I was listening to my playlist and Dongwan's "The one left alone/ remaining person" ft Hyesung played. Because of the title and it was the remaining persons in my story that sang the song, I went to search for the english translation.

<Youtube link with sub>

*cries* Intially I thougt it described well how Dongwan felt when Eric walked out of his life. Then I realise it can just fit any of Ricwansyung.  It didn't help that this <link> started playing after that song. OMG the lyrics T.T

Junjin thanks Kangta and Jihoon as the two leave the room. He turns to his brother; Dongwan is staring blanking at nothing, his hands hugging the urn.

“Hyung…” It is agonizing for Junjin to see his almighty guardian ruin into this state. He inhales softly, blinking away the tears. “Hyung, do you really not remember me?” Dongwan doesn’t move a single muscle, as if he never sense Junjin’s presence at all. “I am Jin, your brother.” Junjin walks nearer to Dongwan, standing right in front of him as he looks into the older man’s eyes. Dongwan remains as he is.

Junjin tilts his head up as two columns of tears flow down his face. He recalls the first day he met Dongwan. It was the second day of school and a senior approaches him with a cheerful grin, introducing himself to Junjin and offering to show him around the school. He remembers how Dongwan used to buy him sweets and small snacks when they were little and how Dongwan would use his free time to help Junjin in his studies. “You cannot forget about me. I am Jin. You watched me grow up.”

Something flashes behind Dongwan’s lifeless eyes.

“Mummy, I saw Daddy bringing a boy to school today. Is he my brother?” The young Dongwan asked his mother eagerly. He had always wanted a brother. His mother's gentle eyes looked sadly at him as she picked him up and hugged him in her arms.

“Dongwan-ah, he is your brother, but you can’t acknowledge him as your brother.”

Dongwan gasped animatedly. “Why?!” His big round eyes stared straight into his mother’s eyes, as if she had just said the most horrifying thing.

“Dongwan-ah,” His mother cuddled and swayed him gently. “If you acknowledged your brother, his mummy might leave him. Do you want his mummy to leave him?”

Dongwan shook his head, but asked innocently, “Mummy, why would his mummy leave him if I acknowledge him as my brother? He IS my brother.”

“You’ll understand when you grow up.” His mother patted his head.

“But I want a brother,” the young Dongwan lowered his head disappointingly.

“If his mummy leave him he’d be sad. Do you want your brother to be sad?" Dongwan shook his head quickly.

***

Dongwan stood edgily at the school gate, waiting for the boy to appear with his father again. The bell would be going off anytime and he would be considered late for school if he still didn’t go in, but he really want to see his brother. At last, he spotted his father holding the boy’s hand running towards the gate. A huge smile appeared on Dongwan’s face, but the two ran passed him without stopping. The bell started ringing. Dongwan’s jaw dropped animatedly as he ran after the two to the assembly area.

Dongwan stealthily followed the boy until the boy entered his classroom. The naïve Dongwan smiled excitedly as he ran off to his own class. He could still treat him as a brother!  He just wouldn't acknowledge the boy as his brother.

***

“Hello I’m Dongwan! Nice to meet you!” Dongwan ambushed the cute little boy with a bowl haircut outside his classroom during break time. He squinted his eyes at the boy’s name tag. “Junjin…that’s a nice name! Let me show you around.” Dongwan scooped up Junjin’s hand and started acting as his guide to the school.

Junjin…

A drop of tears falls from Dongwan’s eyes, but he remains motionless. It is enough rekindle Junjin’s hope.

“Hyung,” Junjin says, his heart trobbing. “I know the excruciating pain you are going through, I know it felt like your entire world is taken from you. I also have someone I love. I watched him die in front of my own eyes too…” Junjin croaked when a lump forms in his throat. “He shielded me from a bullet.”

Dongwan tilted his head slightly, his eyes finally looking at Junjin.

“I know your pain because I felt it first-hand five and a half years ago…”Junjin looks into his brother's eyes, “But I have you. And now you have me. You have Hyesung hyung. You have Minwoo hyung. You still have many people that matters to you.”

“Jin!” Dongwan finally says his first word since Eric’s funeral. He hugs Junjin tightly in his arms; his brother returns the fierce embrace. After a crying spell, Junjin takes the letter Eric wrote to Dongwan and hands it to his brother.

“Eric hyung left you this.”

Dongwan’s eyes land on the letter. “He already planned to get himself killed when I talked to him over the phone. Why didn’t I suspect anything when he asked me to meet him at the rooftop? It is such an open area! Why did I realise so late?" His eyes return to Junjin. "I begged him to leave, Jin. I begged Eric to get away. But he still want to leave me anyway." Dongwan started his painful crying again.

“Hyung!” Junjin wraps his arms around Dongwan. “Hyung, calm down.” The younger man unfolds the letter and hands it to Dongwan once more. "Please read what Eric hyung wanted to tell you."

Part of Dongwan doesn’t want to see the content of the letter. He is afraid. Yet, this is Eric’s last words to him.

Dongwan,

I don’t know how I should start. For the past 10 minutes, I can only stare at your name that I wrote, asking myself how things became the way it is between us.

Hyesung marched over and told me Junjin is your brother. Your blood related brother. Why didn’t you tell me? I keep asking myself over and over again why you never let me know. I had been living the past 5 years believing that you betrayed me, believing that after Andy left, I am all alone. Then I realised, you must have your reasons before, and I was the one that never give you a chance to tell me the relationship after Andy’s death.

I went crazy.

But the crazier I was because of losing Andy, the more I understand the pain I am putting you through, threatening to take the life of your brother. Yet after all these, you still think I am your most important person.

I never approach Hyesung because of vengeance or because I want to make you suffer. I approach him because he has so many similarities to you. I first noticed him when he wrote about me, a journalist that managed to link the crimes to me when the police couldn’t find any evidences. I reminisced about you when I observed him in the dark. I smile thinking about our past when I saw how Hyesung resembles you. Then I found out you were sent to protect him after I started looking into him. After all these years of trying to deny my feelings for you, my heart still complains to me when Hyesung said you called out his name during your mountain climbing trips.

I never forget you. I never will be able to when you are the one who gave me the happiest moments of my life.

I caught a glimpse of you when you were rushing out of the dorm the first day Andy and I moved in. I was already smitten by you since then. Minwoo told me about your accomplishments in the cadet school and I started the rivalry between us because I want to prove that I am worthy for someone like you. Yet it gets out of hand and I don’t know how to show my true feelings for you. I just let it went on for years, but Andy saw right through me. Now i think about it, you saw right through me too, didn’t you? That was why you weren’t surprised that a man likes you and you accepted me straightaway when Andy pushed me to finally confess. All along you were always one step ahead of me, always able to read my mind.

During the final exam in our graduating year, when we were leading our own team against each other, you saw through my strategy. When I was in my dazed, you told me it was because you loved me so you were always able to read my mind. You kissed me in front of everyone and make our relationship public. I was the happiest person that moment. I always lost to you but it didn’t matter because I know what you said was true. You understand me too well.

I was the proudest man when you were named valedictorian of the year.

But you can no longer read my mind when Andy left us. I know you tried to understand me, tried to encompass me with your love, but I am no longer the Eric I used to be. I was too overwhelmed because Andy was my only family.

Maybe now it is my turn to read your mind, my turn to understand you. I saw in the police database how you had been since I left. Now I finally know, in addition to wanting to protect Jin, you disobey orders of dropping my case because you also wanted to protect me. I am right isn't it?

Why did I try to hurt you when I see you again at the beach? Why didn't I realise you still love me when you couldn't admit you love Hyesung? Why didn't I just do what my heart desired and admit that I missed you all these years?

Now everything is too late.

I’m sorry Dongwan. I know I will break you. But how can I go back to face you and everyone else? How can I pretend nothing had happened and live with you and Junjin after I had tried to take his life? How can I go back to destroy your life further when I know I am the most wanted criminal the police wants to apprehend? And Hyesung...I really fell for him after taking him away from you. I know you did too.

Stop saving such a huge place in your heart for me. I won't ask you to forget about me, but you need to stop being obstinate about us. You need to take the step forward. Hyesung is crazily in love with you. He deserves so much more than to be a victim of our love. Maybe it is fate that he fell for both of us and we both fell for him.

I've learnt to love him not as a substitute. He deserves so much more. Like how I cannot go back to you, I cannot be with him too.

Dongwan, I'm sorry I have no other choice but to leave. This time, I think I will be the one guessing your mind. Because I now understand you. Don't let me tie you down any further.

Please love Hyesung with all your heart and with mine too. Please let me live on in you. Love him for me.

Thank you Dongwan, my love.

Eric

***

Hyesung travel wearily to the room he left Dongwan before meeting Minwoo.

He feels relief after finally being able to let out all his bottled emotions, but the heart wrenching pain wouldn't numb away again. He had cried and howl in Minwoo's office. He cried for Eric, for Dongwan, and for himself.

He will never be able to see Eric again. He will never be able to cuddle with the man or sits quietly with him at the café again. He will never see the man with a smile, waiting for him with a cup of latte at the bus stop. He will miss all the moments Eric had given him.

Hyesung pushes open the door. "Dongwan ah, let's go home now." He calls out habitually. Dongwan would not react to anything he says yet, Hyesung thought. The journalist suddenly freezes when he lifts his head. Eric’s urn is on the table, without Dongwan's hand around it. The man at the seat turns to Hyesung, his eyes are filled with pain, but they are no longer soul less.

"Dong...Dongwan..." Hyesung stammers as his emotions overwhelm him again.

"Hyesung...I'm sorry." Dongwan stands up and walk towards the journalist, wrapping his arms around the man. "I love you," Dongwan murmurs through his sobs. "Thank you for everything Hyesung. I love you."

I don't know if you consider this ending angst or did it heal your heart a little after the angst in the earlier parts of the story. 

Or do you consider this Ricwan (Eric living on in Dongwan), Ricsyung (Eric loving Hyesung through Dongwan) or Wansyung (The two that ends up together).

Anyway I am glad it is completed =) 

Can I scrape the Ricwan bonus chapter and just do Jindy one? Oops...hahaha... Let me think more about it. Lazy me!

Now I can finally present this to miclargeone. YAY!!! To think she wrote me a fluff and I give her an angst. =X