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Sehun’s POV

            Another day had passed in this miserable life of mine. I wondered, when is the day I could live peacefully without being burdened by anything will come. I used to hope for that day to come, but now I stopped hoping. I decided to just live this life the way my parents wanted. People said only dead fish follows the flow. I guess I’m no different than the dead fish now, because I felt like I had already dead inside. My head hurts so much. My body felt pain all over. But I forced myself to leave the bed and took heavy steps towards the veranda. The sun was shining so brightly but that wasn’t enough to shine the light to my dark life.

Jiyeon…

Just yesterday she rejected my proposal. I knew it was out of the blue and so rushed, but I knew I was sincere and she of all people should know better too. I expected her to, but she didn’t. I didn’t know if I lose her again this time, but she left. I was all alone again, and life was once again useless. With my mother disclosing their plan of marrying me with Yura, and with Seongwoo planning to court Jiyeon again, I was just afraid of losing Jiyeon again. But why couldn’t she understand that? I knew it’s my fault for not having the courage to be honest with my parents. Even I knew how risky this relationship was, because I could lose everything. But if I wasn’t ready to lose it all, I wouldn’t have took the risk at all. Why couldn’t Jiyeon see that? Or was it really because she’s opening her heart for Seongwoo? Am I gonna lose her anyway although not because of Yura?

My head hurts so much just thinking about this whole mess. I really needed to talk to someone. Jiyeon wouldn’t come anymore although I call, and I didn’t feel like seeing Seongwoo either. Only Jisoo could help me. I left the veranda and grabbed my phone before dialing Jisoo’s number.

“Yes Sehun?” Jisoo’s voice was heard on the line.

“Jisoo… are you busy?” I asked.

“No not really. Wait, your voice sounded different. Are you sick?” Jisoo worriedly asked.

“Can you come to my apartment? I really need to talk to someone.” I avoided the question and just told her to come.

“Alright then. I’ll be there.” Without extending the conversation, she dropped the call.

 I rested my body on the couch and closed my eyes. I decided to just take a good rest while waiting for Jisoo to arrive. Without realizing, I felt asleep on the couch and was only soon woken up from the doorbell sound. Jisoo must have arrived. I forced my body off the couch because I felt so weak right now. My head was hurting even more than it did before. I walked to the door and unlocked it for Jisoo.

“Yah Oh Sehun are you okay?” Jisoo worriedly asked as soon as she burst in through the door.

“Not really…” I answered with a raspy voice. I began coughing too.

“Yeah you do look like so.” Jisoo grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the couch. She pushed me to sit there and began feeling my forehead, checking the temperature, “Gosh you’re burning!” She exclaimed.

“I’m just tired.” I uttered and received a death glare from her. What did I do wrong this time?

“No, you’re feverish. You look so pale too I thought you’re a ghost. Have you eaten?” She asked and I just shook my head. She rushed to the kitchen and came back with a glass of plain water and a banana, “Eat this.”

“I don’t feel like eatin—”

“EAT!” She shut me up and I knew I just had to obey her or this was gonna be my death day. I shoved the banana inside my mouth and it honestly felt like a paper, tasteless. Afraid of Jisoo, I just forced myself to finish the whole banana. She was rummaging through her handbag and took out a small bottle. As expected of a medical school graduate. She poured out two tablets from the bottle and handed it to me, “Eat this medicine and then rest.” She instructed.

Having no other choice, I threw the tablets into my mouth and drank the water, “I’ll rest later Jisoo. Now I just want to talk.” I said and she hesitated for a while before she finally nodded.

“Five minutes all you have then you need to go rest.”

“Remember Kim Yura? Mother said I’m gonna have to marry her.” I explained.

She didn’t look surprised. Instead, she looked rather calm, “So your mother finally told you.”

“Wait what? You knew?” I asked in disbelief.

“Your mother told me and Jiyeon when we went out shopping together.” She explained and that honestly shocked me.

“So Jiyeon knew before I even told her too…” I whispered under my breath but I guessed Jisoo caught that.

“Her expression didn’t look good though when your mother told us. She was silent the whole time. I guess it’s hard for her to take too.”

She knew and she didn’t tell me. I wonder why? I wonder how she felt. Was it nothing to her because she had Seongwoo now, or was it really painful for her too like it was for me? My head hurts again from thinking too much. I began frowning and my sight became blurry. Jisoo said something, but I couldn’t hear her properly. I could feel her using all of her strength to help me stood up and brought me to the bedroom. I don’t want to rest, I need to go see Jiyeon. I need to see her now.

Author’s POV

            Jiyeon arrived at Sehun’s apartment that afternoon with an obvious worried expression. Jisoo opened the door for her and told her that Sehun was sleeping in the bedroom. Jiyeon put her bag and rushed to the bedroom. She carefully walked in not to wake him up. She sat on the bedside next to Sehun and stared at his sleeping face long. She felt his forehead and it was still burning hot. Tears fell down her eyes, feeling guilty. She realized she had hurt Sehun yesterday. She could’ve rejected him properly but she snapped.

“Jiyeon… you’re here?” Sehun talked as his eyes stirred open.

“Did I wake you up? I’m sorry.” Jiyeon apologized while Sehun struggled to wake up.

Jiyeon helped him and he rested his back on the headboard. He grabbed Jiyeon’s hand and held it tight with his cold hands. None of them said anything, and none of them were looking into each other’s eyes. Sehun was just silently staring down at their hands while Jiyeon also silently staring at Sehun. Both seemed to be surrounded by the feeling of guilt from their last’s meeting.

“Am I really… a bad son?” Sehun finally lifted up his face and looked straight into Jiyeon’s eyes, “After everything that I’ve done for my parents, am I still a bad son for wanting to live my life for once? Am I becoming an ungrateful son for wanting to be with the person I really love?”

Tears finally fell down her eyes to hear Sehun’s shaking voice. He was obviously hurt by her words in their last conversation. Jiyeon finally realized she was the one who couldn’t understand Sehun like she was supposed to. Hearing what Sehun said just now, she realized it was not about respecting his parents. It’s about his suffocating life of living like a puppet doing everything he was told to. He served his parents like an obedient son, he did everything for them they was proud of him. He never disrespect his parents. It was just her misinterpreting Sehun’s words. Sehun was just trying to tell her that he just really didn’t want to lose her because of his parents’ plan of marrying him and Yura.

Finally realizing her fault, Jiyeon leaned closer and buried her face onto Sehun’s chest, “I’m sorry Sehun. You’re not a bad son, you’re actually the best son every parents could wish for. This whole thing… it’s just stressing me out.”

She could feel Sehun’s hands circled around her body and pulled her into a warm hug, “I don’t blame you.” He whispered.

“But I was being so harsh to you yesterday…” Jiyeon muttered.

Sehun broke the hug and grabbed Jiyeon’s shoulders while he lowered his head to Jiyeon’s level. He looked straight into Jiyeon’s teary eyes and shot a weak smile, “I want you to listen up.” He said and Jiyeon just nodded once.

Sehun took a deep breath before he began talking again, “Please be honest with me, I only need to know this. Do you really love me? Or do you think you can be happier wit