The bus ride with the father-son duo was serene but longer than how Jeonghan remembered it to be. Unlike the last time, the bus cut through the lengthy village, which once used to be really casual and laid-back. There were barely any green areas to sightsee since most of the land had been turned into roads, houses, markets, buildings, and all that stuff. The remaining ones were either wild or neglected after cultivation. But that was just how the world of capitalism worked; city growths led to migration, too much migration then could lead to overpopulation; yet he couldn’t help feeling sad and regretful – it somehow implied how long he had been gone.

The walk from the bus stop was scarcely five minutes and there they were, the familiar red-bricked wall in sight. It was too quiet for Jeonghan’s liking since the older had yet to utter anything and Chan was unconscious in his arms, so he broke the silence with a small talk.

“This place always gives off this certain welcoming and safe vibe no matter how long the time has passed.”

Seungcheol didn’t reply as if he didn’t even hear anything. He slowly led them pass the church area, which looked rather deserted and gloomy. No one was seen, not Mother Ryu, not Father Jang, not even the kids who now would’ve grown much bigger and taller that he wouldn’t recognize most of them anyway. The older finally, though quietly, said when they were out in the yard, “I want to show you something.”

The forest was gone, but the mist was too thick for Jeonghan to see what was beyond the metal fence. Cheolie’s stable wasn’t there, but Jeonghan didn’t dare asking because the atmosphere suddenly became so tense he thought the temperature dropped a bit. They eventually stopped in front of one delicate white gravestone, which stood out from the other murky grey ones. There were a small vase of fresh flowers on the left and a beautiful statuette of Saint Mary on the right – like the typical gravestone you would see on movies.

He would have questioned on why they stopped there had his eyes not quickly fallen on the epitaph. “…E-eomma?”

“Han, I’m so sorry. I tried, but I couldn’t save her…”

His legs could no longer take it and he flopped onto the grass, his hand shaking on the cold marble surface. “What do you mean?! You’re a doctor! How couldn’t you…”

Seungcheol placed his free hand on one of the bend shoulders. “Han, not all the times that doctors can…”

The younger’s laugh that was uncontrollably coming out like that of a madman paused Seungcheol. “You’re lying…right?”

“Jeonghan.” The older’s tone changed a bit, closer and more animate.

He shoved away the hand. “Liar!”

“Jeonghan!”

He snapped. They were…back in the apartment sitting on the bed? Jeonghan blinked rapidly in confusion, unaware of his own heavy panting and the older’s strong gaze that was on him.

Seungcheol wiped off the sweat as placing another hand on his forehead. “Nightmare?”

The younger blinked again to regain his track of time and place, situation. “…U-um.”

Finding no sign of fever, Seungcheol’s wrinkle flattened. “Wanna talk about it?”

Jeonghan slowly looked down. “I dreamt of…my mom.”

“At the hospital?”

Unconsciously digging nails into the older’s shirt, his face slightly swinging side to side. “No, we – you, Chan, and I – were in the church back in Gyeongbuk. And then…in the backyard, I, I saw graves..my-” Suddenly, warm tears streamed down his cheeks. “…I..I’m scared, Cheol. What if-”

“Me too.” Seungcheol began with his soothing voice that had Jeonghan look up. “The thought of ‘what if the story you told me yesterday is true?’ terrifies me, but you know what,” he immediately added before the younger could counter with anything, “eventually, somehow, everything is gonna work out.”

“How can it be okay unless…?”

“Because they’re all mere what-ifs.” He finished with a soft pat on the head who was pouting adorably, “Anyway, you won’t just sit around, doing nothing about your dream, right? Let’s go.”

Blatantly changing the topic, Seungcheol pulled them up altogether with one arm’s strength – the kind of strength Jeonghan should and had got used to a long time ago, but it was still impossible for him not to get astonished every now and then.

-

“Woah, you must have been living real lowly, huh? How come no one knows who you are?” With his questions which came out rather like complaints, Seungcheol sat them down on a bench in the waiting area after a young nurse left saying she would inform the patient’s guardian first, though she continued idly in the opposite direction of his mother’s room – as Jeonghan’d whispered to him. It would be fun to think about; if she knew about Jeonghan’s identity, would she still make the same decision of leisurely granting – if not ignoring – the favor?

“What’s the point in that?” The younger’s response brought him back to reality. Jeonghan leaned on his back, stretching a little bit in the process.

“Maybe you’re right.” He was gonna let it go, but another thing fell into place in his mind. “But what about the last time you visited her? At least someone must know you.”

“Well, it was four in the morning, everybody was asleep, so I just kinda sneaked in.”

“They sure do a good job that I’m so proud to say this is the hospital I work at.” Seungcheol groused, slightly shaking his head with a disapproving face.

“It’s fine, Cheol.” Chuckling, the long-haired reassured the worried-for-nothing dad with a pat on his thigh.

Seungcheol set down the teeny head of the tiny baby, who had fallen asleep yet again, onto a more comfortable position on his collar bone. And another thing hit him. “Why were you here with Chan the other day? Perhaps you haven’t…?”

“How did you know?” Jeonghan blurted out of curiosity but quickly figured that wasn’t the main issue right now. “Haven’t introduced Chan to them? Honestly speaking…that almost happened had I not, at the very last minute, realized I shouldn’t – couldn’t – do that without your permission. After all he’s your son, not mine.”

The younger’s words were full of disappointment, but why? “Thank you,” Seungcheol replied.

“For not going in there?” Jeonghan glanced shortly at the baby then back at the dad.

“For being considerable and not doing it without my permission.”

“You’re welcome.” Jeonghan gave a wide beam but soon snickered. “…What?”

The older, though collecting his dropped jaw, continued to sport the something-is-wrong, disbelieved, droll expression on his (handsome) face. “A-are you…? No – right? – because ‘my’ Jeonghan would get frustrated in situations like this.”

Jeonghan, leaning closer with perfect eye contact, said in his steadiest tone possible at the moment. “So now I’m not your Jeonghan anymore?”

Seungcheol was in absolute panic because: is he getting mad? “Y-you know that’s not what I meant. What I was tryna say is, um…”

“Aigoo, who’s getting frustrated here? My Seungcheol would never get frustrated in situations like this~” The older’s lost puppy eyes had been and would always be his weakness that Jeonghan had to let go of his little mental game and his laugh.

The realization that he was being teased brought a blush to Seungcheol’s cheeks as well as a soft laugh. It soon died down. “Reciprocating these words with you sounds fine and everything…but if this relationship isn’t meant to be…” A sigh. “I’m scared, Han-ah.”

“And who told me not to be because they were mere what-ifs?”

“That was just me trying to show off, but you know me…” Seungcheol admitted shyly.

The long-haired felt a little victorious, authoritatively taking the other’s hand into his without even looking up. He continued quietly as if talking to himself, “Hmm, even if my parents accepted the fact that they would never have a daughter-in-law, I really don’t think they would be okay with ‘that’ of their own children.”

“You’ll know how they feel when you become one.” Seungcheol kindly remarked.

“You wouldn’t be not okay if that happened to Chan?”

“At least I hope that will never happen.”

“…Makes sense.” Jeonghan gently caressed the other’s knuckles with his thumb. “So I guess you’re not coming?”

Seungcheol eyed the baby in his arm for a short while before meeting the chaebol’s eyes again. “Well, if Chan wasn’t with me, I would consider that option. You need a companion?”

“No, just asking.” Jeonghan lied. He was nervous as hell, but if Seungcheol didn’t want Chan to get involved in their already-a-mess relationship, he wasn’t going to force him – not that he had any rights to anyway.

The nurse slowly emerged from the opposite direction of where she had been supposed to be. Seungcheol stopped her with the question he more or less knew the answer to just because he wanted to somewhat jog her memory. “What did the CEO say? Can we pay a visit?”

As soon as she heard him, her face turned so annoyed and ready-to-drop-a-bomb like someone had forced her to eat a bee nest, but she instead apologized. “I’m sorry that we are a little bit busy here. I am about to inform the guardian right now.” She bowed with an audible snort and went, this time, on the right direction.

Seungcheol waited until she disappeared behind the pricey looking door that he started firing away his dissatisfaction, “I can’t believe she is chosen to be here. I mean, I don’t wanna drag the VIP issue and whatnot because we medical workers should treat any patients equally regardless of their wealth or the ward they are in – but it seems I just did so anyway…such a grace to the hospital.” He puffed to end his little speech.

“Can you just let it go?” Jeonghan gave a chuckle and a nudge by the elbow. Did they swap personalities today or what?

“You take good care of her, okay? Don’t worry about us.”

“Hmm, I wil-”

A group of doctors, out of nowhere, passing them in a hasty manner grabbed the long-haired’s attention. The older soon followed his eyes’, which were tailing after the group, which vanished behind the pricey door. There was a mix of beeping sound from the inside. Jeonghan wanted to stand up, but suddenly his strength was nowhere to be found. “No…way.”

The nurse got back quickly this time – at least she now seemed to be working – with a real uneasy smile on her face. “P-please forgive my ignorance! I didn’t know you were-”

“That’s okay. You didn’t know.” Jeonghan, with the help from the other, was now on his feet. Despite his shaking legs and hands, he demanded dismissively, “What’s going on? I believe she was fine a minute ago?”

“Madam indeed had been fine. The CEO actually said himself she had been sleeping for quite some time. When I informed him about your appearance, he asked if ‘someone with a child’ came with his so- I mean, you. And just then, her vital signs drastically dropped so I called for the doctor. She looked fine and everything but…” The nurse paused to catch her breath.

“Speak.” Growled Jeonghan.

Whether he had really changed from the eight-year-ago Jeonghan or it was just him overthinking, all Seungcheol could do was giving their hands a firm squeeze. “Jeonghan,” he whispered into his ear to remind the younger not to rip in two the nurse before them who looked terrified enough.

“We can’t seem to wake her up.”

Be