Taeyeon’s POV

     After what happened a few weeks ago the girls resumed their individual schedules and they also promised to visit the dorm often when they weren’t busy. I’m currently getting ready to leave the dorm to visit Pany-ah, as usual no one was at the private cemetery, and I brought Pany-ah a bouquet of pink flowers. I sat down near her grave and just casually talked to her as usual.

     “Hey Pany-ah, it’s been almost two years since the company promoted us a group after what happened, and since our contracts are expiring next month we’re all not sure if we should still continue, I’m not sure if I still want to resign, I mean I can never imagine hearing our song without your voice….it just feels so wrong. The girls and I talked about it a few times already, but we’re still not sure…I mean I still want to sing and make people happy through my music but I also want to be free to it in my own way.” I said as continue to tell Pany-ah about my thoughts.

    “Maknae told me that she might not want to resign her contract and just focus on her acting career as well as Sooyoung and I can understand that but still…SNSD is a nine member group, when Sica left a few years ago things changed and now you’re gone and those two are planning to leave too, and I don’t think I can listen to any song we produce without hearing your voice in it.” I said as I lay down on the ground, to be honest I don’t know what to do, I’m lost and confused.

   After about 3 hours of just talking with Pany-ah I decided it was time to leave, “Hmmm, it’s getting dark, okay so it’s time for me to leave now Pany-ah, sorry for making your ears bleed listening to e rambling and talking hahah, and thank you for listening. I’ll go now okay? I’ll be back tomorrow or the day after that. I love you Pany-ah” I say as I slowly make my way to my car.

    The drive home was peaceful, I feel a bit better now after talking to Pany-ah, when I arrived home Sunkyu is sitting on the couch watching TV “Ah! Taeng a letter came in for you today; I put it in your room. I also prepared diner, I put yours in the fridge just heat it up when you feel hungry, I have to leave later since one of the staffs of the radio station decided to throw a birthday party.” She said, “Okay, thanks for the food and be careful later, don’t drink too much!” I yelled as I made my way home, I heard a loud “Ne~ Omma!” from her in return.

   Apparently the letter is from the orphanage that Pany-ah always goes to with Sica. The letter is from one of the sisters who is taking care of the children at the orphanage, apparently Pany-ah decided to donate the organs that weren’t really affected by the cancer and it seemed that one of the children at the orphanage was a recipient.

     I think Pany-ah, mentioned donating some of her organs to help other people, even when you’re not here anymore you’re still helping others I thought, so the letter stated that the child who was the recipient of Pany-ah’s eyes wanted to specifically to talk to me, it didn’t state why though. I decided to accept the offer and visit the orphanage to talk to the child, a part of me is excited to see the child since she has Pany-ah’s eyes and in whatever circumstances it’s still Pany-ah’s eyes.

    I informed the Sister who sent the letter that I’ll be at the orphanage a few days from now since I don’t really have any schedule at the moment. After reading the letter and letting the orphanage know I quickly washed off and changed into my pajamas, when I came out of my room to eat dinner I found Sunkyu’s note at the fridge ‘I’m going now! Take care! Eat dinner and be a good kid! HAHAHA –Love Sunny :P’ I laughed at her note. I reheated the dinner Sunkyu prepared and quietly ate my dinner, after washing the dishes I went to Pany-ah’s room and laid on her bed, I inhaled her sweet scent and clutched the necklace she gave me, I never once took it off since the day I got it. I slowly slipped off into dreamland after a few minutes.

    Next few days…..

     So today I’m heading out to the orphanage and visit. When I arrived Sister Anne was there to greet me “Hello, good morning I’m Sister Anne you must be Taeyeon?” she asked in English since didn’t really surprise me since it was an American operated orphanage and the letter was in English, good thing Pany-ah drilled the language in my head for the last 13 years. “Yes, I am it’s nice to meet you Sister Anne.” I replied “Should we head on inside? Jamie is in the courtyard and she’s excited to see you.” She said, I smiled and nodded my head.

    “You know Tiff told me a lot of stories about you, it seems you two are really close friends.” she said, I just nodded my head, she told me stories about the times Pany-ah would visit the kids here and spend time with them and how the children loved her like a big sister.  When we arrived at the courtyard Sister Anne pointed me at the direction a bench where Jamie was then left us alone so we could talk in private.

    I slowly made my way to where Jamie was and when she saw me she smiled, “You must be Teayeon Unnie?” she said in English “I am, HI! So Jamie what was it you wanted to talk to me about?” I say as I sat down next to her and she smiled.

    When I was close enough to see her eyes, I was shocked to see Pany-ah’s eyes, and what surprised me more is the fact that she also had the same eye-smile as Pany-ah. I was frozen for a while but managed to compose myself. “As you might have heard I have Tiff Unnie’s eye and I’m really thankful for her, for giving me the chance to see the world.” She said, I was touched at what she said.

    “After the successful operation and I was able to see I started having dreams about Tiff Unnie, we would always talk in my dream, she would tell me stories about her life and adventures with her 8 sisters. But she would always end up crying, especially when she talks about you Taeyeon Unnie, she told me how worried she is about you guys, how she misses all of you.  Tiff Unnie has a really beautiful voice, she would often sing to me in my dreams. It’s been almost 2 years and a few days ago Tiff Unnie wanted me to tell you something Taeyeon Unnie….she told me to tell you that she misses all of you, that she loves you so much. She said ‘thank you for always visiting me whenever you have the chance, for loving me, for being the best girlfriend even if our time together was short and bittersweet. Please don’t worry too much about me here Taetae, even though I’m not there and whenever you feel alone just remember that I’ll always be there for all of you to look after you, I’ll be your guardian angel.’ She also told me to te