*this has been in my draft for a year now.

Jiyong : Seunghyun?

Seunghyun : hmm?

Jiyong : How do I stop myself from thinking?

Seunghyun : I don't think that's possible, if you stop thinking means that you'd stop telling me all the foods you're craving and guess what? I'd miss it a lot

Jiyong : so you'd only miss the talk but not the person

Seunghyun : hmm

Jiyong : hmm (2)

Seunghyun : hmm (3)

Jiyong : hmm (4)

Seunghyun : Until when should I do this? 

Jiyong : for as long as you want

Seunghyun : okay

Jiyong : okay

Seunghyun : Isn't it strange?

Jiyong : what is ?

Seunghyun : me

Jiyong : hmm (5)

Seunghyun : I mean I know we're texting all the time and sometimes called late at night too but I still feel like? Like there's something that is missing.

Jiyong : and why is that? 

Seunghyun : like hell I know Kwon Jiyong

Jiyong : Are you okay?

Seunghyun : yeah, but maybe will be okai-er if we call? 

Jiyong : now?

Seunghyun : yeah? Is it really late there??? Sorry.

Jiyong : nah I'm fine. Tomorrow is sunday so the market is off, I don't have to help to fish.

Seunghyun : okay. I'll call? 

Jiyong : I'll call. 

Jiyong : Why didn't you answer?

Jiyong : Choi Seunghyun?!?????!

Jiyong : Choi Seunghyun?!?????! (2)

Jiyong : Choi Seunghyun?!?????! (3)

Seunghyun : Back! 

Jiyong : Did you just sleep on me?

Seunghyun : I'm so sorry I was in the toilet hehe

Jiyong : okay

Seunghyun : I'll call?

Jiyong : yeah

Seunghyun : are you playing games on me? Why aren't you answering?

Jiyong : serve you right.

Seunghyun : :(

Seunghyun : I'm like T T just like T T

Seunghyun : If I send you vids of me dancing to TT, will you answer me?

Jiyong : deal

Seunghyun : you're so cruel :(

Jiyong : I'm your cruel :)

Upcoming call from Choi Seunghyun.

*

The morning comes slowly today, his grandparents' bird pets were chirping asking to be fed. His headache gonna be the dead of him, he's sure of that now. So he get up and walk to his kitchen to drank some paracetamol and he found his feet to the balcony instead, with a cup of warm water between his fingers, he stand there, watch the life goes by. Hear the sound of how the city will goes back to life by now. Hear the mutters of his grandparents whom will start to prepare to sell their fish to the market soon. He doesn't feel like accompany them to the market today, it doesn't make him a bad grandson, he thinks - at least for himself, he'd just go absent for today or maybe tomorrow too. Reason : headache and also the ache in his chest, mostlikely as the main reason. He wonders how Seunghyun is doing now, that bastard. He told Jiyong he'd come to Itaewon but when Jiyong actually went to the airport to fetch him and waited for long hours, there was never been a Choi Seunghyun, so he left - devastated. Came home to cry on his nanny's chest and murmured 'he's a prick, he lied to me'. His grandmother kept cooing and touching his back shoulder 'It's okay, I'm sure he had his reasons, you will meet him, someday." And that someday might never come. He tried to over analyze everything from the first of their meeting/call/chat to the fact that Jiyong shared outmost of his secrets - his parent's split and all of those his dark fears and negative thoughts. Seunghyun would say, should say 'To whom do I owe this honor, instead." But then again, it's been months of Seunghyun sudden lost of contact, and he's not that angry now, he misses him, he hopes the bastard is doing okay. He hopes so, at the very least.

He feels like smoking so bad, especially when the winter is quite chilly in the morning like this. He wonders whether his grandparents left home already by now. How long has he been standing here like this? How long his fingers itch to fetch a stick or two and to smoke the pain away but he'd gone far way better than this. Ain't gonna sink that low.

Sometimes he would feel so hollow, so painful yet so empty, all at the same time. Missing someone who doesn't even deserve it, it's hard indeed. Sometimes he thinks about what happened that night, as to why Seunghyun never showed up, why he never call/send message after that night. What did he do so bad that cause Seunghyun to to this to him?

Sometimes he wonders, if the universe was in his favor, he might be standing hand in hands get bored by watching how the city turns into life with Seunghyun right now. He will let himself be smothered, he will latch their fingers together cos that what he'd been wanting to do for so long. The tears is on the way, he sense. So he got back inside, dunk another paracetamol, and tried to sleep. 

He sees Seunghyun in his dream, the bastard look all nice with black suit attire, he also smells so good, but as much as he looks good, it feels like something was missing from Seunghyun, and he can't quite decipher what was. Strangely, he can only see Seunghyun's upper body now, his lower body were covered with the clouds. Even the Jiyong in the dream, thinks he's crazy. He must be crazy.

He woke up by the sound of his grandfather scrraming his name, still feeling groggy for waking up suddenly, he runs to the source of the sound and there, he saw a red car parked near the end of the alley so he walked there and follow where his feet where taking him and then - he found him. Seunghyun, talking with his grandfather. And his grandmother walking towards him while saying 'Be good to him, Jiyong, he's a good man.' So he walks, walks, walks, but his feet were failing him and he saw his grandparents help pushing Seunghyun's wheelchair towards where Jiyong is right now. His grandfather wheeled Seunghyun to him as if to say 'here he is, the one you've been waiting for', briefly touched his left shoulder and left.

Seunghyun looks upwards to his face and he feels like crying. He still looks wonderful, almost too good for his own liking, he looks exactly the same like his photo, like during their videcall. But this Seunghyun is better, cos he's here.

'Hi, Kwon Jiyong.'

Silent.

'Come here, will you please come here?'

And then he hugs the hell out of him. He hugs him, to show him that it will be okay, everything will be okay. 

'I'm sorry.' Seunghyun said in between his cries.

'Are you okay? Are you hurt? Let's get inside first?'

'Wanna talk in my car, instead?'

'Sure, I'll wheel you there.'

'Okay.'

Seunghyun's driver and personal assistant exited the car and helped him to get inside, the air is chilly inside must be from the aircon, Jiyong thinks. It gets so close, way too close, he still can't believe that they sit side by side now.

'I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to stood you up.'

'It didn't matter. Are you okay? May I know what happened? What happened to you, Seunghyun?'

'I got into accident.'

'Traffic accident.'

'Before the flight?'

'Technically, during the flight. My plane crashed, 5 mins after it tried to board, never got to fly at that day. So yeah, I lost my legs.'

'I'm so sorry, Seunghyun, I'm so sorry. If only you didn't come here! For sake.'

'I bet you must think I hate you cos no I will never hates you. This was not your fault, never anyone's fault, it's just circumstances.'

'Can you walk?'

'I'm trying, I'm on motoric therapy for months now, working on my prosthetic.'

'Can I hug you?'

'Of course, you fool.'

'I miss you so much, Seunghyun.'

'I miss you too, Jiyong.'

'Where do you live now?'

'Seoul, they got the best therapy here.'

'I see.'

'If it's not too much, Will you someday visit me?'

'To Seoul?'

'Yeah, to my apartment.'

'You sure so damn quiet now, Kwon Jiyong.'

'Why didn't you tell me about this, Seunghyun? I thought we were going through thick and thin together?'