Seeking
I Will Go To You As The First SnowTaeyeon stole another glance at the quiet Juhyun, battling her own exhaustion and aching body. The uncertainty and silence shrouding them caused Taeyeon to heave another inaudible sigh. Her consciousness drifted- the hum of the engine was a comforting contraction to the jumbled mess in her head.
She was rudely jerked awake as the car revved to a stop outside the white tower. Groaning, she flexed her limbs and her joints cracked in protest. Juhyun wordlessly exited the vehicle first and pulled the door open for Taeyeon. She considerably slung Taeyeon's arm over her shoulder, paid the driver and matched Taeyeon's pace as they lumbered past the gates. There was guilt and fear as Taeyeon observed her friend's unchanging demure.
"Juhyun," Taeyeon breathed. Her friend's face was stiff and void of expression, "I want to tell you something."
"We can talk tomorrow," Juhyun firmly put a stop to their conversation and the rest of the words died on her tongue. The walk down the hallway to her ward was agonizing and Taeyeon's thoughts briefly wandered. Taeyeon felt the last ounce of her consciousness sapped away when her brain registered the softness of the mattress under her.
"I'm sorry," was all Taeyeon could muster as her body caved into the bed. Her eyes droop to a close and she remembered Juhyun draping the sheets over her as she drifted off.
Taeyeon was once again, unceremoniously jolted awake. She grunted in disapproval and scowled at the grinning face in her blurry vision. The room was bright and Taeyeon took a quick glance at the clock. Doing a quick calculation in her head, she realized that she must have been really battered because she has been sleeping for about fourteen hours.
"Good morning, unnie!" Yoona greeted enthusiastically and Juhyun deadpanned that it is three in the afternoon. Taeyeon's annoyance melted away. Yoona quickly sat on the foot of Taeyeon's bed and peeled her a banana. Taeyeon smiled; Yoona's energy was contagious and Juhyun's laughter eased the discomfort.
"Juhyun," Yoona paused for breath and Taeyeon saw a window for her to initiate the conversation. Juhyun immediately wiped the smile off her face at the sound of her voice and jolted upright.
"I got to go. Yoong, you stay here with Taeyeon. See you later." Juhyun hurried out of the door without sparing another look at Taeyeon. She sighed after the retreating figure. Yoona gaped with open.
"Did you guys had a fight?"
"We didn't. We didn't even talk."
"She went to your place last night to fetch you when you ran away. Is this about that person you were talking about?"
"I guess," Taeyeon kneaded her brows together, bringing her attention to Yoona, "Yes, it is."
"What happened?" Yoona's voice softened and Taeyeon could see the understanding in her eyes. It was reassuring.
"Juhyun.... She found out."
"That you were staying together?" Yoona questioned innocently.
"How did you- no! No, we..." Taeyeon defended herself in surprise, "Actually yes..."
Taeyeon trailed off. Yoona's straightforwardness threw her off guard. It would be a lie to say they weren't staying together but it wasn't the relationship that Yoona was implying.
"It's kind of a no but also, yes." Yoona furrowed her brows in confusion.
"Uh, Juhyun met that person? Did they argue?
"They can't," Taeyeon simply said and the ceases between Yoona's brows deepened.
"They can't? I don't understand."
"There is nothing to fight about." That was partially the truth.
"There has to be something if you're so troubled. You care about Juhyun and you care about that person too," Yoona stated honestly, "There must be a conflict between them and that's why you're caught in the middle."
Given the fact that Juhyun was the only friend that Taeyeon had, it is definite that Taeyeon cared for her.
It was not as though Taeyeon didn't realize how she has prioritized Tiffany suddenly- surprising herself over many aspects of her life she thought she would never do. Taeyeon had never done that for anyone before. She realized it but to have Yoona bared it and laid it out in plain words, it hits Taeyeon that Tiffany carried an unexplainable importance in her heart.
"What if-" Taeyeon carefully whispered, "If it's someone....someone you can't see? Someone only I can see, hear and talk to but I can't touch. Is that considered living together?"
"I see," Yoona's worked within what her logic offered her- her brain wrapped around Taeyeon's words and it sunk in. It was endearing to hear the naivety in Taeyeon's question- like a child asking for a candy. But Yoona knew the answer wasn't simply a yes or a no and she knew that Taeyeon was waiting for someone to understand her. There was a lingering tension that even Yoona couldn't find words to comfort the troubled Taeyeon. Yoona flashed a sympathetic smile and gently gave Taeyeon's hand a small squeeze.
"Juhyun will come around. I'll talk to her too. Give her time," She could be the one who understands, Yoona thought because it has always been rewarding when she shares her positive outlook in life.
"Thank you." Taeyeon returned the gesture of affection in relief. Yoona smiled.
"One day... that person, unnie. That person who allowed you to make such expressions- I want to meet that person too."
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