Time stood still.

Taehyung was experiencing so many things at once. He’d never had a kiss like that before, it was soft but urgent and strong. Jungkook’s lips felt delicate and rough on his, like he was breathing life into him but also taking it away. There were fireworks and sparks exploding all over his body, a burning electricity ran hard through his veins.

Jungkook pulled away slowly, panting out of breath. He gave Taehyung a reassuring look then turned back and smiled at his friends. “There, are you guys happy?”

Taehyung felt his heart drop.

Soomi fanned herself. “Whoo, that was really y.”

“Is it weird that I’m ?” Heonwoo smirked.

Everyone laughed and Jae-eun slugged him in the arm.

Jungkook sat back down and took Yuna’s hand again. She gave Taehyung a look that he couldn’t read but also made his skin crawl.

So, it didn’t even mean anything. He just did it for them because they wanted him to.

Taehyung watched as they all started playing the game again as if nothing even happened. He pushed down the lump in his throat and turned away, feeling stupid and embarrassed.

Why was he so delusional? Why did he actually believe that anything Jungkook did to him was real?

It was a ing game, he knew that. So why did he truly believe that kiss was something sincere?

Taehyung clenched his teeth.

He pushed his way back inside and ran back upstairs, just wanting to escape the overbearing noise. When he reached the room he slammed the door closed, locking it tightly. Taehyung slid down against the frame of the door and closed his eyes, just trying to control his overflowing emotions.

“Hey are you OK?” He heard Yoongi’s voice from the bed then.

Taehyung opened his eyes. “What are you doing in here?”

“I came to find a room to sleep in because I was getting tired of partying with Hoseok.” He muttered. “I saw your bag in here so I figured I could just come in, but I can find another place to stay if you want to be alone-”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

Yoongi his side and faced him. “Did you wanna talk? You seem pretty stressed out about something.”

“I’m just tired.” He pulled his bag off of the bed and searched for a pair of sweatpants. “Mind if I change here?”

“We’ve known each other since we were little kids, I’ve literally seen you multiple times. I don’t care.” Yoongi muttered back.

He smirked and slid off his pants, pulling on the other pair slowly.

“The anniversary, it’s coming up soon right?”

Taehyung stopped moving. He’d been trying really hard to forget, just like he always did every year. Maybe that’s why he was so much more desperate to fill the empty space growing in his heart.

Every time that day came around, he’d feel even more heartbroken and empty than usual, more sad and in pain.

“Yeah,” Taehyung whispered. “I think it’ll be eleven years this year since they died.”

Is that why he was so attached to Jungkook? Did he think that in someway he could fill his void this time?

Yoongi pulled out one of his earbuds then and handed it to Taehyung. He lay down and took it carefully, putting it into his ear.

They lay side by side by each other, staring up blankly at the ceiling as the music played softly.

“Don’t worry OK?” Yoongi said quietly then. “We’re here for you.”

Taehyung tried to stop himself from tearing up so he closed his eyes and nodded. “Yeah, I know. Thank you.”

"Mhm." Yoongi whispered. “No problem.”

**

When Taehyung opened his eyes again, Yoongi was fast asleep beside him and practically kicking him off the bed. His body felt heavy as he sat up slowly and pulled out of the earbud. When did he drift off? He climbed off the bed and covered Yoongi carefully with a blanket and then slipped on a sweater.

The house was finally still, everything seemed like it had calmed down. Taehyung wondered how long he’d been sleeping for. He tread cautiously back downstairs. It was still dark out but just gradually breaking morning, almost everyone had dispersed from the party and they left a huge mess behind too.

Taehyung found Hoseok passed out on the couch in the living room. He checked his pulse quickly just to make sure he was still alive. Yuna, he wondered where she was sleeping. He hoped it was somewhere safe and that Jungkook was taking good care of her.

He wandered back outside then. The night air felt peaceful and refreshing, put his mind at ease. Taehyung sat down in the grass by the pond and listened to the water trickle quietly from the fountain. He craned his neck to look up at the sky and watched the small stars twinkle against the the navy blue backdrop, a cool wind nipping at his skin.

Taehyung tucked his knees to his chest, his thoughts were quiet for once. He wanted to enjoy this peace and relaxation while it lasted-

Something scuffed behind him then and he turned around. Jungkook walked down slowly from the patio, his hood pulled up over his face. When he noticed Taehyung, his eyes widened slightly.

Taehyung just turned back towards the fountain and focused on the water again, pretending he wasn’t there. Trying hard not to curse underneath his breath.

Jungkook sat down a few feet away from him and looked towards the fountain too.

They stared at it for a long time, both not really sure what to say to each other. Taehyung didn’t really feel like talking anyways, he didn’t really have anything to say to him-

“It’s nice right?” Jungkook asked then, glancing at him.

Taehyung sighed, forcing himself to speak. “The fountain? Yeah, it’s pretty.”

“I got it as a gift from my grandad, he found it in Japan at this really nice flower garden.” He smiled softly. “It was pretty much like a going away present, something to remember him by; he died about a year after he gave it to me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Taehyung replied, feeling the familiar pain in his heart.

Jungkook fiddled with the strings on his hood. “You don’t have to apologize for anything, it’s not your fault.”

“Yeah, but I know how horrible it feels to lose someone you love. So, I’m sorry.”

It fell silent again.

Taehyung peeked at him. “Is Yuna OK?”

“Yeah, she’s just sleeping in my room. But I couldn’t sleep so I came down here, just listening to the stream always makes me feel tired.” Jungkook replied thoughtfully. “Sorry if I disturbed you though.”

Taehyung tucked his knees closer to his chest. “You didn’t disturb me, and this isn’t my place anyways. My presence shouldn’t stop you from coming where you want.”

Jungkook stared at him for a while and then smirked.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“What is it?” He pressed.

“I said it’s nothing.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes and looked away.

Jungkook chuckled. “Fine, you really wanna know?”

He gave him an annoyed look.

“They were right; you’re a really good kisser.”

Taehyung’s face turned red. “Hey! Shut up, it’s not like I even wanted to kiss you.”

Jungkook just nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

“We only did it because your friends wanted us to,” He trailed off, not even wanting to relive the humiliating experience again.

“Fine? Do you want to do it seriously then?”

“What? No!”

“I was just joking.” He laughed and Taehyung blushed again. “You’re so cute when you’re flustered.”

“Shut up before I throw my shoe at you.”

Jungkook smiled happily, making his heart flutter. He pissed him off so much sometimes, but he couldn’t deny that he also had a huge effect on him too. But he had that effect on everyone, the one that pulled you in too far and then just ended up hurting you in the end. Taehyung was tired of letting it overcome him, just like he told himself that morning; he needed to forget.

Jungkook’s eyes widened then. “Oh crap, I almost forgot. I’ve been meaning to give you something, wait a second.”

He stood up and scrambled back towards the house, Taehyung watched him curiously. When he came back at out, he sat closer to him and handed over two tickets.

“What are these for?” Taehyung inspected them closely.

“I saw you looking at the starry night painting in my house the other night and Jae told me you liked art too. There’s a really nice gallery that I go to sometimes to look at the photography and I had extra tickets, so I wanted to give them to you.” Jungkook said. “I was thinking maybe we could go together, if you want.”

Taehyung looked at him blankly.

“I just, I just thought it would be more fun since we both like art so-”

“You should take Yuna.” He looked away. “She would really love to go to something like this.”

Jungkook stared at him. “Well what about you?”

“I’m fine, but thanks for offering.” Taehyung wanted to go, he wanted to go so badly. But he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t get any closer to Jungkook than he needed to. How they were now was fine, it was safe. They needed to stay that way for his sake and for Yuna’s as well.

He knew he was just trying to be nice, but the more he was nice, the more Taehyung took his intentions and motives the wrong way. The more he fell in too deep, the more he got hurt and conflicted in the end. He didn’t want that stress anymore, it was better just to stop while he was ahead.

They’d already gotten close enough and were getting along better like Yuna wanted; what more needed to happen? Things were fine as they were now.

They needed to stay that way.

“Oh, OK,” Jungkook sounded disappointed. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” He tucked the tickets carefully back into his pocket, then sat down slowly beside Taehyung again. Except he was a lot closer than before, their arms were practically touching.

It gradually fell silent again between them, but this quiet was so much more unbearable.

Taehyung was about to leave to escape the awkward tension, but Jungkook took his wrist suddenly and looked down at the hand that had the burn on it. “Does it feel any better?”

“Uh, y-yeah, it’s healing.” He stuttered.

Jungkook traced his fingers lightly a long his palm, making Taehyung shiver.

They made eye contact again and Taehyung held his breath; what was happening?

“You know you still owe me a kiss.” He said then.

“What?”

“You didn’t kiss me on my turn remember? You passed.”

He blushed hard. “Y-Yeah, because I didn’t want to kiss you in front of Yuna-”

“Well, Yuna isn’t here.”

Taehyung’s heart stopped and he leaned back. “Hey, can you stop joking around, it isn’t funny-”

“I’m not joking.” Jungkook took his arm, pulling him closer. “And It’s just a game anyways; we don’t have to take it seriously.”

“I-I know but-”

Jungkook tugged him forward, their lips were so close to touching again. But he just snorted and doubled over laughing, putting his forehead against his shoulder.

“Hey! What the hell, that’s not funny!” Taehyung pushed him away angrily.

“Calm down, I was just trying to break up the tension a little.” He smiled. “I’m not mad that you don’t want to come with me, so seriously, don’t worry about it alright? I can tell things get to you easily.”

Taehyung hit him. “Well if you knew that, then why did you do this!”

Jungkook smirked and gave him a light shove. “Because I wanted to.”

Taehyung grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly.

“Ow, ow! Crap! Let go-”

He reached forward and tickled him hard in his side to get him to release his grip, but Taehyung just squirmed, laughing and holding on tighter. Jungkook climbed on top of him, tickling harder, Taehyung tried to kick him away but it didn’t work.

“, are you trying to break my hand, let go.” He pressed.

“No,” He coughed, out of breath from laughing so hard. “Next time don’t pull that on me, it’s not funny-”

Taehyung locked eyes with him then and Jungkook stopped smiling, looking caught off guard too. How did things escalate so quickly? The wall that he’d just tried to put up was completely gone and it was only them in that vulnerable space. Their bodies only inches away, no one to influence their decisions or stop them from doing whatever they wanted.

But Taehyung was the one who decided to stop himself.

He let go of Jungkook’s hand and sat up slowly. “Sorry.”

Jungkook didn’t say anything. 

Taehyung stood, too afraid to look at him now. “Um, I think, I think I’m gonna head back to bed,”

He walked back towards the patio but turned around before going inside. "Just forget about what happened OK?"

Jungkook looked back at him, a conflicted look in his eyes.

"OK." He whispered.