Chapter 11 

"Changwook Oppa! I'm home!" Yoona call out hesitantly, as she enter their bedroom. It had been months since Changwook was release from the hospital. Most of his physical wounds have heal of which Yoona was extremely thankful. However, they were both having a very hard time coping with his blindness. 

After all this time, she never knew what to expect from her husband anymore. Changwook had been unpredictable due to his extreme mood swings. Some days, he would be fine, accepting and learning to live with the fact that he was blind. Some days, he would lash out at anything and anyone near him and more often than not, the person he target was Yoona and he would always be sorry afterwards, begging for his wife to forgive him. She had tried to get Changwook involve in business again, but he had adamantly refuse. He rarely left their bedroom since it was the only place he felt secure in and had learn to move around in it with no aid from anyone, "How was your day?" Changwook smile. He stood up and open up his arms. Yoona rush into them. She was happy that Changwook was in a good mood today. 

"Oppa, I finally finish project 93. Isn't that great? The first model will be ready in less than a months time." Yoona share her exciting news. 

"That's nice, dear." Changwook answer in an 'I could careless' tone. 

Yoona immediately felt him withdrawing, "Did I say something wrong?" 

Changwook ignore her as he walk away and sat down on the bed, "What were you doing?" Yoona ask again, in an attempt to draw him back into a conversation. 

"Counting sheep! Just what do you think this blind person could be doing?!" He retorted nastily. 

Something in Yoona finally snap. She had tried to be as sympathetic and supporting as she could and had endure countless heartaches and insults all these months. Enough. Maybe she was really hoping that Changwook could celebrate the project's completion with her or maybe she was just too stress out but whatever the reason was, she's had it with Changwook feeling sorry for himself. 

"Last I check, you are still a fully functioning human being and you could be doing a lot of things but no, poor Changwook had to wallow in self-pity and refuse to face the world again." Yoona replied sarcastically. 

Changwook was startled at Yoona's tone of voice, "You have no right to say that to me. You have no idea what being blind is like." 

"Oppa, I know it's difficult but we could learn to deal with this. It's not the end of the world. For heaven's sake, you are alive. You are smart, you have a chance to make something out of your life, doesn't that count for anything?" "Alive?! I can barely go to the bathroom without tripping on anything! I hate living like this!" Changwook yelled, "I wish I was dead." He finally whisper. 

Yoona was shock to the core at his defeatist attitude, "I never realize that you were so selfish. Do you know how much you are hurting me by saying things like that? You have no idea how happy I was to find out you weren't kill." 

"I wanted so badly to be able to take care of you. Yoona, I can't even see your smile anymore." Changwook said sadly, "I don't want you to spend the rest of your life taking care of me." 

"And you are doing such a great job of taking care of me right now." Her eyes burn but she refuse to shed any more tears, "That's a bunch of crap! If you would get off your and start seeing a therapist and learning the skills needed for a blind person then you won't feel so helpless!" Frustration was very evident in her voice now. 

"I would still be blind. I want to go ahead with the operation." 

"No. We talk about this before. I don't want to risk losing you." Yoona felt her heart clench at the thought of losing her husband. 

"I can't live like this. I don't want you to worry about me for the rest of your life." 

"Oppa, put yourself in my position. Are you telling me that if the situation were reverse, you wouldn't gladly spend the rest of your life with me even if I'm blind if the alternative is that you might loses me?" Yoona challenge. 

"Of course not, but the situation isn't reverse." 

"There is no talking to you. I'm sorry but I have to get out of here." Yoona left in a huff. 

"Yoona, wait!" Changwook call out, but it was too late. He wanted to run after her but of course, he couldn't. He flop back down on the bed, his entire being burning with frustration. A part of him accepted what Yoona was telling him. He could still be productive even without his sight but he was just not the type of person to live like that. He felt like a creep for hurting Yoona again and again, but somehow, he couldn't help himself. He tried to make life easier for her but for some erse reason, he kept on fighting with her. Was it because he was subconsciously driving her away? But the thought of life without her was unbearable. What should he do? 

Changwook impatiently punch his talking clock again, "The time is 11 pm." An electronic voice announce. Where was Yoona? She's never been out this late before. Worry gnaw at him. What if something happen to her? He thought about their argument earlier. He would never forgive himself if something happen to his wife. 

His heighten senses of hearing pick up the faint sound of a car pulling up to their driveway. He sat up and waited for his wife to enter their bedroom. The strong smell of liquor wafted to his nostrils the minute Yoona enter, "Where have you been?!" Changwook demanded, "Have you been drinking and driving?!" 

"Oppa." Yoona giggle, "I thought you had be asleep by now. I'm sorry to disturb you." She ignore his questions and went to the bathroom. 

Changwook force himself to sit still. Yoona finally emerge from the bathroom and got into bed, "Yoona?" 

"I'm very tired. Could we just go to sleep?" She yawn and turn to her side and for the first time ever, she slept facing away from him. 

Changwook felt a new kind of pain coursing through his being when Yoona did this. He console himself with the fact that his wife was probably too drunk to realize what she was doing. He move closer to her and cuddle her securely against his body before finally dozing off.