“YOU!”

Irene shouts, loud enough for everyone at the party to hear her voice. Irene’s eyes are red; her cheeks are tears-stained, and it makes Seulgi stops herself from drinking her beer. Irene then turns her head to the DJ. “Stop that ing music!” and it makes the DJ stops, looking quite scared of Irene’s sudden temper.

Seulgi’s face is so pale, swallowing thickly when looking Irene shots a sharp gaze, eyes b in tears.

“Even Bogum thinks we went out! Great, ha! All of you thought we were a couple, what a joke!” Irene says, and the attention is brought to Seulgi. Joy and Yeri eyes Irene, shocked, closing their mouth with their hands. Irene cries for a while, closes her face with her hands and suddenly tears her hands away from her face, shouting,

“Kang Seulgi paid me 5000 bucks to pretend I liked her! What a deal, huh?”

Silent murmurs and not so quiet whispers is heard at their surroundings, and everyone is eyeing Seulgi in disgust. 

Nayeon who was clinging onto Seulgi’s arms like the latter’s gonna disappear, tears her hands away like Seulgi is a plague. Seulgi didn’t budge at all, her limbs are frozen like a little boy caught stealing cookies at the kitchen.

“Five freaking thousand dollars to go out with her for a month. This girl. Oh god, she bought me. And she had bought all of you. ” Irene spats again, stabbing Seulgi’s heart with every word. Jisoo, Amber and Jihoon that is standing next to Seulgi are looking at her like they can’t believe what Irene just said, so does everyone of the cliques. “She was sick and tired of being a nobody. Yeah, and she said that all of you guys would worship her if we went out. And I didn’t believe that. I was like, no! Freaking! Way!” Irene wants to continue her words when Yeri approach her. “And he was right- No! Don’t touch me, leave me alone.” Irene pushes Yeri softly aside, obviously not gonna stop for now. She chuckles dryly, “You’re right. Our little plan worked, didn’t it Seulgi? At least…….” Irene stops, taking a deep breath while wiping her unstoppable tears.

“…...at least I got paid.”

“Come on,” Joy and Yeri didn’t waste any time as they reaches for Irene that almost faint to Jihoon’s unoccupied bed upstairs.

That left the shocked people with Seulgi at the living room. She takes a deep breath, now facing the cliques. “Jihoon? Jisoo?” but they just turns on their back and ignoring Seulgi. That is until she heard a venomous whisper from Jihoon.

“Get out of my house, nerd.”

Nerd.

The forgotten nicknamed that hasn’t been used for a while on Seulgi.

Heh.

Seulgi clears awkwardly before clasping her hands together, eyeing at the people at the living room.

Amazingly, the people that are looking at her screams ‘get out of here’, too. So without wasting some time, Seulgi slowly walks with a tight lipped smile, like a strained smile. “Uh…. Yeah. We’ll clear everything up tomorrow. Everything is fine, really. Thank you. Happy New Year, everyone.” and halfway walking, Seulgi suddenly falls hard to the floor on the face, earning a painful grunt from the girl. Seulgi had known who tripped her.

Amber.

And it gains some mocking laughter from all of them.

Seulgi tries hard not to burst into tears, so she holds them and slowly stands up, leaving the living room. As she turns the doorknob, she sees Nayeon is looking at her, too. “You ready to go?” Seulgi says, holding her hands out for Nayeon. But Nayeon didn’t look at her face, pulling a face. “Um… sorry, I don’t know you.” “You sure knew me earlier.” Seulgi says, reaching her hands to hold Nayeon’s hands but the other girl is cleverly avoid Seulgi’s touch, folding her arms. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, scammer.” 

That is enough for Seulgi to walk out of the door and takes a few deep breaths while walking home.

Walking home for 20 minutes.

Without any cars that used to take her and drives her to the usual hangout place.

Without any chicks that used to head over heels on her when she winks at them.

Without any cliques that used to ‘worship’ her like she’s a trendsetter.

Without Irene that used to be with her.

None of that anymore.

Because they used to.

When Seulgi arrives at her house, another party is thrown which is her parents’ party. Seulgi is too embarrassed with herself; that she enters her garage, takes a big plastic sheet and spreads it on the floor, and sleeps on it.

Cold.

Uncomfortable.

But it can’t beat how Seulgi’s feeling right now.

Embarrassed, hurt, betrayed, mocked, sad, broken, alone.

Alone without Wendy that used to be with her when she needs the latter.

Alone without Irene.

It’s because they used to.

When the person you know become the person you knew. 

Seulgi knows all of that- but she decides to regret all of it now.

Seulgi realizes her mistakes now,

That she cries herself to sleep.

A few days later, school is starting again. Seulgi wished; hoped that the people don’t talk about what happened at that party. Damn, she was wrong when she walked in the school. Every students is glaring and makes a contorted face, eyeing Seulgi with a judging look. Seulgi hung her head low as she walks to her locker. Seulgi’s eyes are wide; her locker is full with hatred and vulgar words scribbled at the papers sticked so many on the door with a spoilt tomatoes as a finishing touch. Seulgi tries her best to make the best ‘-resting face’ as she takes her books and papers from her locker. That is until she heard giggles, disturbing giggles that is too loud. Seulgi then turns at her back, revealing a student looks at her with a laugh straining face. “Do you take economics? You could’ve had me for forty nine bucks,” and it earns laughter from the other students who were listening at them and pointing at Seulgi.

Seulgi then takes a deep breath, again, as she closes the locker and walks away from the suffocating hallway.

As Seulgi walks, she saw Irene with her friends are talking at the bleachers outside the football field. Wanting to say hi to the latter, Seulgi smoothly approaching them by buying a can drink from the vendor machine next to where Irene is sitting. As Seulgi is busy choosing drinks, the people that is sitting at the bleachers are hurriedly leaving the place when they realized Seulgi is there. Seulgi sighs heavily when she turns at her back and looking that there is no one sitting there.

--

Recess.

Seulgi tries hard to fake a smile when the seats are all occupied, but, some of the are empty; clearly they don’t want to sit near Seulgi. But when Seulgi tries to sit at one of the empty seats at their table, they all stand up and go sit at other empty tables but not with Seulgi. The cold and cruel treatment didn’t stop there, as Amber throws an empty milk carton right on Seulgi’s head. “Incoming! Oops, I didn’t realize it was you when I thought that you’re a trashbin-” and it earns laugh from the cliques.

I can’t take this anymore.

This is too much, make it stop, please….

Seulgi goes out from the cafeteria and sits on the benches facing the soccer field at outside.

Without realizing that Irene is looking at her, with pity.

“You know, I knew that he was scamming us all along,” Jessica says, making Irene averted her gaze to Jessica instead. Irene didn’t reply, she just rolls her eyes knowing that the former is the one that had got scammed by Seulgi.

Dal, who is watching Seulgi too, snorts. “Look at that, she’s been banished! Hahah!” “She should have known that our kind won’t mix with their kind-” Kai says, but has been cut short on Wendy who is glaring at Seulgi. “Our kind? Their kind? That’s basic . She may be a moral leper now, but she had the fast lane to popular for four months.” Kai laughs it off, agrees with Wendy. “Yeah, that’s a good point. I mean, 1250 bucks a month for those cheerleaders isn’t an unwise investment.”

Irene, Jessica and Seolhyun are back from the cheerleading practice, hanging out at Tucker’s. The trio is silently eating outside, facing the road until Seolhyun sees something afar from the road. “Look, it’s the nerd-mobile.” Seolhyun says, snickers as she points to the said car. Seulgi who is driving the car tries her best to hide from the cheerleaders. “Yeah, right… on an ‘automatic’ pilot..” Jessica replies, emphasizing the word automatic. “Like we’re not supposed to who’s spying on us on that spaz-mobile,” Seolhyun says, with a mocking tone. Irene clears , before munching the fries. “Oh, really? I could’ve sworn that a couple of girls I knew got very very comfortable in that said spaz-mobile,” Irene replies sarcastically, making the other two just shuts their mouths and tries to make a poker face while eating their sandwiches, making Irene smirks in victory. 

Burn.

The other day, Wendy is playing the arcade games quite peacefully when she decides to take a quick rest before continue playing her games. Wendy bought sprite and drinks it while sitting at the bench beside the vending machine. But it looks like its gonna be ‘interrupted’…….

By a girl named Kang Seulgi.

Wendy’s body got stiffened and fuming when Seulgi is sitting beside her as she continues to ignore the girl beside her. Eventhough she didn’t spare to look at her left, she knows how Seulgi looks like now; so vulnerable. It is true, indeed, when the girl opens , her voice is so weak, like how your voice turns out to be husky when you cried a lot. “You could at least acknowledge my existence.”

Wendy knew that she need to walk away from there before that longing for someone that used to be so close to you feeling starts to gnaw her feelings. But her ego and anger always wins the battle that she balls her hands into a fist, shaking as her patient getting thinner as the time flies. She silently humming a song as she stands up and wandering at the arcade, searching for a game to play.

To be honest, Wendy thought the girl will just leave her. But no, Seulgi is following her on her back. “You think this is easy for me?” Seulgi says again, exhaling her breath. “I know I was an to you and to thousands of others. But Seungwan, oh Seungwan…… it’s you I gotta straighten this out with.” Not getting a response or a reply, Seulgi pulls Wendy’s arms, making the latter turns at her back, gripping Seulgi’s black shirt’s collar tightly. Wendy’s face is red, full of anger, eyes watery.

“You- oh my god…. you on my house! What do you expect when your own long time bestfriend my house like that?! The hell, Seulgi?? off!” barks Wendy, tears flowing down her cheeks like a river.

She then lets go of Seulgi harshly, making Seulgi rubs her hands to the slightly scarred neck because Wendy just gripped the collar too tight and rough. Seulgi hung her head low, crying again for the hundredth time that day.

“I know, Seungwan, I know…”

The following day, Seulgi faces the day quite normally, trying to get used to the ignoring and bullying at the school. Sure that she’s getting ignored by all of the students; but she endures it better day by day. Seulgi is slowly getting her concentration back in class, and struggling to get high marks for the tests.

Like now.

“The quiz will cover every muscle from the levator scapula to the spinalis thoracis. The quizzes contains 15 mutiple choices and five mini essays.”

Mr. Yoo is busy briefing the students about the quiz he made for his students. Everybody is busy jotting down notes and reminders what to study when they get home later, but someone sitting next to the window facing the football field is distracted.

Wendy is looking at Joy who is stretching with other cheerleaders at the field, noticing Wendy is looking her, and wink at her.

On recess time that day, Seulgi is leaning at the wall of the hallway, silently looks at everyone what they’re doing and stuffs. Until she sees Irene walking through the hallway. Seulgi hurriedly follows Irene from the back.

“Hi, Irene.”

but the latter seems to ignore Seulgi as the short legs is walking faster. Seulgi struggles to keep up with Irene’s fast pace until the latter turns on her left and enters the changing room. As Irene opens the door, many other girls were coming out of the room, making Seulgi getting pushed outside the hallway. Then the warning bell rings but Seulgi just enters the room anyway. The changing room has many booths, making Seulgi scratches her head, so she crouches and looks for the occupied booth and she found one.

Seulgi then stands in front of the booth, sighing. “I’m sorry about having to come in here. But I have to talk to you.” She then leans her head to the door. “I realize what a jerk I became. All I ever did was think about you; dreaming about being a part of your life, and then I get that stupid idea. And I let it turn me into something I’m not.” Seulgi sighs again, her head hung low. The door suddenly opens, and the moment Seulgi turns her head up, revealing Mrs. Chan, the school’s dean. Seulgi’s eyes widen as the woman pick her ears and pulls her outside as she says, “You sure did, you sicko! Playing truant, are you? Detention; one month!”

After the other two had gone, Irene gets out from the booth that has a chair inside it, that’s why Seulgi didn’t know she’s there beside the dean’s booth. Irene sighs, looking down at her left hand.

The purple bracelet Seulgi gave to her.

She still wears it.

No matter what.

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