“Are you good?” Sowon ask carefully.

“I’m okay. Don’t worry”

“But your face doesn’t look okay” Sowon say again.

“Then I guess I’m not okay”

“It’s alright. Everything gonna be alright. Hang on there Yuju” Sowon say trying to cheer Yuju up. She glad that Yuju can finally start talk and allow someone to come over to her studio. After that showcase, Yuju have been shut everyone, refuse to eat even her parents told her to. Yuju was depressed. She was sad because she’s not the final line up member. She was glad because her friends will debut, but it will be lie if Yuju didn’t disappointed. She even cried for a week, worrying Sowon who stay with her.

“You will debut soon. Don’t worry. At least you already have your platform, you just need to train for a little bit then, I’m pretty sure, you will debut as a singer!”

“Stop talking nonsense, Sowon”

“I’m not. Hey do you know that, your agency called you every single day? They want you to continue your contract with them”

“I know, I already told them that I need a little break before comeback as a trainee”

“Wow, and they allow you? You just a trainee!”

“Well, this is Yuju!”

“Okay, this is the real Yuju that I know” Sowon say and two of them laughing together before heard the bell ring from the outside.

“Who?” Sowon asked before stand up and make her way to the main door.

“Aishh! These two! Why don’t you just enter the password?!!” Sowon say annoyingly after saw her Eunha and Yerin stand infront of the door.

“Blame Yerin. She said she don’t want to disturb and whatever~~” Eunha rolled her eyes and step in the Yuju studio followed by Yerin. Since it’s a free day for the cousins, they decided to come over to Yuju studio. Wanting to see Yuju’s condition since they know that the girl is sad because of the result weeks ago. At first, Yerin refuse to follow Eunha since she know, the reason Eunha want to come over to Yuju’s place is just because of Sowon but still she end up following the petite girl because feels bored staying alone at the dorm.

“Sowon! I forgot something!!” Eunha suddenly say make Yerin stare at her.

‘Don’t you dare to start anything Eunha’ Yerin though still stare at her cousin.

“I forgot to buy an ice cream. I really want to buy it for Yuju, can you come with me?”

“I—it’s alright Eunha. I still have an ice cream in my refrigerator” Yuju say, a bit startled with Eunha sudden request.

“No, I want to buy it for you”

“You don—“

“It’s okay Yuju. I want to taste that ice cream too. Who know it’s the best. You two just wait here, we will come back soon” Sowon who have no idea what is going on pulling Eunha hand with her leaving Yerin and Yuju at the living room. Awkwardly. Two of them, just sit and play with their phone silently before Yuju who can’t stand it anymore say something.

“So, h—how college?”

“Just same. Busy with paperworks and training. That’s all” Yerin answer trying to sound not so nervous still looking at her phone. Only Yerin know how hard for her to breathe that time, her heart beat fast from usual.

“I see. It must be tired right? With tons paperwork and the other things at the same time” Yuju say again keeping her eyes to Yerin who still look at her phone.

“Yeah, a bit. But it’s alright. I used to that, I’ve been there since high school so its okay” Yerin answer make Yuju stop ask her anything. Yuju who feels a bit sad with Yerin behavior to her stand up and go to the kitchen.

‘What is this weird feeling? Yuju come to your sense!’ Yuju say in her mind while her hand bringing the water for her and Yerin to drink, for reducing the awkwardness between them. Yuju thought.

“Here, I only have a cold water” Yuju hand the cup to Yerin hoping for the girl say something to her but no. There’s no response from Yerin except a thank you word. A thank you for bringing her a cold water.

“Urmm, why you didn’t tell me that you already start your college that time?” Yuju start asking again. Hoping that Yerin will look at her and not the gadget on her hand.

“I—I didn’t? I though I already told you” Yerin answer still keeping her eyes into her phone.

“Then why you didn’t answer all of my calls? I called you like a million times you know?” Yuju say. A slight annoyed with Yerin behavior infront of her.

“I’m busy. I told you about my paperworks and trip just now right? I don’t have time to look at my phone” Yerin answer with the same annoyed tone shocking Yuju. Yerin’s heart beat still beating loud, her hand and lips start trembling. Yerin is not angry, she just feels nervous around Yuju and feel sorry to Yuju for answer her with that kind of tone. But Yerin also have her own ego, she’s not going to look at Yuju no matter what, even her eyes dying to look at the girl that she really miss the most.

“I miss you” Yuju voice suddenly crack shocking Yerin with her sobbing voice.

“I—I miss you, Yerin” Yuju say again make the wall that Yerin build fall just like that. She come closer to Yuju, wiping the tears that doesn’t want to stop falling from Yuju’s eyes.

“Shhh, please don’t cry. I’m sorry” Yerin say make Yuju hug her tightly and continue crying in Yerin’s embrance.

“I—I miss you”

“I’m sorry”

“I—miss you! Where have you been!!? Why did you leave me just like that?!”

“I’m sorry”

“I miss you, I was hoping for you to come to me, comfort me for every single day, but where are you?!” Yuju shout, still crying out loud. 

“I—I’m sorry Yuju” There’s no words that Yerin can say to the girl instead of sorry.

Yerin feel useless and worse. Yerin realise now that she’s not supposed to leave Yuju. She’s not supposed to leave the girl no matter what. She should just forget her love to Yuju instead leave Yuju. Yuju always beside her whenever Yerin faced her hard time. Yuju never leave her side even for a second. Yuju always there for her when she need someone to lean. But why she can’t do the same? Why she left Yuju behind? She didn’t even come and comfort Yuju, when the girl feel down because can’t debut. She didn’t even leave any message to Yuju, saying any courage thing to her. She didn’t even ask her other friend about Yuju condition. Overall, Yerin do nothing. Why? Because Yerin too busy trying to forget the girl, too busy trying build her wall to Yuju, trying to hate the girl and forget her love to Yuju, even she already know that she can never do that.

“I miss you. Don’t ever leave me again”

“I’m sorry” Again. Yerin apologize.

“I don’t want to listen any of your sorry, just promise me that you will be there, stay by my side” Yuju raise her head facing Yerin who also shed tears since earlier.

“I will stay. I promise you. That is what friend do right?” Yerin say softly to Yuju. Yuju who heard that frown a bit, not satisfied with Yerin answer.

“What do you mean?” Yuju ask.

“I told you I will stay. I know it’s my—“Yerin words get cut when her phone ringing, She take a look at the caller id and excuse herself away from Yuju before answering the call. 

‘That’s a guy picture. I clearly saw it just now. But who is that?’ Yuju thought after saw the caller picture from Yerin’s phone. She take a glance to Yerin who answer it a bit far from her. Yuju frown after see Yerin smile again and again while answering the call. After a few minutes staring at Yerin, Yuju look away and paid her attention to the tv that played some variety show on it. Of course Yuju cant focus, she keep waiting when will Yerin end the phone call that seems no end for her.

‘Ughh, finally!’ Yuju shout in her mind after see Yerin come towards her showing that she already finish her phone call.

“What are you are watching?” Yerin ask as she naturally take a sit beside Yuju.

“Just some variety show. Who is calling you just now?”

“Ahh~That Eunw—Eunha. She ask me if I want anything from the mall”

‘Lie. Why? Why did she need to lie for me? Who is that guy? Yerin is not someone who will lie to me. She always tell me everything. But why she lie now? Did she really upset to me, until she need to lie?’ Yuju keep talking in her mind. She want to ask Yerin about everything but, seeing Yerin seems calm make Yuju forget her thought.

‘Yerin. Why are you lying?’

…………………….

Eunha smile as she and Sowon walk together in the mall. Actually Eunha have her own agenda why she bring Sowon out at the first place. Beside from helping Yerin and Yuju to fix their problem, Eunha want to spend more time with Sowon.

“Let’s go back” Sowon say right after they buy the ice cream.

“Uhh? C—can we take a sit first? I have something to tell you” Eunha has been gathered all of her courage, she want to confess to Sowon about her feeling towards the tall girl. Two of them sit at the mall garden with the ice cream on their hand.

“What is it? What is the thing that you want to say? Do my little bunny have any problem?”

“Uhmmm, n—no it’s about us” Eunha can feel her hands start trembling. She take a deep breathe before start talking

“Us? What is it?” Sowon ask.

“Sowon, uhmm actually I—“

“Is that her? Look!!” Eunha words get cut by Sowon, who suddenly shout excitedly.

“Who? Where?” Even her words get cut, she still paid her attention to Sowon because it’s Sowon after all. Someone who can have Eunha attention.

“It’s not her. I mistook someone as her again”

“Who” Eunha still ask. Patiently.

“My girlfriend, Nayoung” Sowon answer make Eunha completely shock. Make Eunha tears fall immediately from her eyes even she don’t want to. She feels like heart being crush again and again, her body suddenly feel weak but she come to her sense after her Sowon call her name.

“I—I thought two of you only a c—childhood bestfriend”

“She is. She’s my bestfriend and also my girlfriend but I didn’t understand her sometime. She always want to hide our relationship when it’s actually her who want to get back with me. But what do I expect from my stone girlfriend”Sowon chuckle but it didn’t make Eunha stop from asking her question.

“G—get back? What do you mean?”

“I’ve started dating her when I was just ten but we lost contact when I just start my highschool. Nayoung leave me alone without any words for four years and then after few months we finished our graduation, she come to me wanting to get back with her, want to fix our relationship”

“And you accept her?” Sowon just nod from Eunha question.

“Do you love her?” Eunha ask again even she know that she will get hurt from Sowon upcoming answer.

“Yeah, I love her so much. She is my first love” The tears that Eunha try to hold fall again as she look away from Sowon, afraid that the tall girl that she love the most saw her tears. Eunha start talking again after calming herself.

“I--i guess you love her that much. She’s your first love after all”

“I’m also Nayoung first love. Just like fate, I think we need each other” Sowon answer try to sound cheerful.

‘You are my first love too Sowon’

“Hmmm, it’s alright. We can stop stalking about that, lets go buy the new ice cream, the ice cream that we just buy already melt” Sowon say something but Eunha cant hear it well. She’s too busy with her own thougt, she just follow Sowon who already stand up and ready to leave the bench that they sat earlier.

“Eunha! Are you listening to me?”

“H—huh? What did you say?”  Eunha comeback to the real world and take a look at Sowon stand beside her.

“You said you want to tell me something just now right? About us. What is it?” Sowon patiently ask as her heavily sigh.

‘The day that you pulled my hair, the day that we accidently met at the amusement park, at that time I really want to shout at you, telling you how I really hate you. The feeling about my scalp almost ripped because of you irritated me so much, how I want to get a revenge just because of that. Do you even know how precious my hair, my feet and even myself to me? But it’s all before I fell in love with you. The short time that I spent together with you, enough to make me fall into you. I don’t know how to put a sweet word, but I want to tell you that the person that I’ve been waited for this whole time is you. The person who steal this tiny heart of mine is you. I love you, Sowon’

That’s what Eunha want to say, but she can’t. How come she ruin Sowon happiness, if she’s not the one who Sowon love. In the end, Eunha didn’t say anything only tears fall slowly from her eyes confusing Sowon.

“Eunha? Are you alright? Whats with the tears?” Sowon ask but Eunha only shook her head as she wipe her tears away and give a small smile to the tall girl beside her. Sowon just blinked her eyes few times and shrugged her shoulder after saw Eunha weird behavior. They walk together ready to go back home in awkward silent before Sowon stop her step again as her eyes keep staring at somewhere.

“Sowon?” Eunha hold Sowon hand look at her but Sowon didn’t give any response to Eunha instead looking at somewhere.

“Is that really her? It’s her!” Sowon say before run to somewhere leaving Eunha who try run to catch her.

“Nayoung!”

“S—Sojung? W—what are you doing here?” That’s indeed Im Nayoung. Everyone face look completely shock when saw each other except Eunha who still trying to catch her breathe.

“I’m the one who supposed ask you, what are you doing here? Isn’t you supposed to be at Hong Kong? You told me last night you at Hong Kong, holiday with your family” Sowon ask still trying to control her anger. She don’t want assuming things even when she saw Nayoung holding the other that’s stand beside her girlfriend.

“I—I it’s—just—I mean I—“

“Who is this?!” Sowon cut Nayoung words as she can’t handle it anymore.

“Uhmmm, Sojung, she’s umm—“

“Just be honest to her” The girl who stand silently whisper to Nayoung, but still Sowon can heard them.

“What is it?!! Be honest what?! Nayoung tell me!!! Who are you??!! Why are you going out with my girlfriend?!!” Sowon shout like a mad girl, can’t even control herself anymore shocking Eunha and Nayoung who witnesses that. Both of them seems quite shock because of Sowon, for Nayoung who have known Sowon for ten years and more never in her lifetime seeing Sowon being mad like that. Not even once. Same goes to Eunha. Sowon that they know is someone who always smile and didn’t get mad easily. But now, infront of them, that is not Sowon nor Sojung.

“Sojung, please don’t be like this. Let’t go inside the car first, please” Nayoung answered softly almost like begging as she feels like they are being watch weirdly by other people who passed by.

“No!! Explain to me now!!”

“I will, but let’s go inside first. Please” In the end, Sowon sit inside the car. Patiently waiting for Nayoung explain everything to her. Eunha is waiting outside the car, refuse to leave even Sowon tell her to, something is indeed off so she decide to stay, waiting for Sowon like she always do.

“Just tell me honestly, explain to me everything!!”

“I—I’m sorry Sojung”

“I don’t want to listen to your sorry!! Explain to me!!” Sowon still shouting.

“Fine, I don’t want to lie to you anymore, it also hurts me lying to you for this whole time. A—actually, the girl just now, she—she’s my girlfriend. Jieqoeng. I—I’m sorry” Tears that Sowon have been tried to hold since earlier fall slowly from her eyes. Nayoung words hurt her.

“H—how dare you do this to me? Nayoung-ah, I’ve been good to you for all this time, I sincerely respect your decision to hide our relationship, I never mad at you, I never upset your feeling. Did I? Have I ever make you upset?! Have I ever hurt you?! Why are you doing this to me?” This time Sowon stop shouting. Right after she heard Nayoung words, her body felt weak, suddenly lost all her energy to shout.

“I’m sorry”

“I told you, I don’t want hear your sorry”

“You are too good for me Sojung. You are too perfect until I think I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve you Sojung, I love you Sojung. I do love you, from the first time we met until now, and until forever but I have to admit that, the love that I feel for this whole time is actually love as a friend. I was fool because I mistook it as a different love, I hurt you with the love that I also still confuse about. I always hurt you, I hurt you with my own words, I hurt you with my own behavior and sometimes I even hurt you physically, but you still smile to me, you never walk away from me even how bad I hurt you, emotionly, physically. You are too perfect, you are too good and I don’t deserve you”

“I don’t care about that. I love you Nayoung. I don’t care even if you punch me on the face, I don’t care how bad you hurt me emotionally, physically. I can be your punching bag for the rest of my life because it’s you, the person I love with my whole heart. I don’t care as long it’s—“

“But I care Sojung-ah! I can’t bear hurting you! It’s also hurt me inside!”

“Nayoung listen to me. It’s alright for me. I’m used to that, look I’ve been felt it for ten years, so it doesn’t hurt anymore. It’s alright. Please don’t cry. You don’t deserve this tears” Sowon wipe Nayoung tears slowly. She don’t want to see Nayoung, the person she love the most cry. It hurt her the most, it hurt more than anything.

“Sojung please. Please don’t be like this” Hearing Sowon words make Nayoung burst into tears more. Make Sowon pull her into hug. Nayoung cry hard, thinking about how Sowon become that soft to her, Sowon is too good, too perfect and having thought like that in her head, she decide to push Sowon hard, really hard until Sowon backhead knocked on the window car, shocking Sowon and also Eunha who have been standing not far from the car.

“Leave now! I don’t need you!” Nayoung say sternly as she wipe her tears.

“Nayoung—“

“Let’s break up Sojung, you don’t mean anything to me. I love Jieqiong so much, and please don’t come into my life anymore, I’m happy with her and always be, she is my girlfriend and we will get engaged in just a few months, so please just leave me Sojung. You want me to be happy right?! You said that I don’t need any tears right? So leave me, because if you leave it will make me really happy and no tears will fall from my eyes anymore” Nayoung say and right after that, she step out from the car make her way to Eunha who still waiting for them and snatch Eunha’s phone from her hand.

“Hey! What do you think are you doing?!” Eunha shout but get no response from Nayoung who busy dialing something from her phone before give her phone back and walk away just like that, leaving Eunha shook once again.

‘Wahh, I can’t even count how many times I get shocked today’ Eunha say in her mind as her eyes keep looking into Nayoung who already open the car door,  shouting to Sowon to get out.

“Sowon are you alright?” Eunha come closer to Sowon who look completely shocked right after Nayoung drive away from them.

“Eunha, can you go back first? I need some time alone, here for a cab fee” Sowon say and hand Eunha her purse, make Eunha mad.

“No! I will not go back without you”

“Eunha please”

“No, I will not let you go anywhere alone! Not after what I saw just now!!”

“Eunha—“

“I said no Sowon! I will drive and you have no right to refuse!” Eunha say and snatch the key car from Sowon before stomp her way to their car.

“How dare she want to shut me out after what I just saw? Hell no!” Eunha say annoyingly as she slammed the door and keep staring at Sowon who still walk slowly before sit inside the car.

“Where you want to go?” Eunha ask softly.

“Just somewhere far” Sowon answer lifelessly as she hung her head down with some tears still on her face. Eunha sigh and reach for Sowon seatbelt put it on for her. Sowon tears start falling again after realize what Eunha done for her, remembering Nayoung once again. Nayoung always the one who put the seatbelt for her, someone who doesn’t like to wear it.

“Please don’t cry” Eunha say as and wipe Sowon tears before start driving.

“It hurts. It hurts so much”

‘It hurts me too, Sowon. Please don’t cry, I will never let you cry again. I promise’

done update :) 

 thank you for still here, really appreciate it :) ^_^

what should i do about Sowon? haihhh, she's mt bias but i keep hurting her :(