It was dead quiet, only the sound of the door closing followed our steps.

Kai kept his lips tight together and I let him hold my hand, because God, did I miss the feeling of his skin. 

We stood there awkwardly, not stepping into the room, just hovering by the door; away from the line.

I tried to glance at his face, trying to get a glimpse of his expression but he tucked his face away on my neck, I felt him breathe in my scent and his fingers tightened: "Do you like her?"

"I've only just met her."
"Well, I've slept with her."

And with that, I remembered the mornings with the girls in his bed or his constant need for them outside of his bed. My fingers stretched and slipped past his own, shrugging my shoulders for him to be off. 

"Wait," he pulled me back, "Are you angry with me?"

I sighed, "No, I'm not angry."
"Then why the fck are you trying to pull away, Sehun?"

He turned me around, his grip almost painful but it was his eyes that forced me to stay rooted. 

"Sehun," he swallowed, breathing deeply and I swear I could feel a tremble, "I don't want to do this anymore. Just because you put a tape across the floor doesn't mean you can just cut me off! You don't get the fcking say to whether I can still have you in my life or not."

I felt air leave my body, my vision blurring, a little scared to get my hopes up but no words were forming as he stepped closer to close the gap between us.

This was the closest we've been in months, and it was so right, his hand now on my back and the other creeping up to my cheeks.

"I don't want you to leave me," I was being reeled in with every word he said, "I can't return your feelings but if you want kisses, hugs, anything and everything else, I will give it to you. Let's go back to how we were, don't you miss that baby?"

I looked at him, the boy that always made my stomach twist with a smile and the tempting invitation almost made me give in.

Almost.

My hand pushed him away gently and he fluttered his eyes slowly, feeling his breath leave him as I shook my head.

"I'll go to my side, I've got work in the morning. You should go your own way, baby."

I turned and this time he didn't try to pull me back in, I began to walk unlike him, who continued to stand there like he didn't understand or thought I'd run back into his arms. 

But why or how could I? I couldn't miss how we used to be when he’d sneak into my bed, pulling the covers over himself too; but when we walked out the door, we became strangers. The constant anxiety of him leaving me or someone else replacing me in his bed. Seeing him with other people, touching them how he touches me in our room. 

"Sehun," Kai whispered, "sometimes I wish there was never an us."
"There never was."

I love it when you guys comment! I don't can't upvote yet but I try to comment back when it's appropriate x