Hey everyone! A little disclaimer before you read. This chapter is very hectic. I wrote it with the intention of it being this way because of the way I want the story to progress.

***

            The halls of the So Mansion were empty. Not a maid, butler, nor any other working servant in the home lay awake. Yi Jeong himself slept soundly in his own bedroom waiting for the night to end and the day to return.

“Yi Jeong!”
“Yi Jeong!”

            The screams that disturbed the sleep of many were heard first before frantic footsteps came. It was the sound of insanity that would wake Yi Jeong up that morning and with it that familiar feeling of emptiness filled his air and dread and rage clouded his senses. He knew she was coming closer with her footsteps but he refused to listen. Not again. Not another time. Not when he knew what would have happened each and every single time he became a pawn in their game.

            She would send him off to find him and in return he would hurt him with his words and his narcissism as he spoke ill of her, of his brother, of him. There was such a void in both his parent’s eyes that Yi Jeong was afraid he would one day become them. The loud bang on his door caused him to sit up from his bed. The door shook with ferocity one would think it was about to break. How his mother managed to have such strength Yi Jeong could only amount it to desperation.

“Please. You have to help me!”
“He’s out with her again.” She cried from outside the door and all Yi Jeong could do was swallow her words, his pain, and this situation without truly letting it go.

            Countless of times he had been in this scene. He realized and knew, that the more she begged, pleaded and cried. The easier he gave in. Why? Because even if this was his life and his parents were screwed up he loved his mother. It was watching her and watching his father seeing one sided love. The cruelty of the situation that sickened him of such a thing. Love?
Love was anything but that. It was destruction. It was a feeling that faked security to both or one of the parties involved until someone decided their feelings were fleeting. It was then that everything you hoped and dreamed for, that future with that other person, those smiles, that happiness; they meant nothing but destruction.

            Love was something that hurt and ate you up until you became a slave to that other person. A person who did not care about you in the end. Love was something that dragged you down and caused not only loneliness but insanity.

“Please Yi Jeong!”
“Please!” He continued to hear. His body shook and a lump in his throat formed.

Yi Jeong was no idiot. There was always this situation but the desperation in her voice led Yi Jeong to know that his mother was close again. How long before they committed her this time? How long before she’s taken pills again? Would she slice her wrists? Would she die?

The last thought in his head sends him into a frenzy while she continues to cry and beg and pound on his door and it’s too much. He wants to shout; he wants to tell her to go away. That he’s through with this. She begins to tell him about what she knows about his father’s whereabouts but Yi Jeong can’t take it. Like a child he covers his ears and he feels that they’re going to drag him into their insanity.
“Shut up!”
“Shut up!” He wants to yell as she countinues with more pleads.

Whether the house has awakened or not Yi Jeong knows he has no help. The servants they silently hear; never once do they help when these moments occur. His father, is to careless and far too obsessed with himself to care about the situations he leaves for everyone else to take care of. As for his brother. His brother has left a long time ago and given the duties of sacrifice to Yi Jeong.

“I hate you!”
“You’re the worst of my children!”
“I’ve sacrificed and given so much for you but you have done nothing for me!”

            She continues to cry and beg outside of his door until she grows tired. Yi Jeong knows there’s no way out and she’ll wait for him if she has to. It seems that’s all his mother has ever been good for. Waiting.  Yi Jeong checks his clock to realize it’s almost 7 am. Three hours have passed since she stood outside his door. The quiet tells him what he knows from experience. His mother has cried herself to sleep outside of his door. As quietly and as calmly as he can he opens his bedroom door and there his mother lies. There’s a bottle of whiskey in her hand that is only one third filled and he ponders whether or not he should finish it himself. A war rages in his head as he picks his mother up in his arms. There’s a need to cry, to yell, to destroy. He wants to hate this person, much like he hates his father. He wants to hate her nature for choosing the person in this world that would never love her and neglecting the children she claims were proof of that love that once existed between them. He wants to hate everything that this person represents but as Yi Jeong carries his mother back into her room and lays her down. He cleans her room of any pills, alcohol, and gives orders to the maids to keep an eye on her. Before he leaves her company he always gazes down at her, for just a second; he sees the old her there somehow. That woman who cared for him and Il Hyun once. Then that thought comes again.

            She was never loving, she was never caring, she has only ever cared and love his father. No one else has ever mattered and Yi Jeong wonders how it is that his brother could so coldly leave. He thinks about how easily it is for everyone to abandon him. His father, his mother, Il Hyun. Sometimes he wants to hate Il Hyun for leaving him alone. It’s times like these that he falls again.

            Yi Jeong doesn’t know how he gets there. All he knows that as he gets ready for his day there’s those constant thoughts. His mind is clouded with rage, with hate, self loathe, loneliness, he just needs to get rid of it all. Before long he comes to a stop in front of her house. His brother’s car is parked outside and Yi Jeong wants to show his brother that he hates him. He wants Il Hyun to know just how much of a lie his world is. He wants Il Hyun to hurt the same way he hurts. He wants Il Hyun to feel abandoned, uncared for, unloved. Why should he be the only one without an olive branch of hope while everyone else clings to a fantasy.

            He’s shaking and tears are threatening to escape his eyes. He thinks of his friends and he hates them to sometimes. They all live in a fantasy world. Surrounding themselves with nothing but lies and love which Yi Jeong can never attain. There is no ounce of happiness or a glimmer of hope which he can cling to. If only there was something he could have, someone he could rely on. His life however, is too much of a mess for anyone to handle. The moment he lets someone in, will be the second he loses them.

            The front door of Eun Jae’s house opens. She’s wearing a silk blue nightgown. When she spots him she smiles at him waving. She signals for him to wait, that she’ll get rid of Il Hyun first. The thoughts of revealing to his brother what type of women that person is comes to mind again. There’s something in his head screaming at him to do so. He wants Il Hyun to know. He wants Il Hyun to suffer. As much as he hates his brother at times all it takes is the thought of losing him forever that makes Yi Jeong turn away. This time his rage is too much, his pain has been building, becoming unbearable. Soon he knows, pottery, , alcohol, friends, nothing will be able to temporarily numb that feeling. He can see Eun Jae coming over to the car a smile on her face. From inside Eun Jae’s home the curtain opens and his brother is standing there smiling at him.

“Do it now.” His mind screams the closer Eun Jae comes. He smiles at her charmingly, knowing that she is unaware of Il Hyun watching and he watches her smile back seductively.

            He’s going to kiss her. He’s going to do this simple and leave to make Il Hyun pay for everything. Even if his brother hates him. Yi Jeong will permanently live with this cold he’s always carried because there is no one that will ever understand. He’s so close to ending things once and for all when his phone rings.  He takes it out to turn it off when he glances at the name.

“Chu Ga Eul”

            His mind somehow snaps back to reality and Yi Jeong picks up the phone.

“Hello.”
“Sunbae. Are you picking me up for school today? If not I can go to school on my own I don’t want to be late.”
            It takes Yi Jeong a full minute to register the words that Ga Eul has spoken through the phone and then it’s almost like he can breathe again.

“I’m coming.” Yi Jeong says before driving off hurriedly leaving Eun Jae on the side of the street watching him leave.

***

            The morning felt calm and yet, there was a sense of unease inside Ga Eul’s heart. Almost like she’d forgotten something. She’d woken to that feeling before her alarm rang and simply got ready for her day. While Ga Eul did so she tried to recall if she had forgotten anything important. She’d done all her homework and she was sure there was no test to study for. She even arranged her room up to see if maybe she lost something that she should need in the future. It was a silly notion but yet; Ga Eul felt like something was off.

            Standing in front of her bed she stared back at the large pink bear that lay there. When she had gotten home that night her father was already asleep but it was her mother that had greeted her.

“It was nice of Jae Ha to win you that bear.”
“It wasn’t Jae Ha.” She had answered before going to her room.

            There was something about the bear that made her want to smile. Maybe it was the fact that it was pink, cuddly, or cute. But now that she looked at it there was a fuzzy feeling that she was beginning to feel.

“Ga Eul honey,”
Her father was the one to come in and Ga Eul offered him a soft smile. Her father smiling back at her but upon seeing the bear on her bed frowned.

“Has Jae Ha given this to you?” He asked her with a soft serene voice.

            Ga Eul knew how passive her parents were, they weren’t precisely people that never got angry, she recalled being scolded but if anything they never raised their voices to her. Were they strict, yes. Ga Eul was expected to do her best as far as school and she should try to be respectful and kind to others. Those were the values that he parents instilled on her and she tried her best to follow this. It was watching her parents, the love in their eyes that they still had for one another that made Ga Eul believe in soulmates.

            Of course it helped that she was such a hopeless romantic. But then again, her mother and father though not affectionate to one another in public, her mother did speak to her privately about all the flowers and poetry her father use to send her when they were dating.

“It was a gift. From another friend.” Ga Eul said to him.

“Is this the same friend that has been driving you to school?” Her father questioned causing Ga Eul to blush. She was well aware that he father was gone every morning before Yi Jeong even went to pick her up and Ga Eul realized that her mother had more than likely been spying on her every single day since the week began.

“Your mother mentioned it.” Her father confirmed to her and Ga Eul bit her lip silently wondering what to answer her father.

“I assume this boy is from your school Ga Eul?” Her father asked and Ga Eul could only nod dumbly.

“What are his intentions with you?”
            There was a long pause between them and Ga Eul remained unsure of what to answer her father. She and Yi Jeong were definitely not dating. While she wanted to assume that they were starting to become friends she also realized it was a bit too soon for that. But she settled to give that answer sure she and Yi Jeong could become great friends.

“He’s a friend.”
“So he is a boy.”
“Father.”
“Ga Eul” Her father spoke back to her calmly

“I’m aware that you are growing up but you have to be aware of boys. Men are all the same and you have to be careful of which one you chose some are.”
            For a moment Ga Eul feared she’d faint from embarrassment when she realized her father was indirectly trying to give her “The talk” something that she wasn’t prepared for.

“Yi Jeong is just my friend.” Ga Eul explained to him.

“Yi Jeong then.”
“If he is just a friend. Would you mind if we met him.”
“Dad.” Ga Eul spoke before her father chuckled.

“We’ve only become friends just recently. We’re starting to get to know each other.” Ga Eul answered honestly.

“Yi Jeong Sunbae is. Very reserved and it’s hard for him to open up.” Ga Eul explained.

“I think he’s hurt. And lonely.” Ga Eul spoke. There was a look in her father’s eyes then that she couldn’t quite comprehend and then a wry smile.

“So this is how I will lose my daughter.” He spoke to her quietly.

“Just make sure you are given what you receive.” Her father spoke to her. Though Ga Eul had no idea what her father was telling her or why he thought he was going to lose her instead Ga Eul brushed off his words and smiled at him.

“You’re never going to lose me.” She told him hugging him. Her father smiled at her with affection and hugged her back for a moment letting the quiet linger comfortably.

“When you are both ready then.” Her father spoke before leaving Ga Eul’s room.

            Sighing Ga Eul laid back in her bed throwing herself on the mattress comfortably. Looking up at the pink heart that was on her ceiling Ga Eul tried to grab it closing one eye and pretending to hold it in her hand.

“One day.” She thinks to herself. Wondering just how long she’ll have to wait to find that one person she’s meant to be with. When her mother finally calls her for breakfast Ga Eul can see that she’s avoiding eye contact. Her mother was never one to ever tell any of her secrets to her father but Ga Eul knew that her mother was only being concerned for her. Instead she lets this go and offers her mom a smile which her mother returns.

            Together Ga Eul and her parents have breakfast. Her father is reading the newspaper again and her mother is quietly telling him about last nights’ news on Shinwa. They have apparently bought another large company. Ga Eul doesn’t really like the talk her parents have it’s so formal in front of her and she wonders why it is her parents are a bit shy to show affection around her. But she is fine with that. Her parents love is private and beautiful, just for themselves and Ga Eul can’t help but want that. She’s a shy person herself but as embarrassing as it was to admit to herself she wouldn’t mind having her hand held in public or being kissed just once.

“Are you alright dear?” Her mother asks and Ga Eul realizes even thinking about such a situation is making her blush but she laughs softly to herself and nods at her mother before continuing to eat. Her thoughts wonder instead to her day and that feeling of forgetting something has not left, Ga Eul begins to feel at ease.

“Whatever it is. I’ll know it when I see it.” She tells herself.

“Ga Eul. Are you taking your Moped today?” Her mother questions and Ga Eul looks back at her in confusion.

“You’re on your way to school by now. You’re not being picked up today?”

            Frowning Ga Eul looks at the clock and realizes Yi Jeong is usually there at 7:30. Fifteen minutes late and not much time to head to school.

“I should call him.” She thinks and that feeling of forgetting continues to push its way through her stomach again. She wonders if maybe Yi Jeong had told her the previous night that he would not pick her up this morning but recalls him telling her otherwise. The phone rings for sometime and Ga Eul heads to her room. Quietly she gathers her things for school and waits for Yi Jeong to pick up.

 “Hello.”

Though it is only one single word. Ga Eul feels that forgetful feeling again and her stomach tightens so hard she feels like she can’t breathe. There’s something wrong with Yi Jeong’s voice. It’s strained and pained. She can almost hear the panic and desperation in his voice. It takes Ga Eul a second to collect herself before she responds back to him.
“Sunbae. Are you picking me up for school today? If not, I can go to school on my own I don’t want to be late.” Ga Eul tells him and she hopes her voice sounds normal enough for Yi Jeong not to pick up anything strange she worries for a second when he doesn’t answer but finally he speaks.

“I’m coming.”

It’s only two words that are spoken before the line goes dead but they bring a panic in Ga Eul’s chest.

            There was no such feeling of forgetfulness that she had been feeling all morning. It was worry. A worry that was telling her something had been wrong. Yi Jeong was in trouble. That fuzzy feeling when she saw the bear was letting her know it was Yi Jeong. Ga Eul headed out of her room then. School bag in hand and tried to ignore her parents who were hovering around the door. She was unsure of why he father had not gone to work at his usual early hour but at the moment Ga Eul felt more than a little disturbed. Her instinct told her that something had happened. She had never heard Yi Jeong speak in such a way that sounded so vulnerable. Even when he had said to her that he was lonely his tone had been quiet if not a little afraid. Right now however, it was like Yi Jeong had been hurt. A loud screech was heard and Ga Eul winced when she realized it was Yi Jeong that had parked himself in front of her house quite chaotically and loudly. She knew her parents were more than likely watching but when Yi Jeong got out of the car to open the door for her she felt air leave her lungs.

            Yi Jeong was fake smiling again. Any other time she would have been upset, except this time his eyes weren’t angry. Where they wild? Yes. But not the way a raging horse was. No this reminded Ga Eul of a wounded animal that had been shot or an animal whose leg had been run over by a car and was desperately trying to get to the other side. There was such desperation, grief, and darkness surrounding this man it made Ga Eul want to cry at his expression. They both stood there he waiting at his car door for her and she standing on her porch.

“Ga Eul-yang.” He spoke, her name strained as it left his lips almost like he was calling out to her to save him. To reach him before something, or someone else struck the final blow and Ga Eul ran.

            There was nothing to overthink, nothing that told her she was overstepping. She felt so helpless, and so out of her comfort zone but she needed to try to make it better.

“Sunbae.” Ga Eul spoke softly after embracing Yi Jeong.

He didn’t speak, his whole body went rigid and there was such cold in his entire body that Ga Eul couldn’t move herself but pushed herself to do so after a few moments.

“It’s okay.” She whispered to him.
“I’ll let you borrow my warmth today.” She though to herself.

***

            So many thoughts ran through his head at once. There was such a numbness that he wanted so desperately to erase. As soon as he had left his rage with Eun Jae and Il Hyun, a creeping desperation followed. Then nothing. He couldn’t think, couldn’t feel and that though something that he thought he wanted, scared him. This wasn’t a feeling he had from after or drinking. He numbed for seconds but he realized the pain remained always even if it had decreased to the degree of nothing but a pinch. This time he really felt nothing and it was like his mind was screaming for him to wake up but nothing seemed to work.

            Yi Jeong doesn’t recall how he arrived to Ga Eul’s house but there was something screaming inside his head as if he would miss something important. When he had gotten out of his car there was a look in Ga Eul’s eyes that he couldn’t understand. The pressure in his chest continued to increase while his mind slowly began to come to once more and then; she ran to him.

            Her hug caught him off guard. But it was her words that made him relax unconsciously.

“It’s okay.”
Those words held such innocence, such kind nature. It was instinctual for him to relax and at the same time his mind had briefly taken a pause. Yi Jeong found himself wanting to hug her back but the minute that he began to wrap his arms around her; Ga Eul’s front door opened and a man who Yi Jeong realized was Ga Eul’s father stood at the porch.

“Ga Eul-yang”

            Yi Jeong allowed his hands to stay at his sides and he motioned to Ga Eul’s porch. Moving away from him, Yi Jeong watched the girl turn and blush though the man standing there continued to look at him. Politely he bowed and Ga Eul turned to look at him taking hold of his arm.

“We should go.” She spoke. Nodding Yi Jeong opened the door for Ga Eul and then walked to the driver’s side. He could still see the man staring at them and simply bowed his head once more.

            There was too much to think about at the moment, and so much he wanted to forget. Yi Jeong began to blindly drive to school only to stop when they reached the traffic light.

“Sunbae. I won’t ask why your like this. Or if your alright because I..”
Yi Jeong turned to look at Ga Eul surprised to see that she was crying and Yi Jeong could only stare unable to help her.

“You can tell me if you want. But I would never push you to say anything to me. I just. I want you to be okay Sunbae.”
Ga Eul spoke to him wiping her tears away like a small child.

            It was confusing to Yi Jeong. Meeting someone like Ga Eul who had previously been angry for him. And now it seemed she was crying for him. She didn’t know what was happening. Nor could she ever understand the war that raged inside of his head on a day to day basis. In fact, he was sure that the moment he let Ga Eul know she would leave. Why did that suddenly scare him?

“I don’t want to go to school today Sunbae.” Ga Eul spoke to him.

“Can you take me somewhere Sunbae. Just for a while?” Ga Eul asked.

            Yi Jeong knew. From what he understood of who Ga Eul was. His country bumpkin was caring and he knew this wasn’t for her it was for him.  

“Where to?” He asked her. This time he didn’t bother to force a smile when there was no need. Ga Eul somehow could see past all his bull and just for today he would allow himself to clear his mind by numbing it with the light of innocence.

“Any place. Your favorite place. A place that you like.”

“Alright.” Yi Jeong answered her after a few moments of silence.

            They drove for a long time, out of the city and through an empty road. The quiet between them tranquil. Allowing him to breathe. Ga Eul’s soft breathing telling him that he should breathe himself until he was relaxed enough to do so on his own accord. They came to a stop at large pasture grounds of grass. It was filled with blue irises. A flower that was swung softly by the wind.

            The gasp that was heard from Ga Eul was not surprising. Yi Jeong only found himself smiling.

“I found this place when I was seven.” Yi Jeong spoke. Remembering a time where pottery wasn’t something he was completely good at. He’d found this field while wondering away from the city planning to run away. Bitterly he wondered how much better his life would have been if he had been the one to abandon them all. He hadn’t realized he was shaking in anger until Ga Eul came to stand next to him and entangled her arm with his.

“They listen don’t they?” Ga Eul questioned and Yi Jeong found himself confused at her words.

“The irises.” She explained.

“You can whisper to them like the wind does and they can feel with you and keep your secrets.” Ga Eul explained.

“In the summer, they giggle along with the wind, moving with your happiness. In the spring, they cry with you, the sorrows in you heart. In the winter, they hardly move and if they do it is only to send warmth your way for the cold that enters the world giving you the warmth that lacks for the season. And in autumn they die and they wilt away, keeping your secrets until the day they die.”
            There was a sad smile on her lips. In that moment Yi Jeong felt like he could cry but still Ga Eul wasn’t an iris. And as beautiful as her notion had been even if he did whisper to this empty field, that would never take away his pain.

“Irises are my favorite.” She whispers to him.

“Come on Sunbae.” Ga Eul tells him. Taking him by his arm she pulls him along to the middle of the field and together they lie down. He wants to tell her how expensive the suit he is wearing is and how ruined it will be but she just smiles at him innocently and Yi Jeong doesn’t want to tell her anything.

            They lie there for a while. Ga Eul humming softly. Somehow it feels like he can rest. His mind goes completely silent and then there is nothing.

***

            He reminds Ga Eul now of a child. He’s sleeping quite peacefully and the exhaustion in his posture have all but left, and were replaced now by a relaxed expression. For just a second Yi Jeong begins to frown and Ga Eul reaches to touch his forehead. Gently running her finger through his frown until slowly it leaves. Her mind wasn’t on school. Or the trouble she’ll probably be in for skipping class. No, her mind is just thinking about making him feel better.

            She had been sitting quietly allowing Yi Jeong to sleep and had walked to the car simply to grab a book. She always carried her favorite soulmate book story with her. Parker and Lyric were her favorite to read. There were so many things she’d hated about the lead male in the beginning but as the story progressed she learned to understand him. Her favorite part was always the soulmate tree scene. She felt like she could fly with them, like a weight was lifted away from her the way Lyric felt when she was with Parker in that moment. Closing her eyes, she imagined herself in that scene. Holding on to someone and feeling free. The wind hitting her hair, making her feel at peace.

            There was a soft groan heard that interrupted her day dream and letting a soft gasp out Ga Eul was startled when Yi Jeong had allowed his head to rest on her lap like a pillow. He did not seem to be aware of where he was or who he was with but seconds later he had fallen back asleep. Ga Eul’s heart raced with uncertainty as to what she should do. She didn’t want to wake Yi Jeong up. She wanted him to rest and clear his head if only for a moment. If she moved him or woke him she was unsure of what would happen. Reaching to pet his head quietly deciding to let Yi Jeong stay there her hands began to run through his hair softly and he seemed to unconsciously move toward her touch once more.

            Ga Eul wondered what would be of her fate with this man. Looking at him she realized Yi Jeong had trouble which he seemed to not allow anyone to know. From what she had gathered about his friends Ga Eul knew they were kind. And yet, something held So Yi Jeong back from letting anyone in. Ga Eul thought about the rumors she had heard, she thought of her first impression she had of Yi Jeong, how awful that date had been. His confession to her about loneliness. It was like there were two very different So Yi Jeong’s. A cold hearted one, who loved to please everyone and at the same time hurt women. The way he had looked at Sunny that day made shivers run up Ga Eul’s spine. Unconsciously she stopped running her fingers through his hair and Yi Jeong began to shift once more. Shaking her head Ga Eul continued what she was doing. Had he been awake Ga Eul would have been mortified by her own actions, but for now she would continue.

            She began to think of how they had met at the beginning of the week. There was no doubt in her mind that Yi Jeong was a kind man. The way he had been angry at her spoke to her about who he was. His look today told her he was lost. Something inside him was hurt and he was trying to protect himself.

            Ga Eul thought about Cinnamon then. The small little Garfield like cat she had acquired at the park all those years ago. Jae Ha had warned Ga Eul to stay away from it. Her father and mother hadn’t been to pleased that she would come home every day with scratch marks but she refused to give up on the poor kitten. It seemed to be afraid of people but Ga Eul had been determined to take it home. She would bring it water, food, show it care even if she pet it once and would receive a bite or a scratch she did not care. Finally, the small kitten gave in after being attacked by a large dog. It had simply managed to escape by running to her and hiding in her arms. Ga Eul had been more than pleased to take the cat home. And Cinnamon still held such a dear place in her heart. She had kept him for such a long time and loved the cat until the day it died. Looking down at Yi Jeong she thought about all the animals she had compared him to these past few days and silently laughed at herself.

“He is a human Ga Eul” She spoke to herself.

“A very lonely and hurt soul.” She whispered, continuing to run her fingers softly though his hair.

            Yi Jeong reminded her of Cinnamon. The way the small kitten had so fiercely tried to protect itself from harm. Ga Eul remembers taking Cinnamon home and how abrasive he had been after they had arrived. For days Cinnamon refused to leave Ga Eul’s room. The first week Ga Eul had been forced to keep the litter box she had bought for him inside her room. When her father caught her he scolded her.

“You have to slowly coax him out. Sometimes a small push is enough.” Her father had explained and from then on the litter box was put outside her room each day moved out slowly until it was finally in the back of an empty hall. Food was kept for the cat there but Cinnamon had a small bed and lots of toys inside Ga Eul’s room.

            Within the next three months the cat slowly allowed itself to be cared for and when he was gone Ga Eul wasn’t the only one that had been upset about his parting. Smiling down at Yi Jeong she hoped that one day he would be able to share his troubles with his friends and hoped that she would be someone he could trust.

            While the thought of being with a man like him seemed impossible. Mainly because she knew her soulmate awaited her somewhere. Ga Eul hoped that she would be able to help Yi Jeong and be his friend forever so that she could see him when he too finally found his happiness.

***

            The light inside his room was too much. Yi Jeong could see the rays of the sun through his closed eyes and he felt the warmth hit his cheek harshly. Groaning softly, he shifted comfortably trying to hide his face. The pillow he was using was softer than he remembered but when he did move he felt a soft tug on his hair. It took a moment for him to realize that he wasn’t on a bed and instead he was lying on grass. It took a second after that for Yi Jeong to remember that he was not only not at home, but he had brought Ga Eul- yang to his secret sanctuary and had fallen asleep. Opening his eyes. Yi Jeong looked up and realized that his head was laying in Ga Eul’s lap. The girl was asleep in a sitting position her hand still on his head allowing him to know she had fallen asleep this way. Yi Jeong wondered if he should wake her or how. He was a little embarrassed that he’d fallen asleep in such a way and wondered what Ga Eul thought of him.

            He was glad that he had been asleep to not see what Ga Eul’s expression was like. Though when he realized she’d probably blush, that thought brought a smile to his face. Ga Eul was so innocent, Yi Jeong realized that even if he had been awake and was trying to make a pass at her Ga Eul would simply be to naïve to notice. Briefly Yi Jeong thought about Ga Eul’s friend Jae Ha, and wondered if the guy had actually ever tried to make a pass at Ga Eul but Ga Eul-yang being who she was never actually noticed.

            That thought in itself made Yi Jeong frown. There was something truly so innocent about Ga Eul that the thought of anyone actually trying to flirt with her was uncomfortable to think about. She was naïve, innocent, and the world today was not made for girls like her. Girls like Ga Eul were meant to be protected, and cherished and Yi Jeong had been honest the previous night when he’d spoken similar words to Ga Eul about it.

            Yi Jeong knew he was the least qualified to spout such nonsense about love but somehow out of everyone he knew, which included his friends, Yi Jeong realized Ga Eul was probably the most deserving to find true love. If Yi Jeong could find it himself he’d happily give that up just so that an innocent girl like Ga Eul could have it. She was pure and untainted by the bad in the world and Yi Jeong hoped that she could stay that way.

            Gently Yi Jeong reached to pry Ga Eul’s hand of his head and slowly he sat up. Ga Eul looked more than a little awkward with the way her head was hung forward. Not wanting to wake her up he gently moved her head to his shoulder. A soft sigh escaped Ga Eul’s lips and Yi Jeong smiled to himself. Looking at his watch he realized that it was almost noon. It seemed like they had slept through the morning. Looking around the empty field Yi Jeong thought of the words Ga Eul had spoke about secrets. Maybe he wasn’t going to speak out loud today but figured one secret would be enough.  He looked at Ga Eul who innocently slept and Yi Jeong wondered how she could let her guard down around a man like himself who had a reputation of bedding most of the girls at school.

            The prior days that lead to this and his encounters with Ga Eul made him feel uneasy in more than one way and he found himself thinking out loud to reveal one secret.

“I’m afraid of this person.” He spoke up.

“But I can’t seem to walk away.” He thought to himself.

“Something keeps me here. She has something that makes me want to run and stay at the same time. I have to know what it is and then I might be able to finally keep running.” Yi Jeong thinks to himself.

“Cinnamon.”

“Sunbae.”

            Her words catch him off guard and there’s a harsh pound in his chest that he can’t understand. Fear again? Whatever it is Yi Jeong silences it and lets the rest of the world be forgotten here for now.

***

            When Ga Eul wakes up she thinks she’s by the ocean. There’s that soft scent as the wind blows and she smiles to herself. She feels so well rested and only sits up when she hears a chuckle. Gasping and quite startled she pushes herself away from the warmth thinking that someone had come into her room. Instinctively she places her arms around herself trying to cover herself from whatever ert has come in her room. She wants to scream but when she realizes she’s outside and So Yi Jeong is staring at her with an amused look on his face she blushes.

“I fell asleep.” She states dumbly and Yi Jeong nods before turning back to what he was doing. There is a book in his hands and Yi Jeong is quite amused by it. His eyes seem to be rapidly reading the words and then he turns the page.

            It takes Ga Eul a second to realize it’s her book and she instinctively takes it away feeling like someone has suddenly read her diary which contains her deepest inner thoughts. There’s a look of surprise on Yi Jeong’s face and then he chuckles and shakes his head.

“Sorry. I. It’s my book.” Ga Eul managed to say to him.

“Yes. I know.” Yi Jeong tells her. The amusement in his voice not leaving.

“It’s quite interesting.”

“Thank you.”
“For a fairytale.” Yi Jeong added with a smirk which caused Ga Eul to frown when she realized he was making fun of her.

“You don’t believe in soulmates?” Ga Eul questioned him.

            There is a long pause and Yi Jeong seems quiet and Ga Eul knows his answer before he even speaks.

“No.”
“Do you believe in love?” Ga Eul asked. Something quick flickered in Yi Jeong’s eyes and it was clear to her that it was pain.

“No.” He spoke to her again.

The quiet between them lingered and Ga Eul found herself feeling sad with Yi Jeong’s choice of words.

            A soft little rumble was heard and Ga Eul turned to Yi Jeong who looked embarrassed. Then the noise sounded again and Ga Eul realized it was Yi Jeong’s stomach. Unable to stop herself she laughs lightly and looks back at Yi Jeong with amusement.

“Sunbae. Have you not had breakfast yet?” She questioned him.

“I’ve been a bit busy today.” Yi Jeong said to her and Ga Eul nodded.

“How about brunch then.” She says to him. He doesn’t respond but instead stands up and helps her back on her feet; both heading to his car.  Ga Eul expected him to give her back her book but instead he keeps it and places it in the glove compartment of his car.

            The ride was silent on their way back to the city. They drove in the quiet. Ga Eul happy at how composed and calm Yi Jeong was now. It seemed the rest had worked to temporarily evaporate the stress Yi Jeong had been in and Ga Eul was glad for that. They stopped at a small café and Ga Eul ordered herself a hot chocolate and Yi Jeong a coffee and bagel.

“Ga Eul-yang.” Yi Jeong spoke up to her.

“Yes. Sunbae.”
“You don’t really believe in all that do you. The fact that there’s one person in the entire world meant just for you?” Yi Jeong questioned.

“Why don’t you believe it?” Ga Eul countered back.

            It took a sip of coffee for Yi Jeong to answer back to her.

“It’s a nice notion. Much like irises whispering.” He said to her.

“Something that people wish to be true but isn’t?”
“Are you that type of person Sunbae?”
“Someone that wishes things like that existed but can’t admit to it?” Ga Eul questioned and Yi Jeong simply looked at her his expression blank before he shook his head.

“No. I’m a realist. Ga Eul-yang.”
“You don’t believe in love then?” Ga Eul countered.

“I believe people can connect to one another. They can strongly like each other, lust for each other. Feelings are fleeting.”

“What about your friends?” She asked him.

“It will end.” He spoke and Ga Eul found his words cold and slightly calculated. It reminded her once more of Sunny.

            There was quiet again and she wondered what to say to him.

“Do you think Jae Ha is your soulmate?” Yi Jeong questioned. It was brief but Ga Eul knew; he was intending to hurt her feelings by saying this or maybe make her think the same way he did. The second those words were spoken the pain in her heart was unable to be hidden.

“I’m sorry.” He spoke quickly and quite apologetic.

“I didn’t mean that I.”
“No. I don’t think so. Not anymore.” Ga Eul spoke to him honestly.

“Jae Ha is a very important person in my life. I love him.” She said to him.

“I don’t think he’s my soulmate. There’s a feeling in my heart that I know, and it has to let me see him.”
“You’ll know by just looking? It feels a little… misguided.”
“No.” Ga Eul said to him.

“I won’t know by looking at his face. I’ll know by looking into his heart.” She said to him.

“I want someone who can love me for who I am and I want to love him for who he is.” She responded.

“Your friends. Don’t you think they deserve to be happy? Like Ji Hoo and Jun Pyo, Jan Di”
“Maybe they can achieve that.”
“But not you?” Ga Eul questioned.

            It was that thought that made her realize why Yi Jeong was like that. At least partially because she still did not know the reason behind it.

“You claim to be a realist Sunbae. But you seem to be a pessimist.”

“Everyone deserves to be happy even a Casanova.”
“I saw you.” She spoke honestly.

“With Sunny that day. You didn’t care for her. And I thought you were a jerk.”
“I am.” He spoke rather bluntly to her.

“No.” She responded.

“You just haven’t found the right person yet.” She said to him.

“They’re all the same you know.” He said to her.

“No matter what I say or do. They all claim to love me. Even if treat them all the same and they know what happens at the end of two weeks.”
“They always beg.”
“Have you ever loved someone?” Ga Eul asked.

“Love isn’t just the love you find with another person. The love of friends is special. Family. Family is the most important.” She spoke to him.

“School will be out in a few minutes.” Ga Eul concluded when she looked at the large clock that hung behind the large café counter.

“I have to get to work soon.” She explained.

“I wanted to spend the day but. I missed yesterday.”

“Tomorrow then.” Yi Jeong spoke to her.

“I’ll try this time Ga Eul-yang. You’re my friend now and I can try for a friend.”
“50/50” Ga Eul spoke to him.
“We can go to the mall or the skate ring and you can pick any other place you want Sunbae.” Ga Eul concluded.

“Alright.” Yi Jeong spoke offering Ga Eul a smile.

***

            The sound of the potter wheel turning continued to sound in the silent studio. Yi Jeong allowed his hands to evaporate the remaining frustrations he felt. His head was clouded in the many things Ga Eul had said to him. For someone so innocent, she was rather wise with her words. She hadn’t been wrong when she called him a pessimist. But as far as anyone knew his life wasn’t what it seemed. Did his friends know the surface circumstances of the situation? Yes. Where they aware of the inner turmoil that ran inside his head daily? No.

            Yi Jeong thought about today. What a disaster things seemed to become. It seemed like his life was waiting to destruct and just for a moment Ga Eul-yang had seemed to be his brake. The pause she had set had all but subsided the moment she left and it seemed rather strange but the pain that he felt seemed to have completely vanished when being around her. Yi Jeong figured that having a friend like her would do him some good. As innocent as Ga Eul was and unaware of the situation she seemed to understand him more than his own friends. The things she had spoken about love however had made him feel bitter.

            Of course people that had love or had seen it would want to grasp it. At least that was what he had gathered from her words to him. Ga Eul his innocent little country bumpkin had loving parents a good family and great friends. And while she had confidence to find something she had Yi Jeong could only perceive love as a myth. He wasn’t sure about his friend yet. As far as he was concerned everything regarding them was always about mergers. It was the reason why they were all getting married to one another. He thought of Ji Hoo and realized he might be the only one to now agree with him that love was a myth. Whatever it was Yi Jeong for now was content with gaining a new friend and thinking up of something that was sure to impress Ga Eul-yang he smiled. Yes, tomorrow would be interesting.

***

Alright guys I hope you enjoyed this short chapter. I had intended on writing a date for them but I felt something was lacking and ended up writing this. The date will definitely come next chapter. I wanted to explain a few things just incase people are confused. I did not include the rest of F4 or the girls in this chapter because I think it was much needed for this pair to really talk and interact. Also I need the story to move a little faster all this will be happening in a matter of a two-week period in the story with a few extra chapters included. Next chapter the rest of F4 and the girls (Ariel included) Will be making small appearances. I don’t know how long the next chapter will be but I try to have fun with the way I write. Thank you for reading!