“Taehyung.”

“Taehyung?”

“Taehyung!”

He blinked and glanced up. “What, yeah?”

Yuna spun around, her light pink dress sparkling slightly in the light. “What about this one?”

Taehyung nodded slowly, feeling dazed. “Yeah, sure, I really like that one.”

“OK, why are you so out of it?” She huffed, crossing her arms. “You need to help me pick out a really nice dress for the movie premiere. And you still need to find a suit.”

“Sorry,” He shook his head. “I’m just a bit tired.”

Yuna gave him a long stare. “Why haven’t you been getting enough sleep?”

“I don’t know.”

She sighed. “Is that why you randomly dyed your hair blonde, because you’re barely awake? It looks weird.”

Taehyung touched his hair self consciously.

“You’re so different these days I swear, it’s like you’re turning into another person.” She said and walked back towards the change room. “I’m gonna try on two more dresses, but I really like this one.”

“OK.” He said quietly.

Yuna closed the door and he slumped back in the chair, closing his eyes. He’d never felt so broken and dark before. He thought his decision to end things with Jungkook wouldn’t be so hard on him, but somehow he still couldn’t stitch his heart back together. It hurt so ing much.

Taehyung glanced towards the change room. He’d contemplated so many times telling Yuna about Jungkook and what he was doing to her, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. What would he even say? Trying to convince her from the start that Jungkook wasn’t a good person never worked. And if he exposed why he was using her, that would put him in a bad position.

Yuna would want to know why he thought Jungkook was using her and if he said that it was because he was gay; what would happen after that? This wasn’t just a light topic. He’d have to reveal why he thought that, and that’d only mean revealing his true emotions too.

He could always lie, but Taehyung wasn’t ready to hurt her like that.

He was just as much as a coward as Jungkook was.

Things had been over between them for a few days, and Taehyung still somehow couldn’t seem to forget how devastated and the tearful he looked. But he’d done the right thing, it was just hard to accept.

Really, really hard.

He couldn’t remember the last time something that truly made him happy ever worked out long enough in his favour. There was always some sort of problem or issue in his way.

Taehyung let out a long breath. Everything happened for a reason though, he just had to keep reminding himself that. But it was hard to keep remembering when he could only feel Jungkook’s lips on his, and the way his fingers felt on his skin.

He opened his eyes slowly and looked down at his hand.

“Just forget.”

**

It felt like time went by too fast.

By the time he could blink, Taehyung was helping Yuna to get ready for the premiere. He’d barely gotten any sleep the night before, there was too much to stress over. His job was taking up too much of his time, but he couldn’t quit. Except juggling his job and school was starting to take a tole on him.

He felt sick, like he wanted to fall over, but he pushed all of that away to be happy and support Yuna. It was hard to be happy for her though, especially when he wasn’t fulfilling his promise to protect her. That weight still felt like the heaviest burden on him on top of everything. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could go on pretending everything was OK.

Yuna didn’t deserve to be used like this, she’d done nothing wrong. But Taehyung kept exploiting her just so that he could keep his secret. He hated himself so much.

Why couldn’t he just tell her?
Just tell her.

Taehyung’s hand trembled as he brushed her hair carefully. “Yuna.”

“Yeah?” She glanced up at him.

He stopped and shook his head. “N-Nothing.”

“Are you almost done? I think Jungkook’s really close by.” She scrolled through her phone quickly.

Taehyung stepped back slowly. “Yeah I think so, you look really nice.”

Yuna gave herself a quick one-over in the mirror. She did really look beautiful, but Taehyung wish she’d done this for someone else.

Someone who truly cared about her.

“Yuna.” He whispered.

She looked at her again. “Yeah? Are you OK?”

“I um-”

The doorbell rung loudly then and she gasped. “Oh my God, Oh my God, he’s here, I’m so nervous!”

Taehyung watched as she ran out of the bathroom. He looked back in the mirror. His expression was grim, there were black circles and bags underneath his eyes that he couldn’t cover up, and he looked like he was on the verge of breaking down into a panic attack.

He ran his fingers through his blonde hair.

Why did he do that?

He just wanted to look different, because he hated the way he looked.

But it didn’t really change anything.

He still hated himself.

“Taehyung, are you coming?” Yuna called then.

He turned away and fiddled with his tie nervously, walking towards the living room. When he saw Jungkook, his heart constricted in his chest. He looked good as usual, but there was something more striking about him that night. It was probably the suit or the way his hair was styled, revealing his forehead. But just looking at him made Taehyung feel sick, like he wanted to cry.

He couldn’t be in his presence.

Taehyung hung back and watched them carefully.

Yuna looked at him, waving her hand frantically. “What are you doing? We need to go.”

Jungkook looked over too. He was exuding so much confidence, staring as if he had so much power over him. Taehyung hated it, how perfect he was acting, like nothing was affecting him at all. Did he really not care that much? Was he really that heartless?

Taehyung shook his head. “It’s OK, you two go ahead. I can drive myself.”

Yuna gave him a worried look but nodded slowly. “OK, I’ll see you there then. You have the address right?”

“Yeah.”

Jungkook stepped forward. “Are you sure you don’t need a ride?”

Taehyung glared at him. “I said I can drive myself.”

His expression slipped for a second but he quickly covered it up and smiled. “OK...Sorry for asking.”

Taehyung couldn’t even force himself to say anything back. He just watched him take Yuna’s hand and her out, his stomach churning uncomfortably. When the door clicked closed, he sat down and put his face in his hands, trying to control his breathing.

He didn’t think he could do it, being around Jungkook was too hard for him. But he had to do, he had to-

Taehyung stood back up slowly, feeling weak but pushed himself forward.

He had to.

**

The theater was large and elegant, Taehyung immediately felt like he didn’t fit in and he hadn’t even gone inside yet.

He parked his car slowly and climbed out, pressing down on his suit and trying to fix his hair. His heart beat loudly as he walked inside. There was paparazzi all over and expensive looking guests in suits, dresses, and sparkling jewellery streamed inside on the red carpet.

Taehyung dropped his head, feeling nervous as he walked in behind them. He looked around anxiously once he got in, wondering where Yuna was but feeling too afraid to look. He didn’t really know what to do with himself, so he went to stand in the corner of the room by a long golden table filled with rice wine, champagne, fruits, cheese, water and kimchi.

He took a glass and poured himself some champagne slowly.

“Hey, Taehyung!” A familiar voice called him then.

He glanced over and saw Jin walking over through the crowd, another girl by his side. He looked really good as usual, it made Taehyung feel like dirt.

“You dyed your hair blonde it looks cool.” He smiled brightly at him. “This is Hoyeon by the way.”

Taehyung bowed awkwardly at her and she didn’t even smile, just gave him a weird look.

He tilted his head. “What are you doing standing over here by yourself? I just saw Jungkook and Yuna over there with his parents, you should go over.”

Taehyung’s heart dropped, he realized only then just how unprepared he was to go near them. “Um, it’s OK, I’ll stay over here for a bit-”

Jin took his arm and started dragging him towards them. “Come on, I’m pretty sure Yuna was looking for you.”

He held his breath once they emerged and saw Jungkook’s parents. They screamed power and confidence more than he did, even from a distance. Taehyung immediately felt intimidated.

“Hey, I found him.” Jin exclaimed when they stopped, leaving shortly after with Hoyeon.

Everyone glanced over and Taehyung caught Jungkook’s mom’s eye immediately. He’d only seen her in magazines and even on TV sometimes, seeing her in real life was so surreal. She was so much more beautiful and elegant in person. He peeked at his dad who was a walking replica of Jungkook. Taehyung thought he was really cool and handsome looking, he’d even seen some of his movies. But there was something stern about his expression, like he didn’t like what he saw looking at him.

Yuna smiled politely then. “This is my older brother Taehyung.”

He swallowed a lump in his throat and gave a really shaky smile, bowing slowly. “H-Hi, nice to meet you.”

Hana nodded, glancing at his hair.

Minjun gave his hand a firm shake, still giving an off-putting expression. “I’m glad you could come.”

“Thank you.”

Hana took a sip of her drink and then turned back to Yuna and Jungkook, talking to them cheerfully. Minjun joined the conversation again too, and Taehyung just stood there, not really sure what to say.

Was that it?

A few more people came to talk to them then and pushed Taehyung back, as if they didn’t even notice him.

He felt like an outsider.

But that was because he was one.

He looked at Yuna, she was shining. Everyone looked so entranced by her, but that was her affect on people. She just had a charm that was hard to miss or ignore.

What did Taehyung have?

Nothing.

He glanced at Jungkook. He was smiling, that pretty smile he couldn’t resist no matter how hard he tried.

How did someone as beautiful as him ever have feelings for Taehyung?

But he didn’t; that was over. And he was still a bad person that only used Yuna for his own good.

So why did Taehyung feel like he was being ripped in two?

He turned away and stumbled back towards the table, pouring more champagne and drinking some of the wine. It soothed the pain in his chest, made him feel less tired and stressed. No one was paying attention to him anyways, he could drink as much as he wanted and they wouldn’t care.

No one cared about him.

No one-

“Don’t worry OK? We’re here for you.”

Yoongi.

Taehyung clenched his teeth and drunk more. Every sip made his body feel lighter and his head feel dizzier, he felt like he was on a buzz, it felt so good. He went to grab for another bottle, but someone snatched it away.

It was a man or woman? He couldn’t really tell.

“What are you doing?” They snapped at him.

“Give it back,” He slurred, trying to reach for it.

“This isn’t an event to get drunk and wasted at! If you’re going to act so immature, you should leave-”

Taehyung grabbed for the bottle again but the person moved quickly out of the way and he stumbled over on his feet, falling forward. He grasped onto anything to steady himself but only ended up pulling glasses and more bottles down with him, sending them crashing into the tile. The liquid and glass spilled everywhere and he fell into a heap on the floor.

He groaned trying to sit up, but his legs were too numb.

“Taehyung!” Yuna ran over to him. She tried to reach for his arm but he smacked her hand away.

“D-Don’t touch me,” He trembled.

“What-”

“Someone him out!” He heard someone call then.

Two men barrelled through suddenly and grabbed his arms, yanking him up from the floor.

“Let go of me, don’t touch me!” Taehyung screamed and writhed but they didn’t let go. What was he even doing? It felt like someone else was controlling his movements. On the outside he was fighting, but on the inside he felt tired, dead, weak.

One of the men twisted his arm hard then, trying to stop him from moving and he cried in pain.

“Hey, hey stop!” Jungkook pushed forward and put a hand on the man’s shoulder, looking back at his dad. “I can help him, you don’t have to do this.”

“I don’t care what you do, just get him out of here now.” Minjun’s voice was hard.

Jungkook glanced at Yuna and she nodded at him slowly. “Please get him home safely.”

He squeezed her hand. “OK, I’ll be back soon.”

Taehyung felt limp as Jungkook took him carefully. Everyone’s eyes were on them as he helped him outside. There were flashing lights in his eyes that made him feel dizzy and nauseous, Jungkook put his hand up.

“Please don’t take pictures.” He said seriously and they backed down immediately.

Taehyung tried to push away from him but Jungkook held on tightly.

“Get away from me,” He slurred.

“Stop.”

They kept walking towards his car and he started shoving at his face, except Jungkook gave no reaction.

“Get away from me!”

He helped him into the car and closed the door.

“Why do we keep ending up like this,” Jungkook said quietly as he got back in beside him. “You were literally just breaking my heart a week ago and now look where we are again.”

“I hate you,” Taehyung whispered.

“You don’t mean that, you’re just drunk-”

“I hate you!”

Jungkook stared at him.

“I-I hate you.” Taehyung slumped back.

He didn’t say anything, just started the engine and drove him back home slowly.

Taehyung felt heavy and his mind was blank, he looked down at his hands in a daze. What was wrong with him. Why were things like this?

Jungkook stopped the car outside of his house and went around, helping him back out. Taehyung hated his hands around him, how close they were, but it was only because it felt so good.

Tears gathered in his eyes.

Why.

Why couldn’t things just work out.

Why did he have to do this to him and Yuna.

Why was there so much weight on his shoulders.

Why did his parents leave him with such a burden.

Why couldn’t he tell Yuna the truth.

Why did he hate himself so much.

Jungkook opened the door and brought him inside towards his room. He laid Taehyung down slowly, placing a warm hand on his forehead. “God, you have a huge fever. What the hell were you doing going out tonight?”

Taehyung just stared blankly up at the ceiling, tears stinging his eyes.

“Taehyung-”

“I-I should have just drowned in the ocean that day.”

He went still.

Taehyung put his arm over his eyes and started crying softly. “I should have just died.”

“Hey,” Jungkook took his arm, gripping it tightly. “What the hell are you talking about? Don’t say like that.”

“Stop acting like you care!” He shouted angrily. “Y-You don’t care about me,”

“I care about you, a lot. Don’t say that.” Jungkook said firmly.

Taehyung sobbed.

“A-Are you like this because of me?”

He couldn’t deny it. The reason he was beating himself up so much over Yuna, how conflicted he’d been feeling recently on top of everything else; it was all Jungkook’s fault. If he never put that stupid ing rose in her locker, if he wasn’t such a ing coward; he wouldn’t be like this.

But it was Taehyung’s fault as well, because just like Jungkook; he was hiding behind something fake. He was a coward too. Jungkook was exactly what he needed in his life for him to realize how truly ed up he was.

They were both so twisted.

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook whispered then. His heart stopped moving when he embraced him suddenly, his hands wrapping tightly around his back. “I’m really sorry.”

Taehyung felt empty when he started to let go of him slowly. What was he going to do?

Jungkook lay him back down carefully. He watched as he stood up and walked towards the door, but his eyelids were starting to turn heavy.

“Bye.” He whispered.

Jungkook disappeared as he fell into a deep, dark sleep.

**

Taehyung could hear crying.

His eyes fluttered open.

Nausea and numbness raked his body immediately, and he had the worst headache he’d ever felt in his life.
He sat up slowly and put a hand on his face, trying not to throw up.

The crying started again and he lifted his head. “Yuna?”

He climbed off of his bed and stumbled through the dark room. He could hear the sobs coming from the front door, Taehyung pushed his way down the hall and into the living room. Yuna was sitting with her back against the frame of the door, her legs tucked closely to her chest. She had her face buried between them and was sobbing loudly.

Taehyung ran towards her and crouched down. “Hey, hey, sh, why are you crying? What’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “I-I don’t know what happened, he just,”

He?

Jungkook?

“What did Jungkook do to you?’ Taehyung pressed seriously.

Yuna lifted up her head and looked at him, tears staining her cheeks.

“H-He broke up with me.”