Lisa clutched Chaeyoung’s hand as their gazes stayed fixed on a mundane brown door, the soft sniffs and the occasional sighs only making their heart clench painfully, eyes glazed with concern for the oldest member.

They just hope she’ll get over her.

//

Jisoo sighs for the upteenth time, fingers fiddling with her framed picture, one she had accidentally broke in her frenzy the day before. Carefully placing the broken glass onto a piece of tissue paper, Jisoo pulled out the picture, wincing slightly when a stray piece of broken glass poked her skin. Jisoo pinched out the glass, watching as a small drop of blood appeared. Smudging it with her thumb, Jisoo feels constrict, eyes glancing over to the photo.

Jennie Kim.

The first girl she met before their debut. The first girl she felt such an urge to know. The first girl she clicked with. The first girl to be her best friend. The first girl to be announced as a member of Blackpink…

The first girl she loved.

Lips curving up in regret, Jisoo bit down on her bottom lip to keep in a sob.

She was stronger than this.

She’ll get over this phase.

Making the mistake of leaning back with a sigh, memories flashed in Jisoo’s mind, picture after picture, as if there was a treasure box full of their memories and she had just unlocked them. Closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath, Jisoo feels waves of emotions flow through her, causing an uncomfortable yet soothing chill down her spine.

Thoughts disrupted by a sudden ring of her phone, the device lighting up with a notification in the place of darkness, Jisoo picked it up with a heavy heart, the small device suddenly holding so much weight.

Jaw clenching at the message sent to her, Jisoo buried her head in her hands. It was one thing to love this girl, but Jisoo couldn’t bring herself to love her decisions.

Chucking her phone on the other side of her bed, Jisoo lies down and crawls under the covers, pulling the blanket closer to her angrily hot body. Legs finally feeling warm, Jisoo ignores the physical heat she was feeling – it was nothing compared to the bubbling jealousy in her stomach.

Seeing her phone light up once again, Jisoo curses when her body acts out of instinct and reaches for it, only to be stopped by the slam of her bedroom door. Jisoo looked up lazily, her once jumpy reaction replaced with an emotionless stare at the culprit. Lisa pants, bangs slightly messy as she quickly slides her phone in her pocket.

“Jisoo, don’t read that text.” Lisa’s voice wavers, eyes practically begging for Jisoo to heed her words of advice.

The older girl stared at her with the same lifeless stare, her shimmering bright doe eyes hollowed like a black hole. She directed her attention to her screen, which once again lit up. Picking up the phone and drowning the younger girl’s words into the background, Jisoo’s eyes skimmed across her screen, Jennie’s text messages sinking into her brain. Jisoo convinced herself that her relay neurone was cut short, the girl pushing the thoughts to the back of her mind, before deadpanning, “You can go out now.”

A flash of hurt was seen on Lisa’s large black orbs, the younger girl’s brows creasing before she nodded, leaving the room after saying a “love you unnie.”

Watching as the door clicked shut, Jisoo’s chest tightened, the girl taking in deep heavy breaths to keep herself calm.

She’ll get over it.

It’s nothing new.

//

The next few days went relatively well. Jisoo was given time alone to calm down and sought out her feelings. Lisa and Chaeyoung went to the amusement park in an attempt to give Jisoo some space, and well… Jennie was with him. At Paris. Enjoying life, without her.

Jisoo spent her time watching Rust gameplays, doing extra homework to keep herself updated to help her younger sister, and trying to write poems but eventually decided against it when all she could think about was angsty love poems that didn’t even make sense.

Scribbling a few more words, Jisoo finally gave up when she sees the failed poem, which was supposed to flow perfectly from up to bottom and then bottom to up, the two different ways of reading supposedly inflicting a different meaning to the poem.

Crushing the piece of paper in her hands, Jisoo threw it, the paper ball landing perfectly into the small trash bin next to her table. If only Jennie likes girls who were good at basketball; or if she even likes girls at all.

Jisoo sighs for the upteenth time, the girl patting her cheeks in an attempt to reprimand herself for allowing herself to succumb to the depressing state she was currently in. Jisoo absolutely adored Jennie, and letting the fact that she likes her best friend sink in wasn’t an easy feat. Cradling a specific yellow cat plushy, Jisoo stares at it, its black orbs much like a black hole, Jisoo’s life out of her. Gingerly the soft toy as if it was real, Jisoo places a small kiss on its nose, sniffing the new tears away when she remembered how much Jennie loved cats.

The younger girl was practically a cat herself; she was clingy at times but could rage and push you away in the next second, she was lazy and wanted to cuddle all the time, and most importantly, Jennie has those cat eyes. Those… beautiful, adoring, shimmering and- broken… cat eyes.

Jisoo choked out a sob, memories of Jennie and her flooding back into her strained mind, the muscles around her eyes sore from all the crying she had done recently, nose red from the constant blowing. Jisoo loved her. Almost too much.

Jisoo loved everything about Jennie.

Jisoo felt as if she was in a maze. No matter how many times she goes through this agonizingly painful route of getting over Jennie, and just as she thinks she sees the exit, she ends up turning the wrong way and getting trapped in this loop all over again. Jisoo was so emotionally drained from the girl who didn’t even love her that all she wanted to do was make it stop. But Jisoo knows better than to end her life, she has too much to lose. Her friends. Her family. Her dogs. Her Jennie-

.

Jisoo grits her teeth in frustration and buries her head in her hands. “Can’t you ing not think about her for one. goddamn. second?!” Jisoo’s anger dissipates into a heart breaking sorrow, the girl biting down on her bruised lips to keep in her whimper.

She’s better than this.

Jisoo in a deep breath, before releasing it shakily. Wiping her tears with her thumbs, Jisoo groans as she hears a knock on her door. Flipping on her phone and squinting at the bright light, Jisoo nods. It was way past dinner time and Chaeyoung and Lisa were probably worried about her.

Jisoo hated to make people wait, especially since the two younger girls looked up to her and Jisoo knew she managed to convince them that she had gotten over the hot rapper, so she had to calm herself down and open the door.

Sounds off?

Sure was.

For Jisoo’s broken heart somehow started beating when she opened the door, a bright gummy smile greeting her, the girl’s cat eyes disappearing when she smiled. Jisoo’s breath hitched when the girl stepped forward instinctively, engulfing her in a tight hug, and Jisoo can do so much but hope Jennie doesn’t hear the loud thumping of her painful heart.

“Hey Jisoo,” Jennie hums in contentment before releasing a stiff Jisoo, letting her arms linger on Jisoo’s shoulder, not noticing the obvious change in the older girl’s demeneor. “How was work?” Jennie asks, entering the room before closing the door behind her, leaving Jisoo staring at the brown door in shock.

There was absolutely no way this was happening. Jennie was supposed to come back in another three days, which was supposed to give Jisoo ample time to get over her agony. But seeing the brunette clad in a tight fitting black dress only fueled Jisoo’s anger and heartache. She knew where she was before she came to visit her. She knew what she had been doing before this visit.

Jisoo also knows who she was with, who had sent her home, who’s cologne lingered on Jennie such that Jisoo was suffocating with every second that passed.

Biting back her angry tears, Jisoo sent the girl of her dreams a tight lipped smile, beckoning her to remove that unwanted and unwelcomed jacket of his.

Jennie most probably interpreted the girl’s jealousy as concern, the brunette letting out a playful scoff before peeling off the leather jacket that matched perfectly with her black dress.

Jisoo hated how much it matched.

How much they matched.

So she quickly directed the girl to the washroom, masking her bubbling eagerness to get the girl rid of that horrible smell with words of concern.

“Jennie, you’re gonna get sick if you bathe so late, we can catch up after you shower, okay?”

Jennie pouts but agrees, casting the older girl a wink before dropping a flirty remark, “Join me?”

Jisoo curses her insides for turning into mush and curses the heat forming on her cheeks. But Jisoo was Jisoo. So she just rolled her eyes and shoved the girl into the toilet, throwing her a fluffy towel before shouting a “don’t fall asleep in there!”, quickly leaving the confined room when she hears the door click shut.

She couldn’t take this much longer. The whole thing was messed up. Jennie was her best friend, and as much as J