as natural events are, they’re not the only violence that can hurt us most deeply? What we as humans do to each other can also leave us broken and suffering.” She expressed, a forlorn look on her face as she scanned her files. “It’s not an easy job and it’s not easy to be happy just because you say you are. It has to come from within, when you're content and free from comparisons." She closed her folder and interlocked her fingers. "Others might tell you otherwise though.” She added lightly. 

“How… How do I do that? I mean when I do all the training and meet my clients how will I be able to tell them that?” She corrected.

“When I was training there was one thing that my supervisor said that has stuck with me till this day.”

So-Hyun bit her tongue trying to push back down the emotions that were trying to rise from within. “W-what was it?” She asked.

“He said to me that we live in a society where our priorites have become shuffled and people are being wired to only focus on the big things. Sometimes the little things we do for others have the greatest occupancy in thier hearts. Although I disagreed a litlle, I found some truth to what he said."

So-Hyun knew that her job would not be an easy one, that was granted, but there were times she couldn't help but feel she was facing a wall. As of recent she was worried about how it would be possible to help someone get better when there are bad people and bad things are happening everywhere. Even Seung-Jae had faced her with questions she found difficult providing answers for.

"This probably isn’t something I should be saying but my job is to give you the truth, so I will. Back then I often wondered how I would be able to counsel other people when I couldn't even handle my own thoughts and problems, that's probably a huge reason why we ask you to partake in sessions yourself. Part of the 'answer' is that we have to help draw people out from the dark, expose the lies that they've been told and locate the source of their discomfort and imbalance.”

So-Hyun slowly nodded her head, thinking that it was much easier said than done. She widened her eyes when Jung-Ah repeated her thoughts out loud.

“Well, of course that’s much easier said than done but the most important thing is trying right? As cliché as it sounds the first step really is acknowledging that there is a problem.” Her eyes glanced at the clock and she gasped, “Oh! Look at me,  I’m sorry I’ve taken your early morning away from you. I usually always spend the morning alone reviewing different files.”

So-Hyun took a few moments to come to and reply, “No it’s okay. At least I got extra training from you.” She joked weakly.

“Ah yes, how are you finding everything? Before you know it, you’ll be sitting in my chair.” She jested, “I hope it isn’t too straining?”

“I can’t lie and say that it’s easy… But compared to other things I’m dealing with it’s a lot better.”

Jung-Ah furrowed her brows noticing that So-Hyun’s voice had lowered. Pulling herself forward on her seat she examined her demeanour and facial expressions. She had been aware that So-Hyun had been a little distant at times, despite giving her best during the times she trained them.

“So-Hyun-ssi, is the workload really too much? Or is there something else bothering you?”

“I… No, it’s just the stress. I’m sure you’ve been through it all, Counsellor.”

Jung-Ah puckered her lips and then leaned back in her chair, choosing not to pressure So-Hyun. “So-Hyun-ssi, I'm not sure what's wrong but there's greater ahead. When there’s something wrong seek help, don’t try and harbour it by yourself it really never works, trust me I know. When I was training there was a lot that I went through and if I’m honest training was at the bottom of my list. My first response was to always put everything in the back of my mind and pretend like everything would be okay or disappear if I ignored it, and well, that failed because I was the only one to suffer.”

"But isn't easier that way though?"

“It may seem like it, but it isn't. Please, don't try and take the stress alone, o