Previous chapter:

Your hopes perked up a bit when you thought he was about to say he bought movie tickets for the both of you to watch together. If he had said that, you wouldn’t have cared what movie he picked.

He changed his mind at the last minute, and said it was for the hope of love between Yoseob and you. Even worse, he picked the movie you’ve been wanting to watch the most...but waited for Dongwook to invite you.

Why?

You weren’t sure.

All you knew was that, the moment Seven left after giving you the movie tickets, the moment you thanked him happily and said you’d watch it with someone, you felt an emptiness next to you, an emptiness that was filled just a moment ago. You weren’t supposed to feel it when Dongwook left. This was the first time. It was as if...

As if he was prepared to leave and never see you again.

Suddenly, you felt unprepared, not ready to see him leave, not ready to let him go.

{Maybe I love you.}

Chapter 16:

{One wouldn’t know the feeling of being in love...}

Seven groaned as his phone vibrated for the tenth time that hour. He picked it up from the counter and slid the back cover off, pulling the battery out. He threw both the phone and the battery onto the couch before pulling a tall clear glass from the pantry and setting it on the table. Grabbing the water pitcher from the side counter, he poured himself half a glass of water, and gulped it down in one shot. He let out a deep breath, and the glass clanked upon contact with the table as he set it down a little bit too hard.

Yes, Seven was pissed. In fact, this was one of the first times this year Seven managed to lose composure, seeing that it was quite rare for him to lose it in the first place. However, it was understandable for him to lose control of himself at such a crucial time. Just the thought of what happened yesterday made Seven want to crawl into a hole and just hide there forever. He was almost fed up with his own behavior, yielding his one and only love to some other guy thinking that he would treat her better. It was obvious that if Seven had Jay in his hands, he would treat her as if she were the only girl in the world.

Yoseob, on the other hand, was doing a hell of a good job at reminding Seven of his mistake. He had already texted Seven every 7 minutes with the same question, the question merely rephrased each time.

“How did yesterday go?”

“Did yesterday’s confession go well? ;D”

“What did she tell you yesterday? o-o”

“How did you confess? ;3”

“Should I say congratulations? ^-^”

Seven had not been able to take the painful reminder of his stupid decision every seven minutes and had come to the conclusion that instead of replying to Yoseob’s texts, it would be smarter to throw a tantrum with his phone -- literally, as anyone might have noticed.  Yoseob was quite oblivious though, aside from the evil plans he manages to execute from time to time, and Seven felt it was wrong to put all the blame on an innocent kid like Yoseob. He was Yoseob, for gods sake.

Feeling down, Seven plopped into the depths of his couch and pressed the power button on the TV remote before throwing the remote to the side. Maybe some TV would help. It took him only several seconds, not even enough time to settle down, before Seven realized he wanted to turn off the TV again.

He forced a chuckle as he watched his very own performance come to light.

“Naega modeunkeol irheodo nae ingiga tteoreojyeodo    

Deo isang norael mothago dareun jikeobeul kajyeodo

Naraneun iyumaneuro nal kyesok saranghae jul su inni”

“Even if I lose everything, if my popularity drops

Even if I can’t sing, if I get a different job

Will you still be able to love me for who I am?”

He remembered the first time he had gotten an inspiration to write this song. It was one of those casual days when Jay stopped by Seven’s house for a little snack after her school hours. Seven always thought it was okay to leave Jay alone, okay to let her date other guys and experience what every high school girl deserved. Obviously, he didn’t take it very well when Jay began to fangirl over the comebacks that have been exploding at that time, including Big Bang’s solo artists Taeyang and GD, Rocker Jung Joonyoung, and handsome guy Roy Kim. But other than that, Seven never lost the hope that he might just be noticed not as an older brother who could sing, but as a man who could love and protect her.

And sadly, that day in which he would be noticed never came, and Seven realized that soon enough, he could possibly be letting go of that ounce of hope he had tried so hard to hang onto for the past ten years. Even recently, he had been noticing himself succumb to the feeling of giving up, and he knew the day would come soon. Not wanting to listen to his own depressing song anymore, Seven got up to get the remote - which he admitted he never should have thrown across the living room - until an exploding sound rang out of nowhere.

“Let’s talk about love! Let’s talk about you, mhm, let’s talk about me!”

Seven swore he almost got a heart attack when it started playing. He looked back at his TV screen and his grip loosened on the remote, dropping it back down onto the couch with a thud. It was that time already. The time in which that man would re-enter his life.

...No, it was not the end of Seven’s life....and no, that man was not his ex-boyfriend....but still.

The call was as important as life or death and Seven knew it was a call that needed serious consideration: to pick up, or to not pick up was the question. However, he figured he’d be in deep trouble with everyone if he ever rejected this man’s call. After all, he had connections. After a second’s hesitation, he walked up to the TV screen, pressed the button, and accepted the incoming call. The small alert tone of Skype connecting, played loudly in Seven’s living room and Seven stepped back, taking a seat on his couch as he waited for everything to load.

“...”

“...”

“...Hyung!” Seven laughed sheepishly. “It’s..been forever since I’ve seen you! I watched your two new music videos yesterday. LA Song and 30y, right?”

Seven watched as the man gave him an annoyed look.

“It has been a really long time, hasn’t it. How come you haven’t contacted me at all since my discharge?”

Seven scratched his head lightly. Think of an answer, think of an answer. He tried hard to keep a straight face as he repeated the man’s question to himself over and over. The man on the other line laughed as he could almost literally see the wheels in Seven’s head turning, trying desperately to think up a reason for not calling him.

“I’m just messing around with you, Wook.”

Seven smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he let out a breath of relief. He knew this man loved to joke but his serious side was, in all reality, deadly, if not more deadly than his own reprimands towards his juniors.

“But, all jokes aside, would you care to explain?”

Seven cleared his throat.

“Bi-hyung, I have no idea what you’re talking about. What do you want me to explain?”

“Don’t pull that ‘I-don’t-know’ thing on me. I want to know why one of my trainees reached the #1 search term for a whole three weeks and why she already has an illegitimate fanbase.” Rain raised an eyebrow. “You know that doesn’t just randomly happen in the middle of nowhere.”

“W-well, Happy New Year! New Year..Yeah, New Years, it’s like a New Year’s gift, right?” Seven blurted out, speaking nonsense. However, he shut up as if on cue as he came face to face with Rain’s tense expression. “Okay, okay. I get it. I’ll tell you.”

“Though it’s all over the internet anyway,” He muttered to himself.

Rain’s glare got Seven chuckling a forced smile at the camera.

“First, I’d like to say that none of it is my fault. Jay just happened to initiate a singing contest with the love of her life or something. You know I wouldn’t have approved to something like that.”

Seven pasted on his ‘You-know-what-I-mean’ look. Rain pretended he didn’t see it.

“And yet I assume she came running to you and you provided her with refuge.”

“What else could I do after witnessing a girl barge into my shop and hide underneath my cash register?”

"Not just any girl, in my opinion." Rain murmured before he continued on. “Pulling her out could have been a good idea.”

“Yoseob burst in before I could even do anything, you know.”

“Ah, so Yoseob was the guy she was in love with? That cute boy with abs, if I remember correctly. I was waiting for you to tell me but it seemed like you didn’t want to admit it yourself."

“Oh crap, I just said something I shouldn’t have.”

“No worries. I think Yoseob’s a pretty good guy.”

Rain shrugged with an ‘I could care less’ look on his face. The on and off conversation immediately came to a stop as Seven’s face paled in response to Rain’s approval of Yoseob. Rain noticed the change and couldn’t help but chuckle. Teasing Seven was just such a fun thing to do.

“But, you’re a nice guy too.” Rain said, ending the awkward silence with a grin.

Seven failed to keep up his poker expression and his eyes sparkled as if he was once more revived, if it was possible to be revived when still living. Rain sighed.

“Looks like it’s gotten worse.”

Seven stared blankly at the TV screen, unhappy to accept Rain’s words as the truth though he knew for a fact that they were.

“Sorry, man. Wish there was something I could do for you...” Rain’s voice faltered off.

Seven struggled to smile.

“If it’s not much, you could keep that ‘No Dating’ rule thing in effect for a while longer.”

Rain raised an eyebrow.

“That would mean you would be crossed off the list of potential boyfriends too, you know. Are you sure about that?”

Seven shrugged before making eye contact with the camera.

“Well, it’s always been that way, hasn’t it?”

Rain remained silent.

“I’m honestly getting tired of faking my smiles. I promise myself every time that it will be my last, but who am I really kidding?”

This time, both sides of the call were silent as they shared a moment of understanding. Understanding the situation his junior was in was one of the painful moments of being a sunbae. Rain wanted to do something for Seven, but for the first time in a while, he didn’t know what to do to make things better. There was nothing for him to do. All he could really do is sit back and watch. Wait and see what unfolds. Hope it doesn’t hurt Seven more than it already has.

He’s once heard of a man who passed away of heartbreak. Rain hoped it wasn’t true.

{...Until he’s experienced the pain.}