Few weeks after the show, things calmed down. Kids called me by my real name again. Teachers actually smiled at me. Everything was good. I even won the prize money, and hid it behind the steps of the basement for later.

     But something just still wasn't right. I still had that emptiness inside of me that prolonged and gotten only worse. Being in that school gave me anxiety attacks. Sitting in class, but the one empty seat next to me belongs to...him. Sitting outside during lunch, but the bench was...ours. Everything reminded me of him. Especially the toy house. I cry every time I see it. I just rather be home.

     My teachers seen how stressed I was, and worried about my grades. Each month, they dropped a grade lower, until it was a D.

"Olivia..can I talk with you for a sec" asks Ms. Sunn, while everyone was leaving class

"Yes?" I slowly tipped to her desk, assuming what she wanted to talk to me about.

" I'm assuming you know what I called you up about"

"Yeah..."
 

She pauses for a moment; and stares at me with deep concern.

"How are you feeling?"

     "I feel..." tears weld up, and I couldn't finish. They began falling down my face, onto her desk, as I drop my head down from shame.
 

     "I feel...sad. And alone!" I cried out, putting my head down onto the desk. Tears began forming in Ms. Sunn's eyes as she spoke.

"Olivia...I hate seeing you like this. No child should have to go through this..." she pauses again, finding the right words to say. "Olivia, maybe its time you...switched schools." 
 

I was surprised she said that.

"switch schools?"

     "yes. I've talked with your father about your grades this morning, and how you've been acting lately since you know..the incident. And I think its best that you get a good fresh start somewhere else."

A fresh start..
 

"Oh..."

     "Trust me, you will love it! I already found a nice school, that's even closer to home. Your father agreed already so actually, I'm just informing you on what your father and I discussed. Its for the best Livi, sorry." she smiled at me, but with deep sincerity. Ms. Sunn always meant well to me. And maybe she's right. I might have to switch in order to get my mind right. I believed her. I guess I have no choice but to do it.

"Okay, Ms. Sunn..thank you for the help."
 

     I hug her and leave class, going outside waiting on the steps for my dad to pick me up. 10 minutes later he zooms by and gets me. During dinner (for once he's letting me eat an actual meal) he talks to me about what Ms. Sunn said earlier. But he has other plans in mind.
 

     " How about I just take yur outta school altogether and you can teach yurself how to read and count since you wanna kill people's chilren!"
 

Sober phase is over
 

     Usually the things my daddy says I don't care about because he is drunk. But this time, I absorbed it all. I felt like he was right. I did kill him. Maybe I shouldn't be in school. Nobody likes me anyway. Not even the teachers. I start crying again.
 

"Whatchu cryin for? Its all your fault anyway! Finish your food or its going to Buck!"
 

I quickly stopped and scarfed the food down so he can't take it from me.
 

I wish my dad can just be quiet sometimes






 

******************************************




 

     After winter break my dad enrolled me into a new kindergarten. Little Lexingtons school. The school is okay, just about the same as the first school. Maybe a bit more lonely though. None of the kids talk to me there either, and the teachers are okay but they seem weird. They all have a quote that they say in the beginning and end of class to the students. Its creepy.
 

      Everyday I come home, do my homework and just lay in bed. Nothing new. And I can't even see mommy because she is back in the hospital. I hope she come back soon. I hate when daddy and mommy argue. But this time they didn't and she just had to go back to the hospital. That worried me even more.
 

     This time tonight, I decided to pull out the phone from behind the basement steps to play some games. I just didn't want to think of anything at all right now. I go to the game store on the phone to find new games to download. One game looks very fun and colorful pictures called Kid Pen Pals. I don't know what its about but I download it anyway. It might be fun.
 

     I open it and the first screen ask me many questions like if I am a boy or girl, my age and where I'm from. I put it all in and tap to sign in. This game is boring! What kind of game is this? I exit the game and start playing something else, but then my phone ringed. Its the Pen Pal thing. I open it and see whats going on. There was a message.


 

-New Message- 

From Sender: Hello! My name is Kyungwoo! Where are you from?

ㅇㅅㅇ


 

Huh? Who is this? And how they get my number? I don't know if I should message back...but maybe I should...
 

To Sender: America. Hi my name is Olivia.
 

This is weird..How did he get my num- 
 

-New Message-

From Sender: Oh cool! I'm from South Korea! Nice to meet you ^^


 

South Korea?...Oliver...is from South Korea..
 

To Sender: That is very cool. :)


 

-New Message-

From Sender: Haha thanks! Im 6 years old. How old are you?


 

To Sender: Im 5. I will be 6 next year. 


 

-New Message-

From Sender: OH IM OLDER ! ㅋㅋㅋ 😛

From Sender: What's your favorite color?


 

To Sender: Green 😊😊


 

You know what would be funny? If his favorite color was




 

-New Message-

From Sender: Wow really? Me too!! You're so cool!!




 

I can get used to this