Living with my parents wasn't that bad, it was weird. They had a huge house, my apartment was as big as the bedroom I was staying in. Every time I needed something all I had to do was ring a bell, some people would think I was living the life. Maids, food and anything I wanted, but it was in bad taste. Maids popped in every few hours to make sure I didn't fall or die in my sleep.

Today was different, I wanted to make Key a lunch for tomorrows event. He had an outdoor shoot with the rest of the guys for their new album, and since I couldn't be much help other ways I could do this. A maid watched me as I walked from the bed to the door, making sure to catch me if I were to fall. I pushed the door open and began down the stairs, one step at a time. We arrived in the kitchen and I smiled when they had the things I wanted to cook already set out for me, I pulled a stool over sitting in front of the counter.

I took a deep breath before his voice called from the front door.

"Ducky~" Key called before being lead to the kitchen. A large smile peered across his face, he came over to me and pulled me into a back hug, and kissed my cheek.

"What are you going to make?" He asked sitting across from me.

"Well was thinking your lunch." I looked down at the vegetables I was going to cut up.

"Don't push yourself." he had a concerned look on is face.

I had trouble cutting the vegetables, either too much pressure for not enough. My tomatoes were crushed and my broccoli still attached to the trunk. I let out a frustrated breath, then I was a pair of hands come from my sides and guide my hands properly. Key put his head on my shoulder while we cut up enough vegetables for his lunch, I went to wash the rice. I was having difficulties with that as well, Key moved to put his hand in the water but pulled it back and pulling my hands out of the water.

"It's hot. Be careful, we don't need to ruin your pretty hands." His smile genuine, he finished his own lunch while I watched.

I plunked my head down in my hands and watched Key make lunch with ease, the rice was perfect, the beef perfect, he wad perfect. I let out a sigh , it caught his attention. He leaned across the counter and kissed my eye gently, he knew little things that could make me smile.

--

When we finished eating, I was gonna tell him. That he didn't need to stay with me, that he could be with someone else. I must have had a look on my face because his eye brows furrowed. I stood up to meet him as he came from the kitchen, still not used to dead legs I tripped into his arms again.

"We keep meeting like this." He joked.

"I can't help falling for you." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"What's bothering you?"

"I know I sound crazy, I'm just worried. You can leave me, you can find another girl to make you happy."

"Your right.." I was shocked at first. "You are crazy."

I let out a deep breath, Key grabbed my face. "I like you, I like spending what time I do have with you."

"I'm crazy." I agreed with him and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into my arms.

I had my doubts about my relationship with Key, I mean if my partner suddenly couldn't feel anything I would be doubtful. I could be standing in lava right now and wouldn't feel a thing, if this damage is permanent would I be able to keep him by my side? Would we live a normal life together?

The night ended with Key leaving with his lunch, and me sitting up in my bed. I had since given up on drawing, I couldn't feel the pencil or how hard I had been pressing. I was a free loader to my parents, I couldn't even make things better if I wanted. I laid in bed staring out the window next to me, you couldn't see a single star in the sky, all the buildings and lights washed away the night sky.

I understood how my mother must have felt when I was a child, not being able to do half the things she likes and not being able to feel her own child's love. Being dependent on Dad, raising a child who is a handful and not being able to provide for said child. It was all a deep depression pit, once you were in it you couldn't get out.

I shivered as the thought of my mothers suicide lingered in my brain, I quickly grabbed my phone and plugged my head phones in as I closed my eyes. 1000 - Shinee