Seungri only stood frozen in front the door. Blues and melancholies filled his eyes. His tea had long turned cold in his hand. He stilled.

                 The elder; had locked himself all over again.

                They hadn’t really talked since the last time Seungri had brought USA up. Jiyong prepared his own bags and so did he. The elder had silently followed him everywhere since. Jiyong had his head hung low and Seungri almost went insane when he kept on staying silent all throughout the 20-something-hours flight! The latter was even trying so hard to avoid his gaze.

               Even after they landed at Greenville, they kept on staying apart with the wall Jiyong had built stood between them. Worse; Jiyong only jumped off the car once they arrived and dragged his bags inside. He was then lost from Seungri’s eyesights.

                Oh, had Seungri gone too far?

                Seungri could only sigh. He dropped his aching body onto the couch and closed his eyes, wondering if his mind could be rested as easily as his physique was. He was tired…

                “Just; 5 minutes...” He whispered, slowly losing his control. He gave in to the drowsiness.

                .

                .

                .

                “OMG!!” Seungri jolted up, kicking the earth as he jerked up. He searched for the clock; he had to go before 6! He couldn’t help but breathed in relief when he saw the clock still struck 4. He immediately walked out when his feet suddenly came in contact with something. He halted.

                A pillow…

                It was a pillow…

                His gaze instantly darted onto Jiyong’s closed door. Jiyong had brought him pillow… Seungri’s heart was in a jumble mess first thing after they reached USA. He shook out the thought. He shouldn’t be an emotional mess when they were all alone in the land of America. He had to stay strong. There’s no one to rely on here.

                So, he knocked on Jiyong’s door, “Hyung?” He pressed his ear. “I’ve registered you for a consultation by 6 today.” He shouted.

                Nothing came resonating back at him.

                He yet again left to heave in a heavy breath. He was standing in defeat. “We’ll go by five,” He informed the elder, leaving his door to his own room.

                 He took a shower and got himself readied. Once done, he came to the living room where Jiyong had already been waiting for him.

                Seungri couldn’t help not to gawk at the leader. The leader was dress in a simple dress shirt and Seungri couldn’t remember when the last time had the leader worn it.  A small smile touched his lips; heart’s s a little bit lifted up, “Let’s go, Hyung.” He invited.

                Jiyong inevitably blushed at the sight. He nodded and walked behind the younger, following him inside the cab. It was just until the warm surge of the cab temperature had hit him that he was quickly summoned back to the present, the next thing he knew; he had started to bite his nails and the ride became too silent it grew his paranoia worse.

                What diagnosis would the doctor declare?! What if he really was gay?!

                The consequents and damages came crashing inside his mind like a ticking bomb. 

                Jiyong was afraid…

---

                Jiyong thought today would be the end for his nails; the nails he used to treat as canvases. They’re ugly now, He flinched. Should he start painting them again? Shou—Okay, never mind that! Jiyong really couldn’t think about it at the moment.  What did the doctor actually talk Seungri into?! Why hadn’t they come out?! It’s been a freaking long time and Jiyong was freaking out inside, his feet couldn’t stay still!

                He was about to circle around when the door creaked open and revealed Seungri. His feet didn’t take long to fled onto Seungri’s spot. “What did—“

                “Good evening, Mr. Kwon.” A man in a professional white coat came behind Seungri; smile on. His whole body shouted professionalism and it shrank Jiyong almost in no time.

                He instantly cowered down on his spot. This was it; Seungri would finally hand him to the doc—

                “Can I go in too? My brother here seems nervous.”

                Jiyong’s head shot up as soon as the remark rolled off the maknae’s tongue. For real?! A hand s into his own and he could feel fingers creeping in and cocooning his very own. Seungri stood by his side and offered him a warm smile. Jiyong could only gape.

                “Sure, please; Mr. Lee, Mr. Kwon.” The doctor moved to let them in. Seungri had his hand on Jiyong’s waist. The leader rigidly slid onto the couch.  The doctor continued on smiling, “Okay, Mr. Kwon; Mr. Lee had told me your condition and informed the full story how you ended up come to me. But, there’s a few missing link that I need you to connect. I will ask you some questions and you will answer me, shall we do it that way?”

                Jiyong nodded.

                “Are you ready?”

                Seungri squeezed his hand and right at that moment; Jiyong’s head spun like a hurricane was inside it. His heart danced in his ribcage and Jiyong was vulnerable for distraction all in a sudden. “A minute!” He shouted, scurried up to leave the room which surprised Seungri and the doctor all together.

                He rushed outside, pulling his wallet. He released a long breath after seeing its content and got back inside the room. He steadied his breath, “I’m good,” he assured.

                The doctor waited for him to sit down, “Great.” He smile, “For start, could you tell me what has been burdening you, Mr. Kwon?”

                Jiyong had prepared for this. “We—we’re getting in scandal. A—it’s, I mean, we’re rumored to be d—d—dating. We’re cau…ght kissing. No, I mean we don’t kiss in conscious. N—no, sorry I mean we didn’t mean it. The kiss happened all too fast! There’s really nothing between us!! We didn’t plan it, I mean, how can I kiss a man right? I dated girls, I’m attracted to them!!”

                “I see, I see,” The doctor kept on smiling and it started to bug Jiyong to his very spine. Seungri was pulling him down and Jiyong obediently sat back, bowing his apology to the doctor.  “Mr. Kwon, you do know there’s nothing wrong and scandalous about your scandal, don’t you?”

                “Yes—yes, of course, there’s nothing wrong!” Jiyong’s face brightened at the statement; someone had finally understood! “There’s really nothing between us!” His smile broadened.

                “Sure, and even if there is something; there is nothing wrong with it. You do know, right, Mr. Kwon? Mr. Lee is a beautiful man and your heart is beautiful if it can notice Mr. Lee’s beauty.”

                 “H—he is.” Jiyong blushed as he dipped deeper into the couch, feeling the heat on his face. “But, that didn’t mean I’m gay right?!”

                The doctor still smiling as Seungri yet again pulled Jiyong back.

                “Of course, not; that means your heart is being honest. It’s not easy to admit other’s beauty. You’re a good man with a good heart, Mr. Kwon. Don’t discredit your heart.”

                Jiyong silently felt a burdened was lifted off his chest. “Does that mean I’m straight?”

                “Why did you keep asking that, Mr. Kwon? Do you doubt yourself?”

                Jiyong truly felt like scraping down the doctor’s face. ing, Doctor! Just tell him the diagnosis already!

                “Do you always demand for answers, Mr. Kwon?” the doctor seemed to notice Jiyong’s discomfort. “Can you please answer me? Or do you not have any doubt?”

                Jiyong had to calm himself. “I—I know I’m straight. I just need, I mean, I’m just making sure I didn’t make other people get the wrong idea. Like I dated girls, I noticed them. I mean, it means I’m straight. I just sometimes, no, Seungri sometimes do the unexpected; that’s why I look at him. And no, I’m not attracted. No, no, I mean not Seungri. Ye—yeah.”

                “Based on your own belief, do you think you’re gay?”

                “What?! Of course not, I—I didn’t fulfill the indications.”

                The doctor creased his eyebrows, “And, what are these indications we’re talking ‘bout?”

                “The intern—No, I mean, yea just based on basic knowledge… Isn’t it clear I’m not?”

                “ Well, the intern--?” the doctor tried to fish Jiyong into the answering. The latter only fiddled. The doctor nodded. “Okay, if you are as sure as you are right now; stop searching, Mr. Kwon.” The doctor still smiled. “I need you to stop searching answers and try to control your mind when the question arouse; like thinking of it as a mere passing thought. Can you try that until our next meeting; just two weeks from now? Hold yourself for two weeks, Mr. Kwon?”

                Jiyong started to have difficulty keeping his feet glued. He looked at Seungri.

                “Oh, and will you meet me alone on our next meeting?” the doctor added.

                “No,No!! I prefer it with Seungri—“He panically pulled Seungri’s hand, but released it as soon as he realized his wording. “I—I mean, it’s more comfortable with Seungri around. Nothing else, don’t misunderstand.”

                “Well, okay; just as long as you are comfortable. Can I please talk with Mr. Lee privately before you leave?” The doctor still maintained his professional smile. Jiyong nodded and shook his hand. The leader exited the room and Seungri promptly slid forward.

                “You’re predicament is right, Mr. Lee. But, it is still really mild on Mr. Kwon’s case; the SO-OCD seems to just start developing. Since you live together and as you said; never see any compulsion other than asking confirmation, I need you to watch him closer and find out his real compulsion. Will you do it, Mr. Lee?”

                “Sure, doctor.”

---

                “Where are you going, Hyung?” Seungri creased his brow at Jiyong. The leader had glided pass him the moment he exited the consultation room.

                “H—house?”

                “Why would you want to go back home so early on this time of the day?” a laughter rolled off Seungri’s tongue. It was a cloudy night with cool breezes and Seungri certainly didn’t feel like confining himself in the frame of his house; especially, not when it was their first night here in USA. Moreover, he thought it could be a good change of mood for Jiyong. “Let’s take a stroll and grab something to eat.” He offered his hand.

                Jiyong stared at it for a second. His hand was stretched only to be curled back as fast as it was out. He threw his gaze back to the concrete beneath them.

                Seungri only sighed. They ended up walking side by side. He whistled as they strolled. The cold breeze was hitting his face just in a comforting way. He couldn’t help but in a long breath, “Don’t you think it so refreshing here, Hyung?” he asked.

                “Eh?”

                “We won’t be able to stroll down the city peacefully like we do now in Seoul. It was really nice having you around without additional fuss.” Seungri confessed. It wasn’t that he was bigheaded, but Seungri could actually feel the leader’s gaze had now settled on him. So, he led them inside a restaurant.

                They ordered and Jiyong looked at him with amazement once the waiter left. As if, Jiyong had just seen him in another light which got Seungri confuse. The leader focused on the maknae first time after two days of ignoring his existence, “It is nice having me around?”

                “Of course?”

                “I didn’t burden you? Didn’t tire you out?”

                “Of course not! I’ve told you; you worth more than you think you do!” Seungri laughed at the leader’s silliness. “Don’t say you haven’t realized by now that you’re my favorite hyung! Only blind people can’t tell!” He stopped laughing and brought up his hand instead; propping his head with his hand. “It feels like my body just naturally reacts whenever you’re around. I can’t stop smilling.” His eyes were filled with genuine admiration as he stared at the elder.

                A blush voluntarily appeared on Jiyong’s face. “Did I, really do it?” He slowly aligned their gaze. “I—I made you smile?”

                Seungri didn’t need time to reconsider it. He simply nodded in a heartbeat. They were having a comforting silence between them until Jiyong threw him off guard with the unexpected; he initiated contact! Seungri was thrown aback as Jiyong hesitantly interlaced his long fingers around Seungri’s chubby one.

                Seungri couldn’t take his eyes off their intertwined hands. “Hyung…”

                “You promise won’t leave me?” Jiyong’s gaze quivered and Seungri lost his mind right at the sight. When was the last time Jiyong seemed so cute being vulnerable?! He might have internally squealed!

                “Promise.” He smashed his other hand atop their intertwined. “I’ve been there when you hit rock bottom. Hasn’t it proved enough?”

                And right after the question, Jiyong could no longer contain his tears as he broke down right in that small café; right in that foreign city. All memories of the nightmare from months back rushed back onto him; how Seungri was the only constant in that moment of his life, how Seungri was the only one there to take care of him, how the younger always collected him whenever he was scattered. Seungri had never let go of his hand.

                Seungri always stayed.

                “Did you just notice me?” Seungri chuckled as he leant forward to wipe Jiyong’s tears. “Let me tell you; I am in the same boat with you from the very first time.”

                Jiyong broke into a smile after the remark. His face split into a smile, despite the tears tracing his cheeks. “I’ll get better real soon. I won’t burden you anymore. I promise not to push you from now on. I’ll be good.” He sobbed again as Seungri pulled him for a hug. His cry worsened as Seungri hugged him tighter and tighter.

                In the end, they got the food wrapped up for Jiyong cried too much. Seungri only laughed his heart out when he saw Jiyong pulled away with snot all over his face and the latter whined. They walked home and Seungri couldn’t help but think;

.

.

.

                Ah, maybe, the storm had finally passed.

---

I really need comment!! Someone...? Please? o(╥﹏╥)