A smile crossed Yoongi’s lips as he re-watched a video of Yoonsung as a baby. It was when he was about a year old and had yet to learn how to walk. He was on the ground and crawling quickly around all over the living room. “Yoonsung-ah.” called out Inhye’s voice from behind the camera. “Come over here.”

Yoongi could see her hand in the frame of the video and she was waving for him to come back to her. In the background, he could see bits of the living room of the home of his parents. The baby turned to face her with a toothy grin. He crawled back to his mother with much excitement and strange, but cute baby noises that caused Inhye to let out a long laugh. Yoongi joined in on the laughing with a low chuckle as he watched his son. The baby finally made his way to his mother with a happy laugh. The video ended abruptly and pulled the man back to the present.

He had asked Inhye to send him as many videos and pictures of Yoonsung’s growth over the years as she could. Although Yoongi had finally made the time and effort to be apart of his son’s life, there was still the glaring fact that he had missed out on everything. His memories of Yoonsung were so clouded by his previous grudge against him that he couldn’t even fully remember when the kid had first learned how to even smile, let alone crawl or walk. Regret began to settle in Yoongi’s bones as he watched the video again. Laughter no longer filled the air as it had previously done. Instead, there was a thick atmosphere of sadness that loomed over him. There were a few videos of Yoonsung that he had saved on his phone, but this particular one especially tugged the strings of his heart. The man couldn’t help himself from watching the video over and over again on the rest of his train ride back to Daegu.

“It seemed like you haven’t been eating again.” stated Mrs. Min. Yoongi’s mother was clearly upset at him as she casted him a gaze the moment he stepped into the kitchen. He grabbed a cab at the transit station when he got off the train and went straight home. He wasn’t sure if anyone was home and let himself in with his copy of the the keys to their house, only to be surprised by his mother. She had come home early only to make a home cooked meal especially for him.

“It’s only because I’ve been busy, Mom.” he defended.

She let out a heavy sigh and shook her head. “I know, but you can’t starve yourself all the time like this.” she said. “I’ve noticed that Miyoung didn’t come with you this time. Is she busy lately?”

“Yeah, she is.” he quickly answered.

The truth was that he told her about his trip home, but he didn’t invite her to join him. He usually visited his parents at least once every 3 months or so, but his purpose to come home this time around wasn’t just to visit them. He wanted to break the news of him reaching out to form a relationship with his son face to face. Although he knew that his parents would disagree with his decision, he thought it was best that they knew about it regardless. He wasn’t seeking support from them. All he wanted was for them to be informed and aware that Yoonsung was in his life again.

Mrs. Min let out a long sigh. “That’s unfortunate. I wanted to see her.” she said. “When will you two get married so then I will actually get to see her every time you come back home?”

Yoongi just smiled at his mother and shook his head. “Not any time soon.”

His mother glared at him. “When will either you or your older brother get married and give me grandchildren? I will probably die before I ever get to hold any of your children.”

Yoongi forced the smile he directed at his mother. “You’ll just have to wait, Mom.” he said, trying his best not to let frustration color the tone of his voice. “I’m going to go rest for a bit before dinner.” His mother returned back to the pot of kimchi soup she was stirring with an OK.

He felt his heart become heavy again as he climbed upstairs to his bedroom. The Mins have always disregarded Yoonsung’s existence after the divorce. They hated him basically for being born and they hated Inhye even more for shaming their family by bringing the child to life. Inhye’s mother waltzed into their family restaurant during a busy lunch rush in January years ago only to expose Yoongi of his indecent ways with Inhye and how he ended up impregnating her. The woman demanded a marriage between Yoongi and Inhye and that was what she got by the end of the month because Mr. and Mrs. Min needed to save their faces. Customers, near by shop keepers, and neighbors began to talk about the news and they needed to do something quick to stop rumors from emerging. Yoonsung’s birth was never welcomed nor was he ever truly considered a grandchild of the Mins even if he bore their family name.

Yoongi quickly set his backpack by his bedside and stared around his room after closing his bedroom door. It was in this room where his ex-wife and Yoonsung had spent all of their nights in the duration of their 2 year stay at the Min residence. They slept mostly on a futon on the ground, where Inhye probably felt the most comfortable after Yoongi told her that he hated the idea of the two of them sharing a bed after being married. Neither did Inhye nor the child had much belongings. Yoonsung had very few clothes and toys as a baby. He only had the bare necessities and, yet, Yoongi felt like it took up so much room back then.

The pump was always on Yoongi’s desk along with various pieces of Yoonsung’s worn clothes and clean diapers that used to be stored on there. At times, Inhye would leave half filled bottles of her milk or dirty bibs on his precious shelves of CDs and he would get so angry at her. At one point, Inhye had hung up the only printed 5x7 picture of Yoonsung on his 100th day celebration on one of the walls in this room. Yoongi thought it was pathetic to even bother hanging such a picture, but never bothered to verbally comment on it.

In its present day state, Yoongi’s room was what it once was when he left Daegu for Seoul at a young age. There were absolutely no traces of the mother and son left. The moment the divorce was finalized, he and his family had thrown out every single thing that was left behind by them. If anything at all, it was almost as if the two of them had never walked over the threshold of their front door.

“Yoongi?” asked his older brother, announcing that he was home. There was a small knock at his bed room door.

“Yeah?” he responded as he pulled the door open.

There stood his older brother, Geumjae, with a taller frame than his. When Yoongi was younger, he had always thought that his older brother was the perfect son compared to him. Geumjae was taller, smarter, more handsome, more filial, and always did everything that their parents told him to do. It truly wasn’t until they were adults, when Yoongi was married with a crying baby in his arms, that he truly realized how burdening their parents’ high expectations of Geumjae were. There was something about being the second child that Yoongi got away with meanwhile it wasn’t the same with his older brother. That was why Geumjae was so prim and proper when compared to him. Where Yoongi was laid back was where he was uptight with. Where Geumjae was laid back, Yoongi didn’t give a single .

“Coming down for dinner?” smiled the older brother.

Yoongi let out a chuckle. “Do you expect me to starve myself?”

“If you brought your laptop, then yes.” laughed Geumjae.

Yoongi learned that it was best to never bring home his laptop during his visits home because he’d always end up producing beats for a new track. Although his mother did support him and his career, she didn’t like how easily he got engrossed in it and would miss meals. She hated it when he did that. He had lost a lot of weight over the years due to his lack of food intake due to his mismanagement of time, but he didn’t mind. He rather intake coffee over food when he produces music due to the caffeine content and for simplicity’s sake.

The pair of brothers headed down stairs for the dinner that his mother was making. His father would probab