Taehyung’s heart stopped moving immediately. “H-He just came in my room for a little to help me look for my camera and I think he left it in there.”

Yuna laughed. “OK, no need to get so scared I was just curious. Why are you so nervous?”

“I’m not, sorry.”

“Do you want me to give it back to him for you tomorrow?”

He nodded. But if she knew it was in there, why didn’t she just give it back to him a few minutes ago?

“Oh by the way,” Yuna twisted some hair around her finger. “Jungkook’s parents are coming back into the country next week, because his dad has a movie premiere. He invited me to the screening so I think I’m actually going to meet them, and I’m kind of nervous.”

Taehyung gripped his camera. “Oh.”

She tilted her head. “Didn't he tell you?”

“No.”

“What? That’s so weird, he said I could bring a guest so I figured he was talking about you. But anyways, would it be OK if you came with me? It’d be amazing to have you there for moral support.” She said then, looking hopeful.

Taehyung didn’t respond right away, he could barely think. Jungkook didn’t tell him about any of this; why? He didn’t want him near his parents? Was he that much of a burden? He clenched his teeth and looked back at Yuna. Was Jungkook really hiding behind her to hide who he was? Or was he just using Taehyung for fun; just like he did with all of those other girls.

He was planning on introducing Yuna to his parents, that meant he was serious about her right? So where did that leave him? What exactly was Taehyung to Jungkook? Just a toy?

This was the hardest feeling yet to push away, but at this point; he didn’t really matter. He needed to support Yuna and not think about himself for once. “I-I’ll come with you, you don’t have to worry.”

“Yaay!” She squealed and ran forwards, embracing him tightly. “This will be so fun, we’re going to a high class movie premiere oh my god, we could become celebrities.”

Taehyung forced himself to smile. “I think you might be getting a little too far ahead of yourself, but yeah it should be fun.”

“Ugh, can you not be such a party pooper for five seconds.” She groaned and pulled away, pinching his ear.

“Ow,” He laughed.

Yuna watched him carefully. “Have you been feeling OK by the way? A lot happened on the trip and you’ve been acting a bit different ever since.”

He ruffled her hair. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me. The end of the year is coming up so things have just been a bit stressful with school-”

“That’s literally your excuse for everything Taehyung.” She crossed her arms in a huff. “You know I’m your sister right? If there’s anything you need to talk about, you can always come to me.”

Taehyung gave her a soft look. “Yeah, I know.”

“Good.”

He remembered suddenly then amidst everything. “Hey, your birthday’s coming up soon; is there anything that you want?”

She hugged him again but more tenderly this time and buried her face in his chest. “Just for you to be happy.”

A lump stung Taehyung’s throat and he took in a shaky breath. He wasn’t going to cry, not in front of her. Not ever.

He was tired of looking weak.

“O-OK,” He hugged her tighter. “I’ll try my best.”

**

Taehyung scrubbed down the tables carefully, trying to get rid of any crumbs or leftover food remains left by customers. He was working hard at the noodle shop again, mainly just to escape his thoughts. If he was left alone with them any longer; he might go crazy.

But other than that, he was just tired of moping around and feeling bad for himself. There needed to be some sort of change in his life. Yuna wanted him to be happier, so he was trying. But why was he still holding onto the one person that was taking away his happiness?

Taehyung bit his lip; because at the same time Jungkook was the one who made him happier. But they hadn’t seen each other in a while, it seemed like Yuna was holding onto him a bit more than usual. It wasn’t really like he was hers to share in the first place. But Taehyung missed him, a lot.

Except at the same time he was better off without him.

He sighed and glanced at the clock. It was almost closing time, he’d pretty much cleaned everywhere he needed to and the customers were starting to stream out. Mr. Lee waved them off happily, glad that they’d enjoyed his food. Taehyung smiled and headed towards the back to put away his cleaning supplies.

He grabbed his jacket and bag, but his phone rang suddenly from his pocket.

“Yeah?”

“Can you come over, I’m bored.” Hoseok whined.

“I’m just leaving work right now, I’m too tired to hang out.” Taehyung muttered. “Can’t you call Yoongi?”

“I did, he just hung the phone up on me.” He groaned. “He doesn’t even want to hang out with us anymore but he’s always with Jimin, it’s annoying.”

“I thought you told him to be happy that they’re getting along.”

“Yeah, well now Jimin’s just hogging him from us and I’m pissed off.” He snapped.

Taehyung laughed. “Look, I’ll see you tomorrow alright? You’ll be fine, I promise.”

Hoseok groaned again and hung up the phone.

He rolled his eyes and left the room, saying bye to Mr. Lee before leaving the shop. It was cool out and the night felt still, silent, but also tense. He glanced behind him as he walked, kind of feeling like someone was lurking around. But he was probably just paranoid, he wasn’t exactly fond of the night.

The wind picked up slightly when Taehyung reached his car, rummaging through his bag for his keys.

Something shifted in the dark then and he snapped around.

“Who’s there?” He gripped his keys tightly, shaking in fear. Taehyung decided he didn’t want to wait and see, he unlocked the door quickly. But before he could get inside, something slammed it back closed and he felt someone against his back.

“Don’t be scared.” They whispered in his ear.

He recognized that voice.

“I just want to talk to you.”

Taehyung pushed him away and turned around again.

Jungkook smiled widely, raising his hands. “No need to be violent.”

“That’s not funny!” He tried to kick at him but he dodged the blow easily. “I was literally about to stab you in the eye with my key you idiot!”

Jungkook laughed and pulled him closer, kissing him hard.

Taehyung smiled against his lips and moved back slightly. “Why the hell are you following me around in the dark? Who told you where I worked?”

“Jimin and Jin told me a while back that they saw you working here, so I just walked to come see you.” He shrugged, putting his forehead against his.

“Oh yeah.” Taehyung sighed.

“You sound tired.”

“I am.”

Jungkook took his hand carefully. “Do you want to go back to my place? We can hang out.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, no one should be coming by. And it shouldn’t look too suspicious.” He said.

Taehyung bit his lip. “I don’t know, Hoseok just asked me to go to his place but I told him no. I’m going to feel bad saying yes to you.”

Jungkook smiled. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, I just want to spend some time with you.”

“No, no, it’s OK, I’ll come.” Taehyung took his hand carefully. “I barely get to see you anymore anyway.”

Jungkook kissed him lightly on the cheek and then they drove quietly back to his house. Taehyung could feel the familiar aching loneliness when we walked inside. He wondered how Jungkook handled being by himself in such a huge home.

“Do you want me to take your stuff?” Jungkook asked then.

“Sure.”

He wandered into the living room and sat down slowly, looking around in awe. When there weren’t so many people crowded inside, you could see more of the home’s beauty and glamour. He craned his neck and glanced up at the sparkling chandelier hanging above his head.

“Are you hungry?” Jungkook asked him again when he walked in.

Taehyung looked at him, taking in how effortlessly beautiful he just looked in a t-shirt and sweatpants. “I’m fine thanks, I’ve literally been working around food all day so the thought of it is pretty sickening.”

Jungkook smiled and sat down, encasing him in a tight hug. Taehyung lost his balance and fell back onto the couch. He rested his head on his chest.

Taehyung could feel his face turning red. “What are you doing?”

“You said you were tired right? So let’s sleep.”

He watched him blankly.

Jungkook lifted his head up. “What?”

“N-Nothing.”

He smirked. “Unless you want to do something else,”

“What-”

Jungkook moved up closer and pinned Taehyung down underneath him. He held onto his arms, kissing his lips slowly. Taehyung closed his eyes and kissed him back, melting underneath his touch.

Jungkook tugged him closer, their bodies pressed tightly against each other. He arched his back as he sent kissed down his jaw and neck. He felt his hands then, moving tentatively underneath his shirt and brushing his stomach and torso.

“I missed you,” Jungkook whispered then.

Taehyung cupped his face in his hands, bringing him back towards his lips. “I missed you too,”

He kissed him again and then sat up slowly, running a hand through his hair. Taehyung started playing with his ear. “Yuna told me, that your parents were coming back into the country this weekend.”

Jungkook froze and then moved his hand away. “Oh, yeah.”

“She wants me to come to make her more comfortable since this is her first time meeting them; is that OK?”

Jungkook glanced at him. “Yeah, it’s fine-”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Taehyung interrupted.

“I just thought,” He bit his lip. “It might be awkward, that’s all.”

Awkward.

“If it’s awkward,” Taehyung spoke slowly. “Then why are you with the both of us?”

Jungkook shook his head. “Can we not do this right now?”

But he couldn’t stop it. Taehyung needed to know. “Do you even like me Jungkook?”

“What?”

“Do you have legitimate feelings for me; or is this all just some sort of joke?” He looked directly at him. “You’ve been with Yuna this whole time, you’re even introducing her to your parents; so what does that make me then?”

Jungkook frowned at him. “Where is all of this even coming from-”

“Did you even change from before? Or do you still look at people’s emotions as a game?” He continued, his voice hard.

“Taehyung-”

“I heard you you know, in the hall that day talking to that girl. She asked you if you even cared about her; and you know what you said?” His voice cracked, but he tried to control everything that was threatening to explode. “I never gave a about you, I never gave a about anyone. So is that just what you’re doing to me? Stringing me along until you get bored? Until you just don’t care anymore-”

“Stop!” Jungkook shouted suddenly then and he flinched. “W-What kind of person do you think I am?”

“The person that you show me Jungkook, that’s the type of person that I think you are.” Taehyung spoke firmly.

“T-Then you clearly don’t know me.” He whispered back. “You don’t know anything about what’s going on, so stop assuming .”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better or something?” He sat up. “That doesn’t fix anything Jungkook!”

“What do you want me to say to you then Taehyung!” He snapped suddenly. “I-I never started dating Yuna thinking I’d meet you, but I did and I never, ever looked at it as a joke or a game. And the fact that you would even say that-”

Taehyung felt his heart drop when he looked away, a painful look on his face. Why did he even start this conversation? But now that it was out in the open, there was no way of closing it.

“I-I don’t know what I’m doing right now either, trust me. But I have to do it; you wouldn’t understand.” He whispered.

“Do you even care about Yuna Jungkook?”

He could tell those words hit him hard, Jungkook closed his eyes. “Not as much as I care about you.”

It was just like he thought. “So you’re just using her; to hide who you really are?”

Jungkook didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to.

“I know you’re scared Jungkook, just like me. But does it make you feel good to constantly around with people’s emotions like this?” Taehyung clenched his teeth. “I’m not happy about what I’m doing to Yuna either, but you keep doing this over and over again to people! You only ever think about yourself!”

“Y-You don’t get it-”

“What is there not to get? You’re a selfish ! And I knew it from the start, I should have never let you date Yuna, never!” He shouted back.

Jungkook grabbed his shirt, his hand shaking. “Do you think I like being like this? Huh? Is that what you think? I don’t! But I have to! It’s easier for you, you don’t have anything to lose compared to me! My life and your life are two totally different things! If anyone found out that I was gay do you know how badly that would reflect on my family? My parents, they’d look like an embarrassment to the whole ing country Taehyung! Y-You don’t seem to understand how badly this would ruin our lives!”

Taehyung just stared back at him silently.

“Y-You think I’m being selfish? I’m only ever thinking about the people around me, especially you.” Jungkook croaked. “You’ve been hurt enough because of me, if anyone found out we were involved like this; do you even know what would happen to you?”

He looked down, trying not to cry.

“Go ahead and tell Yuna then, tell her what we’ve been doing. She’s only going to hate you for it-”

“Don’t say that!”

Jungkook’s grip turned tighter. “Well that’s only what’s going to happen if anyone finds out about us! Everyone will hate us for it; especially me. That’s why I do what I do, that’s why things got this ed up. That’s why you think I’m an !”

Taehyung shook his head.

“If, if we want to be together; this is the only thing we can do.”

“No,” He shoved his hand away. “We could stop being ing cowards and face the world around us.”

Jungkook jaw tensed. “You might be able to do that Taehyung; but not me-”

“Then we should just end this.”

He blinked.

“Being together or whatever the this is. I don’t want it. It’s not worth it to feel like this Jungkook. We’re happy just between ourselves, but on the outside the world is just a crushing weight on us that we clearly aren’t ready for.” Taehyung said. “This is not happiness Jungkook; this is torture.”

Tears streamed down his cheeks. “Taehyung-”

“You know I’m right.” He whispered and looked away, not wanting his heart to fall apart anymore. “This was nice while it lasted yeah? Let’s just remember it as that.”

“W-Wait-”

Taehyung stood up, but didn’t turn around once to face him.

Jungkook didn’t move, just watched him go.

Why did the bad things make people feel the most good?

But why did the good things hurt people the most?

Taehyung kept walking.

Jungkook still didn’t go after him.

It was funny how quickly things changed.