Yesterday when I went home from school, Tiffany wasn’t there. I looked up around the class to see if anyone hasn’t gone home yet, but I got the feeling that I was alone. The chair was all tidied up and there was no bag hanging on each. The seat next to me as well. I was getting much more convinced that she got mad.

The next morning is just like the typical mornings before. I opened the classroom door before the bell starts and those extroverts gathered in the center creating noises with their laugh, Tiffany will be there too. We used to share a short glances the time I stepped my first foot the class. But today, I looked down and went straight to my seat. She would probably ignore me and does the same anyway.

The first teacher came in and she wrote the summary on the whiteboard. We got quiet. Only the scratch sound that can be heard between the chalk against the board. This situation is ideal for studying, but I would be lying if I say that I could concentrate with the lesson. Because the only thing that catches my attention, is nothing else but Tiffany Hwang.

The teacher walked outside the class after my friends. They left, and so the class became quiet. I look into my right slightly so I can see what she’s doing when finally nobody’s around. I think it’s safer that way. When my gut tells me that it’s time, I moved my head a little. Half relief, luckily she’s not looking anywhere else but down to her hands.

Looking from this side seems pointless yet I couldn’t dare to take a step further. But one thing fo sure, behind those bangs, there is a girl who’s in no mood to tolerate with jokes. She’s dead serious starring down to the phone on her hand, like something frustrating her out. It was around a couple of minutes I studied her until she began to stand up, putting her phone inside her pocket and left. I watched her back leaving the class, still can’t explain how my eyes can’t look at something else.

[]

“Aren’t you going to the cafetaria? It’s break time?”

I glance to my back, where the voice came from and smile a little, playing nice. “Oh, hey Jess. I’m not really hungry” She nods, reaching over for Tiffany’s seat, then placing herself comfortable.

“Is there something you want to talk about?” I said turning away from my notes. No respond after that, only the weird look she has on her face.

“What?”

“What makes you say that?” She chuckle. “I’m not two face, Taeyeon. Come on” Jessica tilts her head starring at me and I still couldn’t get what she’s talking about. I was left dumbfouded, when she took my notes and fliping from page to page without even reading it with her typical sassy style, throwing me with a smirk while doing so.

“Erm... okay?”

She fakes a cough after rolling her eyes,“You make me look like I came here talking to you just because I need your help...”

I gasp. “That’s not what I meant!”

“That’s okay. Though that was not a really nice thing to say when people want to talk to you. I guess you can’t really control something that come out of your lips. You’re that kind of a tipe, I think. Just like me,” She laughs. “Except I’m worse”

“Sorry. I really didn’t mean it.” How did a person like Jessica Jung put some sense into my head like that?

“You’re right, anyway. I did come here because I have something to ask you. Nothing much, actually”

“What about?”

“Oh. Just some gossips I over heard of”

“Does that have something to do with me?”

She shrugs. “I think so.” Okay. This girl needs to drop my notes right now if she’s not reading it and start talking because she literally suceeded at catching my full attention.

“Tell me,” I grab her arms. “Who are they? What were they talking about?’

She fold her arms to her chest, made it to escape from my grip. “They talk loud,” She rolls her eyes. “Those social climbers asked Tiffany if it’s true but she don’t have any idea. You’re not telling her anything? I thought you two were close?”

Why putting Tiffany in this? We’re not even that close. “Stop being mysterious. What social climbers?”

“Whoa. Calm your tities, Taeyeon. Why are you freaking out?”

My are ing calm the .

She giggles. “It’s not about something bad. I promise”

Still. I want to know.

“Girls at the back were talking about you and a friend of yours. I have to say you are so much surprises, Kim”

“I still don’t get it...”

She sigh. “I’m talking about our senior. You know, that Choi?”

OH. Oh . I thought they were talking about something else! “. That’s it? That’s what they talked about?” I rub my chest. Damn, my poor anxiety heart.

She jolted. Surprised the hell out of me. “How the heck do you call that ‘that’s it’? That’s some cool , you stupid! Who doesn’t know Sooyoung? She’s like, the most popular girl on school!”

“Well, yeah. I guess...” I scratch the back of my head, which is not itchy at all. “Why do you guys make such a big deal out of it?”

“Because she’s untouchable, you ,” Jessica rolls her eyes so hard I want to laugh so bad. “How did you two get close anyway?”

Should I tell you? That would make another gossip.

“I don’t know. She know my brother so she know about me. And we kind of hung out sometimes. Something like that...”

“Hmm,” She paused. Then nod, “Well, you just wait and see. They will ask you about her after this break-,” The bell rang just in time after she said it. Holy . “...Which is now”

I curled my eyebrows. “How do you know that?”

She smirks, looks like devil. “I smell fake people, Taeyeon”

When Jessica started to stand up and leave, I heard those familiar murmuring sound that was getting closer by the classroom door. The first person who appeared was nevertheles Tiffany Hwang, along with her smile, laughing with her friends behind. I starred at her for too long she realized that, then her smile dissapeared.

Her friends were following her from behind, but when they saw me, they walked straight to my direction, while she’s already back to her seat. I was surrounded without knowing what they were doing, until one of them asked me about Sooyoung. Jessica was damn right. They are noisy social climbers. All I ever think about was how Jessica surprisingly right about them.

I answered them as much as I can, but my voice couldn’t keep up with theirs. They were just too loud, maybe too excited about it. Tiffany clearly could hear what they were talking about, and I glance to see what expression she has. And I found that she just didn’t seem to show that she care. At all.

[]

“Soo, there’s something that’s bothering my mind”

I’ve talked so many things to Sooyoung. Including about Haesung, school stuffs and friends, and when Tiffany moved in, she began to be my new topic. People at school don’t think that it’s usual for me to be friends with Sooyoung.

They think it’s weird and not polite. Some think that it’s cool and . I get what they’re thinking, but simply having a conversation is not a wrong thing to do if you’re close with someone even though they are older than you, at least that’s what I think.

“What is it?”

“Look, I don’t know if you know this but,” I hesitate for a second, I speak as quite as possible, and covering my mouth. “Tiffany acts strange nowadays”

“Like what?”

I pulled Sooyung’s ear near my mouth. There’s no way I could let anybody around here hear this. People are already starring at us. This was a mistake from the beginning. I can’t talk to her in the cafetaria.

“I may sound weird. So, please be quiet for me,” She nod.

I inhaled deeply. “I think Tiffany flirts with me”

“WHAT THE F-” she throw her face in surprise and I just look at her with my casual pale face resting on my palm, letting her laugh out loud. I knew her reaction would be like this. Let me just wait until she’s done.

“Look at your face,” She said. “Come on. You can’t be serious”

I shrug.

She drop her head, nodding and shaking it. She put her hand in her forehead, while little gigles escaped from her lips. “Taeyeon. Oh my god.. wow.”

She bit her lips, stares around, then leans over and speak, “You know, it’s a girl you’re talking about”

“Well, I think it’s obvious that I’m not joking?”

“Holy ”

“Yeah. It’s gotten even weirder if you would just listen to the rest” I breath out.

“Listen, I’m not telling this to anyone, not even with Haesung. I’m telling you this because I need a way out and clarify things and I trust you to help me out. I’m not joking, Sooyoung” I give my temples massage as I let my groans speak how stresfull this is. “Maybe I’m just too confuse or something, I don’t know”

“Right. Sorry” Now she knows I’m serious. “It’s just... I’m shook. That’s all. Can I ask you something?”

Well that’s random. “What?”

“What makes you so mad about this?”

Hm. I don’t know. “Do I sound mad?”

“Yes. Very”

“Something’s wrong with me and I don’t know what is” I raised up my head before Sooyoung starts assuming something. “I’m not gay, though”

“I know you’d say that”

“I-”

“So Haesung doesn’t know?” she cut me off.

I shook my head. “That would be crazy. He’ll be furious as hell”

“Okay. So you were saying that Tiffany is...?”

This dilemma.

I really want to tell Sooyoung how I feel about Tiffany, which is nothing but confusion, yet I know exactly how she’d react to that. On the other hand I can’t keep this to myself. I need to tell someone about it, and Sooyoung is the best out of them.

“Do you know that feeling when there’s this stranger you met not long before but you feel like they know you for the time of your life? Then they suddenly they’re gone but they’re actually there right next to you but act cold like you don’t exist?”

I nod, agreeing with my own statement. “It’s pretty much like that”

“Okay wait,” She raise her hand. “Are you guys fighting?”

“Yup”

“Why? How? And how am I supposed to know what she’s look like if you both are arguing? Do you have a photo of her?”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “Why should I take a photo of her? It’s not like I like taking selfies...”

“Oh yeah you right. You’re such a weird girl, Tae. Are you even a girl?”I roll my eyes. “Anyway, continue. But I can’t judge her until I meet her in person, okay?”

“But you can judge me?”

“Depends. Hehe”

I roll my eyes. “So yeah. Tiffany is pretty weird”

“Or maybe you?”

“That’s so ing rude. I didn’t do anything!”

“Then what did she do?”

“Well- hmm”

I paused. There’s a chance that Sooyoung might think this is normal for girls when they do something like Tiffany did to me. Especially for bestfriends. Yeah. Bestfriends. Tiffany and I are not bestfriends. This is not normal and I know there’s something strange between us.

“We held hands once. But the way she held it, it’s weird”

“Like how?”

“Like she’s....” Clingy? “Too clingy”

“Hey. Some people are just like that, Taeyeon. Girls like us, even. Maybe she didn’t mean to flirt with you. Maybe that’s the way she is.”

“No. I know what I’m saying. See, there’s one time when she took my arms then she leaned on me without saying anything. And there’s this time when she, uh.... OH! She look at me with a different look she has on everyone else. You know what’s weird about it?”

Sooyoung furrowed her eyes, shaking her head slowly.

“We’re not even friends! We just met and we never talk! HAHAHHA”

Okay. I just sound crazy.

She inhaled deeply. “Okay,” Raising both hands in the air. “Fine”

“But, girl. You listen to me over here. Maybe she’s just wants to be friends with you. NOT with romantic feelings, okay? I don’t know. She could be- hey! Come on! Where’re you going?”

I left as soon as she said that. Can’t believe I told her that and she still denying it. “I’m going to buy some orange juice!” I shouted back.

Great. Shouldn’t have done that. Now people are scanning me even worse.

While I’m paying for my orange juice, a thought came right through my mind. Jessica. Group project. Today.

OH .

I forgot to text Haesung that I’m coming home late!

I typed on my cursor ‘Where are you? Will you pick up like usual?’ And I clicked send. My right hand was holding my phone while the other hand was holding the orange juice. I typed as I walked to the table where Sooyoung was at and yes it was dangerous.

My focus was being splitted between typing with my thumb even though I only typed a short sentence to Haesung, and at the same time I had to glance up for a couple of times to know where I was heading to. And that’s the moment when I caught something with my eyes that I’m hardly believe.

I almost dropped my juice I just bought. I was so surprised I felt inside of me starts to falling like a broken pieces of glass on the ground. Some thing familiar to me happened again. There’s Tiffany, took my place again as she sit in front of Sooyoung while handing her some files.

I gulp. What the should I do?

I decided that I keep going. But what’s the plan? I’ll just sit there next to Sooyoung comfortably, drinking my orange juice, scrolling through my phone with the zero notification, and avoid eye contact as much as possible.Yeah.

Calm down, Taeyeon. Look at your . Are they calm?

Nope.

That’s fine. Just play with it.

While my eyes aren’t focus anymore with my phone, I walk straight to them. As I get closer, my concern gets bigger. I’m afraid my heart beats too loud that they might hear it. And it’s gets wilder and out of control, without me having full othority out of my own eyes, again, she looks at me and I look at her.

Then Sooyoung notices where Tiffany’s looking at, as she turns her head over to her back. “Come sit. We’ll get back to that you were saying but now I have something to talk about for a minute”

I lower my gaze, finally freed my self from being traped within those eyes. I don’t want to see it, I repeated to my self time to time, and I tried to be still next to Sooyoung but how am I supposed to do that when I can feel myself being touched with her eyes?

They are talking about something I don’t understand. Something with a school club and clothes, design, fashion? Are they talking about fashion club? That’s what I heard. I glance carefully to the papers Tiffany handed to Sooyoung, but I can see nothing so I give up. At least I know she’s into fashion. Sooyoung asks her another question and Tiffany answeres them with polite manner. I’ve never seen her so obidient before.

“Thank you for your time and super vising. I should get going now”

I jolted. It’s not Sooyoung’s voice. Is she leaving already?

Sooyoung nods. “Sure. Your welcome. I’ll see you every Thursday”

“Wait!”

They froze. I found myself already looking up to Tiffany. Sooyoung turned her head instantly and Tiffany stopped, neither sitting or standing, in the middle, then slowly returned sitting.

“Do you remember the project Mrs. Rose gave us? It’s been almost a week and we don’t have any progress,” I clench my fist below the table where she can’t see. “Well, we agreed that we will have a small discusion not so long. Will you be there?”

Sooyoung glance at her then me in repeat. “You guys know each other?” That was two questions.

“... Is it today?” She speak, so low.

My eyes may be blurry, but I can clearly see her face from here, that she shows no signs of bitternes. Almost like... guilt?

“Yes. Will you be there?” I repeat.

“Sorry. I have other things to do”

Oh. Okay.

Sooyoung blurted out before laughing. “Why am I sensing weird things between you two?”

“I’m sorry. If I knew we have a discussion after school, I’d be around you but since you told me just before this, it’s too sudden so...”

“Right. Sorry about that. I should’ve told you before. I tried to talk to you but it seemed like you were not in a good mood so I kept being silence. I thought you were mad at me. Haha”

What the was that? Did I just say THAT?!

“W-what?”

“Well, yeah. I noticed you were not like the usual. You seemed totally different suddenly and I thought maybe I made a mistake and I hurt you,”

I clear my throat, “I’m sorry, Tiffany. For whatever the reason is, I’m sorry”

“Wait. ‘Tiffany’?” Sooyoung stares deep at me with schock. “This ‘Tiffany’?!”

I kicked Sooyoungs feet under the table. Cursing everytime and wonder why do I have such a dumb, popular friend that everyone like.

“W-why are you apoligizing?” I dare to glance up but the view was not like I expected. I didn’t expected she’d look so confuse like this.

“I made a mistake. I’m sorry if I hurt you”

“Taeyeon, no. Stop it...”

Huh?

“You didn’t make a mistake and you didn’t hurt me. I thought I was the one who hurted you. I thought you were mad at me?”

I smirks. “Why the hell would I do that?”

“Y-you don’t know?” She furrows her eyebrows.

“Know what?”

“Yeah, know what?”

I roll my eyes. “Sooyoung. If you can’t stop being a I’m going to kick your ”

“...”

I clear my throat. “Sorry about that”

“Taeyeon, I think we should talk in private. Sorry, senior Choi, I don’t mean to offend you but-”

“What? Why? Just talk here. It’s fine! Right, Sooyoung?” she makes an OK with her hand. “See?”

She sigh. Took her long enough before she started talking, but I can wait. “Okay,” She inhaled the air slowly, it just look like she’s about to say something bad.

“Remember that day when your brother came to pick you up when it was raining? I was with you and I was waiting for my mom to pick me up.”

It was almost a week ago when you held my hand, and yes. I do remember that day. I just don’t understand what it has to do with this.

“Your brother took you first to your car then he went inside to get me. I don’t know if you noticed it but it took a little longer” I nod, but I have a bad feeling about this. “You see, we had a talk”

“What talk?”

“Well,” another deep breath. “He asked me if I...”

“What?”

“At first he... we just said hi and stuffs then we talked for around a couple of minutes before we went outside. Then he asked me this”

“Asked you what?” I can’t control my patience anymore.

“He asked me if I could be his girlfriend”

I thought I misheard it. But when I see her face, and when I glance at Sooyoung’s, she’s surprised as much as I am. Not only to be surprised, it’s also kind of hurt inside. And it’s spreading wide. My mind stopped working as I’m denying everything she just told me. So I ask her again. “Wait, wait. I don’t understa-”

“I said yes” She looked away. “...I said yes”

“Wait.” I shook my head. “Why haven’t you told me before? Haesung didn’t tell me anything.”

“I asked him to do that. I wanted to tell you by myself. Then when you suddenly look mad I thought you already know so I-,”

“So every night Haesung went outside, he was hanging out with you?”

“Y-yes...”

“What about the group? Is that why you can’t come? Because both of you are going on a date?” . My voice is shaking.

She doesn’t answer. I don’t give a damn anymore.

Sooyoung is right. I’m overreacting all of this. So ing stupid.

“Taeyeon...”

My phone vibrates suddenly. I dive my hand inside my pocket and found a single text from Haesung, while both of the two people in front of me are starring at me like they don’t have something else to do. I slide my finger on my phone and the message opened up.

‘Sorry I can’t come to pick you up. I’m a bit late got something to do. Very sorry. You can wait at your friend’s house or else, just give me the address. I’ll probably be there at 6. Again, very sorry’

Really. They didn’t tell me , and now trying to lie?

“Taeyeon, I-I’m so sorry. I should’ve told you before. I know it’s strange but please, can I-,”

“Hey, Sooyoung.” I turned away. “Can I crush at your place for a while? Haesung can’t come over because he got something to do. I don’t know what is.”

“Dude, but she’s-,“ Sooyoung bit her lip. Her eyes glances a couple of times at Tiffany, until each glance become too long to be called glance. She starred at her and something makes her widden her eyes, but I don’t really care about right now.

“Yeah, okay. Sure”

Then I left. With my orange juice of course, the only thing that makes my head lighten up a bit the whole day.