Summer end faster than she thought. At the beginning of autumn, Eunji and the APINK girls were busy with upcoming comeback promotions. She also heard that INFINITE going to have the same time promotion with them again. Not like before, Eunji was always happy having an overlapping promotion with INFINITE, but this time she feels like want to run away instead of having the same promotion time with him. She knows, she just scared. She feels insecure that Kim Sunggyu will just ignore her and she’ll break. Everyone of course surprised by the fact that she’s acting differently. But then again, she hasn’t been herself in the past 6 months, so they just let it go.

Finally, the comeback day was coming, at the beginning of October. INFINITE already having their comeback a week earlier than Apink. Eunji’s feeling so nervous and keep pacing back and forth while trying to control her panic attack. Since it’s their first stage, everyone just as same as her, nervous too, so it’s not that obvious that she freaks out on her own. The rehearsals and comeback stage was successful, at least she wasn’t making any particular mistake. Then there's come thing she hates, starts from this day. Greeting Sunbae, which is mean INFINITE and Kim Sunggyu. She has to take her pills before making round to greet them because she feels nauseous and anxious.

When they were finally standing in front of their waiting room, Eunji has this urges to run away from that place. Chorong has to drag her along the way because she keeps retreating back. Just then INFINITE comes out and stands before her. They greet them and bow courteously. She wished they’d go right away after the formal greetings. But Chorong has this conversation with Howon. Eunji doesn’t know what they’re talking about, it seems rather serious. The moments she’s tearing her attention away from Howon and Chorong, her eyes land it in his eyes. She looks down right away, slowly moving beside Hayoung and Namjoo who seem to have an entertaining talk. She pretends to join them, but she could feel Sunggyu still looking into her direction. She bites her lips getting more nervous than before. She can’t be like this or everyone will get suspicious, but the moment she turns into his direction again, he’s no longer there. She feels her stomach twisted. Did he just leave? Just like that? She could feel her breath hitched. No. No. She can’t have another episode in here, not in the middle public broadcast backstage. She leans on the wall beside her while facing the wall, trying to calm herself. But it’s not getting better. Just then—

“Come here...” a hand drag her inside the room. “Hyung, can you hand me that oxygen mask..” it’s sound like Sunggyu. “Ji, calm down... breath in and out slowly...” He says again, but she can’t calm down, she was in the panic state where she can’t breathe. “Hey.. hey.. look at me... look at me, relaxed..” she looks at him. He looks so worried.

“Now breath in and out slowly..” he said again while putting oxygen mask covered and nose. She still can’t breathe. She feels like crying as she leaning to him. Sunggyu’s other hand caressing her back slowly. She can’t really hear of anything. But she was sure there’s a bit chaotic. Slowly she starts to relax and breathing slightly normal. She feels so much better than before. “Yes, that’s how you do it, just do it slowly...” His voice again.

Slowly really slowly she finally opens her eyes as her breath become more, more stable than before. She pulls away from the mask and looks around her disoriented for several seconds, then there’s her managers, INFINITE's manager, and staff, also her members. Everyone looking at her so worried. And another thing she notices the door was closed. Well, she’s pretty sure, she made a quite scene earlier.

“Are you okay now? How do you feel?” Her manager asking her. She nods. Then Sunggyu hand in her a bottle of water. She finally looks at him. He looks so worried but he tried to look calm down.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

“Yeah, I'm feeling better now..” Eunji said weakly afterward.

“God, you scare the hell out of me Ji..” Howon walks toward her and enveloping her in a bear hug.

“Yah.. yah.. you’re going to suffocates her..” Sunggyu peels off Howon from her in rather a possessive manner.

“Woah relaxed hyung.. she’s going to be fine..” Howon rolled his eyes at him.

“Says you the one who freaking out a minutes ago..” Sunggyu retorted at him. Eunji still in the daze though. She’s feeling slightly dizzy. Seem that he notices it. “Are you ok?” He asks softly from beside her. She nodded lightly. She can’t get used to this, him being so sweet and care for her, again. She really didn’t want to get her hope high again. She’s still in the middle of her therapy sessions. She needs to get herself together and be strong in front of him.

“Oppa lets get back. I think I’ll need some sleep..” She finally said to her manager while reaching out her hands to Chorong. Then greetings and bid everyone goodbye. Maybe she needs to see Dr. Park tonight.

***

The therapy sessions with Dr. Park end up with her crying a river, as she told her everything about her struggles. She’s never really open up like this before to her. She always manages to get away and diverting it to different topic whenever dr. Park starts to dig those part of the story from her. But today was a pretty bad day, she can’t even handle herself in front of him. Even she hates to admit it, but he was the source all her happiness and sadness. Her doctor agrees with her though. She suggests that she should decrease her pill and concentrate more to find another source of motivation, like writing jour