A/N: Hey, everyone! I know that I should be updating “Ease My Mind”, but this idea for a one-shot suddenly came up and I just had to write about it. I originally wanted to post it by Valentine’s Day last month, but things didn’t go as planned. As you can see, I’ve split it into two parts. Don’t know when part two will be ready. But since I teased it on Twitter a while back, I didn’t want to leave you guys waiting too long.

So, some background of where we are in the SMTL universe. This chapter takes place in February 2018, so about present day. It’s been two years since the defeat against Virgo and roughly two years into SinRin’s relationship. Since the epilogue, I’ve been juggling with the idea of whether or not Yerin, Eunha, and Umji should stay vampires. Ultimately, as you will read, their fate has been decided.

Please enjoy!

Thursday, February 1

Hands stuffed into the pockets of her puffy coat and neck bundled underneath the thick wool of her scarf, SinB scurried down the sidewalk. The gray sky vastly shifted into night. Her heart was a jumbled mess of anticipation and anxiety. After all, it had been a month since the event that caused her entire world to spin off its axis. An entire month of emptiness and despair. An entire month and counting without her.

A block and a half away stationed the house that appeared ordinary on the outside, but SinB knew and had experienced the internal mysticism of this special manor. Very few people did. All these neighbors and anyone who passed by may have never gave the house a second glance. But inside the seemingly normal residence, lived a trio of vampires. Not the dangerous, blood- vampires with lusty eyes and sparkly skin. No. These vampires continued to live the rest of their undead lives with a mission to make the planet a better place. There was the young, lovable vampire who possessed unbelievable strength. There was the swanky and studious vampire whose cold personality melted every so often. And last but certainly not the least, was the strong, caring, and selfless vampire whose unbeating heart was as radiant as her eye smile.

SinB’s chest began to ache. Sniffing back tears, she looked up at the house that encased the headquarters for the Sisters of the Night. Exhaling a long stream of breath into the frosty air, SinB straightened her posture and marched to the front porch. She knocked on the door three times before Elder Kim Taeyeon opened it. The ageless vampire’s eyes roamed up and down the length of SinB’s body, scanning her, before allowing the mortal entrance.

“Annyeonghaseyo, Taeyeon-nim,” SinB formally greeted with a ninety-degree bow.

“Annyeonghaseyo, SinB-ssi,” Taeyeon curtly replied, closing the door behind her.

“How’s Yerin? Is she still in the medical bay?” SinB asked timidly, taking a quick glance of the living room to check if any other elders were nearby. From the empty room, it seemed as if either no one else was present or they were busy in a different area of the house.

“We moved her into her bedroom last night,” Elder Taeyeon informed. “My x-ray vision didn’t find any changes that could indicate the improvement of Yerin’s health. But, she’s stable. Comatose, but stable.”

SinB pressed her lips together, forcing a smile before expressing her gratitude. “Kamsahamnida, Taeyeon-nim, for allowing me to see her. I know how risky it could be, but I greatly appreciate it.”

Taeyeon simply nodded, eyes darting to the floor. Taking it as her cue to retreat, SinB began to steadily walk up the staircase, restraining herself from running out of impulse to get to Yerin’s room.

“SinB-ssi,” Taeyeon beckoned, causing the girl to stop halfway and turn around at attention. Taeyeon looked up and stared squarely into SinB’s eyes with a certain benevolence. “Talk to Yerin. Tell her about your day. Recount precious memories the two of you have shared. Make up silly stories. Whatever it may be, just let her know you’re there. Even on a person’s deathbed, their ability to hear is the last sense that remains before nature takes its course. I’m sure it will help with her recovery process tremendously.”

Squeezing the polished, wooden frame of the railway, SinB croaked out a “yes” in response. Solemnly, she climbed up the remaining stairs. Once there, SinB entered the corridor that led to Yerin’s private quarters. With heedful footsteps, she traipsed to the door and rested her hand over the handle. Taking in a breath to calm her nerves, SinB turned the handle and pushed the door with utmost caution.

SinB stood by the threshold, gathering some courage. The room was lit only by the dim desk lap by the older girl’s study. Still, Yerin’s sleeping form appeared to glow in the hazy darkness. Slowly entering inside, SinB tiptoed to the foot of the bed. As soon as she saw the older girl’s face, SinB had to control herself from dropping down on her knees and sob until her eyes could no longer produce tears. It may have been a month to any other person. But, for SinB, it was the most unbearable month she has experienced thus far. Recomposing herself, she carried the chair from Yerin’s desk and brought it to the side of the older girl’s bed. As SinB removed her scarf and coat, a sense of Deja vu washed over her.

Once she settled in, SinB took a moment to let her heartrate relax a bit as she gazed at her girlfriend. But the more she gazed, the more her heart wouldn’t calm down. Yerin wore a light yellow, silky pajama top. Her long, dark brown hair framed beautifully around her face. Cheeks remained cutely plumped, nose was still adorable, and lips were tempting as ever. Yet, there was something about Yerin that alarmed SinB. Her girlfriend’s skin, usually ivory as a Greek statue, was now ghastly pale, almost translucent.

A shiver ran down SinB’s spine. Partly because she knew how much Yerin needed to refuel on blood. But, mainly because the last time she saw skin so malnourished was when Virgo’s minions broke into her apartment and tried to abduct her almost two years ago. SinB knew she would probably be six feet under the ground right now if it wasn’t for Yerin’s rescue efforts. A ghost of a smile tugged on the corners of her lips as she recalled that surreal night. How cool Yerin looked with her top bun and moto jacket. How SinB, despite her best efforts, couldn’t help but fall for the older girl all over again. And, though the idea of “destined lovers” was much too cringy for SinB’s taste, every time she looked at Yerin, a part of her softened up to the prospect of kismet.

Rubbing away the unfallen tears from her eyes, SinB stared directly at Yerin’s face, deep in slumber, and frowned. The older girl appeared so fragile, like she could turn into dust and disappear at any moment. SinB’s stomach churned and chest clenched at the thought of it. Carefully, she placed her hands on the edge of the bed, just a few centimeters away from Yerin’s arm that was covered by a thick blanket, and tried to remain strong.

“Hi, Yerin-ah,” she spoke softly. “It’s me. SinB. I’m sorry for not visiting you sooner. I really, desperately, wanted to. But, Taeyeon-nim and the rest of the Elders had forbidden Sowon, Yuju, and me from entering the manor for the sake of our safety and yours. They probably wanted to make sure if there were anymore ‘disciples’ of Virgo left out there.”

SinB paused and shook her head as she realized that she was getting too far ahead of herself. “Mianhae. You’re probably confused of what happened in the past several weeks. Let me start from the beginning.”

Readjusting in her seat, SinB leaned over and gently smoothed a stray hair away from Yerin’s eyelid. Noticing how icy cold her girlfriend’s skin was, SinB quickly drew her hand back. Trying to feign nonchalance, she cleared before resuming.

“Elder Hwang Tiffany-nim was the one who informed me of what might have happened. Since she has the power to see into the past, it’s a safe bet to take her word for it. Last New Year’s Eve, after months of cryptic messages and death threats against the Sisters of the Night, the lunatic vampires who called themselves ‘The Disciples of Virgo’ trespassed and broke into the manor. There were about thirty of them, all ready to avenge the death of their slimebag leader. You, Eunha, and Umji were present and, apparently, were getting ready to go to the New Year’s gathering at Sowon’s parents’ house.” SinB huffed as she shook her head in irritation. “Toxic vampire cults ruin the party again.”

“Anyway, although the three of you were gravely outnumbered, you sprang into action, whipping out a wooden stake and giving those vamps the beating they deserved. Eunha and Umji soon joined in. Chaos ensued. Furniture was thrown all over the place. Knives, guns, and stakes were used in a futile effort to kill you. It was like a war battle being taken place during a tornado. Thankfully, the house had been sanctified with a spell that made outsiders completely oblivious to the inner activities of the headquarters.

“Though there were a couple of weaklings, Virgo’s disciples had put up quite the fight against the three of you. Umji tried to summon her other power of projecting dreams into reality, but she was losing stamina and needed blood. Eunha got shot in the shoulder by an arrow. Fortunately, she was able to retract it. With fifteen minutes left before the new year officially arrived, you ran to some secret room and retrieved… what was it called again?” SinB continuously snapped her fingers, searching through her memory. “The… the Dimentos Orb? I think that’s what Tiffany-nim called it. From what I remember, the Sisters confiscated it from a 15th century wizard. It had the power to capture and trap people and send them into a different dimension. But, I’m sure you already knew that.

“Gathering as many vamps in the same room as you could, the three of you continued to fight. Once you knew that all of Virgo’s disciples were within a boundary, you used the orb, throwing it up in the air and letting its mystical energy spread through the place. All the while, you produced a forcefield big enough to protect you, Eunha, and Umji from being transported as well. One of the disciples, though, was able to use their special ability before the orb swept them away. The damn vamp could materialize lightning bolts in their bare hands. They threw one towards you, and it somehow managed to pierce through your forcefield. The orb, losing its power as soon as it dropped to the ground, imprisoned Virgo’s team of wannabes. Unfortunately, Umji, Eunha, and you were affected by the lightning bolt. The clock struck twelve.

“After trying to call you repeatedly and Sowon having the same problem with contacting Eunha, I knew something was terribly wrong. Sowon and I left the party and rode a cab to the manor. Before we could even cross the fence, Taeyeon-nim and Elder Sandara Park appeared out of nowhere and advised us to leave. Of course, we tried to figure out was going on, but to no avail.

“The next day, the first day of 2018, we went back again, and Elder Tiffany told us everything. Since Yuju was busy with preparing for the next GFriend comeback, we tried to be delicate with the subject when retelling it. But, in the end, she became very ill from worrying about Umji. In fact, all our spirits really took a nosedive into depression. Heck, I’ll be lying to you if I said that I hadn’t cried myself to sleep each night these past four weeks.”

SinB paused, wiping a stray tear that escaped her eye. Scooting closer to the point where she was sitting on the edge of the chair, SinB continued.

“There is a silver lining, though. After a week and half since the event, Umji woke up from her coma, but she no longer had her powers. Because... she was no longer a vampire. She’s mortal, now. Eunha woke up two days afterwards with a beating heart and a dislike for the taste of blood. Taeyeon-nim suspects that the electricity from the lightning bolt combined with the Dimentos Orb’s energy can somehow reverse vampirism. Of course, we’re still waiting if that hypothesis holds true for your case. According to Tiffany-nim, you received the most impact from the collision.” SinB bit her cheek, not wanting to think about the heart shattering details. “But, as for Eunha and Umji, the both have been adjusting to the lifestyle of a human these past couple of weeks. It’s been easier for Umji since she hasn’t been a vampire for as long as you and Eunha. Recently, the Elders were able to find a nice, loving couple who are willing to adopt Umji and support her through school. In Eunha’s case, the Elders gifted her with an apartment complex of her own and a job as a teacher’s assistant for the biology department in Sowon’s university.

“Things are looking up.” SinB’s voice cracked as a rush of emotions swept through her entire being. She met her breaking point. Eyes never leaving Yerin’s face, SinB began to weep, letting warm tears drip off her face and fall onto the bed. “Gosh, I was really hoping not to cry.”

Several weeks ago, SinB was overwhelmed with joy when she found out that Umji woke up from her coma. And, she was nothing but relieved when Eunha had come back into consciousness just a few days later. Hope was restored, and SinB waited patiently for the day when one of the Elders informed her that Yerin had awoken as well. But, the day never came, and SinB couldn’t help but feel so selfish. Though the condition of Yerin’s health remained uncertain, SinB was just thankful to now finally be able to reunite with the older girl in real life rather than through dreams.

SinB blotted her tears with her sleeve as she resumed. “Before I went into your room, I was speaking with Taeyeon-nim. Things are still pretty awkward between us. And, after meeting Jessica-nim in real life, I can see the resemblance. But, Taeyeon-nim was very persistent about me talking to you while you’re in your coma. She said that even on a person’s deathbed, their sense of hearing is still active. I remember when I was under Virgo’s trance. How I could hear your voice. It was a bit faint, but I could still hear you. The way you cried. The way you told me how much you love me. Because of that, I was able to break free from the trance. And that’s what I’m going to do for you now, Yerin-ah. I don’t care if it takes ten days or ten years, I’m going to visit you each day and be the strength you need. Just like how you were my strength. Still are my strength.”

With a sniff, SinB searched for Yerin’s hand underneath the blanket and laced it with her own. Cold to the touch, SinB continued to hold on to her girlfriend’s hand, hoping and praying that the warmth of her palm would somehow affect the vampire’s body temperature. Exhaling a shaky breath, SinB leaned closer as hot tears blurred her vision once again.

“I love you, Yerin-ah.”

Friday, February 2

SinB arrived around the same time the next day. After another awkward exchange of pleasantries with Elder Taeyeon, she went upstairs, anxious to see Yerin. When she opened the door, a gorgeous bouquet of yellow roses displayed on the bedside table caught her attention.

“Annyeong, Yerin-ah,” SinB greeted, carrying the chair from the study and placing it right next to the older girl’s bed. “Who brought you the flowers?”

Plucking out the miniature sympathy card nestled in the middle of the arrangement, SinB opened it and read the message to herself.

To our dearest Jung Yerin-ah,

Please wake up soon. Life hasn’t been complete without you. Though the restoration of our mortality is a blessing, we will forever cherish the times we spent as a team. Yerin-ah, you are the greatest leader we could ever hope for. But, most importantly, you will always remain our loving sister and our precious friend.

With much love,

Eunha and Umji

A small smile lifted the corners of SinB’s lips. Returning the card back into the bouquet, she took a seat and stared longingly at her girlfriend who remained peacefully in slumber. But, even that didn’t distract SinB from the fact that Yerin’s sickly complexion hadn’t gotten any better. From the blue veins prominently visible on the older girl’s neck, SinB’s heart sunk at the prospect that the condition has worsened. Nonetheless, she took a breath and tried to appear cheerful.

“Looks like Eunha and Umji paid a visit to you earlier today. Must’ve been comforting to hear them again, right? As nice as your reunion with them might’ve been, I kind wish that I had been thoughtful enough to bring you flowers first.” SinB exhaled a light-humored chuckle before reaching for Yerin’s hand from under the duvet. The cold skin jolted SinB’s senses. Still, she continued to entwine her fingers between the spaces of the strong, yet delicate hand.

“Mianhae for being such a bad girlfriend. But, I promise to make it up to you. When you wake up, I’ll treat you to samgyeopsal whenever you want. Which will probably be everyday now that I think of it. I’m gonna have to convince you to enroll in some ‘samgyeopsal anonymous’ meeting.” An amused smile quirked on .

Her attention naturally drifted back to the flowers and the thought of how much pain Eunha and Umji were going through during this difficult time. Integrating back into the human world may have provided a distraction for them, but SinB could discern the uneasiness going through Eunha’s thoughts whenever they would meet up for lunch with Sowon. And then there was Umji, who always tried to convince SinB that she was fine, blaming newfound allergies to be the cause of her misty eyes.

Sadness even transcended to the pond in the woods where Mr. Quack Quack’s offspring felt dejected when it was SinB who showed up to feed them for the umpteenth time instead of Yerin. Friends, colleagues, and even nature seemed to miss the light that Yerin would bring unto the world.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I read the card that Eunha and Umji wrote for you. Sometimes, I forget that I’m not the only one who’s trying to cope. We all miss you, Yerin-ah. Life just feels so… empty. And gray. And dull. On most days, I don’t even want to get out of bed and go to school or work. I just feel so drained, like all my energy has been out of me. But then, I think of how you might be feeling and how it’s probably ten times worse.

“When I do manage to force myself to get out of bed, I start to imagine how my day would go if you were there. Well, to start off, we would probably be because we would’ve spent the entire night before fooling around in the sheets. Let’s not be around the bush.” Flustered, SinB ran a hand through her hair as the room suddenly became too warm. She sheepishly cleared . “We would get dressed and you would make me banana pancakes as I got my things ready to teach the morning dance class. After chatting over a cup of coffee for me and a mug of Type AB for you, we would walk together to Destiny Dance Studio. You would kiss my cheek and say, ‘Superstar SinB-ah, Fighting!’ before leaving to take care of some business at the manor. In the afternoon, we would go to Glass Bead Cafe and spend the rest of the day focusing on school work. I would ask you to proofread my term paper, and you would say something like, ‘SinB-ah, you misused a past participle,’ and I would be confused for the next five seconds until you explain what the heck a past participle is.”

With a dispirited laugh, SinB looked down momentarily, biting on her bottom lip to keep herself from crying.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is… you’re a part of me, Yerin-ah. Without you, I feel like a piece of my heart is missing.”

She looked back up and held Yerin’s frigid hand even tighter.

“And I’m doing the best I can not to feel broken.”

Saturday, February 3

SinB visited the manor at around 10:30 at night. Stumbling inside to get away from the cold, Winter atmosphere, SinB greeted Elder Taeyeon whose eyes widened in surprise at the young mortal’s appearance. Unlike like her previous casual apparel, SinB was currently dolled up in a burgundy velvet dress that stopped mid-thigh. The ends of her brunette hair bounced into marvelous curls like a 1950s Hollywood movie star. A sophisticated diamond necklace tied the outfit altogether.

Before Taeyeon could question the reason for such dazzling attire, SinB had already took off her high heels, clutching them as she ran upstairs.

Once inside Yerin’s room, SinB closed the door and set up her usual seating arrangement. Laying her shoes on the ground, SinB sat down and, without a second thought, took Yerin’s hand in hers.

“Mianhae, Yerin-ah, for coming by here so late,” SinB apologized rapidly. “I totally forgot that my Eomeoni had planned to have dinner with me earlier this night. You wouldn’t believe how shocked I was when she showed up to my apartment around 7:00 pm, and I was still in my pajamas with my un-showered hair tied in a messy bun. Gosh, she looked as if she would have heart attack.

“You know how she is now, ever since her jewelry business boomed into the big leagues. Dignified. Refined. A hankering for the best things in life. So, it came natural for her to help me get ready, even letting me wear this gorgeous dress she designed for her upcoming clothing line. She did my makeup and styled my hair. It was as if eighteen years of neglect just flushed down the toilet, and she suddenly became the mom I’ve always yearned for.” SinB shook her head as she traced the lines on Yerin’s palm. “Don’t get me wrong. I still have these deep-rooted trust issues when it comes to her and my Abeolji. But, at least, my Eomeoni is trying to make the effort to get closer to me. The last time I saw my Abeolji was when I bumped into him at university a couple of months ago. I wanted to ask Eomeoni about it, but I didn’t want to spoil the mood.”

With a shrug, SinB glanced at Yerin and noticed that the older girl’s pastel, burgundy pajama top matched perfectly with her dress. SinB smiled as she began to squish the tips of her girlfriend’s fingers.

“After my mini makeover, she took me to this really high-end restaurant. It was so fancy that everyone would stick their pinky out as they sipped on ridiculously expensive champagne. I, being the simple, fried chicken and beer kind of gal, felt completely out of place. Even in this beautiful dress and wearing the finest jewelry, I knew it wasn’t the kind of lifestyle for me. But still, it was nice to just spend some time and try to bond with my Eomeoni again. I haven’t seen her since last year before she went on a business trip to Milan. She did send me a couple of postcards for Christmas and New Year’s, though.

“During dinner, she asked me how you were doing. I told her you were working on your Grad school dissertation. She seemed quite impressed by that. But even if I was lying, I could tell how much she adores you.”

SinB introduced her mother to Yerin about a month after they started reconnecting. The situation occurred more by accident than by SinB’s own intention, though. One Saturday morning, SinB’s mom had dropped by her apartment with the hope of treating her daughter to brunch. But, when it was Yerin who opened the door, SinB knew she had some explaining to do. She exchanged a look with Yerin whose eyes communicated that she was okay if SinB wasn’t ready to reveal their relationship. Although she was caught off guard, SinB didn’t hesitate to tell her mom that Yerin was her girlfriend.

In response, SinB’s mother quietly stared at Yerin. Her lips slowly progressed into a smile as she complimented on Yerin’s ageless complexion. SinB exhaled a breath of relief as Yerin charmed her mother. As luck would have it, the two got along splendidly. But, relief turned into mortification when her mother began to show SinB’s baby pictures.

“I know that you’re fine with telling my Eomeoni that you’re a vampire. It might make things easier instead of having to lie all the time. But trust me, I doubt she’ll be as nonchalant about it like Sowon’s parents. But, who knows?”

SinB turned around to see the treasured, framed high school diploma on Yerin’s wall. It was old and tarnished, but it remained one of the few remnants of Yerin’s past that she held onto dearly. No one could doubt that Yerin was intelligent in many aspects. There have been plenty of times when the older girl confessed her aspirations of pursuing a higher education to SinB. And though SinB wanted to breeze through her general classes so she could focus on her major, she couldn’t help but notice the endearing gleam in Yerin’s eyes whenever they passed by the university. SinB hoped that the older girl’s potential wouldn’t be wasted away for long. Staring at her girlfriend with admiration, SinB smiled proudly.

“Maybe those lies will actually come true one day.”

Sunday, February 4

After finishing the last problem of her statistics homework, SinB decided to reward herself by going to the manor early that afternoon. But first, she stopped by the flower shop. Since Eunha and Umji had already bought a charming bouquet of yellow roses, SinB thought it would be best to get something with a little more pizazz. As soon as SinB laid her eyes on a stunning arrangement of vibrant red carnations, she knew it would be the perfect gift to brighten up the older girl’s room.

“You must really love this person,” the cashier commented as she placed the flowers in a small, narrow vase.

Caught off guard, SinB chuckled while shyly rubbing the back of her neck. “Are you a psychic?” she joked.

The cashier smiled gracefully, shaking her head. “They say the deeper the color, the stronger one’s affection.”

During the walk to the manor, SinB found those words on a constant loop in her thoughts. Affection. Admiration. Love. Never has SinB been so emotionally invested towards a person. And, never before did she feel capable of loving someone with such passion as she does for Yerin. The future may be bleak, but whenever SinB looked down at the hypnotizing carnations she held in her hands, a strand of hope rekindled inside of her.  

When SinB arrived at the headquarters, Taeyeon was present, yet again, to let her inside. The youthful vampire acknowledged the flowers and found herself smiling at the sight of them. Noticing the rare look of happiness beaming on the Elder’s face, SinB removed a single carnation from the vase and held it out for Taeyeon.

“For you, Taeyeon-nim,” SinB shyly presented. “Kamsahamnida for taking care of Yerin these past several weeks. Even though I can’t be there for her 24/7, it’s a relief to know that she’s in good hands.”

Taeyeon accepted the flower. “Gomowa, SinB-ssi,” she thanked genuinely. “But, I believe it’s your company that Yerin eagerly anticipates every day.”

Slightly flustered, SinB timidly bowed at Taeyeon before exiting the foyer and marching upstairs.

Opening the door that led to Yerin’s room, SinB walked up to the older girl’s bed and settled the flowers right next to Eunha and Umji’s bouquet on the nightstand. She stared at Yerin whose sleeping position had remained the same with each passing day. It seemed like the only thing out of the older girl’s appearance that would change was her pajamas. Today, it was a pastel, teal blue, making her look ever so serene.

“Annyeong, Yerin-ah,” SinB spoke, abstaining from bringing the chair over and, instead, sat at the foot of the bed. “Guess what I accomplished today? I actually finished all my homework without waiting until the last minute for once.” A humorous grin bloomed on her features. “And with that, I decided to treat you with some flowers. I originally planned on getting you red roses, but I thought that would be too cliché. Remarkably, I stumbled upon these red carnations. Apparently, they symbolize deep love and affection. I know, right? Aren’t I just the romantic?” she stated coolly before cringing at her own overconfidence.

“I gave one to Taeyeon-nim, and in return she told me that you look forward to me visiting you. I won’t be offended if you’re actually getting tired of me. Heck, I would get tired of myself. Maybe I should change things up a bit. Make it more interesting for you.”

SinB stood up and took a gander at Yerin’s bookcase. “How about I read you a literary favorite of yours?”

Perusing the rows of books, SinB trailed her fingertips along the tops of each book, searching for the one with most worn-out spine. It didn’t take her long. Sliding the leather-bound book from the shelf, SinB looked at the front of it and noticed the frilly artwork of scattered carnations on the cover. Curious, SinB opened it and was surprised to see that it was not an ordinary book, but in fact, a journal. Inspecting the penmanship, there was no doubt that the writing was Yerin’s. Feeling as if she was invading her girlfriend’s privacy, SinB was about to put the journal back into the bookcase when one of the pages accidentally slipped out. SinB picked it up and noticed that it was a poem transcribed from English to Hangul from a poet she had learned from high school.

“Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe,” SinB whispered.

With a thundering heart, SinB took her place by the edge of Yerin’s bed, cleared , and began to read the poem aloud.

It was many and many a year ago,

  In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

  By the name of Annabel Lee;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

  Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,

  In this kingdom by the sea,

But we loved with a love that was more than love—

  I and my Annabel Lee—

With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven

  Coveted her and me.

Eyes consumed with unfallen tears, SinB stopped mid-way. She rubbed her eyes with her sleeve and looked directly at Yerin. Moving closer to the older girl, SinB placed her hand on top of Yerin’s blanketed hand before taking in a deep breath and resuming with the poem.

Reaching the last stanza, SinB’s voice grew shaky and eyes clouded once more. Her mind was in a whirlwind of emotions, but she didn’t want to pause again. She clenched her teeth and held back the tears she so desperately wanted to cry out.

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams

  Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes

  Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

  Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,

  In her sepulchre there by the sea—

  In her tomb by the sounding sea.

SinB squeezed Yerin’s hand. As tears ran down her moisten cheeks, SinB thought she felt—no, she was certain she felt—the slightest jolt of life spring from Yerin’s pinky finger.

Monday, February 5

SinB power walked into Yerin’s room that Monday night with a refreshed sense of optimism. Though she hadn’t told Taeyeon or anyone else, SinB was positive that she felt some kind of synapse twitched forth from the older girl’s finger. Small and sudden as it may had been, it was a promising indicator in the progression of Yerin’s health. And that just made SinB want to be with Yerin even more.

She grabbed the usual desk chair, placed it beside the bed, and shrugged off her backpack and jacket. Situated, SinB reached underneath the covers, sheltering Yerin’s hand with her own.

“Hey, Yerinnie. How’s dreamland? I hope you’re surrounded by only warm and pleasant thoughts. Umji wishes she still had her dream-conjuring powers. She wants to protect you from any potential nightmares. Even Eunha-unnie wishes her mind reading abilities were no longer defunct. How useful it would be to know if your mind’s really alert. Regardless of all the ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’, I know you can still hear my voice. Maybe also feel my touch.” Eyes doting solely on Yerin and the baby blue pajama top she wore, SinB began to the back of the older girl’s hand with her thumb. “I just hope you know that you’re never alone. I’m always thinking of you.

“Perhaps, too much. In school today, we were learning about the history of modern and contemporary dance. The professor asked me to give my thoughts on the dance philosophy of Isadora Duncan. The problem was that I didn’t pay one millisecond of attention to what she lectured because my mind was replaying all those times when we went to the park and goofed around on the monkey bars. How it always ended with an intense game of tag. And although you tried to deny it, I know that you would let me win. Who am I kidding? Your vampire abilities are no match to my superb tag playing skills.” SinB smirked, knowing that Yerin would have kiddingly scoff in response.

“School might have been crummy today. But on the bright side, GFriend released the music video to their comeback song this afternoon. ‘Love Whisper.’ It’s kind of reminiscent of their older stuff, but ‘Fingertip’ promotions will forever have a special place in my heart. As usual, the choreo is absolutely spectacular. I mean, they danced in a pond. How epically skillful is that?! Oh, and I cannot forget to mention those cute, little CinRin moments peppered throughout the MV. I fangirled so much during the scene where Erin is shown sleeping on CinD’s shoulder as they ride the bus. And, of course, Yuju is being her multi-talented self once again. She looked so majestic dancing in the pond surrounded by green meadows under the blue sky.

“To be honest, I wasn’t that impressed with the song upon first listen. But, after several listens, it has definitely grown on me. Here, I’ll play it for you. I’m sure it’s more suited to your style.”

Tugging her phone out of her pants pocket, SinB brought up the song and pressed play. The tune’s intro, fresh as the first day of spring, projected through the room. Once the 1990s-inspired percussion kicked in, the dark and sullen atmosphere suddenly felt lighter. When the chorus arrived, SinB couldn’t help but to sing along, albeit softly like a lullaby.

I can hear it from anywhere

If I open my ears

When I open my ears

To the trust you have in me

Like your eyes that twinkle

I’ll tell you a precious story

Open your ears

Our unforgettable voices and stories

Are filled with my heart for you

That fluttered like a dream

SinB looked down, concealing the embarrassment on her face. “Sorry if my singing isn’t that great. I honestly don’t know what compelled me to sing at all. I guess I just know how much you enjoy these bubbly choruses. Remember when all six of us used to go to the norebang every weekend? Yuju and Eunha would hog the microphone. And, even though I wasn’t too confident, you would encourage me to sing. The first song I sang in front of you was 15&’s ‘Star.’ I can picture that moment vividly. How you would stare at me, with that luminous eye smile, like I was the only person in the room. The only person in the world. Right afterwards, you ran up to me, wrapping me in your arms and showering me with kisses and compliments. I felt love in your words and gestures. And I kept thinking to myself, ‘Is this real? Do I really deserve someone as sincere and loving as you?’ Even now, I’m not sure if I can truly answer that question. What I am certain is that I would do just about anything to see you smile like that again.”

Tuesday, February 6

SinB barged into Yerin’s room that Tuesday night with a smile of excitement radiating on her face. Omitting from grabbing her usual chair, she instead took a seat on the empty side of the bed. With a quick acknowledgement of Yerin’s creamy, orange-colored pajama top, SinB removed her backpack and settled it on her lap.

“Annyeong, Yerin-ah. Miss me? Of course, you did,” she said in a playful manner. “Sowon and Eunha treated me to dinner today at that ramen restaurant a couple of blocks from my apartment. Inside, there was one of those claw machine games, and it reminded me of you. As we waited for the food to arrive, I tried my luck at playing. You know how much I think those games are a waste of time and money. But, when I laid my eyes on a certain plush, I couldn’t leave the restaurant without winning it for you.”

ping her backpack, SinB fished out and revealed a plump, white plush toy dressed in a duck outfit.

“₩20,000 later and I am now the proud owner of this little cutie. Judging from the tag, its name is ‘Jibang’. Doesn’t it kind of look like us? It has your adorable, glossy eyes and my curt smile. I figured that since you let me keep Quack Quack Jr. at my apartment so I wouldn’t feel lonely when you were off on a mission, I would return the favor. I want to give you Jibang so that you won’t be alone during the hours when I can’t visit. It only seems fair.”

SinB carefully tucked the plush toy underneath the blanket right by the crook of Yerin’s arm. She patted Jibang on its soft, pillowy head before lightly trailing her fingertips along the collar of the older girl’s shirt. Even through the layer of clothing, the coldness of Yerin’s body remained unchanged. SinB slowly retracted her hand, trying to hide the unsettled feeling that shook her core. Instead, she brought her feet up on the bed, laid her back against the headboard, and stared at Yerin. Just when she thought her girlfriend couldn’t get even more precious, Jibang added to the cuteness factor tenfold. The corners of SinB’s mouth lifted into a wide smile.

“The resemblance between you and Jibang is eerily uncanny, Yerin-ah,” SinB said with a chuckle. “Makes me wonder how our kids will look like.”

Eyes wide at the gratuitous words that just came naturally out of , SinB shyly drew her legs to her chest, cheeks burning wildly with blush.

“I mean… theoretically speaking, of course. If it were scientifically possible, I’m sure we make beautiful children.” Amidst nervous laughter, SinB felt as if she was digging her own grave. “We’ve kind of touched on how we both wanted kids, remember? In our trip to Slovenia last year? We were aimlessly walking around this tourist attraction when we saw an adorable little boy running around. Once he and his family left, you told me how much my eyes lit up in joy when I saw him. And that’s when I revealed my wish of having a family of my own someday. I want to give a child the love that my parents never gave me growing up. From the amount of joy that also lit up in your eyes, Yerin-ah, when you saw that baby boy, I just knew that you would be the perfect person to raise a family with.”

Wednesday, February 7

“Yerin-ah, you would never guess what I dreamt of last night.”

Waltzing into the older girl’s bedroom, SinB kicked off her shoes and shrugged off her backpack before hopping into the empty bed space that was reserved for her. Jibang remained snugged in the curve of Yerin’s arm. The older girl’s outfit, though, had been changed once again. This time, it was a yellow and white striped flannel top. SinB smiled in amusement over the matching pair.

“Now, usually I don’t dream of anything too weird. But, for some strange reason, I had a dream that I was a werewolf. Not only that, but I was a werewolf in high school.” She cringed. “My entire body is now covered with goosebumps.” SinB began to rub up and down her arms in exaggeration. “I know that I sound like I’m overreacting, but I would rather turn into a werewolf every full moon than relive my high school years.

“The dream itself wasn’t too bad. I was hanging out with Yuju, eating ddeokbokki, when suddenly my arms began to itch like crazy. I rolled up my sleeve and saw that it was covered with fur. Leaving Yuju and abandoning my ddeokbokki, I ran for the woods in the park. The sun quickly set, and a full moon appeared overhead. Once I got into the trenches of the woods, I tore my clothes off as I began to foam at the mouth like a dog with rabies. Body jolting as if I were being possessed, I haggardly got on the ground and somehow transformed into a werewolf. And when I woke up in my dream the next morning, back as my human self, the first thing I remembered was that I had a term paper, a science project, and a powerpoint presentation due on that day of school. Think what you will, but that is a hundred times more horrific than turning into a werewolf.

“If you couldn’t tell, high school wasn’t the best time for me. I’m sure there’s plenty people out there who has it worse, but it’s a point in my life that I would like to lock up in the past and throw away the key. It was a stressful, conflicting time. I think I’ve told you this before, but along with Yuju, I was also scouted by JGM Entertainment. I tried to sneak out to audition, but my Abeolji saw the business card, ripped it into pieces, and forbid me to go. I was so angry that I went through bit of a rebellious phase. Broke a lot of hearts and played a lot of mind games with people who genuinely liked me, but I had zero interest in. Of course, that’s when I also started to go behind my parents’ back and enrolled at Destiny Dance Studio. Gosh, I was such a brat back then with the way I treated people. Thankfully, I now have you to keep me grounded.

“I can only imagine what it would be like if we attended high school together at the same time. What kind of student would you be? I bet you’d be the dorky kind, cracking up jokes in the classroom. Or maybe, straight-laced and studious, spending every waking hour studying in the library. The slacker type? Barely getting by and sleeping on the school rooftop during breaks?”

Smiling to herself, SinB shook her head as she leaned over to adjust Jibang. Her eyes, then, trailed to Yerin’s peaceful face. Slowly, SinB began to lay down on her side, never losing focus on the comatose beauty in front of her. Head cushioned on a pillow, SinB curled herself inward as she laid a hand on Yerin’s arm.

“No, what am I saying? If we went to high school together, you’ll be Jung Yerin. The strong, selfless idiot who I would fall for in a heartbeat.”

Thursday, February 8

Hair up in a ponytail and workout bag over her shoulder, SinB had just finished her shift at Destiny Dance Studio. It had been a tiring day as more young hopefuls enrolled specifically in SinB’s class. Whether it was because she was known to be friends with GFriend’s Yuju or that she had been a member of Yoon Bora’s dance troupe that won the championship at the International World of Dance last year, SinB was just grateful to have the opportunity to do what she loved for a living.

Leaving her bag by the door, SinB checked on the carnations that remained fresh and radiantly exquisite before grabbing the desk chair and positioning it right beside Yerin. She dove her hand underneath the bedsheets and entwined her hand with Yerin’s. The older girl’s skin was still significantly cold, but SinB didn’t let that bother her too much.

“Annyeong, Yerin-ah, you look absolutely precious today. Well, let’s face it, you look precious every day.”

She leaned over and brushed the older girl’s bangs to the side, further accentuating her attractive features.

“Guess what happened to me today at the studio? Kim BoA-nim wants to take me to this dance workshop to better hone my abilities as an independent choreographer. It’ll be an amazing opportunity, especially since I want to follow in hers and Yoon Bora’s footsteps.”

“The problem is,” SinB began, shoulders deflating, “it’s about a three-day retreat… in New York. It’s not until the middle of March, so I have time to make my final decision. I know that you’re supportive in my ventures and that you would want me, urge me to go, but… I just don’t want to leave you.”

SinB had been ecstatic when BoA told her of the offer. The talented owner could have chosen any other instructor to join her in this opportunity, and yet she had picked SinB as her first choice. Though she would have accepted it in an instant, SinB’s conscience reminded her of what she had said to Yerin a week ago.

“I made a promise that I would visit you each day. Even though there’s a chance that you might wake up by that time, it just doesn’t feel right for me to accept an offer so freely. Especially one that requires me to go someplace halfway around the world. But, the thing is that I know you’ll do fine without me, that you’ll continue to fight. Taeyeon-nim will be there to take care of you and Eunha, Umji, and Sowon will be there to visit and give you company. I guess… I guess my problem is that I’m not sure if I could last more than day of being without you.”

With a sniff, SinB quickly wiped her tears away before laying her hand back on Yerin’s. “Gosh, I sound so dramatic. I swore to myself I wouldn’t become one of those clingy girlfriends. But, I can’t help it. I’ve fallen so madly in love with you, Yerin-ah, that it hurts me to see you like this. Because, you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be no longer in pain. And you deserve to live the best life you can.”