p.s : Guess who almost cried after reading about Sh's news today? me. I mean, It's okay if the universe wanted to screw my life over, but not him. Not his life. He deserves all the best, he deserves to be happy and content with life. 

p.p.s : I've been listening to one more light /clutchheart.

Super short - Work / domestic life au. 1034 words.

Based on this writing by bloomsburys

concept: i am in my late twenties/early thirties. i have a phd and a position at a university in a beautiful city or town. i’m reading modernist short stories in the window seat of my flat and it’s drizzling outside. the love of my life comes home and we ask each other how our days were, they make me a cup of tea and join me in the window and we read together and laugh at the parts that shouldn’t be funny at all. i don’t even know what i used to worry about.

All these versions of you

The one with red hair

The one with green hair

The one with black hair

The one when you were warm

The one when you were cold

I'd love you still, I'd love every versions of you

- From Seunghyun to Jiyong

Seunghyun's day is always the same. Wake up, cook, go to uni to lecture until late evening, come back home, reheat his cooking, read while waiting Jiyong to come home from his job. He had never imagine life would be like this. It's true after all, life is hard, and you're angry when you are young. But he doesn't wake up angry anymore nor panic, he's okay now. Even when problems come his way, he still managed to think positively, to think straight now. It gets a whole lot better now that he's in his mid 30s. He never imagined his life to be a business studies lecturer to be honest, Seunghyun used to go to art school, he even has bachelor of art with him. He managed to work here and there after school but then he found life to be dull so he pursue something that is out of his comfort zone. When he was 24, he enrolled to a master's programmed in Business Management, thinking that he might be able to open up his own art/design business after he finished his master's but then life happened. 

He is always struggling, Seunghyun is. Always struggle cos he is too preoccupied with the future, Doctor used to said that his mom must be was under pressure and hugh stress when she was pregnant with him, that's why his tolerance to stress was quite low, he even always struggling with school. But then he got to pursue what he wanted which was art, he had found balance there. Then he started to pursue and studying business, he started to get disoriented because when the job interviewer asked him "Why would an art graduate pursue a business degree?", "You should know what to do, focus. What do you want to be? What if after all of this you end up being a stay at home father?", "You said you are passionate in design, and you wanted to work as a graphic designer, then why did you study business instead of a master's of art and design?"

Questions like that used to make him feel angry, dejected, small. He never thought his decision to pursue a master's degree would bring him into all of these unfortunate event. Until he got a gig as a high school teacher in digital marketing. It was his first job after awhile, he was underpaid, he was still stress, but he thought at the very least there will be money, it's better to be stress plus money, rather than without it. His life started to get better, he pay all his bills himself, he supported himself, send his mom her monthly money and even go on dinner with her sometimes when he's back to her place, he got a lot of friends at school and also the students loves him. Just when he thought his life is enough, it get even better, when Jiyong came into view. 

It's funny cos Jiyong is actually one year younger than him, but they managed to get close and to take their relationship slow. Jiyong was everything he had been searching for in a partner, understanding, never demanding anything, and most of all not judging him for things that he does, for being stress and anxious, and the best thing is that Jiyong is always bring the best out of him. Jiyong was working in a famous university in town, and he managed to get Seunghyun a job as a lecturer at his uni, his workplace. Now Seunghyun had been working at this uni for 5 years, even managed to finished his Phd in Business Administration in 18 months during his 1st-2nd year as a lecturer and Jiyong had already changed into a 9/5 corporate manager in a high-tech company. Despite everything, despite problems being thrown their way, they are okay.

"Seunghyun!"....."Seunghyun? You must be reading, don't you?"

Jiyong then found Seunghyun sit near their flat's window, this time he is reading W.H Auden

"Hey! Sorry I didn't see you coming."

"It's okay, how was your day?"

"Was okay. Some students were poking my patience with their laziness but it was okay. How was yours?"

"It was hectic, we're nearing deadline since we gotta open up our branch next month, but thankfully my marketing time managed to make some progress today. Have you eaten? Which Auden are you reading now?"

"Nah, I was waiting for you to come home so we could eat pasta? I've reheat it, oh it's titled If I could Tell You."

"Sure. I'll make us tea. Read it for me?"

*

*

"It's the usual, romanticism, life and oh I like this phrase the most. - If I could tell you I would let you know. If we should weep when clowns put on their show, If we should stumble when musicians play, time will say nothing but I told you so."

Being a poetry junkies himself, Jiyong knew this by heart, he can't help but laugh - on how many times did he tried to memorize this very poetry during his high school play.

"Jiyong! Why are you laughing? It was such a disrespect to Mr. Auden!"

"Sorry, baby. He put clown and all these eloquent words together, it's a bit funny to me. But hey, you laugh too!"

"I like this, us being carefree and relax after work, I like the wind too."

"I'm like the fact that we got each other. I like us."

"Okay, Jiyong, you win."

*

The silly fool, the silly fool

was sillier in school

but beat the bully as a rule.

The youngest son, the youngest son

was certainly no wise one

yet could surprise one.

Or rather, rather to be posh, we gather,

one should have no father.

Simple to prove that deeds indeed in life succeed,

But love in love, And tales in tales where no one fails.

- by W.H Auden, from Jiyong to Seunghyun