No matter how much I’ve tried to wake up early in the morning, I always ended up getting late. Raising my right hand in the air with my eyes are still closed and say, “5 more minutes” to Haesung doesn’t even help. I woke up for the next 30 minutes instead. So, panic, is what I do to start my day everyday.

“”

I throw my thick blanket away and run into the bathroom before I heard a flipping sound of a paper that stopped me and there he is, Haesung, reading some books on the corner of the room. Looking casual sitting with his legs crossed with short pants as if he’s not going to do anything next other than studying.

“You always wake up at this hour why do you even swear” he ask, flipping another page.

“How do people even wake up early? How do people get rid of lazziness every morning?” I ask back.

He smirk. Still focusing on the page, “I guess some things never changed”

I look up to the clock. Its nearly 7 am. That means I need to prepare things for 30 minutes maximum. And I need about 30 minutes to reach school by car. Wich means I need to stop calculating math on my brain and start showering right now because probably Im gonna be late soon. Instantly I grab the towel and rush back to the bathroom. Like, ASAP. I took off my clothes as fast as I can. Ripping them hard didn’t really care about it. What fills my head is only regret and anxiety. I feel like a loser because I always repeating the same mistake over and over again. I know that thats what makes me a mess. I know for sure, that thinking about these feelings won’t help me fix my problem. It just making it bigger. Makes me mad sometimes.

When I get out, Haesung already gone. Maybe he found a good place to read his books or something. And so I run to my room, wear clothes and grab my bag and head down to the stairs. Looking at the clock right now, I soon lost my apetite. Yup. Breakfast can skip.

On the corner of my eyes there’s Haesung starring at me busy finding my socks,“Tae, don’t you eat your breakfast first?”

I shook my head, and look around. The house looks empty as usual.

“Where’s mom and dad?”

“Dad left for work at 6. Mom’s still sleeping”

Like always. I hummed, “Don’t you have class today?”

He grinned, “Days off”

“Tch. Im so jealous”

“Anyway”, He suddenly fix his way of seating, “When will you be back home? I’ll pick you up”

I raised my eyebrows. Why all of sudden...

“Eh? What about Jeongmin?”

“I’ll tell dad. He’ll say yes. Easy. We could hang out after you finish school”

This is good. This means I dont have to kiss his dirty mouth. I dont have to his like yesterday and those days before. I could rest and close my eyes on the front seat without worrying if somehow a hand would reach for my chest or touch me down below without my will. This is good, even if it’s only for one day, it’s good. Finally I feel safe. For once.

“We could stop by the street and buy vanilla ice cream?”

Oh my gawd. “HELL YES”

[]

For so many times I run again today accross the school hallway. I sigh in relief knowing there’s no teacher yet on my class, everybody was just busy chit chatting with other. Some sits on the desk playing with their gadget. Good thing is, Im not late, but still feeling a little embarrased for always being the last one attending.

I glance on my seat only to find Tiffany, the new girl, isn’t there but her bag is. Some group on the corner of the class got my attention. They’re laughing about something that probably funny since they’re laughing so loud. My eyes keep trailing them until a pair of eye caught me offguard. It’s her. Hurriedly I look away. Saying hi to Sunny and Yuri at the middle behind my old seat. Anything I could do to play cool because I dont want to think I was searching for her when Im not. That eye contact are unnecessary and I hate it when unnecessary eye contact happen. The first day we met was okay until days passed without we ever talking so it’s painfully awkward.

I passed next to where that Tiffany girl’s bag laying on my old seat, little pissed off to be honest. When I ask if there’s an empty one, she pointed at the other corner. Behind those noisy boys, far away from the whiteboards. Which making me more pissed than before. It’s not because I hate that Tiffany girl or else, but I can’t clearly see what the teachers are going to write on the whiteboards. Yes. I wear glasses sometimes. But it’d do nothing usefull at the back. I know Im a nerd.I cant just tell that Tiffany girl to move away, that would be rude. Also, I’ll be too far away from my friends. Who am I going to talk with?

Already couple if minutes passed and I guessed it right. The next teacher came and then started the class. I can’t do much other than listening to whatever they’re saying by resting my chin on my palm. Probably nodding if they see me. But even though my vision is unclear at this rate, it’s not blury enough for me to see Tiffany talking to Sunny at her back. They’re talking and soon laughing. I wonder how did they get along so fast.

[]

“Taeng, let’s go get something to eat. Im hungry”

Here is Yul, Yuri preciesly. Long black hair with that brown skin suit her the best, and I admit she look good with it. She have those round dark eyes, match with the rest so well. No wonder I’d thought so, many boys at school fell for her charm. Different than me, Yuri is quite a talker. Talking to someone seems to be the easiest thing she could do. Something I cant have.

“Sure”

Her arms grabbed and pulled mine so I had to stand straight with my lazy legs. If only my eyes didn’t trail off, I wouldn’t have shared eye contact with Tiffany girl behind Yul. Her arms crossed, facing Sunny behind her letting her bangs fell into the side of her face while her warm-needle eyes found me, blankly looked back at her. . I coughed and looked away instead.

“Erm, why don’t we go to the canteen with Tiffany? Maybe she want to go too...?”

“Oh. She already brought luncbox. Sunny’s with her”

Just freaking hoped that she didn’t hear what I said. Hopefully.

“Okay, lets go”

[]

“Whats up with you today, Taeng?”

“Huh? Fine”

“You seems different than usual. I dont know, it’s like you’re.. off” she chew another chocolate bar, casually throw the plastic on the table and soon open another one.

I took off my glasses and put it inside my pocket, “Well, sitting in the back causes enough problem to me. I can see nothing at the front and it’s been a week. Anyway, can I copy your notes?”

“If its bothering you so much why dont you tell Tiffany then” this tall idiot ignored my question.

I shook off my head, “Nope. She’ll be uncomfortable at the back”

Really, those boys dont deserve Tiffany. Who knows what they gonna do if she sit with them?

“Still, talk to her about it. Tiffany’s nice. Im sure she’ll understand” but I didn’t answer back. My answer is still the same.

“Okay, Taeng. As you wish. Now come on. Run with your little short legs. Bell is up”

“ you, Yul”

[]

Sunny was there with Tiffany during the break time. I dont know what’s so intresting on watching them talking to each other but my eyes wont move away ever since the first day Tiffany moved in. Im ceratinly sure that Im not obsessed with her. Of course not, Im straight! It’s not like I keep starring her the whole time, it’s just when I dont have something to do, I glance to their direction and doze off a little. And ended up being looked back by Tiffany.

Yuri came to me with her notes and I said thankyou, just in time the last subject start before finally the next bell ring as the sind of the end of today class. Speaking of her notes, I also said that I’d return it on Monday, since today is Friday and there’s no classes tomorrow. She nod and pointed her thumb on me. I sigh, finally I could have a bed rest tonight.

“See you, Taeng” Sunny wave her hand, being cheerfull as ever already packed up her bag and ready to go with Yuri, “You sure you want to spent your Friday night alone?” she smirk.

“Nope, you guys go ahead. I’ll catch up later. Bye”

They smiled back and soon as they leave, the rest are too. Which I thought I was alone at the class trying to call Haesung when suddenly I saw Tiffany was still at her desk looking at me. But didn’t say anything.

. Whattodowhyareyoustarringatmelikethat.

“Uh.. You’re not going home?” I bit my lip.

Her hands patt her bag couple times, her eyebrows raised up. As if she’s okay with this awkward atsmosphere and play along with it while Im stuck here with these weird feelings.

“I thought I was gonna to talk to you for a while. Do you mind?”

What.

Ahsgmdahacbakuc

“About..?”

“Yuri told me something that you have blur at far sight”

Yuri you’re dead. You are ing dead.

She got up from the chair. Now I remember how tall she is,“Im sorry, Taeyeon”

“Eh? What for?”

“ I really dont know this seat was yours because it’s empty so I sat here. You can’t see clearly at the back right? If you want to switch then I dont mind”

“It’s okay Tiff. Yuri’s just overreacting it’s not really that blurry at the back. Chill~”

Good excuse. Good.

“Really? But-“

I know she won’t give up that easily. If she insist I dont know what to say next but then my phone rang with Haesung name appears on it. I picked it up immidietly before she could say anything.

“Yes. Hello? Haesung? Where the hell are you? Overslept? You idiot” I glanced at Tiffany, will she be okay alone?

“Yea Im still here. No- Im with Tiffany. Just some friend. Uh-huh. Okay I’ll be on my way”

I ended the call with a slight touch on the X sign, and found that Tiffany’s eyes was still looking at me. With a concern look?, “Was that your brother?” she asked.

“Yup. Im gonna go to the lobby. Wanna join?”

She paused, didn’t say anything but looking down at her feet. Of course she’s still thingking about seats and stuff. I chucle, “Tiffany, chill. It’s okay. It’s a little blury but its fine”

“Well, you could switch with Henry’s?”

I raised my eyebrow. Henry’s is next to hers, “I’ll tell him if you want” she said.

I cant say no to that, right? If there’s one thing new I know about Tiffany,then that would be that she, is stubbornly nice.

“Whatever you want, Tiff” I scratch the back of my neck that’s not itchy at all. Seems like I cant win in any debate with her.

She suddenly change from being silent to cheerful in a minute. And her eyes formed an eyesmile same with her lips, “Great! I’ll tell Henry then. Let’s go to the lobby”

I grab my bag, and we walk through the hallway. The situation was really nice. It feels warm here, looking at the golden sunset on the sky while there’s seniors who’s playing basketball on the field, soon they’re big exam are coming up they release their stress by soing sports. It’s strange. I never feel this way before. Everyday is the same, but today, it feels warmer.

Tiffany was being silent all the way to lobby, but not being totally off like me today. She just didn’t talk much but spreading her smile to everyone we met. Appearently, she already made alot of friends. Until we reached the lobby and there’s Haesung with dad’s car parked next to him. She stopped suddenly.

“That’s your brother? That’s Haesung?” she asked, I follow where her eyes are looking at and it goes straight to my brother.

“Um.. yes?”

“Dang it, Taeyeon. He’s so handsome”

“Oh” I wonder why everything turned to grey so fast.

“Who’s gonna pick you up?”I asked trying to change the topic.

“It’s my mom. She’s next to your brother”

I didn’t relize there’s a woman not really far from Haesung, she’s resting her back on the big SUV car looking at us. It’s so luxurious, though. So, Tiffany is really rich then?

Tiffany reached for my hand and pull it so we walk together. I know she only did this because she only wanted to see Haesung closer. The way she see him, I could see it clear. She has a little crush on Haesung. Her eyes can’t stop looking at him. Kinda feels like my chest is getting heavier and heavier to breath. What is this feeling called?

She let go of my arms and walk to her mom, glancing over Haesung and Im suprised to see Haesung did the same. Im all left alone here, people. Haesung even smiles a bit to Tiffany before she enter her car with Mrs. Hwang. Such an idiotic lovers. The more I see it the more I want to throw up. Better get inside and cool my face with the car’s Air conditioner.

“Taeng, thats Tiffany?” Haesung got in asking me furiously.

I groan.

“Really?!”

I groan.

“Wow. She’s super hot”

WTF.

“Ouch- ouch! Dont hit me it hurts!”

“Just drive you ert. Buy me ice cream or something”

Haesung laughs off. He started the engine while the car next to us too. What is Tiffany thingking right now? Maybe she’s drunk with Haesung right now. Ah whatever. Our car started to move, as I rest my head, looking at the reflection on the rearview mirror. The Hwangs are behind me, on the same road going out of the school enviroment. And just like that scene from the movie Fast and Furious, we splited going on our on way.