TWELVE

“You talked to Ju-ne, didn’t you?”

Yunhyeong feigned an indifference look, blinking his eyes innocently at his brother. “What would I talked to Ju-ne about?”

Chanwoo narrowed his eyes.

Yunhyeong sighed, surrending easily. He’s never been good at acting or lying. He put his chopsticks down and folded his arms on the table. “He was really hurt when you rejected him,” he said.

Chanwoo felt his heart throbbed. “I know,” he murmured.

“Ju-ne looked so heartbroken and I wanted to help ease the pain a little.”

Chanwoo kept his eyes cast downwards, dipping his spoon into his bowl of rice and then pulling it out, absentmindedly stabbing his white rice. “What did you say?”

“That when it comes to your feelings you think too much.” Then Yunhyeong added, “I told him you’re also stubborn as hell.”

Chanwoo chuckled lightly as a small smile made its way to his lips and Yunhyeong smiled too. Then their smiles faded and the light tension crept slowly back in between them.

“I wish you didn’t say anything,” Chanwoo said quietly.

Yunhyeong frowned and he opened his mouth but before he could say something, Chanwoo stopped him.

“I wanted to end things with Ju-ne,” he sighed. “Take a step back and just…” He faltered, the words from his mouth left hanging.

“And just what?”

“I don’t know,” Chanwoo sighed again, “Keep a distance and being just normal friends.”

“Can you do that?” Yunhyeong asked straightforwardly. “Can you really just be friends with Ju-ne? And watch him be with someone else?”

Chanwoo looked at his brother impassively, ignoring the pang in his heart. “Why can’t I?” he asked back. “Ju-ne deserves to be happy.”

“What if being with you is what makes Ju-ne happy? What if Ju-ne is that one person for you?”

Suddenly, Chanwoo smiled warmly at his brother and a dimmed light twinkled in his dull eyes. Yunhyeong was taken aback at the sudden change of mood. “You’re such an incurable romantic, hyung. Even though it’s kind of disgusting at times –” Yunhyeong slapped his arm. “- but I hope you’re always romantic. I hope that you’re always think that loving someone is all that matters.”

Yunyeong felt his heart constricted. “Does it not?”

Chanwoo warm smile turned into a wistful smile. “Not for all of us.”

******

Ju-ne nibbled on his bottom lip, his index finger running in a circle over the rim of his wine glass. He sighed. “Hyung,” he called to the person next to him.

Jinhwan tore his eyes away from the TV and looked at him expectantly. “Hhmm?”

“What is the best way to win someone’s heart?”

Jinhwan grinned. “Is this about Chanwoo?” The light pink colours that appeared on Ju-ne’s cheeks answered him. “Well, aren’t you the expert? Out of all six of us, you’re the one that had the longest relationship.”

Ju-ne dropped his head. “I never had to win Minhyuk’s heart,” he muttered. “We were together for so long that there was no need to make that kind of effort to each other.” He shrugged his shoulders. “We had similar likes and dislikes so there wasn't anything to figure out.”

Then, it was in that moment that Ju-ne realised that there wasn’t any dull ache in his heart when he talked or thought of Minhyuk. There was no pain, no lingering affection or regret either. Instead, his heart was only filled with a bittersweet feeling of the man he once loved. He loved Minhyuk but not anymore. Because of Chanwoo.

He put his wine glass down on the coffee table and shifted on the sofa, pulling his long legs up and crossing them. “Hanbin hyung said that skinships can make them get closer to you faster.”

Jinhwan rolled his eyes. “And that’s why Kim Hanbin hasn’t had a proper relationship since his puberty,” he scoffed. He patted Ju-ne’s knee affectionately. “Ju-ne, in order for you to win Chanwoo’s heart, you have to know what kind of person Chanwoo is and understand that. It’s not all just about his likes and dislikes; his values, how he views about life – the all-important things about him.”

“Chanwoo is so private – he hardly talks about himself. Or rather…” Ju-ne paused for a moment, “…he doesn’t want to talk about himself.” He pouted, “I only know what he likes to eat, what his favourite sport is, what kind of things makes him laugh…”

“Well, you can just start with that then,” Jinhwan advised. “Then you can get to know him more by listening and paying attention to him. Little by little, I’m sure, Chanwoo’s heart will open up to you.”

“I really like Chanwoo, hyung,” Ju-ne emphasised. “I really want to be with him.”

“I know,” Jinhwan nodded his head; he can see the sincerity of Ju-ne’s words reflecting in his eyes.

“He’s the first person ever to make me feel this way,” Ju-ne revealed, “I thought a lot about him and all I could come up with at the end was that if I don’t fight for him and just ignored my feelings, I’m going to regret it; regret of not being with Chanwoo and wondering the rest of my life on the what if’s. I don’t want think that Chanwoo could’ve been the best happiness I could’ve ever have and then I let him get away because I wanted the easy way out.” He paused on his ramblings; his chest felt a bit lighter now that he got all that conflicted emotions out but he knew that it will even lighter if the person that was listening was Chanwoo instead of Jinhwan. He sighed, “That’s why I’m going to fight for Chanwoo because I know that there is a chance for us to be together.”

******

Chanwoo could barely registered on what happened; his head was suddenly very slow on wrapping it around him but Ju-ne clearly meant every word when he said that he would not give up.

Ever since that day, at the baseball field, Ju-ne began to use the messaging app to Chanwoo as his personal Instagram, spamming his phone constantly. He would send short messages to him:

Have you ate your breakfast?

How’s work so far?

Did you get home okay?

Goodnight, Chanwoo. Sweet dreams.

and pictures of himself during his daily activities; and screeshots of the movie or TV shows he’s watching, and quotes from the poems that he liked, sometimes poems that he wrote himself – which often are too deep and sentimental for Chanwoo’s liking but nevertheless he still saved them in his phone.

Everyday, Chanwoo would at least – minimum – received ten notifications from him. He would, also, often call him and they would be random and sometimes the conversation are short and simple but he would still call him.

He, admittedly, found it quite endearingly, heart-fluttering – and amusing - witnessing the amount of effort Ju-ne was making but at the same time they are making his heart heavy; it was getting harder to ignore his feelings for him. He felt the stinging in his heart gets worse everytime he said no to Ju-ne.

Chanwoo had just finished conducting the meeting with his colleagues when Ju-ne called him. As he waited for the lift to arrive, he pulled out his vibrating phone from the inside of his pocket. His thumb hovered on the green answer button and he stared at the name. He sighed and reluctantly, he dragged his thumb across his screen and pressed the phone to his ear.

“Yeoboseyo?”

“Hey!” Ju-ne chirped and Chanwoo can’t help but smiled at his high tone.

“Hey,” Chanwoo said quietly.

“Are you going to work late again tonight?”

“I don’t know, it depends.”

The lift dings and slide its doors open. Chanwoo stepped inside the empty lift. It’s an hour early from lunch time so the building was still calm and quiet.

“Well, don’t work too late. Let’s have dinner tonight.”

Chanwoo hang his head, the stinging in his heart dive up, resurfacing cruelly. “Ju-ne…” he muttered.

“It’s just dinner, Chanwoo,” Ju-ne cuts in softly. “I miss you and I want to see you…Is that wrong?”

A sharp knife twisted Chanwoo’s heart harshly. It was always those simple words that hurts the most.

“You like seafood, don’t you? I found this great seafood restaurant online. It’s near Hongdae. Let’s go together.”

Chanwoo stared at the descending numbers on the displayed screen as the thread of his mind twirled and untwirled itself. After a beat, he quietly answered, “Okay, fine.” He could literally hear Ju-ne whooping over the phone. He resisted the urge to grin.

“I’ll send you the address and we can meet there…unless you…want to go there together…?”

Chanwoo sighed at Ju-ne’s obvious hint, “I’ll pick you up at your work place at six.”

“Okay! At six o’clock sharp, I’ll be downstairs, ready and waiting for you.”

“Okay.”

There was a long pause that stretched between them.

Chanwoo frowned, “Why aren’t you hanging up?”

“You hang up.”

Chanwoo rolled his eyes but he couldn’t stop the grin from appearing on his lips. “Fine, I’ll hang up.”

He pulled the phone from his ear and pressed the red button, ending the call. He smiled to himself when he imagined Ju-ne scowling at his phone.

The lift stopped, sliding its doors opened, and Chanwoo stepped out, his warm, carefree attitude immediately dropped to be quickly placed with a stoic and reserved manner. Never show your emotions in front of people, they can easily manipulate and use it against you. He slipped his phone back inside of his pocket as he made his way across the lobby, to the building’s entrance and outside where his grandfather’s car and driver were already waiting for him.

“Young Master,” his grandfather’s driver greeted him as he opened the car passenger door for him. Chanwoo nodded his head and gave a small smile at him as he clambered in. The door was shut with soft thud. His grandfather acknowledged his presence with only a small turn of his head in his direction before looking ahead as the car drives away. Silence immediately engulfed them but Chanwoo doesn’t break it. He learned quickly from a very young age that when it came to his grandfather, you don’t speak unless you are spoken to. So, if his grandfather doesn’t say anything throughout the whole car ride then he won’t saying anything either. He looked out of his window and watched the buildings blurring passed by.

His grandfather cleared his throat loudly. Obediently, Chanwoo tore his eyes away from the window and turned to look at his grandfather.

“When I gave you the position of Chief Financial Officer, I expect you to be my extra eyes and ears on the suspicious activities that may occur in that department,” his grandfather gruffly said.

“Well, clearly you have better extra eyes and ears since you seem to know something without me saying anything,” Chanwoo answered back. His grandfather was not impressed with his remark and glared at him, his jaws clenched tightly. Chanwoo sobered and bowed his head slightly as an apology. “You’re talking about Taeho’s account activities. I’ll admit the amount of money he has been withdrawing and transferring the last couple of months are questionable. But I didn’t report it to you yet because Taeho have been very smart about it and I can’t find any trace of where the money went to. Once I do find out, I’ll report it.”

His grandfather hummed lowly, his head turned back ahead. When he spoke, his voice were dipped dangerously low and Chanwoo instantly knew it was his warning tone of voice. A warning to him. “Chanwoo, I do not approve of you defending Taeho –”

“I’m not defending him,” Chanwoo cuts in. His grandfather glanced at him stoically. He dare to stare back with equal stoicness. “There’s no reason for me to do that. I’m just trying to do my job without making any mistakes.”

His grandfather’s face remained expressionless but he nodded his head lightly.

Chanwoo knew his grandfather care for him and often defended and protected him from hungry piranhas – particularly piranhas in the forms of his father and Taeho, and everybody who supported them – but, he also knew that, his grandfather’s care was limited and conditional. He only cared for Chanwoo if it specifically concerned himself, the family and the company’s reputation; if it doesn’t, then he would blink a blind eye over it. As long as it was under his grandfather’s terms, Chanwoo was shielded.

The car pulled to a stop and the conversation ended like it had never happened.

Chanwoo followed a respectful step behind his grandfather to where the lunch meeting, his grandfather had informed him, was held at. His head down and his hands tucked in his trousers pockets. When he entered the private lunch room, his eyes widened in surprise. Seated around the rectangle-shaped table are all the members of the board of directors of the company. The feeling of uneasiness washed over him at the setting of the lunch meeting. He was not aware or told by his grandfather what the purpose of the meeting was, only that his attendance would be very important. As he walked around the large table and sat himself down on the empty seat next to his grandfather, whom, of course, as the Chairman, sat at the head of the table, the feeling of uneasiness sunk deeper in him making his heart pound in a slight anxiety when he noticed the absent of his father. Chanwoo frowned. If this was a meeting of board of directors, why wasn’t his father, the Vice Chairman, present? He glanced at his grandfather. What was he up to?

Chanwoo knew, having attended the same types of this meeting many times himself, that the reason to the meeting will eventually surface and reveal itself, so he patiently ate his lunch, drank his glass of white wine – that he doesn’t really like but it would be considered rude to object to it – and occasionally engaged himself in the conversations. He proved himself to be right, when once the last lunch course had finished, his grandfather cleared his throat to gain the attention to speak. All eyes around the table turned to his grandfather. For some odd reason, Chanwoo felt himself holding his breath in.

His grandfather smiled. “As you all gentlemen know, Mr Moon is retiring soon,” his grandfather announced, his voice clear and strong. All men turned to look at the man sitting on the right side of his grandfather, whom in return smiled and bowed his head. “Mr Moon was appointed as the President of this company after the tragic death of my second and youngest son.” Despite the heaviness of the words, Chanwoo could not hear any tinged of grievance or sadness in his grandfather’s voice. “And at the time, my grandsons were too young to fill in that position. I had appointed Mr Moon and he had faithfully served me and the company for the last twenty years. I am forever grateful for his dedication and loyalty.” His grandfather purposely drawled out the last word to emphasised the importance of the word and that of his life motto. “With Mr Moon’s retirement, it is important and crucial to the company that the position is replaced immediately.”

Suddenly, Chanwoo’s throat goes dry and a sense of heavy dread slowly filled him up, easily blending in with the uneasiness and anxiety already in him. He felt cold. He, now, knew the reason for this meeting.

“My grandson, Chanwoo, will be the next President and the heir to this company, and thus will be the future Chairman.”

A chorus of agreement and applause flooded the room but Chanwoo could hardly hear it. His heart had stopped beating. What he feared the most was happening. The noticeably absent of his father in the lunch meeting, despite having the second highest important position, was done purposely and calculatively by his grandfather. His father would’ve opposed as he wanted Taeho to be the heir; and his new position as the President will be above Taeho’s current position within the company. So, his grandfather had went behind his own son’s back to get what he wanted.

His grandfather eyed him, wordlessly, telling him to address the members of the board of directors. With heavy reluctance, Chanwoo stood up and bowed to the men sitting before him. “Thank you. I shall do my best as the new President and as the –” Chanwoo gritted his teeth and forced himself to calmly let out, “heir and future Chairman of this company just as my great-great grandfather, the creator and founder of this company, my great grandfather and my grandfather had all proven to be.”

The members of the board of directors nodded their head approvingly, smiled and applauded him. He smiled and bowed again before sitting back down. He glanced at his grandfather who stared at him with a hard face and steely eyes. Chanwoo swallowed his dry throat. He knew the look on his grandfather’s face very well. His grandfather was getting ready for a battle. Chanwoo felt his heart twisted and a dark shadow cast over him.

The great war was about to begin. The infamous war for the throne. A war that is fought in every generation like an endless cycle. A war that Chanwoo doesn’t want to be part of. And for the first time in his life, Chanwoo wished he was never born.

******

Ju-ne’s heart leapt when he saw a message notification from Chanwoo flashed on the screen of his phone. He smiled giddily as he leaned back on his chair and opened the message with the press of his thumb.

Ju-ne, I’m sorry but I can’t make it to dinner tonight.

His smile disappeared and he could feel his heart dropped to the ground.