Taeyeon
I Will Go To You As The First SnowTaeyeon knew she was different at the age of five. Her mother never answered her questions when she asked about the man with the same shirt waving at her daily; a girl slightly older than her sitting on the swing in the playground and the pretty lady who dangerously stood in the middle of the road.
Death nor ghosts made sense to her immature young mind.
"I was hoping you wouldn't see me," Her mother told her solemnly one day. Taeyeon wept because she couldn't hug her no matter how hard she tried. "I was hoping I was wrong but you got the gift from your grandma after all."
The funeral was simple but Taeyeon could not understand why everyone was crying when her mother was still in the house. Nobody listened to her- her relatives gave her weird stares and her aunt gave her a slap across her cheek for sprouting nonsense.
Taeyeon eventually realized that she was seeing things that no one could only after her mother passed away.
Taeyeon lived with her father for a year in that place. Caught in the middle by two adults; her mother was uptight and unpredictable- influencing Taeyeon to build distrust in her father. Her father, confused and afraid- abused Taeyeon whenever she spoke about her mother.
"You have a new girlfriend," Taeyeon said one day and her father stared at her like he had seen a ghost. He had never brought her home when Taeyeon was around. "Mommy said you're disgusting for bringing her home and dirtied the bed."
Taeyeon was sent to the orphanage a month later. Her father and his girlfriend wanted nothing to do with her- they wouldn't want a freak who could see ghosts. That wasn't the only thing that haunted Taeyeon. She remembered her mother's blood-curdling scream when her father forcefully handed her over to the orphanage caretakers.
"Don't take my daughter!" Taeyeon wailed as she watched her mother ceased into nothing as she crossed the barrier, chasing after Taeyeon in desperation out of the house.
Taeyeon was lucky enough that the orphanage was willing to provide her with shelter and education, albeit lacking in care and love. Taeyeon had a hard time opening up to people and Taeyeon ended up spending her school days with Hyoyeon.
Hyoyeon, the same age as Taeyeon, breathed her last at the rooftop due to misuse of drugs. Hyoyeon found a little bag of white pills from her mother's bag the evening before and hid at the rooftop away from her friends. Thinking that they were candies, Hyoyeon consumed them and died from respiratory depression. It was her mother's sleeping pills.
Taeyeon was cautious in the beginning- fearful of spirits but Hyoyeon's crying and her loneliness were overbearing.
"Are you okay?" Taeyeon wished she had never spoken these words to Hyoyeon.
Hyoyeon was a friend that Taeyeon was grateful for in the beginning. Taeyeon could tell her secrets that she knew no one else would ever hear. Hyoyeon would tell her stories about the school from roaming around for two years. Taeyeon finally laughed, having a made a friend despite confined to the rooftop under the open skies.
Hyoyeon started getting possessive over Taeyeon.
"Stay with me today." She said on Monday, then Tuesday and Taeyeon found herself at the rooftop daily after school.
"You are having a party at the orphanage? How lucky. I'm so lonely here." She said and Taeyeon couldn't find the heart to leave Hyoyeon crying alone.
"You hurt yourself while playing sports? That is nothing. At least you could still play. Imagine the pain I went through." Taeyeon hid her scraped forearm behind her.
"Do you think you can tell my mom I miss her?"
"Can you bring more friends up here?"
"How can you leave me alone?"
"Stay with me forever."
Taeyeon found herself suffocating under Hyoyeon's requests. It made her guilty to be alive and screams from her mother was gnawing at her from the inside. Hyoyeon's grief was only seen and heard by Taeyeon, causing her to sink into a depressed state.
"Sorry," Taeyeon finally broke down one day, "I can't do this anymore. I don't want to be your friend anymore."
"I'm sorry I promise I won't do this anymore. I only need you, Taeyeon. You are my everything."
Hyoyeon pleaded through a tearful face. It was smothering and Taeyeon gripped her arms in fear. She ran.
"Don't go!" Hyoyeon was the second who disappeared before Taeyeon's eyes with a tormenting plea while anxiously chasing her.
Taeyeon learned that being different meant she had a heavier burden to carry.
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