Alone, his eyes were dark, deep voids of emotion. With others his eyes were masked with joyous laughter and crescent smiles. The walls he built around them were so thick that they managed to hide away all his true feelings for the past 2 years.

That's why the mere thought of even looking at that note overwhelmed him with anxiety. The sight itself caused Kyungsoos breathing to speed up and leave his lungs. The two years he had to try and move on from his heartbreak, was actually spent with his mind slowly convincing him to kill himself.

"Like a virus, self hatred can spread to fast for the body and mind to comprehend." This was something Baekhyun's boyfriend, Daehyun, would always remind him when he was open with his struggles. Call him crazy but Kyungsoo always thought Daehyun was at least a little bipolar or had mutiple personas, considering the fact that he could be a literal child one moment, then shoving knowledge down the throat of anyone around.

Yet, in Kyungsoo's case, not only had he developed self hatred, but certain "voices" corrupted his mind. One would hiss "Your such a damn good for nothing " at the same time another would holler "ing die already!" He'd twitch often, causing stares to be thrown his way.

If he would make any kind of eye contact, he'd divert his eyes immediately. Confrontation gave him a shake in the hands. Its not like people really paid attention to him anyway. After Chanyeol left, rumors ruptured throughout the whole town. Some would say he was tired of the same town, others would say it was relationship problems. Most people even went so far as to praise Chanyeol for sparing Kyungsoo's feelings.

Kyungsoo didn't mind them talking at first, rumors would spread no matter what. Yet, when people started saying that the Parks were the cause for Chanyeol leaving all hell broke lose.

Yoora had walked Kyungsoo to school, just like she had been doing for the past 3 months. He appreciated the company and she appreciated him asking her too. One of Chanyeols ex girlfriends, whom hated the fact that Chanyeol would pay attention to his family more than her, scoffed.(Lmao I'm writing this and I wanna beat her myself)

Kyungsoo looked at her, glaring daggers, daring her to speak one word. Yooras face held the same deathly expression.

The girl, Jiyeon, just laughed it off and said, quite loudly so her friends and the two could hear, "Maybe the Parks arent a happy family like we all thought. I mean when I was with Chanyeol, he always looked uncomfortable around his family."

"What are you saying, Jiyeon?" One of her followers asked.

"I mean, I'm not one to expose someone," she said looking to Yoora, "but abuse sounds about right. He did come out, did he not?" The sound of innocence she mocked drove Yoora to the edge.

"You little ! Why I oughta-" Kyungsoo grabbed her hand and shook his head. "Don't worry Yoora, I can handle it." A smirk played on his face. He wasn't one for physical pain, especially when it's a girl, but Kyungsoo knew alot. The things he knew could ruin anyone at any time.

"Oh Jiyeon noona" Kyungsoo squealed. The girls face etched into a  terrified expression. The assumption that Kyungsoo's state would stop him from trying anything obviously was wiped from everyones mind.

"Y-Yes, Kyungsoo-ah?"

"We can talk about abuse if you want." Her cheeks tinted pink. If he opened his mouth, people would not only not like her, but they would know why she acted so homophobic.

"O-Oh no. It's fine. I'll just go t-to class now." She smiled and walked away.

"How?" Yoora looked to see a glint in Kyungsoo's eyes. He looked so intimidating in that moment.

"Magic." He whispered, hugged her and walked away to class.

A feeling of admiration and pride filled Yooras chest. "That's my little brother, alright."

No one dared to even speak on the topic in front of Kyungsoo. Jiyeon was a strong and boastful person. Seeing Kyungsoo break her pride scared the actual out of everyone.

Though now that he thinks about it, the more corruption his head withheld, the less intimidating he seemed to get. He'd still ask Yoora, who'd still comply.
--- --- ---

Reminiscing on old memories proved no good. They'd only made him realize that he needed Chanyeol now more than ever. Emotional support wasn't anything Kyungsoo thought he'd crave, yet as he took heavy steps towards the door, he knew that was a flat out lie.

The creek of the floorboards set an eery mood. The dust that fell from the old decaying ceiling landed in front of the depressed boy, as he began taking small hesitant steps towards the dented trunk sat deep away in the corner.

After he opened it, he shoved all the pictures away. Each smile a taunting memory tugging at his heart strings. Every hug and kiss zooming in and out of his mind. Fluorescent flares in the window, heartful smiles, lovable giggles, everything.

Taking a sharp breath, he gripped the sides of the letter and read, ignoring every single tear that slipped over his eyes.

Kyungsoo, my dearest Kyungsoo, I honestly don't know how to start this off. First off, I'll start with saying I'm sorry. Don't think for a second this is your fault. Its no where near your fault, nor did I ever stop loving. I left because I needed to. That town just kept messing with my mind.

I was just so fed up with always seeing the same faces, the same signs, the same stores, etc. They really did tire me out after 20 years of the same thing.

The only thing that I never got tired of was you. I'd always loved the ability you had. The ability to make me smile even at my worst times. That's why I could never leave you.

This is a lot that I'm about to say, but please promise me this. You cannot tell anyone about this letter. Youre the only one I'm giving a letter.

I never planned on leaving you, but when I left you were just getting your life started. Your cafe picked up popularity, and you were so happy.

But alas I couldn't leave my beloved squishy behind! That's why I want you to be prepared. Your knight in shining armor will come and get you.

Just you wait Soo!

Love youuuu!

Your Yoda, Chanyeol

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