helloo!! this is a double update so do make sure you've read chapter 12 & 13!! there's some trigger warning again so I put a row of *** to mark where it starts and ends so if you want to skip it look out for the row of ***

Chapter 13

Jihoon POV

I messed up.

I don't know why I decided to break up with Jinyoung out of no where but I knew that I messed up big time and I had to try to get him back, but I decided to let him cool down for a few days and approach him on Monday instead.

By now only Seonho, Guanlin and Haknyeon bothered to still sit at our lunch table and talk to me, Daehwi treated me like I was dead to him as he said he would.

•time skip to monday•

I saw Jinyoung walk into the lunch room and make his way towards a table at the corner and I walked over as he sat down.

'Jinyoung I need to talk to you. I'm really sorry about what happened and I wa-' He cut me off.

Jinyoung's eyes met with mine, his eyes cold and unloving. I had never seen that look in his eyes before. He was always the warmest and most loving person I had ever known. Warm and loving to everyone he knew or didn't know.

'Sorry, I do not talk to strangers.' He stood up and walked away. I couldn't do anything but stare at his retreating figure. Everyone was staring at me and I felt small. I stood up and ran out of the room and straight to the boys changing room. I lost someone so precious to me with just one text. I had managed to screw my whole life up with one single text, just 6 words and my whole life was turned upside down. I lost the one single person I loved and cared for the most.

I knew I had screwed up badly and I had to fix this. Even if it was the last thing I did I would fix this with Jinyoung.

Jinyoung POV

I wanted to hear what Jihoon had to say, of course I wanted to. I wanted to know why he broke up with me all of a sudden. What did I do wrong? I wanted to question him and get all the answers I wanted to get from him.

But I couldn't.

I was hurting inside more than I ever have before and I was afraid Jihoon was just going to say that everything was a prank, so I just decided not to hear anything that he wanted to tell me at all. I wanted to trust him, but honestly after what happened, I didn't think I could ever trust anyone again.

I put all my trust in Jihoon, I gave him all my love because I thought he loved me back too. But I was dead wrong.

I hated feeling this way again, my whole body had scars, I became quiet and closed myself away from everyone again, putting my walls up. I used to hang my head low but after coming to this school and making great friends I thought I never would have to do that again.

Yet here I was walking through the halls alone staring at the ground just thinking about how worthless and useless I am to not even be able to keep friends around for more than a month.

I was closest to Daehwi, Samuel and Seonho but although I felt that they were truly my friends, I couldn't trust them after what happened. I deleted all their numbers, left any group I was in with them and deleted all our conversations.

It hurt but I knew I would continue hurting if I didn't do it.

Third person POV

Weeks had passed since Jihoon broke up with Jinyoung and Jinyoung still didn't talk to anyone no matter how hard his closest friends tried to reach out to him. He felt horrible that he was ignoring them but he couldn't bring himself to be around them.

One day he just felt ty about himself, his day was not going well at all, teachers shouting at him for not paying attention, someone pushing him down the stairs and claiming it was an accident and honestly Jinyoung just wanted to die

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Jinyoung POV

After making my way back home, I sat in my bathroom looking at my mirror, I knew it, Park Jihoon could never be trusted. He said that he loved me and he would never get tired of me but I guess that changed.

It was only about a month and he already got tired of me. I'm the one always being thrown away, left behind because I'm useless, embarassing, disappointing. Hah who would ever want to be seen with me, even I wouldn't want to be seen with myself.

I looked at the razor in my hand before bringing it to my skin, just a daily routine.

One cut. I'll always be useless in everyone's eyes.

Two more cuts. Everyone hates me including myself and people who I thought loved me and were my friends.

Three more cuts. No one will ever love me with how stupid and gullible I am.

Four more cuts. I'll always be considered worthless no matter what I do.

Five more cuts. I'm always never good enough in anything no matter how hard I try.

Six more cuts. I'm a mistake. My whole life is a mistake.

Seven more cuts. I trust too easily, I never should've let my walls down around them.

Eight more cuts. I'm a joke to everyone, they always laugh at how much of a loser I am, always alone, with even my own parents always hating me and throwing me away.

Nine more cuts. Is life worth living anyway?

I looked at the blood seeping out of my skin and dripping onto the bathroom floor and I looked at my razor again.

And finally ten more cuts. Park Jihoon will never love me again.

55 cuts for the 55 days we were together, 55 days where Park Jihoon lied to me. The 55 days that I thought were the best days of my life.

The last thing I saw before I slipped into darkness was the one person I never thought I'd see again.

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hope you guys liked this chapter!! do leave comments so i can improve!!

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