THIRTEEN

“Why did you do that, grandfather?”

Chanwoo hated at how weak and defeated he sounded in front of his grandfather – like a wounded animal. But then he realised that the simile was an accurate representation of his current emotion despite his better judgement and he hated even more that he couldn’t concealed it like he usually does.

His grandfather sat behind his desk with his back straight and his chin held high, impassively staring at him, not saying anything.

“Father and Taeho –”

“Your father is weak and emotional. A pathetic man who thinks with his heart and not his head. Constantly being clouded with his own emotions,” his grandfather spat out. A look of disgust came over his face, his jaws clenched tightly. “I will never let Taeho be the Chairman.”

Chanwoo sighed, “Grandfather –”

“If Taeho becomes the heir, the truth of his birth will be revealed,” his grandfather seethed.

Chanwoo froze. He felt his heart stopped beating. This was the first time he has ever heard his grandfather mentioned it since it was always been, unspokenly, a forbidden subject.

“The revelation will ruin this company and the family’s reputation.” His grandfather’s eyes hardened, his stare intimidating. Threatening. Chanwoo’s throat closed. He had never been intimidated by him but now he was. “I will never let that happen. You will not let it happen.”

"Taeho is the only one who doesn't know about himself and it will stay that way," his grandfather continued steely.

Chanwoo looked desperately – pleadingly – at his grandfather, his eyes slightly glazed. Why won’t he try to understand the difficult position he was been put in? “I don’t want to fight my father and Taeho,” he breathed, “It’s not worth it for me.”

His grandfather’s eyes flared. “You will fight, Chanwoo,” he growled. Then, his voice softened a little but his stony eyes remained. “I’m doing this for you. If Taeho becomes the Chairman, not only will he destroy this company but he will strip you until you have nothing. But if you do, you will have all the power that you want and you can do anything. You are the true heir because I have faith that you’ll continue to lead this company into even more success.”

“So, instead, you want me to strip Taeho until he’ll have nothing? My father too?” Chanwoo asked.

His grandfather’s jaws clenched. “Once you’ve become the Chairman, Chanwoo, you’ll understand. You’ll understand that you need to defend what is yours. Whatever it takes.”

Chanwoo swallowed his suddenly dry throat as he felt his shoulders sunken to the heavy weight of his grandfather’s words.

That was what I’m most afraid of: becoming like you and father…

******

Jinhwan’s eyes rounded in surprise when he saw Ju-ne entering Yunhyeong’s restaurant and headed straight to the table where he, Yunhyeong and Donghyuk were sitting around.

“Oh, Ju-ne,” he called making Donghyuk and Yunhyeong halt their conversation and look up in the same direction. He frowned when he saw the crestfallen look on Ju-ne’s face.

“Hey guys,” Ju-ne murmured tiredly as he slipped his jacket off and draped it behind the chair before sitting down, his body slumped forward and hunched.

Jinhwan and Donghyuk exchanged looks with each other, their eyebrows slightly raised.

“What’s wrong with you?” Donghyuk asked, amused. “Bad day with Hanbin hyung?”

“For once, no,” Ju-ne muttered.

Jinhwan tapped his arm slightly. “Didn’t you said that you have a dinner date with Chanwoo tonight?” he asked gently.

Donghyuk’s eyes widened in shock. “What?!” he shrieked, “A date?!”

Both Jinhwan and Yunhyeong glared at him. “Yah! Donghyuk!” Yunhyeong chastised, slapping his arm. “My customers!”

Donghyuk gasped. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, bowing his head to the people around them that had turned their heads at his sudden loud voice and smiled apologetically. Then, he turned back to face Ju-ne and leaned forward, his eyes widened in shock again. “You and Chanwoo are together? How come I didn’t know about this until now?”

“We’re not together,” Ju-ne muttered sadly. The truth in his own words only made the pang in his heart worse.

Donghyuk frowned and seeing that Jinhwan quickly placed his hand on Donghyuk’s arm to stop him from asking any further questions. Although now confused, Donghyuk understood and leaned back on his chair. Jinhwan patted his arm, wordlessly thanking him.

“What happened with the dinner date?” Jinhwan asked.

“Chanwoo cancelled it. He messaged me.”

“So, he agreed and then cancelled it?” Yunhyeong frowned. “That’s not like Chanwoo to back out on a promise. I’m sure it’s because something important came up at the last minute,” he reasoned. “It happens a lot with his job.”

“Yeah,” Jinhwan agreed, patting Ju-ne’s shoulder comfortingly. “I’m sure Chanwoo has a very good reason. Just wait until he gives you a call.”

Donghyuk’s frown deepened as he listened, his eyes, restlessly, darting between the three men in front of him. His mind was whirling in utter confusion.

Yunhyeong smiled at Ju-ne. “Cheer up, Ju-ne. It’s just one cancelled date. You can just ask Chanwoo out on another…and another,” he encouraged.

Ju-ne nodded his head as Yunhyeong’s words seeped warmly into him. He picked up his fallen heart. It was hard and a little bit painful to constantly take Chanwoo’s rejection but he had said he was going to fight; and he already knew that fighting for Chanwoo wasn’t going to be easy – like Yunhyeong said he can’t jump at Chanwoo, he’s got to slowly approach him otherwise he will run away. He can’t give up; his heart will get hurt even more. Besides, he further told himself, he probably became too sensitive about the cancelled date and overthinking it - a cancelled date sometimes was inevitable. He’ll wait and listen to Chanwoo.

“You’re right,” Ju-ne said, his voice stronger. “It’s just one cancelled date.”

Jinhwan and Yunhyeong smiled reassuringly at him but Yunhyeong felt his heart constricted at seeing the sad emotion reflecting in Ju-ne’s eyes despite his words. Lately, it's all he seen between them.

Donghyuk shook his head and leaned forward. He has reached his confusion limit. “Okay, will someone finally tell me what’s going on?”

All three men looked at him, looking slightly startled. They nearly had forgotten that he was sitting with them.

Donghyuk scrunched up his shoulders. “What is going on between you and Chanwoo, Ju-ne? You’re not together but you’re going out on dates…and hearing you talk, clearly, it’s serious...! And, more importantly, why didn’t I know all of these before?” he exclaimed.

Ju-ne gave a small smile. “It’s complicated.”

Donghyuk quirk his eyebrows. “Chanwoo complicated?” he scoffed in disbelief. “That’s hard to believe.”

******

It was dark and silent as Chanwoo entered the Columbarium. His footsteps echoed eerily, bouncing against the walls, as he walked along the dimly-lit corridor, heading to where his mother rests. For the first time in his life, he felt the cold and emptiness in the loneliness at being the only alive soul in the building. It ate his heart mercilessly and that made his longingness for his mother even more so. He quickened his steps to her.

He doesn’t know why but once he stood in front of his mother, the feeling of relief and calm washed over him like he felt safe and comforted even though he knew it was ironic to feel that way when the urn he saw only further confirmed his mother was no longer alive.

Chanwoo smiled warmly as he pressed his palm against the glass. His aching heart pushed his hidden emotions to the surface harshly. He took a deep shaky breath.

“Omma,” he swallowed, “I know I promised you that I wouldn’t cry in front of you,” he pursed his lips; it was getting harder to speak. “But today, just for today, can I cry?” His vision started to cloud as tears gathered in his eyes. “It’s been a hard day for me and..uh…” But he couldn’t finished his sentence as his emotions broke free and choked him into a sob.

He dropped his head, his shoulders shaking as he cried for the first time since his mother’s funeral.

“Omma,” he cried, “What do I do?”

But there was no answer, only the echoes of his hallowed crying.