Why did the bad things make people feel the most good?

When they were together, Taehyung and Jungkook just shut out the world for a second and trapped themselves inside their own bubble. Whenever they got the chance to see each other or could even be alone for five seconds, they treasured it like a secret.

But outside of that imaginary world; nothing had changed. Jungkook still dated Yuna as if everything was normal. Taehyung wanted to question it, but there was a piece of him that was too scared to. He already knew it was wrong what he was doing to his sister, but at the same time he just wanted to keep Jungkook to himself for a little bit. And if he told her what was happening, she’d hate him for sure. It wasn’t worth destroying her happiness.

He was just pretending like everything was OK. But really deep down, it was all destroying him. He didn’t understand Jungkook’s intentions, but in some way he felt like he understood them too. Taehyung knew Jungkook was just as scared as he was, he was hiding behind Yuna, using her so no one would discover who he truly was. He understood in that sense, because he’d hid for so long too.

But was that just what he wanted to believe? Either way what they were doing to her was horrible. He was supposed to protect her from harm, but behind her back he was just hurting her by being with Jungkook.

Why did the bad things make people feel the most good?

Taehyung was addicted to him. He was greedy and selfish, but he didn’t want to let go. Jungkook healed him, made him happier. Even in the smallest moments they locked eyes in the hallway or brushed hands slightly, Taehyung’s skin was set on fire. Except the guilt would eventually overtake him when he realized that he was choosing Jungkook over his own sister. And that most likely, he was the one that Jungkook was just going to hurt in the end.

“I don’t give a about you, I don’t give a about anyone.”

That was the one place Taehyung didn’t want to reach.

The thought that Jungkook didn’t even give a about him and was using him for his own pleasure.

Even though he believed it so much before; he couldn’t bring himself to believe it now. He didn’t want to. If he did; he didn’t know what would happen to him.

He would probably hate himself forever.

But how could he hate himself anymore than he already did?

“Hey.” Jungkook whispered and Taehyung snapped out of his thoughts. He glanced over and noticed that he was standing beside his locker, leaning against it casually. Taehyung scanned him quickly, he looked effortlessly good as usual, dressed in all black clothes and even a black beanie. He’d wondered when he got there.

Taehyung looked away and took his books out of his locker, shoving them into his bag. A few students glanced at them but he pretended not to notice. He looked back. “What is it? Shouldn’t you be going to class now?”

Jungkook frowned. “Did you forget?”

“About what?”

“Our date.”

Taehyung blushed. “What?”

“You said you’d go to the gallery with me after I saved your life remember?” Jungkook smiled mischievously.

Taehyung gave him a flat look. “Well I didn’t think you’d actually want to go-”

“I do.”

“Yeah well, we’re in the middle of school right now so-”

“Have you ever heard of ditching? Come on,” Jungkook stepped in front of him and closed his locker. “It opens in an hour and if we don’t get there soon, the tickets will be useless.”

Taehyung glanced around nervously at the students who were peeking at them. Why the hell would he do this here? “What about Yuna, she needs to be driven home.”

“Don’t worry,” Jungkook flicked some hair out of his eye. “I already asked Jin to drive her and I told her what we’re doing too.”

“Oh, OK.”

“So are you ready or not?” He asked.

Taehyung slung his bag around his shoulder. “Fine.”

“Awesome.” Jungkook walked ahead of him and he studied his back carefully, falling deep into thought again.

How did he really feel about him?

Taehyung wasn’t sure if he was asking that to himself; or Jungkook.

“Hey,” He caught up to him. “Do you think we could stop at my place so I can get my camera?”

Jungkook smiled. “Of course.”

His heart stopped, the wall breaking down all over again. Taehyung loved it when he smiled.

They took their cars and drove back towards his apartment. It’d been almost a month since they first kissed on the trip, time felt like it passed so quickly. But at the same time it felt excruciatingly and painfully slow. When they arrived, Taehyung climbed out and walked towards the house, he noticed Jungkook was following him.

“Is it OK if I come inside?” He asked carefully.

Taehyung smiled now. “Of course.”

When they got inside Taehyung took his hand and they walked towards his room. He let go of it to put his bag down and search through his drawers for the camera. Jungkook just leaned against the wall, looking around curiously.

“Sorry, it’s kind of messy in here.” He said awkwardly, pulling the case out.

“No, it’s fine.” Jungkook walked over to v the picture frames hanging off of the wall by his bed. “I kind of like the way you decorated it.”

Taehyung watched him inspect the one family portrait carefully. Yuna was just a baby when the photo was taken while Taehyung was two. They were on a trip to Jeju Island with his mom and dad, Taehyung could barely remember it but he loved the picture. They all just looked so happy. His mom especially, she was sparkling like Yuna was when she was with Jungkook.

Taehyung’s stomach dropped and he turned away, picking up his tiger necklace that he’d gotten on a class trip to New York a few years back. He walked in front of Jungkook, diverting his view from the picture.

“Can you put this on for me?” He asked softly.

Jungkook took it from him and he turned around, closing his eyes. The metal was cool against neck as he placed it on, clasping the back. But Jungkook didn’t pull away, he wrapped his arms around Taehyung’s waist and placed his chin in the crook of his neck.

They were completely alone for once, that was rare. But it felt nice.

Jungkook planted soft kisses on his neck and behind his ear and Taehyung melted immediately. He turned around and pulled him closer, their lips connecting abruptly. Taehyung took off his hat, wanting to tangle his fingers in his hair like he always did when they kissed.

Jungkook pushed him back against the wall and Taehyung breathed into his lips, holding on tighter. He laughed then and kissed him lightly, pulling away. Jungkook took his hand and kissed his fingers softly. “I think if you pull my hair any harder I might lose it.”

Taehyung blushed in embarrassment. “Sorry.”

He stepped back and looked down at the time on his phone. “We should get going.”

“OK.”

Jungkook took his hand again and lead him back towards the door. But he let go as soon as Taehyung reached for it, before they went out into the open; that’s just how it was.

“I’ll drive you OK?” Jungkook said as he walked towards his car.

Taehyung nodded and climbed into the passenger seat beside him. He reclined back, wanting to get some sleep in before they got there, but instead he just watched Jungkook drive quietly. Taehyung reached his hand up and played with his ear, he didn’t even look bothered too much by it.

He smiled. “You’re really cute by the way.”

Jungkook glanced at him. “Thanks, that was kind of random.”

“Just thought you should know.”

He laughed.

They drove in silence for the rest of the trip. Taehyung sat up when they neared closer to the gallery. He’d seen the place a few times, but never really had enough time or money to go inside. Just looking at it made him feel broke, there were beautiful gold pillars that surrounded the entrance and the whole building was made up of an expensive looking rustic grey stone.

Jungkook parked and he climbed out, feeling excited. Taehyung grabbed his arm and dragged quickly him inside. When they got in, a neatly dressed man was waiting by the front door to them further and Jungkook handed him his tickets with a charming smile.

Taehyung wondered how often he used that on people just for impact, because it definitely worked. The man nodded at him and led them towards a closed off exhibit, he pulled open the door and gestured for them to go inside.

He walked in, not really sure what to expect but was happy when he saw it. The lights were dim and there was a long bronze hallway lined with beautiful, colourful paintings. Taehyung pulled out his camera and started taking pictures immediately. Jungkook bent down in one of the frames and made a peace sign, photobombing his first picture.

He gave him a flat look. “Can you please move.”

Jungkook pouted. “I thought I was the view.”

Taehyung smiled and kept walking down the hall, wanting to take everything in. Jungkook followed behind and watched him closely. He glanced back. “Are you not going to take pictures?”

“I’ve been here too often, so I’ve pretty much seen everything.” He pointed at one of the paintings then, it was was a large impression work of sunflowers blowing in a pale green field. “I don’t know why, but looking at this now, it kinda reminds me of you and your aesthetic. Just calming but also deep, like there’s more to it than meets the eye.”

Taehyung looked at it carefully and then heard a click behind him. He turned around again and Jungkook smiled, lowering his phone. “That’s the only picture I need right now.”

He shoved him lightly and Jungkook laughed. They walked ahead further into the exhibit and looked at more of the paintings, sculptures, and photographs. Taehyung took pictures of pretty much everything, including Jungkook too when he wasn’t looking. He liked the way he looked inspecting the art, there was something attractive about it.

He sighed. Just being there with him alone without worry felt nice, but it was kind of hard to stay focused on anything when people kept glancing over. Jungkook stood out that much.

A girl walked over to them then. She was really pretty, Taehyung felt immediately intimidated.

She gave Jungkook a very seductive look and he just looked boredly back at her. “Hi, I was just wondering if you by any chance had a girlfriend?”

Taehyung’s stomach dropped and he glanced nervously at him.

Jungkook just nodded at her. “Yeah, I do. Sorry.”

“Oh,” Her face fell. “OK then.”

Taehyung was caught off guard when she turned to him. “And what about you?”

“U-Um, no, I don’t actually.” He said awkwardly, trying hard not to look at Jungkook as he did.

“Awesome,” She took his hand slowly and wrote her number on his palm. “Call me sometime. My name is Ara, what’s yours?”

“Taehyung-”

Jungkook stepped in then, looking annoyed. “Sorry, but we need to go.”

The girl was about to say something else, but Jungkook pulled him away, his grip on his arm tight. Taehyung jumped slightly when he looked back at him. “Are you feeling hungry?”

“Yeah, kind of.”

“OK,” He sighed, letting go of his arm. “Is there anywhere else in here you want to visit before we leave?”

Taehyung shook his head. “No, I think I have enough pictures.”

“Great,” Jungkook walked ahead of him, but this time Taehyung didn’t try catching up. It made him feel like when Jungkook told the girl he was dating Yuna; but else was he really supposed to say? That was just the truth.

Taehyung looked at his back again.

So was this just a lie?

**

Jungkook drove them to a burger place just a few minutes away from the gallery. After they ordered, they went back into his car and he took them to a quiet park to eat. Jungkook parked and turned off the engine, running a hand through his hair.

“Oh , I just realized I don’t have my hat. Where is it?” He asked.

Taehyung remembered then. “I took it off back in my room, so I think we accidentally left it there.”

“That might look suspicious,” He bit his lip. “Just hide it when you get back and give it back to me tomorrow OK?”

He chewed on his fry.

Jungkook looked at him. “OK?”

“OK.” He pressed.

His eyes lingered on him for a while before he finally looked away. “So are you going to call that girl?”

“Why do you care.” Taehyung muttered.

Jungkook gave his head a quick tilt and pushed his tongue against the side of his mouth.

The tension was annoying and obvious, but no one wanted to reach it. Taehyung didn’t want a fight right now, but he knew eventually it would be inevitable, and it killed him.

He just wanted to enjoy this a little bit longer.

He just wanted to be selfish.

“Sorry,”

Jungkook closed his eyes. “It’s fine.”

Taehyung looked out the window and ate slowly, watching the kids play happily in the park far away from them. His skin tingled when he felt Jungkook’s hand in his hair then, running his fingers through softly.

“I feel like I don’t really know you.” He said suddenly before he could catch himself.

Jungkook’s hand stopped moving. “Well what do you want to know?”

“I don’t know,” Taehyung knew exactly, but he didn’t want to say anything. “Just tell me anything about yourself.”

“Well,” He contemplated. “You promise you won’t laugh if I tell you?”

“No, why would I laugh?”

“OK,” Jungkook took his hand, a small smile at the edge of his lips. “Other than photography, I really like music. And one of my favourite American artists is Justin Bieber.”

Taehyung smiled. “I actually really like his music too.”

His eyes widened. “Really? When I told Yuna or any of my friends that I liked him, they just laughed at me. But his music is actually really catchy.”

Taehyung laughed. “Yeah, it is.”

“What kind of music do you like?”

“I really like jazz or alternative actually. I like old music too, Frank Sinatra is a really good artist.” He replied, thinking a bit harder.

“Whoa,” Jungkook chuckled. “You’re really cool.”

He blushed. “Thanks.”

They talked for a long time, about the things they loved and hated. It was just them in that space, every word mattered, and they both listened to each other closely. Taehyung could listen to him talk all day. When he started talking about video games he was like a kid in a candy store, he thought it was really cute. They had so much in common, but at the same time they were so opposite too. It was a perfect but weird contrast.

Taehyung played with his ear again as he spoke, just admiring everything about him, his brown eyes, nose, lips-

Jungkook stopped then and looked over at him, their eyes meeting again.

He remembered the first time when their eyes met in the hallway. When he took the rose from him to give to Yuna.

He hated him so much in that moment. But now, things were so much different.

Jungkook leaned forward and kissed him carefully. Every time they kissed it felt like a new experience, better than the last time. He put his hand on his cheek and moved closer, opening his mouth. Taehyung felt his tongue and pushed further, his hands running down his chest slowly. Jungkook’s fingertips brushed against his stomach, making Taehyung’s skin warm.

The car and clothes were like a barrier to them, but Taehyung was thankful in someway that they were there. He wasn’t sure how far he could go with him before regretting it.

He pulled away, breathing heavily and sat back in his seat.

Jungkook his lips and looked away. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, I should probably get back.”

“OK.”

He started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. Taehyung closed his eyes when he felt his hand on his leg, rubbing it slowly. They drove in comfortable silence. By the time they got back to his place, the sun was beginning to set and he could barely stay awake.

“We’re here.” Jungkook poked his cheeks and he sat up.

“Thanks for today, it was really nice.” Taehyung said softly. He wanted to kiss him again just to say goodbye, because he knew they wouldn’t be alone like that for a while. Except it was too risky.

“No problem,” Jungkook smiled, looking like he wanted to kiss him just as badly as he did.

Taehyung stepped out just as Yuna came from the house. She gave Taehyung a small smile. “Did you guys have fun at the gallery?”

He nodded. “Yeah, it was really pretty there.”

“That’s nice.”

Jungkook climbed out and smiled at her. “Hey, was the ride with Jin OK?”

“Mhm,” She walked passed him and embraced Jungkook. Taehyung didn’t even want to turn around, but he forced himself to. They kissed for a long time and he felt sick to his stomach.

What was he doing?

Taehyung shook his head. No, he didn’t want to think about that right now. He couldn’t.

Not yet.

Yuna pulled away. “I’ll see you tomorrow OK?”

“Yeah.”

They watched as he got back into his car and drove down the street. Taehyung tried his best not to throw up. Yuna went back inside and Taehyung followed slowly behind her, just looking down at the pictures on his camera to distract the growing guilt.

“So was it fun?” She asked as she sat down on the couch.

He glanced up her. “Yeah, it was.”

“Did you come back home to get your camera?”

“Mhm.” Taehyung started to walk towards the kitchen.

“Well you forgot something.” Her words stopped him.

He looked back.

She was holding Jungkook’s hat.

“What was this doing in your room?”