"What's with the heavy breathing?" Baekhyun frowned from his couch. 

My throat felt dry, like I had just ran a marathon with no water breaks on the way.

This feeling was exactly why I asked,

No,

Pleaded for that line.

I stepped towards the couch, immediately falling to the seat and rested my head against my best friend's shoulder.

"Your roots are showing," Baekhyun pulled on my blonde strands, " are you growing it out?"

"Not really, I'm too broke to get it done again."

There was a slight hum that substituted as his reply, his fingers tapping against his phone screen.

"Wait, wait," he angled his body towards me, "Come work with me at the cafe. Remember how I said we needed more people? The pay's good and there's no stress about a mean manager."

I reminded him that I wasn't very good with hospitality,
he reminded me that my roots deserved some hospitality.

"I'll text the manager, you can follow me on my next shift."

That was one problem solved, I guess. I had to use this month's allowance for two new textbooks while also paying for other necessities. Good thing the university admission covered rent. 

"So," my best friend mused, " why were you out of breath?"

And then, there was that problem. 

"I sprinted from my room."
"Why'd you need to sprint?"

I didn't have an answer. I mean, why would I need to sprint the 10 metre space between our rooms. 

He asked if it had anything to do with my roommate,
I stuttered an 'of course not'. 

"You didn't give me a proper answer when I asked you last time," he started, a serious expression on his face, " why'd you suddenly decide to dye your hair blonde?"

I pushed my hair back, out of a nervous habit, "I told you, I felt like I needed a change."

"Sehun," the boy sighed deeply, " I've pretended to not notice for a while but I'm starting to worry since the cause of that change might have made you sprint to my room."

Baekhyun got up, and for a moment I was scared that it was because he was mad at me, 
but instead he went to the small kitchen to grab two cans of beer.

"I won't ask you to tell me everything, but promise me that you're not in some kind of danger."

That depends on your definition of danger.

My definition of danger meant feeling out of control for the situation, breathless at times and vulnerable. 
Which summed up my state of being around Kai. 

"Sehun?" He waved his hand in front my face, "You're zoning out on me now. Doesn't really help the mood."

I looked at him. His furrowed brows and sullen mouth, hands that popped the two cans of Asahi open; drinks that were reserved only for special occasions. 

"Well, I wasn't lying when I said I needed a change," I swallowed quickly, the fizzy sensation coating my throat, " I just felt that I was at a point where I wasn't my own. I wasn't safe and secured. I doubted a lot and had dreams about happy endings even though the reality is so much different."

He listened, not a word left his lips.
So I continued. 

"My black hair," this wasn't as easy to spit out, " was apparently my crown. Untouched, pure locks of black was a crown. How stupid is that?"

He didn't answer so I kept going.

"Then I realised that maybe that crown wasn't that special, maybe the sense of royalty I felt was all fabricated because," I took a gulp of the cold Asahi to cool the emotions I that overcame me, " that royalty wasn't only saved for me. It was saved for every other person with hair the colour of onyx."

A silence embraced the room, a feeling of comfort crawled in as Baekhyun sipped on his own drink. 

"I might not understand everything," he slowly said, " you know I'm not very philosophical, but I hope you know that you're not a commodity. Even before you dyed your hair, you were your own person."

We decided to talk about a lighter topic; the 'date' on Saturday. 

Taeyeon was older than Beakhyun and they only had a class together because he was doing advanced studies and she was a late starter. 
He wasn't sure about her, but then again, he wasn't sure about any of his previous girlfriends. 

"Sometimes," he drawled, his head bobbing slightly, " I don't think I'll ever find the one."

We sounded like the cast of The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants. 

But there was one thing I learned about Baekhyun that night.

Changing girlfriends and going on multiple dates wasn't a player way, just a fear of being alone. Or not finding someone to love or someone to love you. 

And with those thoughts and macho-less conversations, we drifted to sleep. 

On the floor of his dorm, drowsy and heavy in the head, I thought about everything to nothing. 

I thought about him, a subject that I avoided and had trouble discussing. 
I thought about my hair, it really needed a visit to a professional hairdresser. 
I thought about the line, something so small meant so much to me. 
I thought about tomorrow, the unknown and another day of attempted healing. 

I thought about everything and nothing. 

chapter three and you already dropped a bomb like this RAVISH? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?
On another note, I'm deciding on posting the chapters with light editing for faster updates. That doesn't necessarily mean they'll be a blubbering mess but there may be a few spelling errors and yeah.