YG slumped down onto his seat, massaging his sore temple. “When will all of you seriously give me a break?” He closed his eyes and rested his head, flinching at the sound of ruckuses happening outside his safe dungeon. Different newspapers, magazine, tabloids were scattered all over his desk; all with the same headlines.

                NYONGTORY IS MORE THAN A FAN SERVICE?!!

                BIGBANG’S G DRAGON AND SEUNGRI FINALLY COMING OUT

                FANS ARE CRYING: OUT OF ALL GIRLS, G DRAGON CHOOSES TO SETTLE DOWN WITH HIS OWN MEMBER

                BIGBANG’S G DRAGON AND SEUNGRI CAUGHT KISSING, ARE THEY DATING??

                ON TOP OF FAME, G DRAGON CAUGHT KISSING GUY: HIS OWN MAKNAE, BIGBANG’S SEUNGRI!!

                Seungri clenched his jaw after the repugnant headlines, brows knitted together. He stood beside the full length windows of YG’s office, arm crossed while eyes surveilling the rampaged mass below, unwaveringly staring sharp on a certain man; Jiyong.

                Jiyong was being mobbed; crazy masses were trying to grab a piece of him. And, this sight was silently tormenting him; callously ripping his heart layer by layer while slashing his skin until his blood ran out.

                He wanted to launch there, to shield his leader, to soothe his leader, yet, he couldn’t.

                He couldn’t go there no matter how he wanted it.

                He couldn’t reach his leader no matter how his arms ached to protect him.

                He was forbidden to.

                Jiyong was mobbed, he was pushed, he was pulled, he was kept unbalanced; all those big tall bodyguards were there for nothing. Seungri wanted to scream, to run, and get a hold of his leader; but he had to stay still.

                His body was shaking, fists clutched. This was unfair. Everything was not. His breath was hitched and unsteady, and as every second went by, his breath grew more erratic.

                 He couldn’t stand watching the usual almighty G Dragon, shrinking into a tiny trembling little kitten being preyed by thousands of hungry Pit Bulls.

                He turned his cold shoulder away from the window, sat down and yelled out his frustration as he clutched his hair angrily. How could things come to this extend? How? Weren’t they just fine the day before?

                “Sa-sajang-nim, How—How could things go this way?” Seungri voiced out his desperation, covering his face with his hands. Yes, they had kissed, so what? They didn’t even plan it, it just naturally happened. None of them expected the kiss, furthermore the presence of all those paparazzi.

                That kiss was purely an accident, an act executed by their subconscious. They weren’t supposed to be cornered this way.

                “Do you suppose me to know?” YG bit back sarcastically, closing his eyes while resting his back on his chair backrest. He clicked his tongue, finding himself still unsettled even after throwing his tantrum earlier on both the poor Panda and Dragon. He swirled on his seat and looked at the ceiling, “With what should I feed all those hungry paparazzi now?”

                “Why were they there? Why were we there? This shouldn’t have happened.”

                YG opened one eye, trapping the sight of his artist by the edge of his eye. Seungri was clutching his hands, eyes red which evidently showed he was holding back himself.

                 At this sight, his anger was slowly melted away, his gaze softened as he opened his both eyes. Heaving out a breath, he steadily approached the frustrated latter.

                As he cautiously sat beside his artist he’d considered his own, he silently studied him.

                The grown man beside him was no longer the fifteen year old village munchkin who begged him for a chance. He had grown into a fully capable adult.

                 That moment, he realized. He realized how long Seungri had been revolving around him, going in and out of his building, standing and bowing on stages alongside his other artists, and just heartbreakingly; how long he had been neglecting him.

                He realized he had failed him. He should have seen this coming since years ago; how Jiyong always threw himself all over Seungri or how Seungri always looked up to Jiyong with eyes full of adoration and yearning to be seen. But, even with all the chances he was given, he always stubbornly kept himself blind.

                 “I should have cared more.”

                “Wh-what?”

                “Nothing, don’t mind me.” He got up and stationed his gaze on the baffled man, attentively patted him on the shoulder like a father would do to his son, “Don’t take everything to hard on yourself, kid. The company will find a way to solve this problem. For now, just don’t go out until at least two or three more hours and try to restrain as much as you could from being seen together with Jiyong at public. I’ll leave you for now, just entertain yourself.”

                Seungri was attempting to protest, but immediately pulled back his intention. YG was right, he shouldn’t be caught being together with Jiyong or the fire would only grow wilder. Just how could things turn this way? His mind couldn’t process an answer.

.

.

.

                “I pity you, kid, for you can’t love because you’ve fallen out of public’s category. This pitiful feeling, I know the best.”

                And the door was closed.

                Seungri was left alone, trapped inside a room, withdrawn from answers, and instead greeted yet again by another puzzles.

                He shouldn’t have heard that last sentence.

---

                “Come here… stay with daddy, Ai…” Jiyong stuttered as he held Ai’s paws, his slender fingers trembled. He sweated a bucket in the envelope of his over-worn pajama. “What should daddy do, Ai?”

                He hugged the cat close to his chest. The memory of the event happened earlier that day still lingered hauntingly in his mind; he was mobbed by thousands of merciless hands. He tightened his hold on the poor cat as his body silently shook. The feeling of shoves and pulls he’d got still vivid in his memory.

                Even after rounds of showers and changes of clothes, the pricking sensation when he was pulled and pushed still hot on his skin. The curses and shouts were still clearly yelled next to his ears despite the silence his dark room provided.

                “Ai, Ai… sang daddy a song… anything, anything you like.” He lifted the cat to his face, brushing the soft fur of the happily-meowing cat onto his cheek. He didn’t want to remember.

                Would they demand him to kill himself like they did years ago?

                Would they spit on his name?

                Would they step on his disc and album?

                There’s too many ‘would’ he feared.

                What was Seungri doing now? Was he alright? Was he mobbed the way he’d been? Was YG protecting him? He didn’t want Seungri to get hurt; no one had that right to even leave a scratch on his baby. He desperately wanted to check on him, but he was afraid.

                What if the public had tapped their phone?

                That; would only ignite the fire to be set wilder.

                “Ai-yah… comfort daddy…”

                What if he ended up hurting Seungri more if he kept getting the public misunderstanding their relationship?

                “Ai-yah… Daddy is scared…”

                What if this scandal ended BIGBANG?

                No… He couldn’t take that. That was the least he ever wanted.

                “Ai-yah… Give daddy some strength.”

                Jiyong squeezed the cat in his hug.

---

                The loud music blasted through the speaker, competing with the loud noises inside Seungri’s head. He was dancing excessively, working his body out to get rid of the mess occurring inside his brain. Droplets by droplets of sweat hit the dance room cold tile, his hands were sore and so did his legs, but he ignorantly continued to dance, raising up the music’s volume and changed to an even faster  song.

                It’s been days and he couldn’t get his CEO’s words out of his mind. What did he mean by he had fallen out of public’s category? YG truthfully didn’t solve any problem, in fact he only added more.

                How could things go this far?!

                He’d been asking it again and again, yet no answer came.

                The mass didn’t die down either.

                Did they—did they somehow reach Jiyong again?

                *THUD*

                He fell on the floor, panting madly as his chest bounced up and down rapidly. He pulled up his hand and blocked the irritating light shining on him he used to yearn.

                His body was not in its best shape. He’d been dancing like a maniac for days to keep himself occupied or gyming like crazy he thought he even surpassed Youngbae’s gyming duration.

                 YG building had turned to be his only safe fortress. He’d been sleeping on the recording studio for days and he was beyond grateful that YG hadn’t had the heart to kick him out. Youngbae’s been nagging him to eat and so did Seunghyun kept bothering him to invite him out for burger or coffee.  But at this time of the day, who had the appetite to eat?

                 The only thing he knew the last few days was how to continue shoving them until they eventually backed away in frustration. At moment like this, how he wished all the mass could be just as easily to be forced away the way Youngbae and Seunghyun were, thing would have been tenth times easier for them that way. But to who shall he wished?

                He rolled over and his mind wandered yet again.

                What was Jiyong doing now?

                Was he alright?

                Had he eaten anything?

                Had he showered?

                When he came back to his senses, his hands hand had already voluntarily sneaked inside his bag, searching for his phone. He shouldn’t do that. But, his arms were unstoppable as they rummaged through things until it successfully resurfaced with the thing it searched for; his phone.

                He blankly stared at his lock screen;

                A photo of Jiyong and him; happily smiling, taken during MADE tour…

                They’d been very happy.

                The public hadn’t blindly judged them. The public had even cheered for them.

                The public hadn’t spat on them. Instead, the public had pleaded for their interaction.

                When would that happy time be back? He couldn’t see any light lighting the end of the problem.

                Would that happy time even consider itself to come back to his grasp again? He doubted it.

                Would the mass ever die down?

                If it would, when?

.

.

.

                NO, THEY WOULDN’T.

                them, Jiyong didn’t have anyone beside him to rely on beside Ai.

                Ai couldn’t take care and feed him.

                He gritted his teeth and swiftly turned around, slinging his bag onto one shoulder and slammed the door shut.

---

                Jiyong shivered at the sight of press and fans camping outside his apartment safe zone. His mind momentarily had difficulty registering his situation as his grip on the steering wheel intensified. His heart pace was uncontrollably spurred up as he turned his car back to the apartment’s basement.

                Ai was meowing heartbreakingly in his embrace and he became more panic every second went. The wail became louder and Jiyong was trapped in a save distant away from the noisy world. He harshly pressed his password and banged the door open, ignorantly throwing himself onto his lavish couch.

                Tremblingly, he brought his shaky hand to caress the wailing cat, “Ai-yah… Don’t scare daddy, daddy will call your doctor right away. Sshhh… sshh… You-you’ll be alright. You’ll be fine. Ai’s a good girl.” He tightened his hold and gently bounced the cat in his embrace, pacing in circles panicly in front of his couch.

                He hastily tried to operate his phone, one arm trying his best to balance the crying cat, which caused him to accidentally knock his phone in the process. He groaned loudly and swiftly crouched to retrieve his phone. The moment he saw his phone’s screen, he froze.

                The fall had caused the ‘browser’ app to be opened.

                BIGBANG’s photo was on the homepage…

                What now?

                He read the title in the blink of an eye and his breath immediately hitched. BIGBANG’s photo had just been removed from a CF they’d done earlier this year, their contract was cut after a one-sided decision after their scandal.

                How could they be this cruel?

                No…

                No…

                He abruptly threw his phone and slid onto his couch, clutching his hair as the memory came rushing back onto him like a huge rolling wave. He subconsciously let go of the cat and pulled the hem of his clothes, knees instinctively being brought up to his chest, his nails nearly bitten off.

                He didn’t want to relive those days; the day his and plagiarism scandals rose.

                He didn’t want to be cursed, he didn’t want to be mobbed, he didn’t want to be seen as a disgusting animal, and most of all, he didn’t want to see a petition asking him to kill himself…

                He didn’t want any of that to happen, even more not, that this time; the involved party was not only him but also his maknae.

                Ai’s meows were unheard, the light footsteps had no longer raised his guard, and his silent apartment was no longer sheltering him. He had curled into a ball.

                Where is Seungri?

                “Hyung.”             

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