“Do you still not know who she is?” The question hung heavy in the night air.

Jiyong looked straight into Dara’s nervous eyes. His dark eyes twinkled with a light sheen of moisture reflecting the muted glow of the deck lights. After some moment of silent staring, before the water in his eyes could overflow, he broke the eye contact raised his eyes in to the night sky and cleared his throat.

Jiyong was about to say something but Dara’s timid voice cut through the silence, “It can’t be me, right?”

Jiyong narrowed his eyes at her suddenly filled with an unreasonable fury with her, with himself and with the situation they’ve both put themselves in. “Why can’t it be you, Dara? Tell me for God’s sakes why do you think it can’t be you? Damn it. I have loved you my whole life so why can’t it be you? Why make me sign that ing, stupid contract all those years ago? Why can’t I love you and why can’t you love me?” He had unconsciously grabbed her shoulders as he let loose all his anger and frustration. When he saw her flinching a little he abruptly let go of his grip.

Dara cringed at the anger in his tone. She swallowed convulsively. “Because I was young, stupid and scared of losing you altogether.” She took a shaky breath before continuing, “And I was madly in love with you but I was an insecure teenager who felt inadequate next to you all the time. You’re amazing and I’m just me. Maybe, that’s why. Or maybe because I was and still am just a fool who doesn’t know what she’s doing when it comes to loving you. I don’t think I deserve you, Ji.” The tears were cascading down her face by the time she said the last sentence in a barely audible whisper. She covered her face with her hands, crunched herself into a quivering, sniveling ball and attempted to bury herself into the corner of the sofa.

He scooped her up and embraced her, curving his body around her small frame. His fury now forgotten in the face of her misery, he settled his chin on top of her head and wrapped his arms around her. She stiffened at first but when he start patting her back, that was the last straw for her. Her little hands grabbed onto his hoodie and she bawled all her pent up emotions against his chest. She wasn’t the only one who was crying. He was swiping his hand against his eyes from time to time all the while as she was crying her heart out. How long the moment lasted nobody knew but he held her until her sobs quieted to little snivels.

“We’re a pair of stupid idiots. We deserve each other.” Jiyong made a weak attempt at a joke when they have both finally calmed down. Dara shifted, he tightened his arms in response afraid that she would jump up and leave but she only moved to shift into a more comfortable position in his arms where she could comfortably look into his face.

“You cried,” Dara observed as she saw his puffy eyes and red nose.

“Real men cry, you know,” Jiyong proudly said. Dara rolled her eyes at him.

“But seriously, Dee, why did you make me sign that contract before?” Jiyong asked her again. There was no longer any trace of anger in his tone, what was left now is the desire to understand her motives then.

“Bom and Top had a fight on that night remember? That’s why we girls got ourselves drunk in the first place. They were the best of friends, too, before they became a couple. That fight they had was the worst. The whole group was a mess because of that fight. Before they were a couple they were so close, almost like the two of us. But then after that fight they couldn’t even stand being in one room with each other. Our kiss that night shook me, Ji. It happened so close after their fall out. I like the feeling of kissing you so much but at the same time I wanted to erase it from my head. I looked at them and I looked at us. I couldn’t imagine a future like that with you. It was an easy choice for me at that time. I thought becomin