It was a little stormy that afternoon. The usually bright, sunny sky was a light grayish color. The clouds moved freely. The wind blew harshly at the boys disheveled hair. Kyungsoo didn't mind it though.

It was his admiration for things people found sad or unfortunate that deemed him the outcast among his peers. He'd thought that growing older would mean the title would suddenly dissapear, yet much to his disappointment, he was still considered abnormal for his love and calm state towards uncommon interests of others.

The soft beat the rain created sent him into a state of calmness, while the smell of dug up ground and coffee hit his nose, making him close his eyes and savor the moment. Most days the only noise that could be heard was the growls of cars and roars of angry drivers, along with their horns. The coffee in his hand released steam that gathered in front of his face before slowly disintegrating back into the clear air it once was.

In his mind, today was meant to be completely normal. He'd go to work, tease Baekhyun and his boyfriend for being cheesy, keep calm and patient with all the costumers he wold have serve, and he would retreat back to his shared apartment. The apartment wasn't exactly shared per say. Kyungsoo's best friend, Kris or YiFan, owned a room but spent more time around his boyfriend Junmyeon.

The only disruption of his plans was the fact that in a week, it'd be the anniversary of a day he always dreaded. The day he'd felt unwanted and broken. He has told multiple people that he's fine and one hundred percent better, though he wasn't considered an actor for nothing.

YiFan knew everything, even when Kyungsoo wouldn't give off as much emotion or information one would need, YiFan could read him like an open book. He'd always called it a face connection because the both of them were known for their always straight faces. Junmyeon would often tease YiFan for his use of words.

Which is why the night Kyungsoo's demons came to visit after his walls built around him caved, Kris and Junmyeon refused to leave his side for a month straight. Sweaters and jeans became his best friends. Its not like he wanted it, he craved the pain he called punishment for not being enough.

A secret floating around his mind caused guilt to build in his chest. He knew they were being good friends, but Kyungsoo couldn't help always lying to them. Truth be told, Kyungsoo lied to himself for so long he forgot what the truth actually was.

Kyungsoo looked into the mirror one more time, making sure his outfit didn't show his distress or look disheveled at all. It was the night he was doing to convince his best friends he was perfectly fine. His mind was telling him, no screaming at him, that he needed their comfort and he wasn't fine, yet the voices corrupted his mind into shouting how "worthless" he was. They'd also said Kyungsoo didn't deserve help.

Junmyeon and Kris entered the front door and shuffled to the kitchen table shivering. "Wow Soo, why's it so cold?" Junmyeon asked.

"Oh I was getting hot so I the AC. I didn't realize it was so cold outside. Sorry." He laughed turning up the heat.

As the couple sat down, Kris studied his face. His movements had slowed down and the shaking in his hands was close to being completely depleted. His body movements became more natural and calm than when Junmyeon and Kris first started sitting with him.

"Look at him. Watching you. He's trying to make sure you don't need him. Don't this up. You don't need them. Your perfectly fine. Its not a habit, it's your new lifestyle." A voice hissed in the back of Kyungsoo's head. He resisted the urge to twitch, or smack the area the voice maniacally whispered.

When Kyungsoo placed the bowl of noodles on the table, Junmyeon looked at him skeptically. "Noodles, really?"

"What, you can't fail a dinner with the simple bowl of noodles." Kyungsoo laughed at his reaction. The way his smile almost didn't feel forced for a second, gave him hope.

Kris looked over to Kyungsoo and asked, barely above a whisper, "Are you okay?" He knew it was an empty question, yet at that that moment it has so much worth and emotion at the time.

With a faint forced smile, he whispered back, "I'm perfectly fine." The smile didn't look forced. His acting really surprise him. Guilt filled his chest as soon as he looked to see Junmyeon looking to him proudly. That guilt spread when Kris told him how proud he was, hugged him tightly, and told him to call if anything made him feel uncomfortable.

A sad smile formed on his face at the memory. He'd still hear the voices, only less occasionally. Though with what he was about to do, he knew he would be risking the semi-peaceful state he was in over the past few months.

He is going to reread the letter Chanyeol left 2 years ago in late September, before he'd completely left everything behind, taking with him Kyungsoo's heart.